I am almost 15, but after I was like 10 or 11, I noticed a big difference in the way that my parents treated me. My mom started drinking more, a lot more. I have two younger brothers, and they aren't affected by this. Just me. I remember, it was a labor day block party by my house. Kids, parents, everyone went. I was only like 10 at the time. Only my mom and my brothers went, because my parents were seperated. After being there a couple of hours, one of my mom's friends brought me and my brother to her home. She told us that we would have to stay there for a while. My mom ended coming over, and taking us home. It was then that I learned what being drunk was. She sent my brothers to thier room, and left me down with her, while she bombarded me with put downs. My oldest younger brother called my dad who called the cops. The cops came and took me to my dads, and sentinced my mom to some type of alchol class. I'm not sure what it was. September 4th of this year, a similar incident occured. I had a band lesson that my mom took me to that morning. The night before, she had downed a 24 pack of beer along with other alchol with my aunt. I didn't realize until we were way past our home, that she was still drunk. She had absolutely no idea of what she was doing. She was for a while, driving on the wrong side of the road. Once we got there, I just told her to go home, and I would get a ride home from my dad. I saw her drive away. After my lesson, she was still there and she forced me into the car. She was at one point driving on the wrong side of the road, and a semi was heading right for us. I grabbed the wheel in order to aviod the semi. I sat back down only to see a fist heading right at my face. I don't know what I did wrong. Then we for some reason pulled into a Walmart and I got out to call my dad. She pushed me back into the car, and slammed my leg in the car door. Before we got home, she started slamming me with put downs. Again, and again. When we finally got home, I ran. I ran for two miles until I got to my best friends home. The cops got involved, and I had to proscute against my mother. I had to go to one out of three court dates, and I had to talk to a social worker. Before the social worker came, or before I went to court, my dad told me that if i didn't protect my mother's name, that I would have to "pick my self off of the floor". So I lied. But I could'nt handle it. So I tried to slit my wrist with a box cutter. I still have the scars. I also overdosed and drank on several occasions. I went out of town this weekend, and when I came back, my brothers told me that mom and dad were happy that I left and that they wished that I was gone longer. They say that they can't wait until i get out of their house. They were at one point opsessed with calling me fat. So, I want anorexic for like 6 weeks. I lost a lot of weight. I was recently listening to one of my parents' conversations, and they said that I am killing my mother. All I have ever wanted is to be loved. For a very long time, I just want to be loved. Please, I need help coping with this. The feeling of wanting to die, just to make your parents happy, stinks. Its the worst feeling in the world. Thank you Casey, for making me realize that someone does love me. God Bless You. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I don't want to hurt my self again. But sometimes, its just too much.