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Wanna Kill Myself

BigToe

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pharoah was banned. last time i spoke with him, his suicidal thoughts had returned. i dont know if he is going to act on them or not... as its always hard to tell one's emotional state over the internet. i know he feels like God has forgotten about him and doesn't care. he feels like he has done too many bad things or thought too many impure thoughts. he has little or no support at home. he really needs a lot of prayer. i think he honestly wants help but doesnt know how to get it. so please pray for him.
 
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BigToe

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well when he has his suicidal thoughts, he gets in some sort of weird "funk" and tends to throw around cuss words... thus causing him to get banned. but if i hear from him i will definately let you guys know how he is.
 
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doofus125

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Blanton911 said:
well when he has his suicidal thoughts, he gets in some sort of weird "funk" and tends to throw around cuss words... thus causing him to get banned. but if i hear from him i will definately let you guys know how he is.

I used to flip out with the swearing like him......now I just don't have the energy to swear, lol.....but on a more serious note he is really hurting inside like I am because he knows there is something missing yet he feels like he can't acheive that something and that something is God.....like me he needs a good cry with a friend to cleanse his hurt and to know he's not alone.....you can have all kinds of people around you, but if you don't make an emotional connection it just doesn't help and I'm not talking about sex or his girlfriend, I'm talking about an emotional connection with another guy that understands what he's going through and that can be there to confort him in his time of need......It's hard being 21, your old enough to be a man, but emotionally alot of guys just aren't as emotionally mature enough to handle the feelings and frustration, I'm 24 and I still not emotionally mature to handle the feelings and frustration that I have......it all comes down to not having a father figure to mold you....and the thoughts that it's to late for God come from alot of guys because their own fathers have let them down so they feel like god isn't there.......
 
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BigToe

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He definately feels like he has no one to turn to. And I know he really really wants to feel God there, but because of insecurities and pain and numerous other emotions he can't see or feel God right there with him. And that sucks. It makes life that much harder when you don't feel that connection to a means of support and love when everything else is failing you. But he hurts, a lot, and needs prayer. Not only for reasons of health and safety and that he realizes that God is there for him no matter what, but that he realizes he is special and loved and a beautiful person- that he learns to love himself as well.
 
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doofus125

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Blanton911 said:
He definately feels like he has no one to turn to. And I know he really really wants to feel God there, but because of insecurities and pain and numerous other emotions he can't see or feel God right there with him. And that sucks. It makes life that much harder when you don't feel that connection to a means of support and love when everything else is failing you. But he hurts, a lot, and needs prayer. Not only for reasons of health and safety and that he realizes that God is there for him no matter what, but that he realizes he is special and loved and a beautiful person- that he learns to love himself as well.

I'm in the same boat, I just don't feel the presense of god anymore, I can't even say that he is real at this point in my life because I don't know if he is.....In my head I know he is and I believe the bible to be true and everything, but when it comes down to it I don't have it in my heart.....that's why alot of my posts can be confuseing because one time I'll be giving advice from the head knowledge and other times it's what I feel inside...the only thing keeping me going is the head knowledge, but that won't get me closer to god with out having him inside.....does that make any sense???
 
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doofus125

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lambslove said:
Great insights doofus. Thanks.

Seems oxymoronic to tell someone named doofus they have great insights. You should consider changing your name to, "Smarter than I feel" or something. :)

I've been doofus for too long to change it, everything is doofus, including how I end e-mails....

Sincerely,

DoOfUs... :)

I picked up the name doofus when I was right out of high school and I had just turned 18 and I was clueless to the world and I'd do stupid stuff, like one time I played hide and go seek in the dark with a bunch of 12-14 yr olds and I fractured my elbow and almost broke my leg, lol.....doofus is basicly for my clumbsy side :)
 
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Good news, I spoke with him tonight, he is ok. He said no matter how much he wanted to do it he couldn't go through with it. But he definately needs prayer still, on many different levels. I want to thank you for all the prayers you have been lifting up already. I am sure that God is trying to show this boy he is loved through every means he can....
 
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BigToe

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i do too. prayer will help. i dunno what else to do right now really. i've offered for him to come stay with me if he needs to get away sometime, but i dont think that is feasible. He is in God's hands, and God won't forsake him....
 
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