two dads get into a fight over daughters soft ball games?

[redleghunter]

My dad, stepdad, and grandpa have coached various kids sports over the years, but I don't think they've experienced anything as extreme as parents physically fighting with one another. I've never actually asked any of them about it, though. I don't think parents were rude to them, either, but it's very possible that they were and I just never witnessed it. The closest I can recall is that this mom was over the top upset her daughter had to wear a swim cap in the pool for the meet. She told my stepdad her daughter's hair hurt, and started screaming at him when he laughed. Not her head, her hair. From what I've observed the sports drama was tame in comparison to that of dance competitions. The show Dance Moms is of course hyperbolic but yet there are some elements of truth to it. When I was a kid my team won a national championship and was about to be inducted into the Hall of Fame, but then we got disqualified because parents of the 2nd place team had measured our prop and discovered it was like an inch too high according to the competition rulebook. The thing is, they sneakily measured it before we competed but tried to claim some moral high ground that the reason for the objection was our safety. If we hadn't won, then they never would have said anything about it. The very lowest of the low, though, was that a MOM had been posting rumors and cruel comments about girls her daughters were friends with but competed against (including me!) under an alias on YouTube.

Yes, girl's and young women's activities can get down right 'nasty.' I have all boys, but the men I work with have mostly daughters.

Yes the 'ladies' can get worse than the 'men' on this.

 

[redleghunter]

Down south they would sell their own children into slavery. If they did not do what they were told they threatened to tie them to the wiping post and beat them within an inch of their lives.

Where down south? The South of Egypt?

 

[redleghunter]

I meant assualting someone else's child who was winning against their own.

Have not seen that and hope not to.

The worst is YouTube with all the women's 'cat fights.' I don't know why the site managers don't remove those videos.

 

[redleghunter]

LOL well there you have it. Now I have seen it!

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Very true... You have to remember a lot of parents nowadays weren't raised the way we were. Maybe not all is lost they can still be taken out behind the barn and spanked...

I'm sure all these parents were spanked.

 

[redleghunter]

This is why we need to issue guns to everyone.

Only works for the rifle team.

 

[redleghunter]

I coached for 7 straight years and it was quite interesting to say the least.

I participated in the sport I coached at the division one college level and over that seven years, I had more mothers telling me I had no clue what I was doing than dads.

Yes the moms get very vocal. Especially against their own sons I noticed.

As you probably learned (as I did) it is pretty easy to deal with these situations up front and early. The leagues I have coached in have 'parent agreement' sheets that they fill out which has the league rules to include a clause on proper sportsmanship. I gather the parents together, read it to them and have them sign it in front of me. I then informed them that the coaches are the only ones who will coach and if they have questions they can come see me after practice or a game. Basically I told them that there would be no 'coaching from the bleachers.'

Now I did have issues with the opposing team's moms and dads a few times. The opposing coach did not keep his parents in control and the ump had to get involved. Some of those opposing team's parents used some choice words against me which irked the parents on my side. But by the guidelines the ump is the one who handles that or a league rep.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Where down south? The South of Egypt?

Kentucky was a big state for breeding slaves. For example they use to breed what they called fancy girls. They had a lot of white blood in them and were sold according to how light their skin was and their sexual attractiveness. If they caused any problem then they were sold down the river to New Orleans a city made up mostly of French and Black people. Often free blacks owned slaves, in New Orleans there were 3,000 free blacks that owned slaves. Usually they were black women that at one time had been fancy girls and their owners gave them their freedom when they got older. Charlotte was also a city where free blacks could live only they were usually darker in color there. http://slaverebellion.org/index.php?page=the-black-slave-owners

 

[cow451]

I have seen many parents ruin it for very talented kids. My daughter has had three teammates on her swim team who were clear Division 1 college prospects. These girls got to the end of their junior year of high school and quit swimming. The common denominator all three of them had was their parents seemed to gain their self worth from how well their daughter did in the pool - and that showed itself in tremendous pressure on their kids. She has had many teammates who did go to swim in college and loved it. Typically, their parents were the ones who sent their kid the message, good meet or bad meet, that they just enjoyed watching their child swim.

My son (8th grade) plays baseball and wrestles. Strange to me, but the baseball parents tend to be much worse than the wrestling parents. Good and bad at both, but rarely does a baseball tournament go by where I do not see a parent being a doofus.

My observation has been that parents who had "satisfying" athletic experiences in their own youth were the best parents. The worst parents were the "wannabees" and "never-were's".

 

[joshua 1 9]

What about the twin towers? I'm sure the people involve were once normal behave people. Until they lost their minds.

I doubt if they ever had a chance, they most likely started out with mothers that were crazy. Perhaps little girls that got sold into a sex slavery marriage.

 

[bhsmte]

Yes the moms get very vocal. Especially against their own sons I noticed.

As you probably learned (as I did) it is pretty easy to deal with these situations up front and early. The leagues I have coached in have 'parent agreement' sheets that they fill out which has the league rules to include a clause on proper sportsmanship. I gather the parents together, read it to them and have them sign it in front of me. I then informed them that the coaches are the only ones who will coach and if they have questions they can come see me after practice or a game. Basically I told them that there would be no 'coaching from the bleachers.'

Now I did have issues with the opposing team's moms and dads a few times. The opposing coach did not keep his parents in control and the ump had to get involved. Some of those opposing team's parents used some choice words against me which irked the parents on my side. But by the guidelines the ump is the one who handles that or a league rep.

I did all of the above and it still didn't stop some folks from doing what they would do.

 

[bhsmte]

My observation has been that parents who had "satisfying" athletic experiences in their own youth were the best parents. The worst parents were the "wannabees" and "never-were's".

