Unreasonable expectations

broken_one

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Leap Year was an absolutely ridiculous horrible movie. Plus, I am so much cooler than her ;)

PEOPLE STILL OWN CASTLES, SEAN.
I want to meet these people :p and become part of their Royal Family. :D

BTW I'm a guy, so obviously the movie wasn't good. lol.
 
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MacFall

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Am I? It's a plain and simple fact that women don't like touching me, at all. Not even to show platonic affection. That can't be tested over the internet, but it is borne out by my offline experience. I can believe - just barely - that a woman can find me generically attractive or cute or handsome, because I do not believe that you and other women here would lie to me. But when it comes to the nudity and the touching and stuff... I mean, I find the idea yucky, and I live in this body. That's asking me to suspend my disbelief a little too far.
 
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Tamara224

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Do I have to deconstruct your post?

Okay.:p

It's a plain and simple fact that women don't like touching me, at all. Not even to show platonic affection. That can't be tested over the internet, but it is borne out by my offline experience.

Unacceptable generalization = unreasonable. You've never met all women. It is therefore hyperbole and not a "plain and simple fact." It is, on the contrary, an opinion based on your own subjective feelings, not objective criteria.

Therefore, dear Mac, you are not using reason but emotion to form the basis of your statements.

I can believe - just barely - that a woman can find me generically attractive or cute or handsome, because I do not believe that you and other women here would lie to me. But when it comes to the nudity and the touching and stuff... I mean, I find the idea yucky, and I live in this body. That's asking me to suspend my disbelief a little too far.

Oh, don't be so silly. I can't imagine men wanting to touch or see me naked either. But that's based on how I feel about myself, not on how others feel about me.

Logically, I can't presume that because I feel a certain way about my body that everyone else must feel that same way.

It doesn't follow, Mac, you know it doesn't follow.

Very few people are turned on at the sight or feel of their own bodies. That would be rather weird, actually.

You're letting your negative feelings about yourself lead you to illogical conclusions.
 
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MacFall

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Okay, I admit the possibility that there could be a woman out there who would not be grossed out by naked!me. But that doesn't suggest a probability high enough to make me confident about the idea. And the empirical evidence (that all the women I've encountered up to this point are uncomfortable in close proximity to me, and visibly negatively affected by actual contact; excluding relatives and a couple girls who were already dating someone else - go figure) suggests the opposite. Enough empirical evidence suggests a trend which can be reasonably predicted to continue, caeteris paribus. The question is whether caeteris will always remain paribus, and if not, how one could go about un-paribusing it.

I wait anxiously to be proven wrong, but I don't have my hopes up.

Today's SMBC is relevant.

 
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Tamara224

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Okay, I admit the possibility that there could be a woman out there who would not be grossed out by naked!me.

Okay, I'm going to take this as a baby step in the right direction. :p

But that doesn't suggest a probability high enough to make me confident about the idea. And the empirical evidence (that all the women I've encountered up to this point are uncomfortable in close proximity to me, and visibly negatively affected by actual contact; excluding relatives and a couple girls who were already dating someone else - go figure) suggests the opposite.

Two issues here: biased sample and confirmation bias due to a subjective evaluator employing subjective methods.

IOW, You see what you look for. Can't get past human nature, there.

Enough empirical evidence suggests a trend which can be reasonably predicted to continue, caeteris paribus. The question is whether caeteris will always remain paribus, and if not, how one could go about un-paribusing it.

Whoosh. That's over my head. ^_^
 
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MacFall

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Two issues here: biased sample

Of course, but it's a pretty big one nonetheless.

and confirmation bias due to a subjective evaluator employing subjective methods.
That's a tough pill to swallow. Especially after being called, directly and through "the grapevine", everything from "overly forward" to "creepy". Of course that has only happened a few times, but it wasn't too hard for me to figure out:

Givens:
1a) Women A through G exhibit physical response Q and
1b) give verbal confirmation X.
2) Women H through Z exhibited the same physical response.

Conclusion: They probably felt the same way even though they didn't confirm it. It seems reasonable to me.

And the few instances of women NOT exhibiting physical response Q coincided with friendliness and a desire to be around me more. But in all cases, the latter category include women in whom I have no romantic interest and who are well removed from the possibility of that developing (relatives, already dating or married to someone else, much older or younger than I am, lesbian, et cetera).

The only way I can reconcile my experience with your rejection of my conclusion is to say that there's something in particular about the women in the area in which I live (the Pittsburgh region). But I wouldn't want to pass a judgment like that. Or that I just have fantastically bad luck - but I don't believe in luck.

Whoosh. That's over my head. ^_^
Caetaris paribus means "all other things remaining equal". In other words, unless I can change the parameters somehow, I can expect the past trend to continue into the future. But I don't know which parameters can be changed, or how to change them if they can (except for moving out of the area, but I'm going to be stuck here for a long time).
 
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phina

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Which makes the fact that it's an unreasonable expectation pretty tough to cope with.

Unreasonable expectation?!

hmm when a guy likes a girl.. vice versa, first, their is always a level of attraction.. now, it's only natural that attraction grows over time if feelings converse both ways.. eventually, it grows in to sexual attraction.. it's not even an expectation either, it just naturally happens.. I don't see why you would have any problem with it too..

:)
 
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phina

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I know how sexual attraction develops, in theory. Read my discussion with Tamara on this and the last page and maybe you'll understand why I feel the way I do.

my bad.. :)

hmm, in spite of how you feel about yourself.. if you see yourself through God's eyes.. your views on yourself will eventually change...
 
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puffca

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I actually like doing the dishes. Its therapeutic for me.

Be my roomie too, I'll cook!!!


I'm pretty sure mine are unreasonable for 98% of guys in the world lol.

Intelligent
Abstract thinker
Has ambition
Doesn't mind animals (including invertebrates, rodents and farm animals)
Is health conscious
Active and in good shape
Likes outdoor activities like hiking, biking, running, surfing etc
Likes to travel
Is environmentally conscious
Is not from an Abrahamic faith (atheist, agnostic, deist, pantheist, pagan, buddhist are all acceptable)
Enjoys reading
Not wishy washy or whimpy

:doh:
I used to fit the bill before November, 2002.


She must find me sexually attractive.

:D So true!
(Wait, no, I'm not talking about you.)


...Oh, don't be so silly. I can't imagine men wanting to touch or see me naked either. But that's based on how I feel about myself, not on how others feel about me.
...

:doh:Out of nowhere I saw this, and my formerly innocent mind is ruined.
 
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