Why can't I repent and be saved!?!

faceofbear

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I wonder what your understanding of the word repent is. Often, what is taken for the meaning of repent is to 'turn from sin' but this is not a biblical definition at all. Repent is one thing, turn is another.

Repent means, in short, to change ones mind about sin. In otherwords, to see one's sin in the same way as God sees it. To see it in all its wickedness and to move from a place of loving the sin to hating, loathing the sin because one recognizes it as evil.

The turning is what happens as a result of the repentance. If you don't see your sin as evil, you'll continue in it. But if you see it as an abhorrent thing, you will turn away from it and do it no more.

This happens only when the Spirit of God comes in and allows us to see the gravity of our sin. There is certainly the case where we are believers, but we do not see 'all' of our sins as grievous and we continue in them. Then, as time goes by, God will give us light in an area of our life and we are grieved by it. We repent and then we turn. Then God will work on the next thing.

Clearly, the first work of repentance for a believer must be that he sees the grievous nature of not trusting God with his life and the grievous nature of denying the sufficency of Christ's blood sacrifice on the cross to be propitiation(attonement) for his sin. Often, when the Holy Spirit accomplishes this work in the heart of the believer, He also accomplishes additonal repentance at the same time, but this is the first step.

Have you gotten that far?

It sounds like we have the same definition but the term I use is "a change of mind that leads to a change of action." You must change your mind about something in order to change your actions, but it is a 180 degree turning from sin, but the initial repentance needed is the change of mind and the actions will follow it if is true repentance.

With certain sins in my life I truly hate them, and all sins I want to cut out of my life, however, I feel like if I truly hated them then I wouldn't give into certain sins in my life so much. I understand that it is a sanctifying process but the sins I'm dealing with it seems when most have genuine faith it is one of the first things that go. And the sin I am talking of is one that is deliberately accomplished and if are truly saved it's impossible to deliberately go on sinning, or making a practice of sin which is why I question my repentance.

Although I have a question for you. Repentance towards sins seems to be something that happens AFTER conversion because when you are saved you are new creature and this is when you begin to hate sin. The repentance that is referred to so often in the Bible is repentance to BELIEVE in the gospel. They were calling people from their false Gods and wrong ways and to admit they were sinful people and to turn to Christ for the forgiveness of sins. So it seems that repentance needed for salvation is simply admitting that you are sinful and trusting in Christ to accomplish your forgiveness. Then once this happens you are a new creature and you will begin repenting of your sins.

IF it is a change of mindset towards sin then you can constantly question your repentance you can wonder if you truly repented and your assurance no longer lies on Christ but if your repentance is genuine.
 
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Ursie

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It sounds like we have the same definition but the term I use is "a change of mind that leads to a change of action." You must change your mind about something in order to change your actions, but it is a 180 degree turning from sin, but the initial repentance needed is the change of mind and the actions will follow it if is true repentance.

With certain sins in my life I truly hate them, and all sins I want to cut out of my life, however, I feel like if I truly hated them then I wouldn't give into certain sins in my life so much. I understand that it is a sanctifying process but the sins I'm dealing with it seems when most have genuine faith it is one of the first things that go. And the sin I am talking of is one that is deliberately accomplished and if are truly saved it's impossible to deliberately go on sinning, or making a practice of sin which is why I question my repentance.

Although I have a question for you. Repentance towards sins seems to be something that happens AFTER conversion because when you are saved you are new creature and this is when you begin to hate sin. The repentance that is referred to so often in the Bible is repentance to BELIEVE in the gospel. They were calling people from their false Gods and wrong ways and to admit they were sinful people and to turn to Christ for the forgiveness of sins. So it seems that repentance needed for salvation is simply admitting that you are sinful and trusting in Christ to accomplish your forgiveness. Then once this happens you are a new creature and you will begin repenting of your sins.

IF it is a change of mindset towards sin then you can constantly question your repentance you can wonder if you truly repented and your assurance no longer lies on Christ but if your repentance is genuine.

Have you made yourself accountable to anyone on these sins that you know are sin but can't seem to control? I can see why you worry if you are still in willful sin and aren't doing a thing about it. On the other hand, I have some issues in my own life that I repeat but that grieve me each time. I have an accountability partner who prays with me and regualarly questions me about those things. I need that acountability. It does help. Does your willful sin grieve you?
 
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RobertZ

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Does your willful sin grieve you?


It does me, or at least I think it does. If I even think about looking at a inappropriate content site on the web it makes me feel sick to my stomache.

Before I could look at the garbage day in and day out and love it, now I hate to even think about going there again. I dont know if these are good signs or not or if I have just reformed myself in someway. I do hope and pray that this is Gods work in my life and not just me doing it on my own will if that makes any sense.
 
