What do you think about hypnosis?

[cloudyday2]

I have been talking to a therapist for about a year and this Thursday she would like to try hypnosis. I've been trying to decide if I want to do that. I hope this is not off-topic, but it kind of relates to Christianity. Also if people have read my other thread they will see I've been through some strange things that add to my worries about hypnosis.

My brother and I are partners in the family business, so we see each other every day. I feel an irrational anger whenever I see him and that turns into depression and hopelessness. For example, I can be feeling fine until I glance and see him somewhere and then I feel anger that quickly turns into depression and then I start fantasizing about suicide. I would never commit suicide, but it isn't a happy state. Also I'm sure this wears on my brother - even though he is very understanding about my problem.

I realized it has to do with an idea that being happy and content or seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty would make me a failure... but if I am unhappy with my situation then that keeps me from being a failure. Obviously this is a silly idea, but it is something I learned by watching my father and he learned it from his father and on back.

So, unfortunately I think my brother is a symbol of my own feeling of being a failure and a loser. Whenever I see him it is like somebody saying, "in case you forgot, cloudyday, you are a loser and you are trapped and doomed to be a loser until you die. Have a nice day."

As an example of how extreme this is. My father had cancer and was too sick to work (that's why I am now my brother's business partner). When he did have a brief remission before he died, my father couldn't allow himself to enjoy a vacation or to collect disability he was entitled to collect - because that would make him a failure in his own self image. He joined a gym and tried to get back in shape so he could get a job in Iraq working for Halliburton. That's a really absurd idea for somebody who just crawled out of his death bed, but is shows how extreme this feeling runs in my family. Realizing it came from my father makes me feel better, because I admire my father and that helps me understand myself.

So that's my problem. When I was attending church I was hoping that God would fix it, and that is mainly why I gradually gave up on God. I've got to do something about it, but knowing that doesn't give me a solution.

This is partly why I've been interested in Buddhism and meditation.

 

[drich0150]

To me it sounds like a pride issue. Pride in who you think you should be in relation to your brother, and a deep resentment that your brother is doing better than you think he should be, in relation to your sitution. I do not think hypnosis will help. Why because hypnosis typlically realses the conscoiusness effort or barrier that is keeping you from realizing a subconsious desire. Your problem is oppsite of that. consciously you want to be free from anger and depression, but subconsciously you harbor unresolved anger and jelousy towards your brother.

God can not free you from this prision you have created for yourself, because you have willed the parameters of your prision, through your personal disgust and disastfaction in life. In short your pride has demanded that you be more sucessful (in whatever way) than your brother. God in order to free you must take your pride or break you of it. eitherway you must ask seek and knock of your own free will before God helps you with this. He won't just take your free will from you.

Buddhism (I grew up in a buddhist house hold) is not the answer either. For it will only address the symptom and not the root cause. In that you 'focous' will be redirected to obtain a state of peace or silence your mind. this does not resolve anything it just has you repioritize your life to seek inner peace above any and all other things. That is why true buddhists must take a vow of poverty because such a persuit will indeed impoverish the piligram. If you do not plan to follow "the Path" to that end you will only find more disapointment.

Your only hope is to ask seek and knock for TRUE Humility. Ask God to humble you no matter what it takes and you will find the peace you want. Remember to keep asking till you get what you want.

(If you do this hang on to something because you maybe in for a ride depending on the state of your heart)

 

[cloudyday2]

To me it sounds like a pride issue. Pride in who you think you should be in relation to your brother, and a deep resentment that your brother is doing better than you think he should be, in relation to your sitution. I do not think hypnosis will help. Why because hypnosis typlically realses the conscoiusness effort or barrier that is keeping you from realizing a subconsious desire. Your problem is oppsite of that. consciously you want to be free from anger and depression, but subconsciously you harbor unresolved anger and jelousy towards your brother.

You might be right about pride and jealousy. That is a problem, but I'm not sure if it is the whole problem. What you said about hypnosis seems opposite to what I thought, so I'm interested to understand that better. I have been trying to learn about hypnosis, but I don't know much yet.

Your only hope is to ask seek and knock for TRUE Humility. Ask God to humble you no matter what it takes and you will find the peace you want. Remember to keep asking till you get what you want.

