What to do with non believing friends

[clep]

I recently had someone respond to another post on this site with something that brings a new question to me. That person asked me if one of my relationships was based in Christ.

I have only become a Christian in the last number of months. If all relationships ought to be based in Christ, what do I do with the relationships I currently have.

My friends are supportive of my lifestyle and relationship with God and I would be quite unhappy to leave those friendships.

How did other new Christians handle this?

 

[Sketcher]

Well, you don't have to leave those friendships. You should generally try to keep those friendships alive, unless they're toxic people who really try to push a bad lifestyle on you, such as drugs. If someone's trying to quit doing drugs, one of the things they generally have to do is get rid of their "drug 'friends'".

What you should do is add Christian friends to your life. Find fun, trustworthy, grounded Christians and add them to your life.

 

[fm107]

Hi Clep,

Continue to be their friends, be a good testimony and pray for them that they might repent and believe in God.

One day a conversation may arise about God and existence etc, you can use those opportunities to talk to your friends about God.

1 Peter 3:15-16
But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

1 Peter 2:12
Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Jesus sat with tax collectors and sinners that he might bring them to God:

Mark 2:16-17
When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the "sinners" and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: "Why does he eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

You should be careful though if your friends do things which are frowned upon, watch that you too do not fall to their level. Be careful how you conduct yourself in front of them that you may be a good testimony what I mean by that is make sure you behave yourself as the scriptures above say.


God Bless.

 

[clep]

Hi Clep,

Continue to be their friends, be a good testimony and pray for them that they might repent and believe in God.

One day a conversation may arise about God and existence etc, you can use those opportunities to talk to your friends about God.

1 Peter 3:15-16
But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

1 Peter 2:12
Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Jesus sat with tax collectors and sinners that he might bring them to God:

Mark 2:16-17
When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the "sinners" and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: "Why does he eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

You should be careful though if your friends do things which are frowned upon, watch that you too do not fall to their level. Be careful how you conduct yourself in front of them that you may be a good testimony what I mean by that is make sure you behave yourself as the scriptures above say.


God Bless.

This is what I was thinking also, you just put it so much better than I and added in the scripture. As a new Christian I find it helpful to see the scripture with my family background. I guess I am not trustworthy that people's interpretations of the bible are the same as the words.

I was recently in the type of situation you have mentioned actually. Well now I am. Tomorrow night is a going away party for a friend of mine. It was supposed to be at her house, with our children present, and family time. It then progressed to a passion party, a sitter to watch all of our children in the basement so we could drink, and a night out after at the pub. Ugh. One scenario couldn't be farther away from the other. It is rare for my friends to do much without their children and rare for this type of thing to go on, but it isn't like it never happens either.

I decided to drop by before the passion party starts without my child, bring her a gift, wish her well and leave. She knows why I have changed my mind. The last children's bday part we were at, I was as I knew I should be. My friends started asking questions on what was going on. I don't think there is a large change, but they noticed I would only have one alcoholic drink. That was enough to spark a conversation about where my life is at now. The afternoon turned out quite nice. They asked lots of questions and one of them is coming to church with me.

That is what made me think that it isn't my job to put my nose up, but bend down and extend a hand to lift others up.

 

[Peripatetic]

Good advice here. Keep the friendships unless they are driving you to bad places. When the time is right, just tell them how your new-found faith works in your life (without pressuring or being judgmental). Then just answer their questions. If you were to abandon these friendships, you may end up reinforcing some of the negative stereotypes out there.

 

[singpeace]

Follow Christ's example. He was always accepting invitations to dinners, weddings, and gatherings at the homes of those considered unclean, vile, sinners, idolaters, and all manner of evil. However; watch out that you are not weak because you are a young Christian and make sure to stay away from situations where you might fall victim to your old ways. But stay away with dignity and respect.

Jesus treated the 'heathen' with unconditional love and never condemned a single one of them... even when one was caught in the very act of adultery. He did not scold or shame, but healed an already wounded and shameful heart.

Win them if you can, but do it through love and meekness and patience and kindness. Be gentle as a dove (but wise as a serpent... don't become a doormat).

Let God do what He does best through you as you grow in grace.

 

[salida]

Keep them. But is important to also have friendships that are inspirational in your walk with Christ.

 

[hisoneandonly]

Friendships are very important in your walk with Christ, ^ as the person has said above me... Relationships are hard to come by, God puts the people in your life for a reason. :] I have been a Christian for a long time, but it was just recently that I have dedicated myself, to Christ. :] Pray about everything, it really helps.

 

[swendoogs]

Keep loving them. don't be afraid to gently talk about your new faith. Measure whether your relationships is are pulling you away from your relationship with Christ or if drawing them, even slightly, to consider Christianity and God. Be cautious with those that seem to be influencing you away from Christ.

 

[clep]

Well I am so glad I didn't go to the party last night. I just didn't feel right about it and thought as some of you have said it might be swaying. Looking at the pictures today of the event that were posted I would not have been able to be as many of you have suggested. I probably would have walked out in disgust and been exactly what they did not need to see a Christian being. Uggg

As you know there was a Passion party and that is one thing I had a really hard time with, as well as drinking alcohol around the children. There were LOTS of children there. I saw a picture this morning of one of the girls that is three in front of the Passion party table inspecting the numerous toys that were available and she had a rather large item used for a woman only in her had. Most of the pictures I was shocked with and I am having a really hard time not being judgmental today, although I know that is not right.

I don't think I could have handled seeing what went on there. I am actually shocked at the pictures I saw with the little girls really scantily dressed along with moms for this Luau. I have never seen anything like this from them, but I do miss many occasions with them all.

I will be reading your words on this post many times. In fact I think I should print it out for future reference.

Thanks to everyone for your encouraging and wise words. I am so grateful to have the wisdom and patience of people in this site.