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Unintentional Sexual Harassment?

fluffy_rainbow

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I'm dealing with a bizarre situation at work that is relavent to inappropriate contentography addiction that has left all of the ladies in the office quite shaken up. If the mods feel this post is inappropriate, please feel free to remove it. I'm just hoping to get some advice on how to deal with this.

We hired a sales rep over the summer who was supposed to come in and sell for our company. He had been fired from his last job and was desperate for a job. We let him come in and we even gave him his own office. He never went out and sold, but he was always in his office with the door closed. He told my dad he was trying to deal with his personal creditors to straighten out his financial delimnas. He was also spending alot of time at the office after hours.

Well, when he left and found another job he called and asked us if we could box up his office stuff and he'd come pick it up. As I was placing all of his books and notebooks in a box, two CD rom disks fell out from between the pages of a composition notebook. I wanted to place them in the CD rom carousel with the others, so I grabbed them off the floor and was disgusted when I saw they were inappropriate contentographic movies. I quickly put them with his other CD rom disks and kept packing up his things, but made my dad aware of what I had found.

A week later he still had not picked up his stuff. I get the mail every day and I saw an envelope addressed to our company to his attention. I thought maybe it was some marketing literature that we could benefit from so I opened it. It was a full-color catalog selling inappropriate contentographic books and magazines. I quickly stuffed it back in the envelope and shredded it. When he finally came to pick his things up my dad confronted him to let him know he was disappointed in him having inappropriate contentography not only in the office, but was having it sent to our office as well. He lied and told my father he had struggled with inappropriate contentography addiction two years ago but had overcome it. How would that explain why he had it in our office over the summer and his inappropriate contentography suppliers had our business address?

He left his computer and said we could keep it. My sister and I soon discovered why he did not want to take it home. When we were trying to print an email his history bar popped up and it was nothing but listing after listing for inappropriate content sites, some of them very disturbing in nature. We shut down the computer and told our dad once again. He called the man and told him come pick up his computer.

Well, today, my sister's boyfriend was cleaning the office restroom and there is a large single pane of mirrored glass our former suite-neighbors had given us when they moved to a new building. It just sort of leans against the wall. Well, Tony went to vacuum behind it and was appalled when he came across not only a terribly disturbing inappropriate content magazine, but a fake woman's genitalia. I wanted to cry just thinking about what else we may find hidden in little nooks and crannies of the office.

I don't know what sort of advice I'm looking for, but obviously the man needs prayers. He has a wife and five children. My sister and I are also very upset about this. It has disturbed me terribly. This is my office and we trusted this man to come in and work for us, not use us as his secret inappropriate content stash. In an odd way, I feel sexually violated. Not in a rape sense, but almost in a sexual harassment sense. Are there any websites I can go to that would give me some Scriptures that may help me overcome this?
 

carmi

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fluffy_rainbow said:
I don't know what sort of advice I'm looking for, but obviously the man needs prayers. He has a wife and five children. My sister and I are also very upset about this. It has disturbed me terribly. This is my office and we trusted this man to come in and work for us, not use us as his secret inappropriate content stash. In an odd way, I feel sexually violated. Not in a rape sense, but almost in a sexual harassment sense. Are there any websites I can go to that would give me some Scriptures that may help me overcome this?
I am guessing here but I think you feel violated because you feel used. This man used your office or the opportunity your dad gave him for different purposes. It makes you feel as if indirectly you helped him looking at inappropriate contentsites behind is wife's back by giving him his own office and trusting him (in the sense that nobody ever checked up on him, what he is doing there, the history of his computer).

Many companies track their employee's computer activity - you gave this man free hand and he misused his liberties. You/your dad gave this man an opportunity to get his act together, to get back on his feet and you trusted him. He misused this trust.

What you feel, many people feel. I felt that way when I found out that a friend of mine was still taking drugs. That the money I borrowed him was used on drugs. I believed his stories of financial difficulties, I wanted to help him cover the days until the next pay day (and yes, he always paid back) only to find out later I was helping him to get his drug supplies.
 