(If you do this hang on to something because you maybe in for a ride depending on the state of your heart)

I really thought I tried. I prayed and prayed and prayed about this, but maybe I had the wrong motivations. I'm going to reread your post later and try to understand what you said better.

 

[salida]

God doesn't fix things your way. Hypnosis doesn't have anything to do with christianity but its about a relationship with Christ.

Are you a good person? The Good Test

 

[drich0150]

I really thought I tried. I prayed and prayed and prayed about this, but maybe I had the wrong motivations. I'm going to reread your post later and try to understand what you said better.

Praying is only apart of the equasion. It is the Ask. To Seek we must seek out people who will help identify the specific areas of pride and jeleousy in our lives and help hold us accountable to change.

 

[RaiseTheDead]

My Sister is a PhD, in psychology, and has been active in the main organization of psychologists using hypnotherapy, working towards licensing it, and educating the public about the fact that many self-labeled "hypno-therapists" were actually psychologists that LOST THEIR LICENSE.

Bottom line:

if you trust your therapist, you should have no problems with this. I would suggest Christian counseling first, along the lines of what has been said in this thread; but you could also do both. Our mind indeed works with images and relationships, and you have very powerful ones involved here!

 

[food4thought]

DRich is basically right here. I would disagree on his application of the ask, seek, knock teaching of Jesus... I believe that we need to ask God for help, seek God's face in prayer, and knock at heaven's door for our needs. But that is immaterial to what he was suggesting you do, as there is ample teching in Scripture that calls us to come together as believers for edifying each other as well as corporate service.

The issue is pride... pride as it is described biblically is essentially wanting our own way over God's way. God wants you to humble yourself and come to Him, we want God to "jump through hoops" in order for us to accept Him. Guess who wins the battle of wills between God and man

In your case, your pride seems to be intertwined with low self esteem, meaning you accept that you are not "all that and a bag of chips", and feel deprived of having greater success like your brother. Pride is a fundamental sin, leading to all kinds of others. In this case, it led to envy of your brother, and "coveting" what he has in some way.

The cure is to stop comparing yourself to others, and allow yourself to be compared to God (see the link to "the good test" that someone else posted above). It is when we understand that God's standard is perfection, not just good enough as we understand it, that our pride can be broken. This can be a somewhat dangerous situation for those like us who struggle with low self esteem, as unless we are willing to allow Jesus to pick us up we can sometimes descend into apathy. God offers us the opportunity to die to ourselves and be born again with a new nature that is empowered by the Holy Spirit to do what we cannot, but our pride must be broken and our desire must be to follow God's Spirit, not our own selfish desires.

Sorry, but I really know next to nothing about hypnotism... I would suggest caution since being hypnotized puts you in a very impressionable state.

 

[cloudyday2]

My Sister is a PhD, in psychology, and has been active in the main organization of psychologists using hypnotherapy, working towards licensing it, and educating the public about the fact that many self-labeled "hypno-therapists" were actually psychologists that LOST THEIR LICENSE.

Bottom line:

if you trust your therapist, you should have no problems with this. I would suggest Christian counseling first, along the lines of what has been said in this thread; but you could also do both. Our mind indeed works with images and relationships, and you have very powerful ones involved here!

Thanks, you hit on one of my concerns - I'm not sure I trust this therapist enough to let her hypnotise me. She said she doesn't do hypnosis very often, so I'm not sure about her skill. Also I don't know that I trust anybody enough to trick my brain into changing it's behaviour.

My sister's husband is a hypnotist in another state, so I've thought about asking him to hypnotize me. I'm going to get his advice on this too. (My sister said he lost a lot of weight after only a few months of practice, because most of his clients are trying to lose weight. Apparently the hypnotic suggestions work on the hypnotist too. )

 

[RaiseTheDead]

pride as it is described biblically is essentially wanting our own way over God's way. God wants you to humble yourself and come to Him, we want God to "jump through hoops" in order for us to accept Him.

Pride is a fundamental sin

It is when we understand that God's standard is perfection, not just good enough as we understand it, that our pride can be broken. This can be a somewhat dangerous situation for those like us who struggle with low self esteem, as unless we are willing to allow Jesus to pick us up we can sometimes descend into apathy. God offers us the opportunity to die to ourselves and be born again with a new nature that is empowered by the Holy Spirit to do what we cannot, but our pride must be broken and our desire must be to follow God's Spirit, not our own selfish desires.

