What's The Top Reason For Divorce?

[chaz345]

No, it's what the Bible says. I found it here. look at what it says,
Mark 10:11-12
11And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

You should probably be aware of McScribe's own personal situation before continuing with him. See this thread:

http://www.christianforums.com/t7504527/

 

[mylife4his]

Yes I'm married.

Money is definatly something you should concern yourself with. Even if you have the same hopes, goals and dreams you need to plan out how you are going to go about those.

The 4 things I've always heard you should discuss throughly before marriage are.

Money, Sex, Children, and In-Laws.



And thats great and all. But approaching it by just saying "Well we don't belive in divorce, so therefore it will never happen." is a VERY BAD IDEA.

The thing is that everyone has a breaking point in things. You can oppose divorce all you want, but if everything goes bad in your marriage and it isn't fixed, either you or your wife will eventually break and file for divorce. I havn't been divorced and I can tell you that.

God tells us a marriage is to be two people becomming one flesh. The best way to prevent divorce is to focus on this. One flesh means you are united in everything. Unity is the key here.

Its great not to belive in divorce, but if you rely on that alone to keep you married, your marriage is going to be uncomfortable with a lot of trouble and still has a very good likelyhood of failing.

Oh not alone man. Our relationship with God is what matters most! He is the glue, that no man can break! He is the door that no man can shut. He is our only hope!

 

[Mayzoo]

No, it's what the Bible says. I found it here. look at what it says,
Mark 10:11-12
11And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Adultery is an approved reason for divorce within a Christian marriage. Not mandatory, but acceptable. I can find the verse should you not be familiar with it.

 

[McScribe]

Getting a divorce, committing an adultery, murder, whatever you like--none of these keep people out of Heaven. Are they good to do? No; they have often serious consequences. That's not the point. We're all sinners, Jesus forgives us anyway. We don't try to be good in order to go to Heaven but in order to be like Jesus because it is good, right and better to be. We strive for God's love because it's good.

David was a man after God's own heart. Wasn't David an adulterer, a murderer, a thief?

Jacob was the founder of the nation most beloved by God. Wasn't he a cheat and a liar?

Abraham was the friend of God. Didn't he prostitute his wife TWICE?

I agree that it is good to obey the Lord; it is not pivotal in the way that you mean though.

It seems like you're afraid of what will happen if you get married in our society where divorce is so prevalent. If I were training you for a hazardous job, I would advise you to take safety precautions but I would also give you advice for if accidents or mistakes happened. In the same way if you get married you can only trust in God and do your very best. Just as if you are on a hazardous job site and you get an injury it can happen when it is not your fault at all, so it can be that you can be married and be the best husband you can be and be devoted to God with every fibre of your being and still end up divorced.

Look at the story of Job. Job was spotless in the sight of the Lord; Satan came against him. God makes it very clear to Job: the world is not a safe place.

 

[WolfGate]

I would contend that money fights, adultery, neglect, all those other things still fall back to putting something (earthly) ahead of your spouse and forgetting that love is a verb. Get the heart right in marriage, and the actions will follow. Sure, you'll slip up sometimes or fight sometimes, but if the heart is focused on God, spouse, kids, ministry, etc. in that order, you'll come back to even keel.

There will be times where only one spouse has priorities messed up, and divorce may happen regardless.

As others have said, sin doesn't keep you from heaven. Conversly you don't earn your way in by being good. You're good as a response to God's amazing love and grace for us. Kind of the model for marriage, no?

 

[Conservativation]

Statistically in the church some 90% of divorces have NO reasons. meaning no grouds
People are fickle about emotions....women file most divorces, 2/3 to be exact, of those they file 94% HAVE FICKLE REASONS.

 

[janman345]

Statistically in the church some 90% of divorces have NO reasons. meaning no grouds
People are fickle about emotions....women file most divorces, 2/3 to be exact, of those they file 94% HAVE FICKLE REASONS.

The problem is everyone defines "grounds" differently. Even within the bible itself there are verying degrees of inturpretation.

 

[mylife4his]

Adultery is an approved reason for divorce within a Christian marriage. Not mandatory, but acceptable. I can find the verse should you not be familiar with it.

