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To the gentlemen: When considering women's clothing, what is your stumbling block?

Discussion in 'General Theology' started by daydreamergurl15, Aug 27, 2013.

  1. daydreamergurl15

    daydreamergurl15 Daughter of the King

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    This question goes out to the all the guys out there and I would really appreciate, if you can help me out.

    I don't have a problem with modesty per se, but I would like to know what type of clothing causes many of you guys to lust. I ask this because I'll be going through my closet soon, taking stuff out and trying to buy a better wardrobe and I want to keep my brothers in Christ in mind so I won't be a stumbling block for you. Even if you don't know me, I figured since guys are so visual, I can probably take your opinions into consideration and generalize it into the male community.

    And if you wondering why I ask this in the general theology forum, it is because of the issue of modesty. God, in His infinite wisdom, gave us women great principles on the way of which we should dress

    1 Timothy 2:9-10
    9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11​

    Proverbs 31:17
    17 She dresses herself with strength
    and makes her arms strong.​

    1 Peter 3:4
    1 Peter 3:4
    but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.​

    However there really aren't any "rules" or "standards" to go by with those verses, I don't know how to apply them to the actual clothing, so I was hoping if I can get a feel of what causes you guys to lust, I would know what to stay away from, within reason. --I'm not talking about that guy that is turned on by anything as long as the girl is walking and breathing.

    Scripture on this subject matter would be absolutely appreciated. :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2013
    Hetta likes this.
  2. from scratch

    from scratch Guest

    Clothing is a hiding device also use to manipulate others. When a woman dresses in a way that shows her charms inviting others to want more it is sin and causes sin. I quit going to a church because women sitting on the platform would wear low necks and repeatedly bend over giving a view of more. It came to the point I couldn't focus and worship. It wouldn't matter to a blind man though.
     
  3. Mazock

    Mazock Non-Pauline Believer in Yeshua

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    This is an area that I think most men struggle with. I know I do.

    I agree, it can be very distracting when the worship leader is wearing something too revealing. I've had to turn away from the stage, or close my eyes, because I couldn't focus on God.

    In general, use common sense. Don't wear things that are too revealing or too tight.

    I'd like to thank you for being considerate of your brothers in Christ. Thats a rare trait in today's society.
     
  4. justlikeThomas

    justlikeThomas Newbie

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    This is a great question. I love what you're doing. So before I answer your question, I just wanted to point out that this is a two way street. A woman may be wearing something really revealing, but the guy is also looking. The reason I say this is because although you might be wearing something a teeny tiny bit tight, short, revealing, etc, it's on the guy to control himself a bit. Just don't overdo it

    i honestly don't think there is anything wrong if you're wearing a form fitting pair of jeans (or pants/skirts in general) but if you can't bend over without worrying it'll tear, find a new pair. If you have to dance around for five minutes to close them... I'm sorry, those gotta go too.

    Skirts: depends how tall you are, but you should have a very comfortable range of motion without revealing what Victoria's Secret really is. A little longer than mid-thigh is pretty safe I would say for most girls. Mid-thigh sometimes works, use your judgement.

    Yoga pants/leggings/ whatever else they're called these days..... Leave those at home. Not for public. And no, wearing these doesn't mean you can wear a short skirt either.

    Tops: if you don't want anyone to touch it, don't let them see it. This is honestly the one thing I'm super strict about. I know it's harder for some of you more fortunate ladies, but lets be real here, it's not impossible to cover them up. I know plenty of ladies that are probably larger than you and do a great job at covering up, and they still have some smokin dresses.

    No matter what pants/skirt/shorts you're wearing, I shouldn't be able to tell you what color your underwear is. Nor should I be able to tell you what color your brassier is.

    I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to make you dress like you came from the 3rd century, because I'm not. You're a girl, right? Don't you check out other girls (don't lie I see you people do it more than guys). Just look at other people and see what they're wearing and see how it makes them look

    Also, I wanted to tell you again how much I love what you're doing here. Very admirable in a woman, and I can't stress this enough. (Are you learning from her, other ladies of the world? Because you should be!)
     
  5. Rev Randy

    Rev Randy Sometimes I pretend to be normal

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    Women's clothing only makes me stumble if my wife leaves them on the floor in the dark.
    Come on guys. Are we really that easily distracted? I have noticed a visitor and new converts dressing inappropriate. But that's often because that's what they own. They usually learn and dress better later.
    Perhaps we should practice looking people in the eye and not at their boobs?:doh:
    It helps being old and in love.;) My head is not easily turned.
     