While I have no idea how applicable this may be to the OP's situation, (or not, he needs to search his heart and be honest with himself)

this is a VERY good summary, showing a good understanding of the Gospel.

 

[RaiseTheDead]

Thanks, you hit on one of my concerns - I'm not sure I trust this therapist enough to let her hypnotise me. She said she doesn't do hypnosis very often, so I'm not sure about her skill. Also I don't know that I trust anybody enough to trick my brain into changing it's behaviour.

Then DO NOT do it!

Next up: how often any individual does or does not practice hypnosis, won't really affect your well-being. That has more to do with:

1) what is their motive? Do they want to help, or hurt?
2) Do they know you and your situation well enough to even have any chance of being helpful? And if both these conditions are met, which I think they probably are in the case of your current therapist,
3) Do they know what they're doing well enough to handle whatever they might encounter?

That last point is where accreditation comes in, that by achieving the status of a PhD, and being in good standing with their professional community, the answer should be "yes."

For whatever reason after a year of therapy with the same person you don't trust her to do this, what that probably means is you wouldn't be hypnotized by her efforts anyway. And some people simply "can't" be hypnotized. But back to my point #3, above - you really do bring out some very deep issues here. A person who is a hypnotist but not a PhD in psychotherapy, and not your therapist for quite some time, (such as your Brother in law you mentioned) could unknowingly wind up doing a LOT of damage.

 

[cloudyday2]

Then DO NOT do it!

Next up: how often any individual does or does not practice hypnosis, won't really affect your well-being. That has more to do with:

1) what is their motive? Do they want to help, or hurt?
2) Do they know you and your situation well enough to even have any chance of being helpful? And if both these conditions are met, which I think they probably are in the case of your current therapist,
3) Do they know what they're doing well enough to handle whatever they might encounter?

That last point is where accreditation comes in, that by achieving the status of a PhD, and being in good standing with their professional community, the answer should be "yes."

For whatever reason after a year of therapy with the same person you don't trust her to do this, what that probably means is you wouldn't be hypnotized by her efforts anyway. And some people simply "can't" be hypnotized. But back to my point #3, above - you really do bring out some very deep issues here. A person who is a hypnotist but not a PhD in psychotherapy, and not your therapist for quite some time, (such as your Brother in law you mentioned) could unknowingly wind up doing a LOT of damage.

Thanks, another thing that bothered me about hypnosis is that the therapist seemed a little bit too eager and pushy. Maybe she wants to solve the problem, but I also wonderif she wants to practice hypnosis on somebody so she can refresh her skills.

I have noticed that when I think about being hypnotised to remove these feelings I feel panicky. The idea of actually being happy in my situation makes me upset. I don't know if those feelings are coming from my subconscious or my conscious mind.

 

[RaiseTheDead]

Thanks, another thing that bothered me about hypnosis is that the therapist seemed a little bit too eager and pushy. Maybe she wants to solve the problem, but I also wonderif she wants to practice hypnosis on somebody so she can refresh her skills.

Yeah, I don't think that's why they refer to their business as a "practice" either

I have noticed that when I think about being hypnotised to remove these feelings I feel panicky. The idea of actually being happy in my situation makes me upset. I don't know if those feelings are coming from my subconscious or my conscious mind.

May I suggest, that this should be FIRST on your list of things to talk about next time you see your therapist?

I have known people that aren't happy unless they're miserable, or making someone else miserable. This would be an EXCELLENT thing to get to the bottom of!

 

[cloudyday2]

...
In your case, your pride seems to be intertwined with low self esteem, meaning you accept that you are not "all that and a bag of chips", and feel deprived of having greater success like your brother. Pride is a fundamental sin, leading to all kinds of others. In this case, it led to envy of your brother, and "coveting" what he has in some way.

The cure is to stop comparing yourself to others, and allow yourself to be compared to God (see the link to "the good test" that someone else posted above). It is when we understand that God's standard is perfection, not just good enough as we understand it, that our pride can be broken. This can be a somewhat dangerous situation for those like us who struggle with low self esteem, as unless we are willing to allow Jesus to pick us up we can sometimes descend into apathy. God offers us the opportunity to die to ourselves and be born again with a new nature that is empowered by the Holy Spirit to do what we cannot, but our pride must be broken and our desire must be to follow God's Spirit, not our own selfish desires.
...

