To the gentlemen: When considering women's clothing, what is your stumbling block?

[MoreCoffee]

 

[Gregory Thompson]

But i think .. what i was trying to say .. it's not so much the clothing . but the soul under the clothing of the body . the clothing just accentuates the effect of what is already percieved in the inner soul . that's why some can pull off an outfit and others cannot . some souls don't try to provoke people to lust at all . it's really a power game .. sometimes a matter of attention .. it's a subconscious part of the person .

the clothing itself is just a distraction in some cases but the verse doesn't actually address the deeper issue .. because most people are not aware of their own motives .. that deep . so that's why the rules were made up . in consideration of the men . that's it . if you don't care . then you don't care . honestly there's so many issues with church .. that i generally fellowship through empathy . i can't take in what is produced only in church environments . it makes me really sinful . but i'm sure i'll overcome it someday .

 

[daydreamergurl15]

I want to thank you guys for the response. It is very beneficial for me to know this because I don't want to be a stumbling block to guys because of my clothing. I know how visual you guys are and whatever I can do to minimize any type of lust, I am willing to do it withing reason.

To those who think it is somehow backwards to ask for the guys opinions, I understand that society say that I can wear whatever I want, I also know that I have the freedom too, but my goal is first and foremost is to honor God, to love and help my brothers and sisters in Christ and to love those around me. One of the ways I feel that I can do to help the brothers out is to know what it is that is causing them to sin, so that I won't be their stumbling block. I'm not asking this as someone who has an archaic way of thinking, I'm asking this as a sister in Christ to help my brothers in Christ. I also understand that the responsibility is also on the guys but if I can have a conversation with a man and they are not distracted or lusting after my "blessings" then I would consider it a good thing.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

i recall the passage that said .. for women to cultivate the inner person that is of great worth to God . i think that's the key . there's a physical element and a more subtle element .

the subtle element seems to really direct the heart . and the body seems to follow regardless of one's will

 

[daydreamergurl15]

Within reason.

 

[ViaCrucis]

I want to thank you guys for the response. It is very beneficial for me to know this because I don't want to be a stumbling block to guys because of my clothing. I know how visual you guys are and whatever I can do to minimize any type of lust, I am willing to do it withing reason.

To those who think it is somehow backwards to ask for the guys opinions, I understand that society say that I can wear whatever I want, I also know that I have the freedom too, but my goal is first and foremost is to honor God, to love and help my brothers and sisters in Christ and to love those around me. One of the ways I feel that I can do to help the brothers out is to know what it is that is causing them to sin, so that I won't be their stumbling block. I'm not asking this as someone who has an archaic way of thinking, I'm asking this as a sister in Christ to help my brothers in Christ. I also understand that the responsibility is also on the guys but if I can have a conversation with a man and they are not distracted or lusting after my "blessings" then I would consider it a good thing.

If a man is objectifying you, that's not your fault--that's his problem.

Our society has effectively told women that they are somehow responsible for the way men treat and objectify them; that is patently false. My lusts of the flesh are just that, mine, they are my problem. They are my sin, and God will judge me accordingly.

Men dumping their lustful thoughts as somehow the responsibility of women is a carry-over of the historic chauvinism of Western culture; it's a refusal to take responsibility for one's own thoughts and actions. It's as old as Adam, "Well, God, the woman made me do it!"

-CryptoLutheran

 

[sunlover1]

there's no christian terminology for it so i use vernacular language that is closest . in any case there is definitely a magnetism i notice before i even notice the person is there .

Thanks, I was concerned that you might be trying to mix Christianity with
Hinduism. It's a very common thang right now.. along with Christians
and reiki etc.
Mixing God's Spirit with the things of darkness.
counterfeits..

yeah . that's why fellowship doesn't go so deep on this site . if the blocking feature was like facebook in which the people you block also cannot see your posts . then it would be more conducive an atmosphere .

??
would you like me to block your posts?
(I'm confused.. because you did not address
anyone... or did you lol)

HELP!