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Ursie

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It does me, or at least I think it does. If I even think about looking at a inappropriate content site on the web it makes me feel sick to my stomache.

Before I could look at the garbage day in and day out and love it, now I hate to even think about going there again. I dont know if these are good signs or not or if I have just reformed myself in someway. I do hope and pray that this is Gods work in my life and not just me doing it on my own will if that makes any sense.


This sounds like a very good thing to me. Now, have you got an accountability partner?
 
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faceofbear

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Have you made yourself accountable to anyone on these sins that you know are sin but can't seem to control? I can see why you worry if you are still in willful sin and aren't doing a thing about it. On the other hand, I have some issues in my own life that I repeat but that grieve me each time. I have an accountability partner who prays with me and regualarly questions me about those things. I need that acountability. It does help. Does your willful sin grieve you?

The willful sinning does not "feel" willful, though I know it is. I fall into believing lies of Satan whispering "you're not saved. It's too late, God won't save you." Therefore when I believe this the mindset is "what does it matter what I do, I'm not saved anyways." And therefore I fall into sins. The sinning grieves me before, and after, but not during. I have sought accountability, I am very open with others in my church about my struggles but the only time I am free from this sin is when I rely on God's grace and accountability has rarely helped. It's all by relying on God and not self that I get through, and when I don't rely on God I give in, and the reason I don't rely on Him are the times where I doubt my salvation.
 
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Jeffwhosoever

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No and I dont need one, im to terrified of God to look at this junk anymore.

Ask your Pastor about this idea Robert.

God bless you,
Jeff
 
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Ursie

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No and I dont need one, im to terrified of God to look at this junk anymore.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.(1 Cor 10:12)

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling. Proverbs 16:18

There are many reasons for accountability. Your unwillingness to get one may be the very thing which keeps you from God. It shows a high level of pride which is a huge barrier between us and God. Huge!
 
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RobertZ

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There are many reasons for accountability. Your unwillingness to get one may be the very thing which keeps you from God. It shows a high level of pride which is a huge barrier between us and God. Huge!


Okay, you made your point and I am convicted over it. I will speak with one of my best friends today who is a strong christian and will set up a program that will allow him to check my internet activity.
 
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Jeffwhosoever

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Okay, you made your point and I am convicted over it. I will speak with one of my best friends today who is a strong christian and will set up a program that will allow him to check my internet activity.

Robert,

Google "christian accountability partners". I have several myself, and they cover sins of commission (pride, anger, etc), the fruits of the Spirit as recorded in Galatians and how I have grown in each area, and most importantly my walk with Jesus - time in church, scripture, Sunday school, prayer, and witnessing. I agree for you a narrower focus is in order, but I'd go further than just your internet activity.

In Him,
Jeff
 
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N

nhisname

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I am so tired of hearing, "if you desire to change that's enough of a repentance and as long as you're sorry for sinning and trust Christ your saved." I know this isn't what repentance is so why do people keep comforting me and telling me I'm saved when I know I am not!

There is nothing I would love more than to serve God and to have genuine faith in Christ and be dead in my sins to bring glory to God and to serve Him in some kind of ministry and dedicate my life to Him... but I can't. I have been struggling with sin so much and I just can't repent of it. Of course I can say the words "Lord I know I'm a sinner and that Jesus Christ is Lord and died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead. I'm sorry and I trust in you for forgiveness, it's sufficient enough for me, and I will turn away and invite your spirit in me and submit to your will so that I can bring glory to you." Yet words are only empty words. I desire this, yet my heart seems to be deceiving me because I keep on sinning and am heavily addicted to sexual immorality and inappropriate contentography and self gratification. I have become lazy in my work because I am so despondent because I know I am going to hell and no matter what I do I can't repent. I say the words and I desire to AFTER I sin, but not during the sin, even though I know I should stop. I don't want to hurt the other persons feelings and I love the feeling myself so it is impossible for me just to turn from it. I'm afraid I might hurt them and then they won't want to come to Christ either. I'm so lost. These sins have consumed my life and I want to be free of them, yet I can't STOP. Every time I'm tempted I act on them, theres no fight, there's guilt but no fight. I'm come to the Lord so many times begging for forgiveness yet my heart must be deceiving itself and not truly repenting.

I no longer no what to do. In all honesty, I'm not suicidal so this isn't a threat because I'm not going to harm or kill myself, but I just feel like dying. I feel like hell would be sufficient because at least there wouldn't be this anxiety over my salvation. Or perhaps I am saved and will go to Heaven to be with Christ. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't seem to care. I just.. I've brought this up to many people and everyone just says "theres a struggle so you're saved." That's great people think this but anyone who habitual sins is an indication that they are not saved and this sexual immorality, inappropriate contentography, and self gratification is more than habitual it an addiction and I cannot be freed from it and I know that freedom is in Christ but I don't know how to rely on Him for it. It feels like my soul is in the wrong body. Someone please help... I don't know what to do. I don't want comfort, I just want honesty and truth.