Oh i know them verses. ANd yes Divorce is fine. You just can't remarry, that's what Im reading here.. Unless you can show me somewhere in the Bible where He says remarriage is ok. Then I will say, Hey YOUR Right! I'm guessing God's Grace is like Insurance huh?

 

[janman345]

Oh i know them verses. ANd yes Divorce is fine. You just can't remarry, that's what Im reading here.. Unless you can show me somewhere in the Bible where He says remarriage is ok. Then I will say, Hey YOUR Right! I'm guessing God's Grace is like Insurance huh?

well if you divorce and burn with passion that position is also not realistic.

 

[pgp_protector]

Not keeping one's word.

 

[OGM]

well if you divorce and burn with passion that position is also not realistic.

A person who is divorced at age 22 might have to burn with passion a very long time if they cannot remarry until the ex is dead. It is not uncommon for people to live past 80. Assuming you and the ex lives until 82...:o Without an outlets at all I think it would be permissible to go on the same class of libido reducing drugs that are given to sex offenders.

 

[Mayzoo]

Oh i know them verses. ANd yes Divorce is fine. You just can't remarry, that's what Im reading here.. Unless you can show me somewhere in the Bible where He says remarriage is ok. Then I will say, Hey YOUR Right! I'm guessing God's Grace is like Insurance huh?

I think this is verse I am thinking of:

31It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness [sexual immorality], causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. - Matthew 5:31-32

And:

8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:8-9

What makes God's grace like insurance? I view it as a gift not to be abused. So, I guess I am just curious how it equates to insurance.

 

[janman345]

A person who is divorced at age 22 might have to burn with passion a very long time if they cannot remarry until the ex is dead. It is not uncommon for people to live past 80. Assuming you and the ex lives until 82...:o Without an outlets at all I think it would be permissible to go on the same class of libido reducing drugs that are given to sex offenders.

Im sure thats not what God intended, you dont think thats a little out in left field?

 

[janman345]

I think this is verse I am thinking of:

31It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness [sexual immorality], causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. - Matthew 5:31-32

And:

8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:8-9

What makes God's grace like insurance? I view it as a gift not to be abused. So, I guess I am just curious how it equates to insurance.

People seem to overlook this part, the allowances for divorce in duet were writen after the beginning. Did our hearts suddenly become less hard becuase Jesus came? No, so why the more onerus restrictions even though human nature has not changed (this would make the bible inconsistant), I believe Jesus was saying how things were in the beginning but the allowances had to be put into place because of human nature. The bible is not explicit in what is allowable for divorce other than a few cases so to say that anything other than thoes few cases you need to be put on castration drugs is abusrd and makes you look like your trying to start a cult. Jesus stated martial unfaithfulness and that can mean alot of different things to people, to suggest that it is narrow rather than more broad would make Jesus out to be an ogre and I do not think that was the intention of that passage.

When that passage in mathew is micro analysed that is when you spiral out of control into legalism.

 

[Nobility]

Dating for years and remaining celibate until you are 25 is a pretty tall order. Human sex drive will be competeing against your post. Sorry thats the reality of being a human being, thats why people way back in the day got married at 16. If we could control when we hit puberty I might buy some of your advice but some key points are not realistic. I do agree that taking steps to avoid pregnancy is a good idea but to suggest celibacy until your 25 is boarder lining absurd.

Interestingly, I think you'lll find the statistic that was quoted was accurate. They weren't suggesting we did that, but that those who marry after 25 have a higher chance of success. 1-3 years of dating also has higher chance of success. But seriously, 1 year isn't very long... at a minimum you'd be good to have 6 months dating and 6 months engaged.........

 

[janman345]

Interestingly, I think you'lll find the statistic that was quoted was accurate. They weren't suggesting we did that, but that those who marry after 25 have a higher chance of success. 1-3 years of dating also has higher chance of success. But seriously, 1 year isn't very long... at a minimum you'd be good to have 6 months dating and 6 months engaged.........

thats all fine and dandy but who are you having sex with from puberty to age 25 that alot of high labido years to not be having sex.

