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Featured What should I do?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Wolfe, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    Alright, this is half a prayer request, and half advice, I decided I needed advice more than a prayer (not belittling prayer), so I posted here.

    Basically, been depressed my whole life, it isn't a brain thing, I have identified the problem, and for 4 or so years, I've been trying to fix the problem.
    The problem is loneliness, I am a very social person, living the life of an introvert.
    I don't go out, I don't do anything, speak to anyone, I'm alone.

    The life I live, is forced on me, it's either be miserable and alive, or die on the streets, I don't live in the best of towns, crime wise.
    The best option for my physical survival, is to just live as I am now. But I fear my mental health is dwindling, and there isn't much I can do to save it.

    Here is why it is forced, I have no license to drive and I cannot get one until I am 18, family rule.

    I was forced to be homeschooled, even after expressing that I wanted, and needed to go to school.

    And I was forced to not go to homeschooler events and that sort of stuff, basically I was forced into an anti social lifestyle.

    I have reach an age now, where I can actually do something about it (17), but what that is, I don't know.

    I've literately tried everything I can think of.

    1. Befriend locals. Drunks, and meth heads are not good friends for a child.

    2. Go to a church. I do, sometimes, it's the only place I can go, but the problem arises, the years of anti socialization, have made me inept at socializing like a normal human. I physically cannot just go up and talk to people, I've tried, and I've tried to force myself, it's not going to happen. I rely on them coming up to me and starting a conversation, which does not happen, because I look like a serial killer, being honest. I wouldn't approach me either.

    3. Make friends online. I have, but it doesn't cut it, I need physical people.
    Why? I'm not sure, text just doesn't cut it.
    I need someone to care about me, and I need to be able to see it.
    No one in my life cares, or loves me, not even my family.

    4. Go to a store and talk to people, surely they're not bad people. Maybe, maybe not, but the point in 2 stands.

    I've exhausted all I can think of, and all my coping mechanisms no longer work.

    Every 4 months or so, I get in a state like I am now, I start getting extremely depressed, then eventually accept it, and move on.
    I need to avoid the depression stage, and have nothing to accept.
    I need to fix it, because before long, I will lose my mind.

    I have 1 more year, before my license, and I gain my freedom (but how long after that will it take for me to actually be free), I don't think I'll make it another year, because each time this happens, I lose a bit of myself, eventually I will be nothing.

    I think about a way out endlessly.
    I do not attribute this suffering to God, I don't blame it on him, I know he loves me.
    A year ago I didn't even have God, and a year ago I was worse, so that is an improvement. But I also see I'm sliding down a hill again, I'm just trying to keep my head above water until things can get better.
    I will get to the point I was a year ago, before long.

    There are other reasons I feel the way I do, not just the being lonely.
    It's also the why, why was I forced to live like this, and why is it impossible for me to fix?
    There's got to be a way out that I'm not seeing.

    So, what do I do?

    What would you do?

    There are no bad ideas

    I also want to note, I hate posting things like this, because I know it could be much much worse, I could have no legs, or not have this computer (which has been the reason I've stayed sane so long), it could always be worse. But that doesn't make a bad situation good.

    I ask for prayers and advice, if you will, and Thank You, in advance.
    (also if this is the wrong forum area I apologize, move it if you want.)

    God Bless.
     
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  2. Cimorene

    Cimorene Hi!

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    I'm the same age & my heart goes out to you. Why has your family kept you so isolated? I don't understand why they wouldn't be happy you want to be social & encourage it. I don't understand forcing homeschooling at 17 either. :( There's got to be decent people our age where you live you could make friends with. We can be friends if you want but it won't be the same bc we can't hang out in person which is what you really need.
     
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  3. Goodbook

    Goodbook Reading the Bible

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    who's forced you to homeschool? So what exactly is your living situation, with your parents or caregivers? Who is homeschooling you, and why?

    I don't understand why you are being homeschooled and then can't go to home schooling events. Have you always been home schooled?

