• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

Tired of Struggling

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LynneClomina

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doofus125 said:
The church has done nothing but condemed me....so tell me, why do I want anything to do with christianity?
really, bill? the church is simply those who name the Name of Christ. that includes us. what about all of us here who love and care about you? some of who have even come out of such a life?.... do you feel condemned by us, too?

i think the devil is attacking you right now bill. please dont give up and give in.you can make it through, not on your own strength but God's.

and y'know, hell would be a lot worse - and a loooot longer - than the painful struggle that you are facing in your life - a life which is temporal and comparatively fleeting, even tho its totally painful. we get through by keeping our eyes on the hope - the sure hope - of eternety with Christ, when there are no more tears and pain....

:groupray:
 
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mrshoward

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Bill, I've been reading this thread and weeping for you. I am a drug-addict, alcoholic bisexual and I've been set free from all of that, although sometimes I do struggle with sexual thoughts about women. I've been willing to stand up in my church and tell people this too, that God loves me and has forgiven me. I am so sorry you haven't found any support in your church. But we on this board do care about you, and I am praying for you. You've really touched my heart and I will check this thread daily until we hear from you again.
 
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Lael_Rapier

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Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours





Lyrics from Casting Crowns Who Am I
 
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doofus125

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A very good old friend of mine has started calling me and inviteing me to come over and hang out. In the last week we've hung out 4 times and have just done stupid stuff. I'm not really sure why he has been calling me so much and wanting to hang out. I can remember 10 months ago he came to me and told me he just wanted to end his life, but this time he's different. He's in the word, he's praying, and he's been reading alot and I can see the huge change in him, he's matured alot. The only reason I can think of why he would even want to hang out with me is because I told a friend of both of ours the direction I am going. I can remember how he used to act about my struggle and now it's totally different. Could prayers have been answered? I'm suposta go over to his appartment tonight....he called me last night after I went to bed and my cell phone ringer was turned off so he left me a voicemail saying he wanted to ask me something and that we would get together and talk more so I'm kinda nervous about that. Anyways, I've just been really empty since I have left the church and now all I seem to want to do is sleep and I've been on the edge of tears for days now. Something is missing and I just don't know how to find it now because it's been shreaded and destroyed and picking up the pieces has become such a prideful thing of anger. I'm so frustrated with the church & christians that I want nothing to do with them, yet I still am longing for something there. Which way I'm going is still unknown but for now my heart is opening to things I've walked away from.
 
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herev

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doofus125 said:
A very good old friend of mine has started calling me and inviteing me to come over and hang out. In the last week we've hung out 4 times and have just done stupid stuff. I'm not really sure why he has been calling me so much and wanting to hang out. I can remember 10 months ago he came to me and told me he just wanted to end his life, but this time he's different. He's in the word, he's praying, and he's been reading alot and I can see the huge change in him, he's matured alot. The only reason I can think of why he would even want to hang out with me is because I told a friend of both of ours the direction I am going. I can remember how he used to act about my struggle and now it's totally different. Could prayers have been answered? I'm suposta go over to his appartment tonight....he called me last night after I went to bed and my cell phone ringer was turned off so he left me a voicemail saying he wanted to ask me something and that we would get together and talk more so I'm kinda nervous about that. Anyways, I've just been really empty since I have left the church and now all I seem to want to do is sleep and I've been on the edge of tears for days now. Something is missing and I just don't know how to find it now because it's been shreaded and destroyed and picking up the pieces has become such a prideful thing of anger. I'm so frustrated with the church & christians that I want nothing to do with them, yet I still am longing for something there. Which way I'm going is still unknown but for now my heart is opening to things I've walked away from.
We're still praying with you daily Bill, how can I help you find a church?
 
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doofus125

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At the point that I was ready to go back he took her away from me why did she have to die why, God why did you take her!!!!!!!!!!! Someone very close to me died yesterday and I am a complete wreck. My aunt who was more like my friend died yesterday morning and I am so angry at God. It's 3:30am and all I can do is sit here and be angry because I am in shock and I just don't know what to do. The last time I remember someone close to me dieing was my grandmother and I was 11-12 years old so I don't really remember that much. I saw her lying there on the bathroom floor dead and I just freaked out and it's all I can see in my mind.
 