Jesus died to set us free from sin. Jesus said to be my disciple you need to deny yourself and pick your cross. We die to ourselves daily to let the spirit work in our lives, otherwise he can't. Whenever you are tempted ask the Lord to renew your mind, by doing this he will knock out the thoughts that are tempting you. We are in spiritual warfare right now and satan will hit you where you are weakest, we need God's strength for our defense. Get in his word, study and pray. Don't try to rely yourself for help.
 
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Ursie

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Okay, you made your point and I am convicted over it. I will speak with one of my best friends today who is a strong christian and will set up a program that will allow him to check my internet activity.

I'm glad to hear you say that you are convicted Robert. That's a very good thing, but I do recommend that this be more of a face to face thing where you talk with each other about your struggle.

I think it is best when you know you will have to verbalize that you've fallen to your friend, or even that you are tempted. It causes humility which is greatly needed in the believer's life. Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.

As Jeff suggested, look online for what other people are doing for Christian accountability partners. That will give you a better idea of what to expect. The one other thing that you need to be very sure of is that the person you choose really will hold you to truth. Sometimes, good friends are not the best choice because they have too much to lose if they confront you about something you are doing.

Is there a man in your church whose walk with the Lord you admire? That is the sort of man you should seek for an accountability partner.
 
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Jeffwhosoever

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Robert,

Find someone who has the Gift of Faith, and seems to have the Lord always with them. Focus on Galatians 5:22:

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, and self control. There is no law against these things!"

Jeff
 
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Jeffwhosoever

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Jesus died to set us free from sin. Jesus said to be my disciple you need to deny yourself and pick your cross. We die to ourselves daily to let the spirit work in our lives, otherwise he can't. Whenever you are tempted ask the Lord to renew your mind, by doing this he will knock out the thoughts that are tempting you. We are in spiritual warfare right now and satan will hit you where you are weakest, we need God's strength for our defense. Get in his word, study and pray. Don't try to rely yourself for help.

AMEN!:prayer:
 
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LukeGilkerson

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I know this feeling. I remember being so trapped in my inappropriate content addiction I couldn't believe I was really saved.

I won't tell you that you are saved for sure. I am no judge of such things. But I will say you sound alive in Christ from everything you wrote. Consider the alternative: if you were truly dead in sin (Ephesians 2:1) you would not be seeking God (Romans 3:11), you would not fear God (3:18), your conscience would inconsistently accuse and ardently defend your sinful actions (Romans 2:15), and you would be hostile to God (Romans 8:7). This is not what I read in your words at all.

I remember being entrenched in inappropriate content addiction and reading a passage like Romans 8:9-11 and getting so discouraged. It reads:

"You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you."
I used to read this text and think, "Oh great! I'm clearly controlled by my sinful nature, so I must not have the Spirit of Christ. Therefore, I must not belong to Christ."

But what I have come to understand is when Paul talks abut being controlled by the sinful nature, he is talking about being totally hostile and closed to God (the descriptions are vivid in chapters 1-3 of Romans). This passage here is clear: a person who belongs to Christ has a body that is dead because of sin, but a spirit that is alive because of God's Spirit.

He describes what this feels like in the chapter prior, "For in my inner being I delight in God's law [because Paul's spirit is alive] but I see another law at work in the members of my body [because Paul's body is dead], waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members" (Romans 7:22-24).

Now, that being said, I believe it is a good thing when we struggle over these questions about our salvation because in the intensity of those moments we have the opportunity to really search our souls, to really seek the Lord, to really fall apart before our Maker and cry out to him for deliverance.

Even the apostle John knew there would be times when our heart would utterly condemn us (1 John 3:20), which is why he wrote his first epistle: "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life" (1 John 5:20). I encourage you to read, study, and meditate on this book of the Bible and really ask God to convey to your spirit that you are a child of God (Romans 8:16). Take time to listen to some good sermons about 1 John (such as from DesiringGod.org), and allow God to speak to you.

Feel free to stop by my blog (CovenantEyes.com/blog). I have some posts you might enjoy:
1. Getting to the Root of Lust - Confessions of a inappropriate content Addict
2. Slavery to inappropriate contentography - The Battle to Break Free
3. Why Are So Many Christians Addicted to inappropriate content?
4. Transformed from the Inside Out
5. Six Reasons Why Guys Like inappropriate content (and how to break free)
6. Crucified with Christ: Overcoming Sin
 
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pdudgeon

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It does me, or at least I think it does. If I even think about looking at a inappropriate content site on the web it makes me feel sick to my stomache.