    Can you play a musical instrument, do you write, or have any hobbies you want to learn? If you find an activity that you like, then see if there's a group in your local area that you can join, and if you can't literally go out see if there's a way someone can carpool you to where you need to go.

    and since this is a christian forum, do you know Jesus and that he can be a friend to you and send you friends who can come to you. In the bible there's this paralysed man and he wanted to see Jesus, well his mates literally lowered him through the roof so that he could see Him.

    some advice with depression, try and spend time in the sun Vitamin D is essential. Don't stay in the dark, its depressing!
     
  4. BeStill&Know

    BeStill&Know Let HIS WORD Only take root and dwell within YOU Supporter

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    Son, hang on. Hang on to your Lord as tightly as you can.
    Its very difficult in some situations, like ours, to make really good sincere friends, like the ones your heart is anxious for. In the meantime while you wait on the Lord's answers, are their any changes to your appearance you can modify?
    When I was a young women first attending Church, I was very blind to the way I dressed, and how it was a negative influence on how other behaved towards me.
    This would of course depend on the type of Church you attend !?!
    As a Christian you are no longer you own, but you belong to
    Jesus now, that you accepted Him as Lord and Savior.
    As your best friend, Jesus will help and guide you towards any changes that need to be made. Bless you


    Be sure to ask in every case for the Lord to bring to you His children
     
  5. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    Thanks.

    I don't understand it either, but it isn't really forced now in that kind of sense, because I haven't asked in 3 years.
    When I was 9 I recognized the problem, and realized I needed to go to school, or do something. I was told to wait until high school (14)
    So I did, it was tough, but the day finally came, and I was told no. They built me up so much, then knocked me down, and the fall near bout killed me.
    For 2 years I was in a hopeless depression, nothing was going to pull me out of it, then I turned 16, and around feb of 2016, I really started getting into faith, and I've been addicted to it since (didn't become a Professing Christian until like july or august of last year though)
    But I'm rounding about that corner again.

    So the homeschooling was always forced, but my siblings were given a choice to either go or stay homeschooled, they all chose homeschool, because it suits them. I was explicitly told, by my Father, that I was forced to stay, and they were given a choice.
    When I ask why, I get no answer.

    And if there are decent people my age, they do a good job hiding.

    I didn't mean to suggest that internet friendships do not help, they do, tremendously. During my situation (not that I'd drop them once I got out), I don't see a reason we cannot be friends.

    What I need is a way out, an absolute way out, or at least something to cling onto to keep me afloat long enough to get out naturally.
    I'm half venting really, I guess you'd say, typing it out, and discussing it helps me wrap my head around things, and helps me decide my next move.
     
  6. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    Thanks.

    My Father forced me, and was supported by my Mother.
    I really schooled myself, everything I know is self taught, I don't want to make them out as bad people, they're not. They just messed up with me, I think they know it, and it's too late to reverse it, the damage is done.

    I can play some piano, I used to write poetry (though not very good), and the only hobby I have now is theology, I study it everyday, for hours on end.

    There's no place near that would do what I like to do, the churches bible study is more like an argument group. I'm right, and you're wrong, type of deal, instead of studying what it actually says.
    And I don't trust anyone enough to carpool, and my folks cannot drive me, because work schedule doesn't add up.

    I am grounded at home, there's no way that I can see to get out.
    My current living situation, basically, I go to sleep, at whatever time, wake up, and repeat the same day over, and over, and over again, ever seen groundhog day?
    I get up, go nowhere, do nothing, then go to bed again.
    When I say do nothing, I mean anything that would help my mental state, I learn constantly.

    I've always been homeschooled, and I do not understand why I couldn't attend homeschool stuff either, they mainly meet on the weekends, my folks are off on the weekends.
    They're mainly christian organizations, which is in line with the family belief.
    There's no reason that I can see that would keep me from them.

    And I do know Jesus, I know that my suffering now, is not forever, and that someday I will be forever happy, with him in Heaven.
    It's just, right now, here on earth, I feel lousy, and I don't much like it, so I'm trying to change it.
    And I've prayed for it to end, or atleast give me a reason as to why I have to be where I am.