 

[ananda]

If a man is objectifying you, that's not your fault--that's his problem.

Our society has effectively told women that they are somehow responsible for the way men treat and objectify them; that is patently false. My lusts of the flesh are just that, mine, they are my problem. They are my sin, and God will judge me accordingly.

Men dumping their lustful thoughts as somehow the responsibility of women is a carry-over of the historic chauvinism of Western culture; it's a refusal to take responsibility for one's own thoughts and actions. It's as old as Adam, "Well, God, the woman made me do it!"

-CryptoLutheran

 

[daydreamergurl15]

If a man is objectifying you, that's not your fault--that's his problem.

Our society has effectively told women that they are somehow responsible for the way men treat and objectify them; that is patently false. My lusts of the flesh are just that, mine, they are my problem. They are my sin, and God will judge me accordingly.

Men dumping their lustful thoughts as somehow the responsibility of women is a carry-over of the historic chauvinism of Western culture; it's a refusal to take responsibility for one's own thoughts and actions. It's as old as Adam, "Well, God, the woman made me do it!"

-CryptoLutheran

You are coming at me in a societal view and that is not my framework. I am not asking what I should wear so that guys will not objectify me--that is not my purpose. I am asking men, what am I wearing that is causing you to sin, so I know what I can do to make that struggle a lot easier for you. I understand that it is a two way street, but if I am wearing low tops where my breast is out in the open, then regardless if I'm ignorant of the fact that you're sinning and regardless if that is not my purpose, I am making it difficult for you and I have done my part to be a stumbling block.

I know that I can wear what I please, society have taught me that. My hope is to wear clothing that will both honor God and help out the guys. It is nothing if someone asks me to cover up my breast. I get no power or strength if my breasts are exposed so if someone come up to me and says "hey, I'm lusting because of what you're wearing" regardless if it is HIS fault that he lusted, if I can buy pieces of clothing that will help him in his struggles, then it's worth it.

I don't care about the idea of objectification. I didn't ask that question with that in mind nor have I ever felt pressure to wear certain things to please guys, I just want to help out my brothers in Christ.

 

[ananda]

I hear that some people lust after feet. Will you cover your feet at all times to prevent these people from lusting?

 

[daydreamergurl15]

I hear that some people lust after feet. Will you cover your feet at all times to prevent these people from lusting?

If you object to the fact that I want to help out my brothers in Christ, that's fine. But I'm not answering these types of questions, because it goes nowhere.

 

[ananda]

If you object to the fact that I want to help out my brothers in Christ, that's fine. But I'm not answering these types of questions, because it goes nowhere.

I don't object at all: I am merely sincerely curious as to the logical conclusion of how you would "make that struggle a lot easier for" all men.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

I don't object at all: I am merely sincerely curious as to the logical conclusion of how you would "make that struggle a lot easier for" all men.

I didn't say "for all men" I said for my brothers in Christ. If what I wear, causes them to stumble, then whatever it is depending upon me, I will try.

1 Corinthians 8:8-13

8 Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. 9 But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol's temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? 11 And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. 12 Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.​

 

[Messy]

It wouldn't matter to a blind man though.

 

[from scratch]

This is an area that I think most men struggle with. I know I do.

I agree, it can be very distracting when the worship leader is wearing something too revealing. I've had to turn away from the stage, or close my eyes, because I couldn't focus on God.

In general, use common sense. Don't wear things that are too revealing or too tight.

I'd like to thank you for being considerate of your brothers in Christ. Thats a rare trait in today's society.

I think it would be even greater if more people were healthy in their approach to life. So much of what I've been taught is nothing more that worldly social pressure even in the church. The church for instance has allowed the world to define Christian behavior. We mostly try to manipulate others to our desires. Don't dare say anything about one's clothing unless you want to draw unfriendly fire laden with emotion.