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LynneClomina

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hi bill! good to see you around again, bro. :hug:

of course you know it's a right relationship with Jesus that will fill you, and its NEVER to late to restore that relationship. there is NOTHING that can separate us from the love of God, not even YOU. if you turn to Him again, you will find Him again holding His arms out for you like the prodigal son's father. don't ever give up.

and y'know, sometimes it takes a person seeing someone they know fall or go downhill before they realize where they have failed to do/be what Christ asked of them. maybe that's the case with your friend. maybe it's a second chance for him too! :)

blessings on ya :hug:
lynne
 
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herev

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doofus125 said:
At the point that I was ready to go back he took her away from me why did she have to die why, God why did you take her!!!!!!!!!!! Someone very close to me died yesterday and I am a complete wreck. My aunt who was more like my friend died yesterday morning and I am so angry at God. It's 3:30am and all I can do is sit here and be angry because I am in shock and I just don't know what to do. The last time I remember someone close to me dieing was my grandmother and I was 11-12 years old so I don't really remember that much. I saw her lying there on the bathroom floor dead and I just freaked out and it's all I can see in my mind.
So sorry, Bill, I will be praying
 
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doofus125

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I haven't posted in a while even though I have written countless posts and then just erased them. Now I'm ready to speak again. I will never be the same. I will never have the compassion and kindness that I have had in the past. I just want to say thank you first of all for those of you who have befriended me here. I also want to say to all the christians on here and those who I know in person that have been complete jerks towards me....I want to say thank you to them for turning me into the nasty person I have become (if you didn't figure it out I'm being sarcastic when I say thank you). I just told the few friends that I have kept in contact with that they will no longer be hearing from me. I don't know why I have kept them, maybe because they were the only one's that ever paid any attention to me even when it was on a rare occasion. There has been one person that I am about to say goodbye to and he is the only person that it even hurts to cut off because I know it will hurt him. I'm cutting everyone off, I will not be used, lied to, or hurt ever again. Don't tell me what about the good times because there were a whole lot more bad than good. As I distance myself from people and everything around me I will eventually disapear and never be heard from again. I have no use for people, I have no use for "god" either. You can save your prayers because there is nothing to pray for anymore and there is nothing to talk about. When I say this I say this in general, but when you all encounter someone in your life who when you look at them you can see they just need a friend to hang out with or someone to talk to, I hope that you stop and MAKE THE TIME even if it is such a huge inconvience and be a good friend to them because you may be the only person that even truely cares if they exist.
 
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Rosa Mystica

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Bill,

You keep switching your icon from atheist to Christian, and then back again. What are you, if you don't mind my asking?

You know, I have plenty of experience w/ being mad at God myself (if you only knew how often I screamed at Him :mad: ). I might be able to relate to that sentiment quite well. Why not talk to me? I'm always willing to share my insights w/ you. :)
 
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kingzjewel

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dude!
please take a minute and think before you hurt yourself like this. i understand the hurt and pain people can bring into your life, believe me. cutting yourself off just makes you more dead inside. we need each other that's why there are so many people in the world. seems to me you have enough people who arent hurting you to fill your time with... you dont have to cut off everyone...just the ones who hurt you. please please try and come to a better solution than this!

and just for the record. im STILL PRAYING FOR YOU.
 
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Awake

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"Twenty-six years and seems like I've just begun
To understand my, my intimate is no one
When the director sold the show, who bought its last rites?
They cut the cast, the music, and the lights

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

Twenty-six years end, still speaking in these tongues
Such revelations while understood by no one
When the new actor stole the show, who questioned his grace?
Please clear the house of ill-aquired taste

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

Give me something, give me something
Give me something, give me something
Give me something, give me something real

I lay strewn across the floor, can't solve this puzzle
Everyday another small piece can't be found
I lay strewn across the floor, pieced up in sorrow
The pieces are lost, these pieces don't fit
Pieced together incomplete and empty

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone"

You're not the only one who has thought this way or has tried this. Go ahead and try it if you wish but I must tell you that being totally isolated and alone is worse than getting hurt. All you wind up doing is dwelling on the bad things that have happened which makes you feel even more jaded, depressed, and bitter. Been there, tried that.
 
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