    I wanna be perfectly clear, I came to God, and the faith of Christianity, through my suffering, out of my own free will. I would not change one thing that happened, if it means that I don't end up with God.
    Instant gratification, and an eternity of hell.
    Or eternal joy and happiness that I have to wait 80 or so years for.
    I can wait, I haven't got anything planned :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017
  7. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    Do you like to read? Are you close to a library. Maybe you can find some people there to talk to. Have you practiced introducing yourself
    to others? Take me...you could say hi... my name is and I'm kind of new around here. Would you tell me where to... They may already know you love Jesus Christ, so tell them things you enjoy. If you like sports...pizza...or anything like that to keep the conversation going. Ask if the person saw the game? You could wear something that causes people to notice you more. For ladies...me...sequence hats that sparkle...fancy socks. People lots of times have commented as to my socks, even yelled from cars. Do something that others like to watch. Be helpful...open doors for others...put their shopping cart back for them. Be silly sometimes. Kids have asked me, are you a grown
    up. Just be yourself and find opportunities for quick conversations where you meet someone briefly, then let that experience help build up your confidence.
     
  8. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    Thanks.

    And I'll prolly get over it, in a couple months or so, I usually do, but I'd just like it to stop all together.

    Nothing I can really do to change my appearance, I mean, I don't dress offensively, I wear a plaid shirt and jeans.
    And as for my face, I'm just unfortunately weird lookin, my resting expression looks violent, I can't help it, it's just the way my face is.
    Even though I'd like to think I'm a nice guy, people unfortunately make judgements based on looks.
    I look like this, have a big scar on my neck (from my cat devlish little thing), and a twitch in my right shoulder, I look nuts.
    I'd post pictures, but, I don't really feel all too comfortable doing that.

    I will continue to trust in the Lord, no matter how bad it gets.
    And he does help me, in reading the bible, I now understand things I didn't before, I'm kinder, more patient (Yea I know, the irony of me saying I'm patient on a thread based on my impatience), all around a better person, because of Jesus, any good that is in me, I would attribute to the Holy Spirit.
     
  9. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    When I try to do these things, I freeze.
    I don't know why I just do.

    I still try to do them though, and I've succeeded a few times, in making brief small talk with people. But so far it hasn't really done anything.
     
  10. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    When you speak to someone, such as offering to put their cart back, do you
    complement them or speak to the child? Ex. You pushed that cart by yourself? You sure are helpful. or It is getting windy out here, may I return your cart
    for you? Show that you take the time to notice others and want to better their
    day.
    Good. You might have cheered them up and that will help you too. Smile and
    laugh as there is a whole world to enjoy. Do you have a bike?
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017
  11. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    Good. You might have cheered them up and that will help you too. Smile and
    laugh as there is a whole world to enjoy. Do you have a bike?[/QUOTE]
    No bike.
    The one main thing I try to do for people, is give them a story, or a funny anecdote.
    I have a pretty good range of voices, so what I'll do, is anything that I do work up the courage to say to people, like the cashier, or whatever.
    I'll say it like mr burns, from the simpsons, or mickey mouse, or someone that people would recognize.
    And I think I do these impressions pretty good, they do laugh, and smile. I have done this a total of 3 times.
    Sometimes, I can't explain it, it's like I'm not even the one speaking really, because in my head I'm like, wow, why am I being so articulate, and coherent right now?

    The best thing that I can see to do, to help people, is spread the word of God. That is the only time I feel content, or any amount of happiness.
    Because when I die, if I can say that I have made a difference in someones life, a positive difference, by showing them God, and the good news of the gospel. I can die, knowing that my life was not in vain.

    I don't mean to imply I save people, I don't, God does. I will give them the facts, and they will make a choice to go to God, and then God will work in them, and save them ( I know it's offtopic, but I felt it was right to say)

    And no, I don't speak much. There are days where I don't speak a vocal word, at all.