  6. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Compassion is the basis of the teachings . Supporter

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    I've found when what is worn directs my eyes to a woman's "energy centres" or chakras . sometimes my head gets stuck in there for a little while . but i'm getting better at disconnecting immediately . it's an empathy thing . i don't think its the same for everyone .
     
  7. Rev Randy

    Rev Randy Sometimes I pretend to be normal

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  8. Stryder06

    Stryder06 Check the signature

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    If I may, I'm guessing you already know there's only so much you can do to help a brother to keep his mind pure. Some men are without help and will lust after a woman dressed in a cardboard box. I think modesty is equal to wearing something not meant to bring attention to yourself. Because all women are shapped differently, what may not be modest for one could be modest for the other and vice versa.

    If a man is struggling with lust, no amount of clothing in the world will keep him from imagining what he shouldn't. I'd say use your best judgment and pray about it. God has the best answer to this question for you.
     
  9. Rev Randy

    Rev Randy Sometimes I pretend to be normal

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    :thumbsup:Good post Stryder.
     
  10. sunlover1

    sunlover1 Beloved, Let us love one another

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    WTH?
    Have you now become Hindu?
    What does light have in common with darkness?
    Nada
     
    tall73 likes this.
  11. sunlover1

    sunlover1 Beloved, Let us love one another

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    ^_^
    How'd you get my family photo?!
     
  12. Rev Randy

    Rev Randy Sometimes I pretend to be normal

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    Maybe he just likes the looks of those hindu women;)
     
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  13. Rev Randy

    Rev Randy Sometimes I pretend to be normal

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    Some fine lookin' gals in yer family err? ;)I have a pic of their husbands too
    [​IMG]
     
  14. ananda

    ananda Early Buddhist & Gnostic Christian

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    The main problem lies within the (men or women) who see the (men or women or food or alcohol or drugs or television or games or etc.) and act on their compulsion instead of controlling that compulsion.

    The sight of food can cause some to gorge and commit gluttony. Is the problem the food, or the person?

    The sight of alcohol can cause some to indulge and commit drunkenness. Is the problem the alcohol, or the person?

    No matter how a woman might dress, it can still cause a man to lust. What is considered modest in one culture can be considered immodest in another culture. In the end, in order to stay modest while keeping in consideration all world cultures, one might have to consider dressing in a burkha - or not leaving one's house, because even the burkha might be considered immodest to some!

    It is notable that Messiah warned only the person who commits perpetual, ongoing lusting for a married woman: "That whosoever continues-to-looketh on an married woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his/her heart." Mt 5:28. He is silent about those whom they lust after, and (in my interpretation), the use of the present participle in ἐπιθυμῆσαι shows that He is not condemning those who may happen upon a pretty married woman and begins to lust for her if they immediately realize their lusting and turn away from it.

    Scripturally and strictly speaking, it is not adultery to lust after an unmarried woman, or for an unmarried or married man if one is an unmarried woman. In Biblical times, this was not considered adultery, as the unmarried woman did not yet belong to a husband, and men may have as many wives as they wished. Only married women cannot have any other besides their husbands, and that is why I believe Messiah singled out married women (γυναῖκα) in Mt 5:28.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2013
  15. Rev Randy

    Rev Randy Sometimes I pretend to be normal

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    sunlover1 likes this.
  16. sunlover1

    sunlover1 Beloved, Let us love one another

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    Hmmmm :O
    Whatever you do, don't google "hindu woman" and hit "images"
    *shudders

    Beggars can't be choosy lol

    :preach:
    It is written..errr, sang! lol.
    Besides, according to Verse 2,
    the boys are too busy doing the "boogiewoogie"
    on the corner.
    :cool:
     
  17. ViaCrucis

    ViaCrucis De profundis clamavi et exaudisti me.

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    The kind that women wear.

    Seriously, and I don't think I'm misspeaking here, anything women wear can get the wheels in our heads spinning. Wear a burqa and our imaginations can still run wild.

    The problem isn't with what women wear, the problem is human nature: Sin.

    -CryptoLutheran
     
  18. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Compassion is the basis of the teachings . Supporter

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    there's no christian terminology for it so i use vernacular language that is closest . in any case there is definitely a magnetism i notice before i even notice the person is there .
     
  19. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Compassion is the basis of the teachings . Supporter

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    yeah . that's why fellowship doesn't go so deep on this site . if the blocking feature was like facebook in which the people you block also cannot see your posts . then it would be more conducive an atmosphere .
     
  20. MoreCoffee

    MoreCoffee Well-Known Member

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    One is quite tall and it is so hard to find a good frock ;)

    :p:p:p
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2013
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