To use or not to use online dating?

[Dreamer88]

What are peoples thoughts on online dating (or in particular using it to find a companion who is already a believer).

Im a alright looking 25 y.o guy who doesnt struggle to find the opposite sex but finding someone who has strong christian values (aka small to no drinking etc) at our age group is rather dificult. I probably dont go to the right places to find these women but then im not going to visit every church in the country to either

Ive been thinking of using online dating (my job also sometimes takes me from home for up to a week or so every so often) as another resort but wanted to know peoples opinions or experiences.

Turning 25 last week feeling like im getting at that age already lol

 

[vanillakay]

Hey there. Im an ok looking gal and around your age too (just turned 26 yesterday) and i can tell you its not all it's cracked up to be.iv been apart of at least two or three dating websites in past few years and I never once went on a date with a guy, we only talked a few times. I had issues finding a decent guy and my guess is your not going to find a good christian girl unless you join a faith dating site (like christian mingle for example) and even then mybe not. Not trying to discourage you, you might have better luck than me. I sure hope so! Just try it and see what happens.

Ps, I know how ya feel about age thing, i cried when i turned 25.

 

[KitKatMatt]

Online dating has it's ups and downs.

I stick to free sites. I have met a few people that meet my criteria, but I have yet to talk to them enough to build up trust for that first real life meeting.

The bonus about online dating is that you can get a grasp of a person before speaking to them. On all sites I have been on, "how often do you drink" is one of the more obvious questions on their profiles.

Religion is another question that I have never seen absent on a dating profile. Of course not everyone answers either, but I have not seen too many people leave either field blank.

Good luck out there!

 

[Dreamer88]

Thanks for sharing. i was thinking that'd be the case buy hmm surely there must be some suc ess stories heh.

You both mention that other then talking a bit you couldnt be convinced to meet them in life. without too much detail why was this? Was it that difficult to find someone mildly interesting?

 

[DavidSkate]

I am also a 25 year old fully committed follower of Jesus. I have tried the dating sites and my area is not good for what I am looking for.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

The pastor at the church I attend had a sermon on being a single Christian and it helped me out a lot. Here is a link to the podcast. I hope it helps you.

Scroll down to
2/24/13 The Kingdom and Singleness

apexcommunity. org/media.php?pageID=18#13

Sometimes God keeps us single to learn more for our future partner. Or, to help use you to become a person who can spread the gospel much easier than someone married (financial situations, kids, etc.)

Have faith and pray!
God Bless!

 

[vanillakay]

Haha very very true David, I t's hard but I tell mysef that there is a reason for everything and that God knows better for me than i do for myself.We all need to remind ourselfes of that. Also, Dreamer, the reason was that i just never trusted them enough to meet them in real life. Not that any of them offered me personally, I just never got that far. If I had built a a connection, prayed about it, and felt They werent some phycho stalker then yeah i would have gladly met them. none of ones i talked too I liked very much and they didnt make any effort to get to know me, as I did them. All one sided and self absorbed mostly. I really hope you get better luck, I hear many success story's, mybe you'll be one of them

 

[KitKatMatt]

Thanks for sharing. i was thinking that'd be the case buy hmm surely there must be some suc ess stories heh.

You both mention that other then talking a bit you couldnt be convinced to meet them in life. without too much detail why was this? Was it that difficult to find someone mildly interesting?

The one's I've met were either too pushy about meeting, or suddenly stopped talking to me before we got to the point of wanting to set up a meeting.

It's not that there weren't interesting people, it's all about how they acted in conversation.

You don't know how it's going to be for you until you sign up and try it out!

 

[WiredSpirit]

I've tried OK Cupid and a local one and I think the local sites are always better.

If you get desperate enough there's always Craigslist.

 

[Dreamer88]

ah yeah. well i think ill see how i go i got work out in the bush for about 8 weeks so nothings happening for a while i think.

 

[TheApostleJohn]

It's a perfectly decent way of meeting people, especially for introverts. There's a huge percentage of bad people on the, but there's a huge percentage of bad people in the regular world too. A medium is only what you make of it.

 

[JohnnyBlack]

I just want to encourage you guys. I met my wife on a dating site about 3 years ago. We will be married for two years in October. The key for me was to stop stressing about finding "the one" and to focus on my relationship with God. Once I got that right and was ready, God did the rest

 

[DavidSkate]

I just want to encourage you guys. I met my wife on a dating site about 3 years ago. We will be married for two years in October. The key for me was to stop stressing about finding "the one" and to focus on my relationship with God. Once I got that right and was ready, God did the rest

Congrats! And thanks for the advice!

