what keeps you from being bitter... ?

[Far Side Of the Moon]

What keeps you trusting in god despite your illness

 

[orangeness365]

I have schizophrenia and depression. I guess I'm kind of bitter and sad about having it, but I tell myself that God is love and that being with him in the afterlife is more important than my schizophrenia or depression. I also remind myself of how much Jesus suffered in this life even though he didn't have to come at all, and I realize that my suffering doesn't compare to his suffering. I keep hoping that God will heal me of it, but I'm not willing to go off my meds to find out whether it's gone or not. I'm thankful for the meds and hopeful that someday I'll recover and have a job, even if I probably will still be living with my parents into old age, won't get married, and I have decided since getting schizophrenia that I'm definitely not having kids. I feel like I'm a failure according to the world and as Christian, but I'm also comforted by the belief that God understands my struggles, and will forgive me of my sins. I'm comforted by the belief that God won't condemn me for not being successful. I remind myself that my life could have been much worse, although honestly my whole life feels like it's been really hard. I'll be honest, when I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia and recovered enough from being on meds to come back into my right mind, I just wanted to end it. I ended up in a mental hospital for wanting to commit suicide, and went to an outpatient program for it too. For a while I felt better and wasn't as critical of myself and didn't think about suicide as much, but after a few months, the suicidal feelings came back and I struggle with thinking about it every day now. I don't think I'm going to act on it, but the thoughts are definitely there. I try to trust God but I still struggle with it when I drive a car. I trust God to try to save everyone, but I don't think He prevents people from suffering in this life.

 

[jaxis]

I have schizophrenia schizoaffective bipolar type today my first day stable in five months of a psychotic break. Jesus got me threw it I repented of so much sin then started playing around with my meds. It led to a four day hospitalization in a psychward which is good because the other 15 times I have been hospitalized were against my will because I was so ill . I would stay two weeks or more get put in four and five point restraints up yo 18 hours. Threw it all my faith gets stronger but I admit depression is the worse. But I'm depression free. But I admit sometimes I get so over whelmed with self pity and depression because I also have fibromyalgia I'm in a lot of pain but our Savior no of more pain then anybody ever. So ABBA FATHER thank you for your Son and COMFORTER the Holy Spirit that's why I keep trusting because if my minds right I feel over whelmed by GOD Love,

 

[frettr00]

God's grace gave me the faith I needed to get through the worst of it.

 

[Soyeong]

What keeps you trusting in god despite your illness

The only thing that keeps us from being bitter is forgiveness.