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Christ's Minister

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Of course what the employee did was so wrong but if you continue to think about it you will be harassing yourself with your bitter memories.It will help to realize that the man has a very sick and addicted mind that makes it extremely difficult for him to get away from inappropriate content,which for many is far more addicting than illegal drugs,and futhermore he did nothing to try to harm you personally.As far as a Bible verse,here's a good one that if enough people practiced it,would completely change the world:"If you do not forgive,neither will your Father in heaven forgive your sins."Remember you are being tormented by your own thoughts of someone who needs to be treated with pity and compassion because his mental and moral sickness has caused him to lose control of himself.:help:
 
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VivDaGurl

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fluffy_rainbow said:
Well, when he left and found another job he called and asked us if we could box up his office stuff and he'd come pick it up. As I was placing all of his books and notebooks in a box, two CD rom disks fell out from between the pages of a composition notebook. I wanted to place them in the CD rom carousel with the others, so I grabbed them off the floor and was disgusted when I saw they were inappropriate contentographic movies. I quickly put them with his other CD rom disks and kept packing up his things, but made my dad aware of what I had found.

A week later he still had not picked up his stuff. I get the mail every day and I saw an envelope addressed to our company to his attention. I thought maybe it was some marketing literature that we could benefit from so I opened it. It was a full-color catalog selling inappropriate contentographic books and magazines. I quickly stuffed it back in the envelope and shredded it. When he finally came to pick his things up my dad confronted him to let him know he was disappointed in him having inappropriate contentography not only in the office, but was having it sent to our office as well. He lied and told my father he had struggled with inappropriate contentography addiction two years ago but had overcome it. How would that explain why he had it in our office over the summer and his inappropriate contentography suppliers had our business address?

He left his computer and said we could keep it. My sister and I soon discovered why he did not want to take it home. When we were trying to print an email his history bar popped up and it was nothing but listing after listing for inappropriate content sites, some of them very disturbing in nature. We shut down the computer and told our dad once again. He called the man and told him come pick up his computer.

Well, today, my sister's boyfriend was cleaning the office restroom and there is a large single pane of mirrored glass our former suite-neighbors had given us when they moved to a new building. It just sort of leans against the wall. Well, Tony went to vacuum behind it and was appalled when he came across not only a terribly disturbing inappropriate content magazine, but a fake woman's genitalia. I wanted to cry just thinking about what else we may find hidden in little nooks and crannies of the office.

I don't know what sort of advice I'm looking for, but obviously the man needs prayers. He has a wife and five children. My sister and I are also very upset about this. It has disturbed me terribly. This is my office and we trusted this man to come in and work for us, not use us as his secret inappropriate content stash. In an odd way, I feel sexually violated. Not in a rape sense, but almost in a sexual harassment sense. Are there any websites I can go to that would give me some Scriptures that may help me overcome this?
OUCH! This is just so sickening...I'm so sorry fluffy_rainbow that you have to go through such things - helping him to clean up his desk and found phonorgraphy movies, picking up mails with some phonorgraphic catalogs addressed to him, Internet history shows only phonorgraphic links, phonorgraphic magazines and woman's fake genitalia! This is so unhealthy!

This man definately need a lot of prayers - pray for his family, the spirit of lust to leave him and that the Lord will touch his heart. No one can change anybody except the Lord is able to. For your case, I will pray that these things will not disturb you mentally. I know how this feels, fluffy_rainbow. It's very uncomfortable. If you need to talk, do PM me.
 
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madison1101

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Your feelings are understandable. Your work area, where you wish to feel safe, was used for someone's sexual addiction. Praise God this man did not seek to fulfill his addiction with you or your sister.

This man definitely needs your prayers. I hope you can forgive him, as he needs the Lord and forgiveness from Him.

Hugs,
Madison
 
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The Whammy

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I'm so sorry fluffy that you had to experience this. As a former sex addict, I know that through most of my addiction I never thought about how my actions affected other people. You have been exposed unwillingly to some very disturbing things, and I commend you for talking to your dad and to others about it for support.

There is a fine line between compassion and condemnation for the addict...this man needs to be confronted and his sin and dishonesty exposed...not to make him look like a bad person, but so that he can see the consequences of his actions and how it impacts him and others. That is a necessary part of the recovery process for any addiction. The confrontation your dad did doesn't sound condemning at all, but very appropriate for the circumstances.

--Chris
 
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