You got that right.

All the parents that understood competing at any level and experienced it themselves, took things in stride and were calm. The folks who were the wannabees, were by far, the most trouble.

 

[Uncle Siggy]

Yes the moms get very vocal. Especially against their own sons I noticed.

As you probably learned (as I did) it is pretty easy to deal with these situations up front and early. The leagues I have coached in have 'parent agreement' sheets that they fill out which has the league rules to include a clause on proper sportsmanship. I gather the parents together, read it to them and have them sign it in front of me. I then informed them that the coaches are the only ones who will coach and if they have questions they can come see me after practice or a game. Basically I told them that there would be no 'coaching from the bleachers.'

Now I did have issues with the opposing team's moms and dads a few times. The opposing coach did not keep his parents in control and the ump had to get involved. Some of those opposing team's parents used some choice words against me which irked the parents on my side. But by the guidelines the ump is the one who handles that or a league rep.

I'm glad I never had to mess with the "parents behavior agreements", just told the players to play hard and speak no ca ca before, during or after the game...

 

[redleghunter]

I'm glad I never had to mess with the "parents behavior agreements", just told the players to play hard and speak no ca ca before, during or after the game...

I would hope not. Didn't you coach adult sports?

 

[redleghunter]

My observation has been that parents who had "satisfying" athletic experiences in their own youth were the best parents. The worst parents were the "wannabees" and "never-were's".

Could be. My observation is most parents that really get into youth sports are opposite spectrum types. On the one hand a mom who played college level softball is very intense on her son's swing and tries to coach him from the bleachers.

On the other hand a parent who did not play sports at all but is a really big fan of the sport. They expect everything to be like the big leagues.

Again 99.9% of these parents calm down once you confront them either constructively or confrontationally...or both.

My wife says I'm a 'scary guy' when defending the kiddos on my team. She calls it 'the look.' Totally unintentional and probably the product of over two decades in the military. So I guess 'the look' about defuses most situations.

 

[WolfGate]

Could be. My observation is most parents that really get into youth sports are opposite spectrum types. On the one hand a mom who played college level softball is very intense on her son's swing and tries to coach him from the bleachers.

On the other hand a parent who did not play sports at all but is a really big fan of the sport. They expect everything to be like the big leagues.

Again 99.9% of these parents calm down once you confront them either constructively or confrontationally...or both.

My wife says I'm a 'scary guy' when defending the kiddos on my team. She calls it 'the look.' Totally unintentional and probably the product of over two decades in the military. So I guess 'the look' about defuses most situations.

I think as a generalization this may be true, though of course the motivation for being overly involved is different. In one case, the parent truly believes they can help their child be better - but unintentionally may be going counter to the coaches instruction. In the other case, the parent often is living out their missed dreams through their child.

I played soccer until I was about 20. Switched to volleyball and it turned out that was my better sport. Coached volleyball a bit after college. Took up running and still competitive in age group at 53. When my kids were born i had dreams of coaching them in volleyball and soccer and thought about how solid their fundamentals would be from the beginning. Turns out my daughter went to swimming and my son to baseball/wrestling. A blessing in disguise. I know nothing about technique in those sports, so i have no temptation to tell them how to do it. All I can do is enjoy their journey - and it is their journey, not mine. I'm learning a lot too, which is fun.

 

[keith99]

My dad, stepdad, and grandpa have coached various kids sports over the years, but I don't think they've experienced anything as extreme as parents physically fighting with one another. I've never actually asked any of them about it, though. I don't think parents were rude to them, either, but it's very possible that they were and I just never witnessed it. The closest I can recall is that this mom was over the top upset her daughter had to wear a swim cap in the pool for the meet. She told my stepdad her daughter's hair hurt, and started screaming at him when he laughed. Not her head, her hair. From what I've observed the sports drama was tame in comparison to that of dance competitions. The show Dance Moms is of course hyperbolic but yet there are some elements of truth to it. When I was a kid my team won a national championship and was about to be inducted into the Hall of Fame, but then we got disqualified because parents of the 2nd place team had measured our prop and discovered it was like an inch too high according to the competition rulebook. The thing is, they sneakily measured it before we competed but tried to claim some moral high ground that the reason for the objection was our safety. If we hadn't won, then they never would have said anything about it. The very lowest of the low, though, was that a MOM had been posting rumors and cruel comments about girls her daughters were friends with but competed against (including me!) under an alias on YouTube.

My one question is how did the girls on the 2nd place team feel about this. My experience has been competitors and especially kids are better behaved and far better sports than parents and coaches. (Not all parents and coaches, the vast majority are fine to great, but the rotten apples sure make an impression).

 

[Ada Lovelace]

My one question is how did the girls on the 2nd place team feel about this. My experience has been competitors and especially kids are better behaved and far better sports than parents and coaches. (Not all parents and coaches, the vast majority are fine to great, but the rotten apples sure make an impression).

They got to take our place in advancing to the competition where dancers from around the world competed in Australia. I think they were delighted. It probably wasn't revealed to them that their parents were the ones who tattled on us about the prop being too high for that competition. It was all done in an underhanded way.

 

[keith99]

They got to take our place in advancing to the competition where dancers from around the world competed in Australia. I think they were delighted. It probably wasn't revealed to them that their parents were the ones who tattled on us about the prop being too high for that competition. It was all done in an underhanded way.

A cruel thing all around.

 

[keith99]

My observation has been that parents who had "satisfying" athletic experiences in their own youth were the best parents. The worst parents were the "wannabees" and "never-were's".

Same here, but God have mercy on the child of someone who barely missed the big time.