What now?

[Wol]

Well... Here I am in my 60s. I've always known that I am rather strongly introverted, but perhaps there is more there than I realized.

I read Jennifer Grimes' master's thesis which hypothesizes that introversion is actually part of the same continuum that encompasses Asperger's syndrome and autism. (An interesting idea, btw.) Anyway, I took a couple of these online quizzes and found that I scored well into the Asperger's/High-Functioning-Autism range. (Heh. Being neurotypical is vastly overrated, in my opinion.

OK. If this is true, it might explain some things but I am rather at a loss to know what (if anything) is actually actionable here.

I've worked in IT for the last 30 years or so, and I HATE it. (Actually, dealing with the computers isn't too bad but dealing with clueless managers and demanding users is horrible.) I need to earn a living and I don't know anything else that pays nearly as well, so I really cannot quit. I really try to remember to be thankful to God that I have a job, but I confess sometimes it is hard. If I can hang on just a little while longer, retirement is coming. (Of course it remains to be seen whether that will represent any improvement.)

I am a Christian, though some folks have trouble believing that as I don't regularly attend church.

Churches, I think, are generally run by gregarious extroverted people who cannot understand and have no patience with someone who is NOT a "people person". The music is way TOO LOUD and the mandatory greeting (grab you) sessions are offensive and obnoxious. (It actually is not possible to have any kind of meaningful conversation with eight people in two minutes. This is a complete counterfeit of "fellowship".)
Anyway, church is at least as unpleasant as work but there is not even the benefit of a salary, so generally I avoid the extreme unpleasantness and just don't go. It's much easier on my blood pressure.

So do I have Asperger's syndrome? Perhaps.

But what do I DO with that???

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Wol,
Welcome to CF.
That is a very interesting theory that introverts are on the spectrum. I was diagnoced as being on the spectrum but the online test say I was just a bit more NT than SP.
I have spent most of my life learning to be more outgoing and comfortable in public and learning how to be a good friend, often taking the initative with us talking or getting together.
Looking back most of my life has been countering my shyness and learning to express myself. I realized one of the reasons my wife divorced me was my wife didn't really know who I was because I never told her. So I started planning to reveal myself to the people I was friends with as well as any GF I have.

 

[grandvizier1006]

As much as I would love to complain about annoying extroverts, I think the best thing to do is hold your nose, swallow your pride (not saying you're proud, but a sense of "I'm a sinner and so are they" might help) and just try and connect with some of these people. Just tell them politely as possible that you don't like certain things (unless they have a child with Asperger's then they won't be able to grasp the concept), and offer up whatever knowledge you have. There are plenty of positions designed for introverted people in church, they're just not what most people have in mind.

 

[1watchman]

Well, I disagree with the idea that Introversion has some involvement with Autism or Aspergers conditions (the word should not be confused with shyness or timidity or limitations). Introversion and Extroversion as a study (from Dr. Carl Gustav Jung in circa 1800s) is about value systems in all mankind. My studies through the years has shown me that the Autism syndrome is as described in the introduction to this CF section and is physiological rather than psychological.

Aspies (common ref. for Aspergers) can make a significant contribution to life by their uncluttered intellectual approach to things ---being somewhat remote from emotionality. I would say that in the Christian realm they need to take God at His Word in the Bible and not listen to the rationale of so many professing Christians ---and actually that should be true of all of us I believe.

 

[timf]

So do I have Asperger's syndrome? Perhaps. But what do I DO with that???

I also came to understand that I had Aspergers in my 60s.

I do not see Aspergers as ASD regardless of the so-called experts.

I see traditional autism as related to significant brain damage. In the 1930s and 40s there were autopsies performed on children who died that had severe autism and they found significant structural abnormalities.

In the 1966 Sam Clements a Phd at the University of Arkansas was hired as a consultant by the Health Education and Welfare department and funded by the Easter Seal Foundation to write a report about why some children do not do well in school.

His report speculated that the reason was that there was some as yet indiscernable brain damage that caused this result. He called it "Minimal Brain Dysfunction". In the 1970s they started to called it hyperactivity and has come down to us today as ADHD.

I see that some people have different neurological sensing and processing characteristics than others. This can result in a greater sensitivity to things like smells, sounds, sights, and touch. It can also result in a higher IQ than average. These people might also have a more difficult time in processing the banter in many social situations or even find such situations of little interest.

