Wearing veils?

ByTheSpirit

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Is this a normal Pentecostal thing? Ive not attended a Pentecostal church exclusively, but this one I visited today I found out mandates all female members wear veils over their heads. They said God told them that is how he wants it done. Is that an acceptable practice in light of scripture?
 

Biblicist

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I should note the church is a very small church with only 4 male and 8 or 9 female members, none of which are in leadership roles.
Somehow . . . I think that maybe the lack of numbers might provide us with a hint or two.

A couple of years back while I was waiting out our International airport, I noticed a group of people approaching where the women and older teenage girls were wearing headscarfs. I would imagine that they were probably some form of Exclusive Brethren but I was certainly taken a bit back by their superb clothing and overall presentation which was modest but simple - from what I could observe around me, I think that quite a few others were thinking along similar lines.

What did seem a bit odd, was that in spite of the headscarfs and well chosen clothing, that the girls were wearing high heel shoes which in my view speaks of vanity; as the girls seemed to be in a hurry, a few of them took off their high heel shoes and ran across the departure area in bare feet.

My point being, if their dress code was to reflect a Godly demeanour, then why did they choose to wear high heels; were the leaders of the group trying to encourage Godliness or were they trying to get back to the ideal of the 50's where simplicity, modesty (and high heels) were the way to go - life was definitely far less complicated in those days.
 
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ByTheSpirit

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Yeah there's a laundry list of things that worry me about this church. My wife is a member there and refuses to leave. I am praying for wisdom about it.

I don't want to come across as gossiping so I'll leave it at that, hopefully I haven't crossed that line already. There is just sooo much about it that relly stirs my spirit in a bad way.
 
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phydaux

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"My wife is a member there and refuses to leave."

Why doesn't she want to leave? Does her family all go there? Long time friends?

BTW, this is where going to a fundamentalist, "literal Word of God" church pays off.

First, you need to find a new fellowship that you're comfortable being involved in. That shouldn't be too hard if you live in/near a good size town.

Then you don't ask her to change churches. You tell her "We are changing churches." And if she doesn't to be in disobedience to the Word of God by not subjecting herself to your spiritual authority, then that's between her and God.

And then you go.

Best of luck in finding a new fellowship. If I could offer a word of exhortation, I believe you are in a spiritual state that you should look for a place where you can serve God's people, rather than seeking to be served.

Oh, and there's a Calvary Chapel in Manhattan. Just sayin'...

Calvary Chapel Manhattan
 
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ByTheSpirit

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"My wife is a member there and refuses to leave."

Why doesn't she want to leave? Does her family all go there? Long time friends?

BTW, this is where going to a fundamentalist, "literal Word of God" church pays off.

First, you need to find a new fellowship that you're comfortable being involved in. That shouldn't be too hard if you live in/near a good size town.

Then you don't ask her to change churches. You tell her "We are changing churches." And if she doesn't to be in disobedience to the Word of God by not subjecting herself to your spiritual authority, then that's between her and God.

And then you go.

Best of luck in finding a new fellowship. If I could offer a word of exhortation, I believe you are in a spiritual state that you should look for a place where you can serve God's people, rather than seeking to be served.

Oh, and there's a Calvary Chapel in Manhattan. Just sayin'...

Calvary Chapel Manhattan

I agree I want to serve God's people but the issue is everywhere is saying that unless my wife and I attended church together I have little chance of doing so. Even my home church fellowship says that. Probably why I stay on CF honestly.

Her mother is co-Pastor with another female friend. Actually more than 50% of the church is close family friends or family itself. There is a lot there that just eeks my spirit. More than just the veil thing, but since this is the topic of discussion I will focus on that. It is becoming a legalistic thing. My wife went the other day and the first thing they asked her when she arrived was, where is your veil? A bit too far. I dont know, but Im not into that type of ..... thing.
 
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phydaux

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"Her mother is co-Pastor with another female friend."

So no male pastor?

How do you feel about pulpit ministry? Sounds like you've go an in for a tiny congregation. You check out those PDFs I linked to in that other thread?
 
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dayhiker

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The veil thing always seemed like a culture thing to me. Since wearing or no wearing a veil neither hurts or helps anyone to doesn't make any sense to me for it to be an issue.

I've never attended a pentecostal church where women wear veils.
 
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phydaux

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I should note the church is a very small church with only 4 male and 8 or 9 female members, none of which are in leadership roles.

If the church is only 12 people, then I take it you meet in someone's home and not a building?

What about accountability? To whom is the pastor/pastors accountable, both inside the congregation (the board members) and outside (other pastors/a Denom)?

Or is this an LC / house church?
 
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ByTheSpirit

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If the church is only 12 people, then I take it you meet in someone's home and not a building?

What about accountability? To whom is the pastor/pastors accountable, both inside the congregation (the board members) and outside (other pastors/a Denom)?