The low self esteem is dead-on, and there is some jealousy but not too much. Pride is there for sure, because I had a fairly good career up until about 1999. I felt like I had gone as far as I could in my career with my personality (I'm not a management type), so I decided the only thing left was to try to invent something. That didn't work out. Being alone in my apartment all day made me depressed and stressed because nothing was working out, so I gave up. But I was too proud to go back to being a peon. So I spent several months not working and drinking all day trying to figure a way to kill myself. When I gave up the suicide idea, then I just threw all my belongings in a dumpster and drove home to my parents. I have always viewed the family business as a black hole, because it has so many needs that the family is a slave to the business. I was always thankful that I had escaped that, but at that point I wanted to hurt myself so I remember chuckling and knowing that I was ruining my life.

Things like that happen to me every 10 years or so. I want to kill myself, but I can't do it. So I try to destroy myself some other way. Then I have to clean up the mess later.

 

[RaiseTheDead]

Sure sounds like an issue deep in the sub-conscious to me! And if you were under hypnosis, it might come to the surface. And that is how unqualified people can unwittingly do a lot of damage. It is also how a highly skilled and competent professional can do a lot of good ...

 

[cloudyday2]

Sure sounds like an issue deep in the sub-conscious to me! And if you were under hypnosis, it might come to the surface. And that is how unqualified people can unwittingly do a lot of damage. It is also how a highly skilled and competent professional can do a lot of good ...

Thanks. I wonder if I could somehow dip my toe into hypnosis to see if it works and what I think about it? I was thinking about recording the session so I can watch myself and see how it works. Also the therapist mentioned that she could ask me questions and tell me to visualize the answers so only I would know the answers if they were embarrassing.

Also, thanks to everybody else that has responded. I appreciate people taking the time to read my stupid self-absorbed posts and make suggestions.

 

[RaiseTheDead]

Didn't you just identify low self-esteem as not necessarily healthy? This sub-forum is supposed to have self-absorbed threads!

Re: dipping your toes in hypnosis, it is possible to hypnotize yourself. From a spiritual standpoint, I think this would be more dangerous, unless someone were with you, kinda acting like your guardian. I refer you back to post #12, your own words, second quote

 

[cloudyday2]

Didn't you just identify low self-esteem as not necessarily healthy? This sub-forum is supposed to have self-absorbed threads!

Re: dipping your toes in hypnosis, it is possible to hypnotize yourself. From a spiritual standpoint, I think this would be more dangerous, unless someone were with you, kinda acting like your guardian. I refer you back to post #12, your own words, second quote

I'm going to go back and read everybody's posts again, because I think there were some good suggestions that I need to try to understand better - especially those suggestions about pride and praying.

I think I'll wait on the hypnosis until I understand the problem better and have a specific strategy. I think that is what people are suggesting unless I misunderstood.

Thanks again to everybody for giving suggestions (not the hypnotic kind though).

 

[Voluntary Joe]

The Milton Erickson approach is the only approach to the concept of hypnosis that I would consider appropriate. If your therapist does not use Ericksonian therapy in regards to hypnotism I would steer clear.

 

[cloudyday2]

The Milton Erickson approach is the only approach to the concept of hypnosis that I would consider appropriate. If your therapist does not use Ericksonian therapy in regards to hypnotism I would steer clear.

Thanks, she gave me a book to read called "Handbook of Hypnotic Suggestions and Metaphors" by Hammond. The book mentions Erickson. My therapist told me that she doesn't do hypnosis very often and usually it is for test anxiety, etc. She isn't a PhD, but she said some insightful things such as "Maybe you need the anger. Sometimes anger serves a purpose, and removing it could create worse problems." So I think she is properly cautious.

I'm not sure what I will do, because I might let her talk me into being hypnotised. I'm not a very assertive person. But I think most people are advising against being hypnotised for various reasons.

 

[Voluntary Joe]

I have a weariness about hypnosis because of personal bias, I really don't know about it as much as I would like. However my Aunt is a psycho-therapist with a PH'D and she gave me Erickson's book 'Uncommon Therapy'. After reading it I realized that the way he did hypnosis is not anything like the way I had perceived it. However after doing some research I learned that the Erickson technique is unique and at this point his is the only technique that I would personally approve of. Don't take my word for it, I'm just some guy on line. I encourage you to look into it and talk to your therapist and decide what is best for you.