What advice would you give 'old maids'

Goodbook

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just wondering.
If miracles of Sarah and Elizabeth anything to go by, nobody is ever too old to have children if they believe and God wants to open their womb.

I really dont like it when ppl put pressure on women to go with a guy, to have children and you see christians end up with unbelievers. And then have dramas cos they didnt wait. What other biblical advice would you give the women who are waiting?
 

Cloture

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I would tell them to read about the life of Corrie ten Boom. She actually spoke about that in a sermon she gave on surrender one time. She felt that God had called her to a life of celibacy, but she was worried about who would care for her in old age. Ultimately she ended up with so many friends and extended family that she lacked nothing in old age.

God does not call us to a life that will harm us. God isn't up there bumbling around making mistakes. Paul makes it crystal clear in 1st Corinthians 7 that a chaste life is better than a burdensome marriage. People who get married for the wrong reasons will conduct their marriage the wrong way and treat their spouse the wrong way and ultimately end up with a warped perception of married life. There is simply no way that an unprepared woman can force herself to be a prepared wife.

It is indeed a tragedy that so many single adults are pressured to find validation through marriage. In that sense, most Christians are little better than Hagar passing moral judgment against childless people.
 
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Goodbook

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Theres another lady, who I found really inspiring who is actually catholic called sister loyola, who gardens. Her story is that, she did have a beau, but he died before they could marry, and then she didnt feel like she was meant for anyone else. I think thats what happened to Corrie as well. Anyway she did find that, all her children were all those who were abandoned by THEIR parents.

And everyone just loves her and calls her blessed anyway. Corrie was called the Merry saint.
 
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Goodbook

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Not just to unmarried, but even to those who are married and dont have children...sometimes, its like they think they have it even worse...but isnt that good time to learn about their husbands and love them even more with no children for distraction....?
 
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Cloture

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Yes. My husband and I have no children. We are happy that way. I remember once a few years ago this woman (in church) got angry at me over something stupid so she went behind my back and told my husband that I was just too skinny and vain about my appearance and that was why I never got pregnant.

Women with children truly do look down on childless women.
 
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1watchman

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If one lives close to the Lord Jesus, He will undertake for all their needs ---and it doesn't mean He will give one all that they think they ought to have. Life should be about receiving the Lord Jesus as their Savior and Lord of their life. Making Him their best Friend will afford a good life in peace and joy. His ways are very far better. Such surrender of one's will can be hard at first, but when one considers the loving care of God and His better pathway than we know, we can rest on His "exceeding great and precious promises" as He provides.
 
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JCFantasy23

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Yes. My husband and I have no children. We are happy that way. I remember once a few years ago this woman (in church) got angry at me over something stupid so she went behind my back and told my husband that I was just too skinny and vain about my appearance and that was why I never got pregnant.

Women with children truly do look down on childless women.

That's terrible! I don't think it's that all woman look down on childless women if they have children, but some people just want to put someone down who is different than them. That's definitely a cruel thing to say.

Marriage in this society is considered so normal but there is nothing at all wrong with being single if you don't want to deal with a relationship.
 
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Goodbook

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Thats horrible.
I dont find that in church...amongst true believers.

But I do find that..women with children who arent believers do do that. Maybe some of them go to church cos their husbands go. Its very subtle and they will say things cos their own lives arent so great with their own children. Its just a form of pride...and impatience. Being a christian doesnt mean you will always be blessed with children of your own. Jesus never had any...but children adored him. It is better that children love you rather than hate you cos you their parent!!!
 
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seashale76

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Your worth as a person is not defined by marriage or children. God can use anyone no matter where they are in life. I look at difficult people that try to guilt trip or look down on you as those put in our lives to help us on the road of salvation. Every interaction with those types of people requires patience, prayer, and Christian love to navigate through. So, my main advice is trite, but it revolves around keeping to your daily prayer rule.
 
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jsimms615

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just wondering.
If miracles of Sarah and Elizabeth anything to go by, nobody is ever too old to have children if they believe and God wants to open their womb.

I really dont like it when ppl put pressure on women to go with a guy, to have children and you see christians end up with unbelievers. And then have dramas cos they didnt wait. What other biblical advice would you give the women who are waiting?

I would say don't settle for just anyone to marry. I would rather be single then settle for less than God's best for me. As far as children, there are a lot of children in foster care who need a great home. I had the privilege in the last two years to help four families adopt children who are in foster care.
 
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Goodbook

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Good advice, thanks.
Well, ironically this is actually coming from a friends sister who, she says, is devout christian but is 38 and deciding that she needs to marry and settle down and have children. Now her sister, (my friend) who is older, had children when she was young, like in her 20s. Shes now divorced. But she is coming back to the Lord.

And now seeing her sister, who has always been the christian in her family, fall for an unsuitable, unbeleiving guy...
I dont know if its she herself under pressure or her sister subtly hinting its going to be 'too late' for her. Because this friend had told me on numerous occasions, oh, dont leave it too late, have children while young etc etc which might be what she has been telling her sister...

This used to kind of annoy me cos she didnt listen to me and assumed that I was desperate and wanted a guy. And i TOLD her about my dramas with the online dating thing..ie. Dont even go there. But it seems she went ahead and did it and actually helped her sister set up a profile etc and now shes in deep trouble cos shes matched up with an unsuitable guy and cant let go.

Ugh. If you can pray for them both...cos..well i dont know the sister, but..it eould be awful if she felt pressured to continue on with this guy and be unequally yoked just like her sister was.
 
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Goodbook

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Coming back to this thread, was out with another single friend. She gets flack as well. But she said, to her married friend that kept going on about it 'being too late' to find a man..she countered with 'dont leave it too late to play chess' lol.

Good one! Of course it makes sense, if you leave it too late to play chess your brain is going to shrivel up and die and you will go senile cos of being dumbed down bringing up children so that you start losing your intellect.

And of course, its not as if you play chess alone.
 
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BFine

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Don't sit around "waiting" -- go serve others.
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you in this matter.

There's some great single moms and dads who have adopted and or fostered children.
That's what our German friend did...he didn't get the
gift of a wife but he got the gift of being a foster dad
to three children.
 
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Goodbook

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Oh its not me its a friends sister.
Since she already is a mum i dont see why her sister cant just be happy being an aunty. But then they live in different countries I suppose.
Anyway, not my problem but i think her sister should stop saying to single people 'dont leave it too late' just cos she had children in her 20s and now finds them annoying.
 
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Goodbook

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! of course!
I'm not old. How old is old anyway?

I know couples that foster but I don't know single people that do. Most that are single (cos they widowed or divorced)already have children. Sponsoring a child is also an option.

I am not sure what comes first the desire to have children or the desire to have a mate. Its very wrong to tell people it's too late to have a mate as you can have one at any age.
Children of your own may be a different matter, but..I've heard from most mothers and they will tell you the pain of having them is EXCRUCIATING. Which is why they have these powerful drugs.
Even the bible says women will have pain in childbirth and trouble in flesh. So..I don't see the attraction...
 
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camperdown9

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Hi

Why is having children such an issue?

I have seen women look down on other women and sometimes men, because they have a child. Its as if being a mother makes them some how better than everyone else. Well there are amazing mothers out there and there are a few useless ones. Being a full time mum must be a very challenging job, but there are lots of women who have all types of challenging jobs.

Alex
 
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