Or is this an LC / house church?

Nah they meet in a building. The church used to be bigger but some people left, others forced out, etc. Before I got there, I just heard through my wife.

I dont mind the veil thing, I just dont like the near legalistic thing that they use. Women members must wear veils, males suits and ties, etc. I dont like it... I dont know perhaps I should keep an open mind.

Other issue is its a Spanish church, No hablo espanol :)
 
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phydaux

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Find another church that you can be more in harmony with.

Give your wife your spiritual blessing to remain where she is, but let her know that, because of the language barrier, you are neither being fed, nor can you serve that body.

When you get involved in your new church and they ask you "Where is your wife?" simply tell that that, due to language issues, she is attending a Spanish language church. Then just drop it.

Easy Peasy
 
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jamadan

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Tough spot to be in, but it is your role in Christ to be the leader of your marriage and family. While all efforts should always be made to work out decisions with your spouse in agreement and harmony, what you're saying here is that you have a serious check in your spirit about this church. I don't blame you. Personally, I would pray about how to do this, but in the end, you need to assert your God-given authority and decide where you're going to church, inform your wife that you expect her to go with you (gently) and that if she remains at the other church, she does so without your blessing. I would then make it my daily prayer that God would change her heart to be obedient to her husband. If she disobeys you in this, she is disobeying the Lord and will not be blessed. It's one thing if you aren't obedient and serving the Lord, but since you are, she's obligated to submit to you as you submit to Christ. That's not a popular cultural position, but if you don't lead, your house will never be in order. If you lead and she doesn't follow, she's the one who's in rebellion and will reap what she's sown. Look at it this way . . . that check you're receiving is from the Spirit. You need to obey it for your sake and your wife's.

Add on thought, since her Mom is co-pastor, I would inform her of your decision as well. Not to get into any arguments over any specifics. Just say the Lord has led you and your wife to another place and that you have to obey the Lord. Also inform her that as pastor, it's her duty to tell her daughter to go with her husband and obey the Lord being properly submissive. If she is as legalistic as you indicate, that should prick her conscience. However, I find it rather contradictory for a woman to require head covering yet be okay being a pastor, leading a man. The instructions regarding women not leading a man is pretty clear. The head covering is a single mention in Scripture and is mostly agreed to be a cultural thing, much like a man with long hair. My guess is this will be a tough conversation for you, but you must have it. If God is leading you in this, and I believe He is, you need to project that faith and confidence when you approach this and leave it to the Holy Spirit to work on both your wife and mother-in-law. If they are truly Godly, they will eventually yield, if not, it's better for you to know this now than lead your entire life with a woman and MIL who have hardened their hearts to God . . . by the way, when a woman leads a man like this, it opens the door to an evil spirit often described as a Jezebel spirit - you'd be constantly manipulated through guilt and timidity until you begin to act like a man of God and take your place of authority.
 
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Bob Carabbio

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I agree I want to serve God's people but the issue is everywhere is saying that unless my wife and I attended church together I have little chance of doing so. Even my home church fellowship says that. Probably why I stay on CF honestly.

Her mother is co-Pastor with another female friend. Actually more than 50% of the church is close family friends or family itself. There is a lot there that just eeks my spirit. More than just the veil thing, but since this is the topic of discussion I will focus on that. It is becoming a legalistic thing. My wife went the other day and the first thing they asked her when she arrived was, where is your veil? A bit too far. I dont know, but Im not into that type of ..... thing.

Gut feel - she's in a CULT, not a "Church". And the longer she stays, the more damage it'll do to her, and everybody else involved. I'll bet a Bag of White Castles that if she decides to leave, they'll tell her she's gonna BURN!!! because they're the ONLY ones that are following the TRUTH.
 
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ByTheSpirit

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Well honestly there's a spiritual bondage there almost. My wife has already told me she will not leave the church so I suppose that's that. I can't make her, but she knows my misgivings about the place. I do go from time to time to support her, but I will probably stop now. There's more at play than what I can share in a place like this, but I do appreciate all the feedback.
 
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dragongunner

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Well honestly there's a spiritual bondage there almost. My wife has already told me she will not leave the church so I suppose that's that. I can't make her, but she knows my misgivings about the place. I do go from time to time to support her, but I will probably stop now. There's more at play than what I can share in a place like this, but I do appreciate all the feedback.


Bad situation but sounds like you gat a grasp on whats going on. Its legalism 101 at its worse. That is to these people they have turned away from Grace, and now desire works for salvation, blinded by their own self-righteousness and have gone into bondage, when probably at one time they had been set free. Your wife is most likely in bondage to her mother also. Tough to show the brainwashed that their brainwashed when they think everyone not like them is the ones wrong. Pray a hedge of thorns around your wife, and read the word of God together, if she loves Christ and you as she should she will come back, and grow and mature. God Bless.
 
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