What does it mean to be "the man in the relationship"?

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

Browsing profiles on internet dating sites I have more than a few times seen a woman saying that she is looking for someone who will be "the man in the relationship".

 

[Nom De Guerre]

lol, well, I assume this means that you should be a man and not an overgrown teenage boy trapped in an adult body... but if you're looking for precise examples, I imagine that means you should be patient, loving, caring, a leader... the more common things ladies look for at any age.

 

[Fremdin]

I had an inappropriate answer for this, surprise surprise, but my honest answer is that it means the dominant partner who provides emotional, financial and other support for the other partner and it's the one who is most in charge. It's annoying and unfair thing to want in my opinion. It undermines everyone to me, men and women.

 

[Fremdin]

lol, well, I assume this means that you should be a man and not an overgrown teenage boy trapped in an adult body... but if you're looking for precise examples, I imagine that means you should be patient, loving, caring, a leader... the more common things ladies look for at any age.

it's funny how differently we view this, I wonder if it has to do with our gender or something else?

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I don't think it has to do with gender, cynicism perhaps? Though, if you do see the examples both of us laid out, I think we're pretty close to each other's examples as well

 

[Fremdin]

I don't think it has to do with gender, cynicism perhaps? Though, if you do see the examples both of us laid out, I think we're pretty close to each other's examples as well

Yeah, I'm shocked how cynical my response when looking at yours. They are similar but your is about taking pride in supporting another person and mine is leaching off another's support, but I bet they'd be the same couple.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Yeah, it's a two-way street; well, a healthy relationship really is anyway. The leeching kind gets old pretty quickly and doesn't have a foundation to stand-upon, probably why there are over 50% of the marriages going down the tubes...

 

[SullivanZ]

I can't answer for anyone who put that, but logic would tell us that it's the stereotypical male-ness that we see and hear about in the media; the guy who is a leader, a take charge, no-nonsense guy, who is decisive, strong, stable and secure. Someone not prone to emotional crying spells, passivity, indecision or all around "wussiness". That's the stereotypical view. If they mean something else, well, why don't you ask them yourself and see? Could lead to a nice opening for you.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

So here's a couple of questions fremdin: Why the cynicism? I mean I can reach for my own conclusions, but I think this would be much more interesting. How did you reach your decision on what a 'man' should, or shouldn't, be in a relationship?

 

[Fremdin]

So here's a question fremdin: Why the cynicism? I mean I can reach for my own conclusions, but I think this would be much more interesting. How did you reach your decision on what a 'man' should, or shouldn't, be in a relationship?

It's not about what a man should be, it's about what a woman shouldn't be. But I totally want to hear your conclusions about why I'm so cynical, I'm incapable about being honest about myself when it comes to men sometimes.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

It's not about what a man should be, it's about what a woman shouldn't be. But I totally want to hear your conclusions about why I'm so cynical, I'm incapable about being honest about myself when it comes to men sometimes.

Well, it all started back in 1995, and the sun was shinning I believe; you were walking through your school yard and the boy you happened to like was sitting on a play structure... my guess is that he said or did something to you which created a redundancy which has caused your cynicism. Yes... quite... I rather like that.

No, to be honest, seems like you've probably encountered enough cynicism that you seemed to have agreed with it; who knows, maybe a past possible relationship played a role in your deliberations. I'm sure I could hypothesize for awhile, which isn't exactly sharing much of anything new to me... hence why I asked you

 

[Fremdin]

Well, it all started back in 1995, and the sun was shinning I believe; you were walking through your school yard and the boy you happened to like was sitting on a play structure... my guess is that he said or did something to you which created a redundancy which has caused your cynicism. Yes... quite... I rather like that.

No, to be honest, seems like you've probably encountered enough cynicism that you seemed to have agreed with; who knows, maybe a past possible relationship played a role in your deliberations. I'm sure I could hypothesize for awhile, which isn't exactly sharing much of anything new to me... hence why I asked you

I like that story, it made me try and think who I liked in 1995... I can not remember ( actually I can, I still love you Mike Hemmerick!) Though he was never redundant, only glorious and rebellious. He ran away from school. Anyway.
I don't know where my cynicism comes from, I'll think about it and get back to you

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

If they mean something else, well, why don't you ask them yourself and see? Could lead to a nice opening for you.

I will as soon as you provide payment for a subscription to the service.

Can I be "the man in the relationship" if I am unemployed and broke?

 

[The Julikenz]

I was talking to my interest today about this, and we agreed I will NOT be 'the man' in the relationship. I like my dresses too much.

 

[MacFall]

It means a man who will break her tragic habit of wearing shoes and leaving the kitchen, without leaving indiscreet bruises.







...Okay, really - I have no idea. The statement seems kind of silly to me.

 

[Wren]

I can't answer for anyone who put that, but logic would tell us that it's the stereotypical male-ness that we see and hear about in the media; the guy who is a leader, a take charge, no-nonsense guy, who is decisive, strong, stable and secure. Someone not prone to emotional crying spells, passivity, indecision or all around "wussiness". That's the stereotypical view.

That's what I was thinking...basically the same as the whole "who wears the pants in the family" about who is in charge.

 

[BranwenUerchLlyr]

If "being the man" is being responsible, kind, strong, calm/collected, then what does "being the woman" imply? I hope any woman asking for a 'real man' expects nothing less from herself, otherwise she's looking for a crutch.

In general, masculinity is defined as possessing positive human traits--strength, assertiveness, honor, competence, confidence, etc. Femininity is defined as whatever good traits are left over, a lot of bad traits, and a lot of traits that are watered down versions of masculine traits. I'd prefer we would abandon this gender distinction in favor of embracing traits that make a person a good human being.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Blind post: it means don't be a sissy or a little boy.

 

[penNpaper]

Browsing profiles on internet dating sites I have more than a few times seen a woman saying that she is looking for someone who will be "the man in the relationship".

Pretty much be the Leader of the Relationship...to have some *ahem* and not be some sort of wimp lol

I dunno lol

God Bless,
Drew

 

[crishmael]

I think being the man means you're the one who gets to walk around without a shirt.

I'm sorry, I had to let out at least one inappropriate comment. Forgive me!