Thats the issue. Also dating for a year with no sex is a pretty tall order (at least for the male).

 

[mylife4his]

well if you divorce and burn with passion that position is also not realistic.

Im not here to argue over doctrine. I just want the most healthiest marriage. WHAT things should I do to prevent divorce? The Bible isn't very clear except of what Jesus said. But was for the christians? Or Both sinner and christian? Idk, I won't worry about it. Becuase with God's help, I wont divorce

 

[janman345]

Im not here to argue over doctrine. I just want the most healthiest marriage. WHAT things should I do to prevent divorce? The Bible isn't very clear except of what Jesus said. But was for the christians? Or Both sinner and christian? Idk, I won't worry about it. Becuase with God's help, I wont divorce

Make sure you sex, money and kid goals are aligned (the sex one presents a conundrum with some christians becusae "premarital sex" is frowned upon) the problem is you have to discover what it is you like and want before you can find that in another person (ie what are you into sexually). Well, how are you suppose to discover that without taking some test drives. Alot of the church dogma looks good on paper but does not really hold up in the real world.

 

[Mayzoo]

People seem to overlook this part, the allowances for divorce in duet were writen after the beginning. Did our hearts suddenly become less hard becuase Jesus came? No, so why the more onerus restrictions even though human nature has not changed (this would make the bible inconsistant), I believe Jesus was saying how things were in the beginning but the allowances had to be put into place because of human nature. The bible is not explicit in what is allowable for divorce other than a few cases so to say that anything other than thoes few cases you need to be put on castration drugs is abusrd and makes you look like your trying to start a cult. Jesus stated martial unfaithfulness and that can mean alot of different things to people, to suggest that it is narrow rather than more broad would make Jesus out to be an ogre and I do not think that was the intention of that passage.

When that passage in mathew is micro analysed that is when you spiral out of control into legalism.

What I gather from the Bible is that more is expected from mankind after Jesus' coming than before. That is why the definition of adultery was broadened to include lusting after a woman not just sexual relations, murder is no longer defined as just the act, but also the hate found in our hearts for another, and why we are now commanded to not just love our neighbor any longer--now we are to love our enemies too etc......

As far the definition of "marital unfaithfulness", I have never spent time researching it as it has not pertained to my life at this time and I am prayerful that it never will. I am only familiar with the traditional definition, but will not state that that is the only possible definition.

My sole point was to explain to this young man is the biblical reason I am confident in that allows for divorce and remarriage when two Christians are involved. I am not confident in any other reasons, so I will not explore any other reasons with him. If anyone else is confident in other reasons, feel free to explore them with this young man.

Since I have been married to the same man for 20 years, and it is both our first marriages, I have no personal need to research this subject at great length.

I believe your castration drug comment was really for another poster .

 

[janman345]

What I gather from the Bible is that more is expected from mankind after Jesus' coming than before. That is why the definition of adultery was broadened to include lusting after a woman not just sexual relations, murder is no longer defined as just the act, but also the hate found in our hearts for another, and why we are now commanded to not just love our neighbor any longer--now we are to love our enemies too etc......

As far the definition of "marital unfaithfulness", I have never spent time researching it as it has not pertained to my life at this time and I am prayerful that it never will. I am only familiar with the traditional definition, but will not state that that is the only possible definition.

My sole point was to explain to this young man is the biblical reason I am confident in that allows for divorce and remarriage when two Christians are involved. I am not confident in any other reasons, so I will not explore any other reasons with him. If anyone else is confident in other reasons, feel free to explore them with this young man.

Since I have been married to the same man for 20 years, and it is both our first marriages, I have no personal need to research this subject at great length.

I believe your castration drug comment was really for another poster .

It was for anotehr poster but actually its for any poster who recommends the narrow view of allowable divorce but gives no practical ways of dealing with that burning passion. Its a non argument and a distortion of scripture and the bible as a whole. I am very careful with whom I associate because who we assoicate with affects who we are/become. I dont want to be in association with a staunch legalist who is going to drag my life down, I know when I mess up I dont need someone micro analysing a 2 line scripture in an attempt to massivly manipulate my life and get me on castration drugs lol.