 

[from scratch]

Women's clothing only makes me stumble if my wife leaves them on the floor in the dark.
Come on guys. Are we really that easily distracted? I have noticed a visitor and new converts dressing inappropriate. But that's often because that's what they own. They usually learn and dress better later.
Perhaps we should practice looking people in the eye and not at their boobs?
It helps being old and in love. My head is not easily turned.

I was at wally world the other day and a guy had on a t-shirt that said Tell your boobs to quite staring at my eyes. And he was with a female assumed to escorted.

 

[from scratch]

If I may, I'm guessing you already know there's only so much you can do to help a brother to keep his mind pure. Some men are without help and will lust after a woman dressed in a cardboard box. I think modesty is equal to wearing something not meant to bring attention to yourself. Because all women are shapped differently, what may not be modest for one could be modest for the other and vice versa.

If a man is struggling with lust, no amount of clothing in the world will keep him from imagining what he shouldn't. I'd say use your best judgment and pray about it. God has the best answer to this question for you.

A woman's body may certainly turn me on. If she want a relationship with me of any kind she needs to have a usable mind that can think with more than physical charms.

 

[Hetta]

I didn't say "for all men" I said for my brothers in Christ. If what I wear, causes them to stumble, then whatever it is depending upon me, I will try.

So it doesn't matter if non-Christian guys stare at you?

 

[bornofGod888]

You are coming at me in a societal view and that is not my framework. I am not asking what I should wear so that guys will not objectify me--that is not my purpose. I am asking men, what am I wearing that is causing you to sin, so I know what I can do to make that struggle a lot easier for you. I understand that it is a two way street, but if I am wearing low tops where my breast is out in the open, then regardless if I'm ignorant of the fact that you're sinning and regardless if that is not my purpose, I am making it difficult for you and I have done my part to be a stumbling block.

I know that I can wear what I please, society have taught me that. My hope is to wear clothing that will both honor God and help out the guys. It is nothing if someone asks me to cover up my breast. I get no power or strength if my breasts are exposed so if someone come up to me and says "hey, I'm lusting because of what you're wearing" regardless if it is HIS fault that he lusted, if I can buy pieces of clothing that will help him in his struggles, then it's worth it.

I don't care about the idea of objectification. I didn't ask that question with that in mind nor have I ever felt pressure to wear certain things to please guys, I just want to help out my brothers in Christ.

For whatever it's worth, I have a great amount of respect for you and your godly manner.

 

[from scratch]

The main problem lies within the (men or women) who see the (men or women or food or alcohol or drugs or television or games or etc.) and act on their compulsion instead of controlling that compulsion.

The sight of food can cause some to gorge and commit gluttony. Is the problem the food, or the person?

The sight of alcohol can cause some to indulge and commit drunkenness. Is the problem the alcohol, or the person?

No matter how a woman might dress, it can still cause a man to lust. What is considered modest in one culture can be considered immodest in another culture. In the end, in order to stay modest while keeping in consideration all world cultures, one might have to consider dressing in a burkha - or not leaving one's house, because even the burkha might be considered immodest to some!

It is notable that Messiah warned only the person who commits perpetual, ongoing lusting for a married woman: "That whosoever continues-to-looketh on an married woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his/her heart." Mt 5:28. He is silent about those whom they lust after, and (in my interpretation), the use of the present participle in ἐπιθυμῆσαι shows that He is not condemning those who may happen upon a pretty married woman and begins to lust for her if they immediately realize their lusting and turn away from it.

Scripturally and strictly speaking, it is not adultery to lust after an unmarried woman, or for an unmarried or married man if one is an unmarried woman. In Biblical times, this was not considered adultery, as the unmarried woman did not yet belong to a husband, and men may have as many wives as they wished. Only married women cannot have any other besides their husbands, and that is why I believe Messiah singled out married women (γυναῖκ&#945 in Mt 5:28.

I think a guy can look with admiration of beauty and not sin while his body does involuntary things he can 't help.

So I see the question as when does it turn to sin? Since we aren't very healthy in this respect, it is a very real problem causing other problems.