Im at a cross roads with what I should do with the gallery of family members that are very toxic.
1) my mom neglected me as a kid. beat me up, let her boyfriends beat me up , kicked me out repeatedly until i left for the military. the verbal abuse was an all time high from her to me, but not my sisters. we have different fathers; so because i look like my dad she takes her frustrations out on me just because i existed
2) this same mom alienated me from my dad's side of the family. so up until this year im learning my last name really isnt my dad's last name. she remarried when i was little but what happened was my mom named me after my grandfather. so i have a whole family that im 'not allowed to claim' (im an adult btw) as my family members.
3) i went through a terrible divorce. she got caught cheating, tried to alienate me from my kids all while slandering me to anyone that would listen from my former friends to co workers. this went on for years.
4) my mom and sisters who are just as toxic as her, love to gossip about me, judge and slander me...until they need money or some emergency they want me to help out with. if i dont, then of course im not really a christian, im manipulative a liar etc. but if i give in, im blessed man of God.
i say all this because this pattern has been going on since i became independent ; i leave them alone , they contact me to 'apologize' then some monetary situation comes up and it's back to arguing again. i've set up my boundaries that i wont be around them , if at all, for all the reasons listed above, but also they drink smoke and smoke weed. im not at all into that. as of lately, i've found that my mom and sisters are taking my ex wife and sisters to family dinners and now im getting threatening text messages from phone numbers that i've never seen before.
what would you do? ive already held my peace and not done anything - i havent even responded to the missed calls or texts. ive expressed how uncomfortable it is for my ex wife to be with my 'family' but no sooner than them not needing anything , they are right back to doing what ever they want. bible says to forgive but can i just forgive and let the exit my life completely?
1) my mom neglected me as a kid. beat me up, let her boyfriends beat me up , kicked me out repeatedly until i left for the military. the verbal abuse was an all time high from her to me, but not my sisters. we have different fathers; so because i look like my dad she takes her frustrations out on me just because i existed
2) this same mom alienated me from my dad's side of the family. so up until this year im learning my last name really isnt my dad's last name. she remarried when i was little but what happened was my mom named me after my grandfather. so i have a whole family that im 'not allowed to claim' (im an adult btw) as my family members.
3) i went through a terrible divorce. she got caught cheating, tried to alienate me from my kids all while slandering me to anyone that would listen from my former friends to co workers. this went on for years.
4) my mom and sisters who are just as toxic as her, love to gossip about me, judge and slander me...until they need money or some emergency they want me to help out with. if i dont, then of course im not really a christian, im manipulative a liar etc. but if i give in, im blessed man of God.
i say all this because this pattern has been going on since i became independent ; i leave them alone , they contact me to 'apologize' then some monetary situation comes up and it's back to arguing again. i've set up my boundaries that i wont be around them , if at all, for all the reasons listed above, but also they drink smoke and smoke weed. im not at all into that. as of lately, i've found that my mom and sisters are taking my ex wife and sisters to family dinners and now im getting threatening text messages from phone numbers that i've never seen before.
what would you do? ive already held my peace and not done anything - i havent even responded to the missed calls or texts. ive expressed how uncomfortable it is for my ex wife to be with my 'family' but no sooner than them not needing anything , they are right back to doing what ever they want. bible says to forgive but can i just forgive and let the exit my life completely?