- Oct 10, 2011
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- Celibate
Ye must be born again. This is the prerequisite, without this we are none of His.
Being "born again" first means dying to self right?
I told my ex-wife about in the way that I Loved her, and she still didn't care, anyways I explained to her that, "I laid myself down for you, all for you, I set aside my my pride, my ego, my sense of self, my identity, everything all for you, all to try and help your deeply troubled, poor beaten down and broken, abused soul, and endured all your malicious, vile,violent and abusive treatment (of me) and forgave you daily and never held any of it against you...
Everytime I spoke to you I searched the deepest part of myself to find ways to right words to "help" you (to edify you, to build you, to try and get you out of your misery and suffering that was causing you to act in such a way, In fact I exerted myself so much doing this that it exhausted me and drained my soul to the point of feeling dead (Is this what it means to die to self) Anyways, then I told her, If that's not Love then I don't know what is, Because she was questioning my Love for her because I think she was searching for an emotional response.
But I ask you about Love, "Is Love an emotion or an act?" In one popular Star Trek episode Data was asked if he had ever experienced Love, and he answered "the act or the emotion?" And the Guy responded to Data, "there the same thing.' To which Data replied "I do not believe that to be true sir." To which the man responded "maybe?" then their conversation went somewhere else.
Anyways my point being my ex-wife was a highly emotional, and was knowing the emotion of Love, roller coaster, and I was like rock, or she was like fire, and I was like Ice, or it was like she depended highly on her emotions and instincts, feelings and intuitions, whereas I was depending on logic and reason and senseability, and the "acts" (actions) of Love, she was the emotion. I relied on my head, whereas she trusted her heart, needless to say it was very hard for us to see eye to eye.
But I ask you all, in your opinions is "agape" love, the act, or the emotion?
I think I laid myself down to the point of death out of Love for my wife, (and I was doing it for myself and Christ too) Because I was trying to follow in his footsteps, his example and teachings about Love, but I have never been a highly emotional person and sometimes I wonder about myself if I can ever really even truly love at all (except through actions) But I miss the emotion, the feeling of Love, and I long for it, but I don't trust my own heart sometimes, feeling it, means the positive and negative, and I don't want to use the negative with people and hurt them, what do I do?
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