 

[BlueLioness]

I just want to encourage you guys. I met my wife on a dating site about 3 years ago. We will be married for two years in October. The key for me was to stop stressing about finding "the one" and to focus on my relationship with God. Once I got that right and was ready, God did the rest

Right now I'm single and I've had many dreams when I was asleep about meeting "the right one" -- I'm actually jealous because of all the boys (I'm a girl) that are on the Internet NONE of them has asked me out, so I kind of feel overlooked. Maybe it's because I'm Autistic?

So I've had to go after them and ask them out. It just makes me so frustrated.

I've gone to so many dating websites I can't count them. And looked at many pictures of boys I liked I can't count that either. It's just that when I've messaged them they overlook me and it's made me feel like an old candy wrapper.

Even looking at offline sources like dating within my own city.

It hasn't done me one bit of good.

Do you know what it feels like to not be wanted? It feels like pain and hollow sorrow. Some deep, black, dark, damp hole you've dug yourself into. It's a really crappy feeling.

I don't think it's funny. I mean, girls have feelings too.

Dating is not a game, I kind of know that, especially if it's going to lead to marriage.

It's a commitment between two people to love and cherish each other always, and it kind of needs to be take seriously.

 

[BlueLioness]

I just want to encourage you guys. I met my wife on a dating site about 3 years ago. We will be married for two years in October. The key for me was to stop stressing about finding "the one" and to focus on my relationship with God. Once I got that right and was ready, God did the rest

I think I'm going to go bananas because I've already tried to do this. I don't think it works very well either. I waited for 10 years for the right one to come along, and nothing happened, and you know why nothing happened? BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ONE.

YOU HAVE TO SAY SO SO THAT THEY KNOW.

And because of that, I'm the one whose gotta make the move!

 

[BlueLioness]

I just want to encourage you guys. I met my wife on a dating site about 3 years ago.

Wait wait waaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt...which website was it? What's the URL?

 

[BlueLioness]

It's a perfectly decent way of meeting people, especially for introverts. There's a huge percentage of bad people on the, but there's a huge percentage of bad people in the regular world too. A medium is only what you make of it.

Yeah I know, I'm Introverted too. You think that's bad if they want you to talk all the time?

I mean you know about any introverted men?

Extraversion and introversion - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[vanillakay]

Bluelioness HUGS to you!

Im sorry that you think because your autistic, that it means that is why a man doesn't want you. Iv heard many story's of women just like yourself with disabilities. know what happened to them?...That's right..They found love! I don't know anyone personally. mainly mybe articles iv read in magazines over the past few years and even some on tv. It can happen sweetie and know what I think personally?...Mybe because of your condition, God is saving someone special for you? never know right?..how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Jess4hope]

I've had my fair share of relationship disasters by dating online. I was young and foolish, but the main problem was I didn't focus on God. The guys I dated didn't share my faith or they claimed to, but their actions told a different story.

I met my current boyfriend, Kori, on a social network called MeetMe. Most people on there are only looking for hookups or one night stands, so I'm amazed someone like him stumbled across my profile. It had to be God's plan for us to be together. I only thought of him as a friend at first, but after the second time we were hanging out, I fell for him. He doesn't smoke, drink, or party; and since we've been dating I've eliminated all of these from my own life. He's been a good influence on me and I've opened his eyes to another side of living as well. We both come from a Christian background and our faith is on the same level. It brings us closer together. Kori and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary over the summer and I couldn't be happier.

Let God write your love story for you, because it's when we try to take control, we ultimately fail. It all has to be in his perfect timing, so stay patient, and pray for your future wife.

 

[DavidSkate]

Do you know what it feels like to not be wanted? It feels like pain and hollow sorrow. Some deep, black, dark, damp hole you've dug yourself into. It's a really crappy feeling.

First I would like to say that I've been single for about two years now after my ex-fiancé decided she wanted her career instead of a family. This is after 4.5 years of a relationship, a year into planning a wedding, 6 months away from the wedding, and one day after picking up her wedding dress from the bridal company. I was ready for the next step in my life and then it was all taken away from me. Everything I had worked for and thought "I" myself had earned.

After becoming a Follower of Jesus, I realized that being single isn't the worst thing at all. Yes, I do miss the companionship, and the feeling of being wanted by another person, and even just wanting to not go out to dinner alone. But, God has a plan for everyone. Just because things are not happening as fast as you would like doesn't mean God isn't working something for your good.

For me personally, I've been done with online dating for awhile. I'm ready to just continue the path I am on and letting God take over. (That's all he really wants from us anyway)

 

[Dreamer88]

Thats good to hear. think ill first right my relationship with god first because goodness knows ive been far less than a example of a christian so far especially these last 6mths.

Maybe after reigniting my relationship with christ then ill be able to take the next step rather than all at once. Alrrady found a nice church in the new area i moved to so kinda excited for next mass.