Before I could look at the garbage day in and day out and love it, now I hate to even think about going there again. I dont know if these are good signs or not or if I have just reformed myself in someway. I do hope and pray that this is Gods work in my life and not just me doing it on my own will if that makes any sense.

it makes a lot of sense :thumbsup:
learning to see sin as God sees it will really help you, but remembering how much He loves you and wants to free you from sin will help even more.:hug: my prayers are with you :prayer:
 
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MoNiCa4316

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I am so tired of hearing, "if you desire to change that's enough of a repentance and as long as you're sorry for sinning and trust Christ your saved." I know this isn't what repentance is so why do people keep comforting me and telling me I'm saved when I know I am not!

There is nothing I would love more than to serve God and to have genuine faith in Christ and be dead in my sins to bring glory to God and to serve Him in some kind of ministry and dedicate my life to Him... but I can't. I have been struggling with sin so much and I just can't repent of it. Of course I can say the words "Lord I know I'm a sinner and that Jesus Christ is Lord and died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead. I'm sorry and I trust in you for forgiveness, it's sufficient enough for me, and I will turn away and invite your spirit in me and submit to your will so that I can bring glory to you." Yet words are only empty words. I desire this, yet my heart seems to be deceiving me because I keep on sinning and am heavily addicted to sexual immorality and inappropriate contentography and self gratification. I have become lazy in my work because I am so despondent because I know I am going to hell and no matter what I do I can't repent. I say the words and I desire to AFTER I sin, but not during the sin, even though I know I should stop. I don't want to hurt the other persons feelings and I love the feeling myself so it is impossible for me just to turn from it. I'm afraid I might hurt them and then they won't want to come to Christ either. I'm so lost. These sins have consumed my life and I want to be free of them, yet I can't STOP. Every time I'm tempted I act on them, theres no fight, there's guilt but no fight. I'm come to the Lord so many times begging for forgiveness yet my heart must be deceiving itself and not truly repenting.

I no longer no what to do. In all honesty, I'm not suicidal so this isn't a threat because I'm not going to harm or kill myself, but I just feel like dying. I feel like hell would be sufficient because at least there wouldn't be this anxiety over my salvation. Or perhaps I am saved and will go to Heaven to be with Christ. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't seem to care. I just.. I've brought this up to many people and everyone just says "theres a struggle so you're saved." That's great people think this but anyone who habitual sins is an indication that they are not saved and this sexual immorality, inappropriate contentography, and self gratification is more than habitual it an addiction and I cannot be freed from it and I know that freedom is in Christ but I don't know how to rely on Him for it. It feels like my soul is in the wrong body. Someone please help... I don't know what to do. I don't want comfort, I just want honesty and truth.

:wave:You seem to be saying that if you were truly repentant, you would not sin any more. But surely we're too weak for that... (even Apostle Paul said he does things he doesn't want to do! ie sin). someday, we'll get there by God's grace, but it takes time and much effort. All we're called to do right now is to ask God for forgiveness after each time we've sinned, and keep on coming back to Him. It'll get better as you grow spiritually, promise. You're expecting way too much of yourself and this could even be a type of pride. Trust God's forgiveness and keep on trying:hug:
 
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faceofbear

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:wave:You seem to be saying that if you were truly repentant, you would not sin any more. But surely we're too weak for that... (even Apostle Paul said he does things he doesn't want to do! ie sin). someday, we'll get there by God's grace, but it takes time and much effort. All we're called to do right now is to ask God for forgiveness after each time we've sinned, and keep on coming back to Him. It'll get better as you grow spiritually, promise. You're expecting way too much of yourself and this could even be a type of pride. Trust God's forgiveness and keep on trying:hug:

My problem is knowing if I repented... knowing if I made God the LORD of my life... and if I have, why do I desire sin more than righteousness sometimes? I give into sin willingly, even though I hate it and it depresses me... *sigh*

It Will Cost You Everything on Vimeo
 
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MoNiCa4316

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My problem is knowing if I repented...

if you are sorry that you've offended God, and don't want to sin anymore, then you have repented.

knowing if I made God the LORD of my life...

it's good to intend to make God the Lord of your life. But actually living this out - this takes time to learn. That's why Christians don't instantly become perfect people :) sanctification is a lifetime process.

and if I have, why do I desire sin more than righteousness sometimes?

because we're weak... Apostle Paul wrote about this:I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I give into sin willingly, even though I hate it and it depresses me... *sigh*

It Will Cost You Everything on Vimeo

yes...that is something we ALL struggle with! :) it's a process to learn to not sin. Before then, just keep on coming back to God and don't despair of His mercy. Remember how much He went through to save us. Whenever you sin, repent and ask Him for forgiveness, from your heart.

God bless
 
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