What do you do, when the church betrays you?
Here's the situation--the church I used to live in, was a mennonite Christian Community, and I've lived side-by side with the people in that community for several years. We've had our little problems and our bigger problems, but I've never felt as betrayed as I do now. My parents and my 3 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers still lived there, until 6 moths ago, and there has been a lot of friction between the elders of the church and my Mother. This year she finally left the community to pursue her dream of going back to college to be a doctor--I left to pursue a dream, too, some years earlier, and discovered on returning that I'd changed too much to be comfortable in that environment anymore. However, I still had several friendships with members of that church. My mother when she left took my youngest sister, who is 13, with her to an out-of-state college, and left my younger brother with my dad--the rest of us are old enough to take care of ourselves. While my mother and sister were out of the state, a friend of my sister, (actually a younger sibling of my sister's best friend, 4 years old)was discovered playing with herself in a sexual manner by her mother, who noted that this is normal child behavior, and simply told the child why she should not do this. She happened to mention it to a certain church elder, however, who freaked out and questioned the parents of the child. The parents said that the child said once that her mother had taught her to do it, once that a neighbor boy taught her, and once that my sister taught her. This elder ignored the real facts, and instead reported my 13-year-old sister to Social Services stating that she was a sexual pervert who had molested this child....and posted a church-wide letter to all community members warning them to keep clear of her.
Why anyone would do such a horrible, blasphemous thing to my sister is beyond my comprehension. She is a sweet, caring girl who loves everyone, who is shy and naive, having never been in a public school until the age of 12, and she's clever enough to recognise an attack like this.
So far my mother has managed to get her through being interrogated by a social worker(who came all the way to my grandmother's house out of state to find her), but my mother has not told her the real reason the church is attacking her--our elders's judgement is clouded by two things, one that they were molested as children themselves--and two, that they are trying to get my parents kicked out of the community.
And my mother has not told her the real result of these accusations--my sister's reputation in the community is shot. She will never be able to go back home again, never be able to play with her old friends or schoolmates, not even her best friend--she'll never again be welcome in that church. She'll have to live with my Grandmother and Mother until my parents find some way to move. She might even blame herself for their having to go, if she knew. That's an awful load to bear, for a 13-year-old.
I'm very close with my family, and this attack on my sister feels like a personal attack, to me. I've known that they wanted my family to leave the community for some time now, but I never thought that the Elders would be as back-stabbing and underhanded as this. I feel betrayed, because the very elder who reported my sister without even asking her what happened, was the same elder whom I have been friends with for some time. I want to help my sister...and I hate feeling that my friend has betrayed me and my family in such a permanent way...
Asking for your prayers and your advice on this situation...the most obvious cure is that my family simply leave, but it's not easy to do that, with a family of 8(they would also be leaving me behind), with no money, no jobs to go to, and only my grandmother's small house to shelter them...
Here's the situation--the church I used to live in, was a mennonite Christian Community, and I've lived side-by side with the people in that community for several years. We've had our little problems and our bigger problems, but I've never felt as betrayed as I do now. My parents and my 3 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers still lived there, until 6 moths ago, and there has been a lot of friction between the elders of the church and my Mother. This year she finally left the community to pursue her dream of going back to college to be a doctor--I left to pursue a dream, too, some years earlier, and discovered on returning that I'd changed too much to be comfortable in that environment anymore. However, I still had several friendships with members of that church. My mother when she left took my youngest sister, who is 13, with her to an out-of-state college, and left my younger brother with my dad--the rest of us are old enough to take care of ourselves. While my mother and sister were out of the state, a friend of my sister, (actually a younger sibling of my sister's best friend, 4 years old)was discovered playing with herself in a sexual manner by her mother, who noted that this is normal child behavior, and simply told the child why she should not do this. She happened to mention it to a certain church elder, however, who freaked out and questioned the parents of the child. The parents said that the child said once that her mother had taught her to do it, once that a neighbor boy taught her, and once that my sister taught her. This elder ignored the real facts, and instead reported my 13-year-old sister to Social Services stating that she was a sexual pervert who had molested this child....and posted a church-wide letter to all community members warning them to keep clear of her.
Why anyone would do such a horrible, blasphemous thing to my sister is beyond my comprehension. She is a sweet, caring girl who loves everyone, who is shy and naive, having never been in a public school until the age of 12, and she's clever enough to recognise an attack like this.
So far my mother has managed to get her through being interrogated by a social worker(who came all the way to my grandmother's house out of state to find her), but my mother has not told her the real reason the church is attacking her--our elders's judgement is clouded by two things, one that they were molested as children themselves--and two, that they are trying to get my parents kicked out of the community.
And my mother has not told her the real result of these accusations--my sister's reputation in the community is shot. She will never be able to go back home again, never be able to play with her old friends or schoolmates, not even her best friend--she'll never again be welcome in that church. She'll have to live with my Grandmother and Mother until my parents find some way to move. She might even blame herself for their having to go, if she knew. That's an awful load to bear, for a 13-year-old.
I'm very close with my family, and this attack on my sister feels like a personal attack, to me. I've known that they wanted my family to leave the community for some time now, but I never thought that the Elders would be as back-stabbing and underhanded as this. I feel betrayed, because the very elder who reported my sister without even asking her what happened, was the same elder whom I have been friends with for some time. I want to help my sister...and I hate feeling that my friend has betrayed me and my family in such a permanent way...
Asking for your prayers and your advice on this situation...the most obvious cure is that my family simply leave, but it's not easy to do that, with a family of 8(they would also be leaving me behind), with no money, no jobs to go to, and only my grandmother's small house to shelter them...