    Things are always worst, in the moment. The idea here is, for me to eventually move on or fix the problem I have.
    Without going insane.
    I will continue to do the things, as you've said, and who knows, maybe tomorrow things will be extremely different.
    I have not lived very long, but already I can see that lives change overnight sometimes, mine did, when I found out about Jesus.

    A new question arises, how do I remain sane?
    I have a possible fix for the problem, which you have provided, I've never thought about returning peoples buggys, or talking to people at a library (No libraries around though, so I'd have to get driven, and the ones that are around, their hours are so funky it's hard to tell when they're open).
    So in the process of trying to fix it, I will retain some form of sanity. But in the event that the fixing, does not work, I need a fail safe.

    So, worst case scenario, doing these things does not fix the problem, within a reasonable amount of time, I start slipping mentally again.

    What then, do I do to remain sane?

    I apologize for being grammatically incoherent, I'm not a scholar.
    I also have ADD, so I tend to ramble a lot, and repeat points.
     
  12. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    I also exhibit symptoms of autism, which would explain the severity of my social anxiety.
     
  13. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017 at 5:09 PM
  14. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    On regards to witnessing, I say a lot. I've yet to witness to a real life person though. It's always been on the internet.

    I've always given them something new, they say. Even the ones that are initially jerks, eventually admit that what I'm saying is true.
    You can't dismiss something, that is logically and rationally sound, and backed up by science, that is the opposite of reason.
    But that's another topic.

    I actually would like to write a book, on theology, the legitimacy of the Bible, and the truth that God exist.
    I realize that it'd just net me a lot of hate.
    John 15:18 If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first
    Could prolly trick myself into doing that, next time I go out, I'll look for an opportunity.
    Thanks.
     
  15. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017 at 5:07 PM
  16. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    Well what I meant was, a person physically, or vocally, it's all been through text.
     
  17. yuppers

    yuppers Newbie

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    I have also been in a similar state of hopelessness as you have described. So I can give you a bit of advice based on my own life experience. Please don't give up! It can get better! You might have to be patient for a little longer though before things become better. It will be worth it though! It's important that you are actually seeing what the problem is in your life. Now you can take action in starting to overcome those hurdles. Do you have a job? Are you making some kind of income? If you don't that can be a good step forward to get one. For a few reasons: you can talk with coworkers, you can save for a car, you can save for your own house/apartment. Maybe think about talking with a pastor or youth leader at the church you're going to. Let them know that you are struggling a bit. If it's a good church they should be able to help you feel more welcomed. Don't give up on going to your young adults. Even if you feel like a serial killer in the corner go every week. Make sure to make as best of an effort to be friendly. If you keep going regularly and are friendly slowly people will start to notice you more and might feel more comfortable talking with you. Just a few quick tips. I hope that helps a bit :). I'll pray for you.
     
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  18. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017 at 5:10 PM
  19. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017 at 5:11 PM
  20. Goodbook

    Goodbook Reading the Bible

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    Did you get out in the sun?
    Sorry..just like to know if you do.
    It really helps. When Anne Frank was stuck in the annexe, she would write in her diary...that being able to see the blue sky and trees was precious to her.

    Remember Paul was in prison a lot and wrote half the new testament in letters. So its great you are writing. Writers do need solitude - to gather their thoughts and to write uninterrupted. Can you imagine working in a customer service job and always dealing with people, never getting a chance to sit down and think? So think of it as a blessing and a period of study...it won't always be like this. Paul suffered much and God allowed it because it was for His glory -

    Check out Voice of the Martyrs if you can write to them who are actually imprisoned and persecuted for their faith in much worse living conditions...then your complaints are less in comparison. It won't always be like this.

    Parents want whats best for you even if it doesn't fit what you want...recognise they have faults but take up your worries with your Heavenly Father as he knows just what you need before you ask Him.

    And when I was in a dark place music helped. Remember Paul was in chains, he kept singing hymns and praises to God - the angels broke the chains and they were set free.