It is interesting that this process started by thinking that non-normative action must be pathological. Consideration never seems to have been given to the concept that forcing everyone into one system (public school) would produce problems for those less well suited to the system.

For most of us the realization that we might be accurately called Aspergers doesn't really change anything. In work environments which are increasingly collectivized, the guy with Aspergers will do all the work while everyone else either takes credit or criticizes (or both).

By the time you get to your 60s, you already know what you are like and what other people are like. You have already figured out strategies to help you avoid uncomfortable social situations and concentrate on those activities you enjoy.

For Christians there is a benefit that more neuro-typical people may not enjoy, that of clarity in discernment. People with Aspergers are often said not to suffer fools readily. This is because heightened neurological processing can allow us to see with both focus and clarity that often appears to others as befuddlement.

When I was stationed in Germany in the Army some friends took me out to a bar. A girl came over and sat down beside me and asked me if I wanted to by her some champagne. I was puzzled and asked, "Why would I want to do that?", I later was able to understand the economics of the situation where the bar owner would hire attractive young girls to approach GIs and those who were lonely or hopeful would purchase over-priced drinks. However, this practice does not work as seamlessly on those for whom the situation was more puzzling.

Just as those who are tall or young have attributes that have both positive and negative characteristics, Apsergers also can bee seen to provide advantages and disadvantages. I for one do not wish to be more normal. I understand that there are others who feel strongly that these differences have hurt them.

There is an entire industry built up around defining pathology based on behavior. I try to avoid these people and live as best as I can away from those who would try to "fix" me. It can be interesting to look at a web site like wrongplanet.com. However, I do not feel that I need to be obsessive about the subject, as the Lord has given me other areas in which to minister.

 

[NIrelandGillian]

Well... Here I am in my 60s. I've always known that I am rather strongly introverted, but perhaps there is more there than I realized.

I read Jennifer Grimes' master's thesis which hypothesizes that introversion is actually part of the same continuum that encompasses Asperger's syndrome and autism. (An interesting idea, btw.) Anyway, I took a couple of these online quizzes and found that I scored well into the Asperger's/High-Functioning-Autism range. (Heh. Being neurotypical is vastly overrated, in my opinion.

OK. If this is true, it might explain some things but I am rather at a loss to know what (if anything) is actually actionable here.

I've worked in IT for the last 30 years or so, and I HATE it. (Actually, dealing with the computers isn't too bad but dealing with clueless managers and demanding users is horrible.) I need to earn a living and I don't know anything else that pays nearly as well, so I really cannot quit. I really try to remember to be thankful to God that I have a job, but I confess sometimes it is hard. If I can hang on just a little while longer, retirement is coming. (Of course it remains to be seen whether that will represent any improvement.)

I am a Christian, though some folks have trouble believing that as I don't regularly attend church.

Churches, I think, are generally run by gregarious extroverted people who cannot understand and have no patience with someone who is NOT a "people person". The music is way TOO LOUD and the mandatory greeting (grab you) sessions are offensive and obnoxious. (It actually is not possible to have any kind of meaningful conversation with eight people in two minutes. This is a complete counterfeit of "fellowship".)
Anyway, church is at least as unpleasant as work but there is not even the benefit of a salary, so generally I avoid the extreme unpleasantness and just don't go. It's much easier on my blood pressure.

So do I have Asperger's syndrome? Perhaps.

But what do I DO with that???

Not everyone in church leadership is gregarious or extroverted. Perhaps the people you've had experience with in church were not aware that you found the greeting times and the fellowship times to be obnoxious and thought that they were actually being friendly and pleasant. It is a pity that you felt that you could no longer go to that church, as every member of the body is important to the body as a whole. Try praying for those people at work and at church who get on your nerves!

Gillian

 

[dayhiker]

I love to hugs and greet people at church. But I know some don't like that. I think it would be good for church to teach an practice where a person could cross their hands over their chest and that would mean they aren't in a place to hug.

 

[NIrelandGillian]

I love to hugs and greet people at church. But I know some don't like that. I think it would be good for church to teach an practice where a person could cross their hands over their chest and that would mean they aren't in a place to hug.

It would be good to have an alternative to the 'Greet one another with a holy kiss' command for such people, but whatever you would do, you'd have to do it without them feeling embarrassed or drawing attention to them.

Gillian