Top reasons I'll never convert to....

[Uphill Battle]

ALERT Humor thread. Not to be taken seriously whatsoever.


Catholicism....

1) I'm claustrophobic. I'd go crazy in a confessional booth.
2) I prefer scotch to wine, and last time I checked, they won't transubstatiate Glenfiddich and potato chips.
3) the potential for severe chastisement if I cross myself backwards, in the Orthodox style.

Orthodoxy

1) The hives I'd get from the beards if a bishop ever gave me a "holy kiss"
2) I'm a bit of a showboat... and nobody pays any attention to the Orthodox.
3) the potential for severe chastisement if I cross myself backwards, in the Roman Catholic style.

Baptist

1) I'm already overweight and sweaty. I don't need to add a full suit to that to make matters worse.
2) I'm a poor cook. Potlucks would be a nightmare.
3) I don't like bingo.

Episcopalian

1) I'd never know whether or not I was covert Catholic.
2) my difficulty in spelling episcopalian
3) my difficulty in SAYING episcopalian.

Anglican

1) I'm of Scottish blood.
2) I'm of Scottish blood.
3) I'm of Scottish blood. (Wallace! Wallace! Down with the longshanks!)

Seventh Day adventist

1) Sunday afternoon football is better after church.
2) The traffic I'd face trying to get to church, when everyone else is out shopping.
3) Having to explain to people what "adventist" means.

Pentecostal

1) I have trouble with tongue twisters as it is.
2) Fear of pit stains, when raising hands and waving them
3) I don't like tambourines.

Lutheran

1) I don't really want to have to read the Theses.... AGAIN.
2) WELS doesn't sponser the Green Bay Packers.
3) I prefer Mozzarella to Wisconson Cheddar

Amish

1) No TV
2) No Xbox
3) no fun

Menonite

(see Amish)



hope you don't feel excluded if I skipped you denomination!

 

[LamorakDesGalis]

UB, those are good n' funny!

 

[jpcedotal]

Pretty good....

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

LLOJ subscribes!
I need to make one on the Messianic Denomination.....letsame ponder on that

 

[Uphill Battle]

adding one, in honour of John Calvin's birhday:


Calvinism

1) I might get myself in an unbearable paradox. If I doubted predestination, I'd then have to wonder if I was predestined to doubt predestination. And then I'd have to wonder if I was predestined to be predestined to doubt predestination. Then I'd have to wonder....

2) Armanism is so much COOLER. Have you seen their suits?

3) I like tulips and all... but their such a pain to cultivate. Easier to stick with rosebushes.

 

[Dark_Lite]

I'd convert to Calvinism, but I don't think I'm predestined to do so.

 

[Celticflower]

UB is on a roll this week! YEAH!

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

Top reasons I'll never convert to....

Hinduism

Just something about bluish skin that gives me an eerie feeling

 

[Chesterton]

I'd like to become a Universalist, but why bother?

 

[BreadAlone]

Lutheran

1) I don't really want to have to read the Theses.... AGAIN.
2) WELS doesn't sponser the Green Bay Packers.
3) I prefer Mozzarella to Wisconson Cheddar

That's what we want you to think.

 

[JSGuitarist]

Pentecostal:

I'm worried the catchers might forget about me

Shundai, someone stole-a da Hondas!

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

I'd like to become a Universalist, but why bother?

Largest thread showing this topic

http://www.christianforums.com/t4136277/
Another question (or several on one verse) for Universalists

Universalism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Universalism refers to religious, theological, and philosophical concepts with universal ("applying to all") application or applicability. It is a term used to identify particular doctrines considering all people in their formation. In religion and theology, "universalism" is a principle that asserts that all people are under the consideration and love of God, and that theological concepts (doctrines) which conform to this concept are in fact more in accord with the divine concepts.

 

[Fixation On God]

Why i'll never convert to non-denominational:

I will get tired of people pushing me to convert to denomination-specific.

I get tired of not having a direct answer when people ask "what denomination are you?"

I have a hard time telling the difference between Non-Denominational and Christian.

I will most likley get corrupted by all the various theology.

I get mixed up in my many theological views as it is.

 

[Celticflower]

Why i'll never convert to non-denominational:

I will get tired of people pushing me to convert to denomination-specific.

I get tired of not having a direct answer when people ask "what denomination are you?"

I have a hard time telling the difference between Non-Denominational and Christian.

I will most likley get corrupted by all the various theology.

I get mixed up in my many theological views as it is.

And I will add that they won't accept my baptism and I'm not about to tell God he did it wrong!