I had no plan to upload my testimony here because I can't express myself in English. However, I strongly felt that the Holy Spirit kept urging me to tell people here suffering from OCD how the Lord Jesus healed me. I wrote my first writing in English on the internet, for testimony is to express the glory of God, not myself. I prayed to God that you all sees God’s power and his love, not my own story while reading my testimony.
I had suffered from OCD for nearly 30 years, which means that I had never lived a normal life until God healed me several months ago. Checking, demanding reassurances and arranging items in a specific way had worn me out. I was the only irregular church goer, but God always sustained me, so that I was barely able to survive even though OCD had completely thwarted my passion and plans for life.
It took so long for me to recognize the fact that I was an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patient. I just imputed my struggle to my lack of self-control or a character flaw although sometimes I thought something was surely wrong with me. Despite repetitive failure, I was proud before God. Then, I never thought I needed God’s help in order to still the severe storm inside me. It was only after I found the fact that an sufferer cannot defeat OCD at all that I became desperate and humble, and surrendered to the LORD. I read the testimonies that through fasting and prayer, the Holy Spirit completely healed so many terminal patients. So I was sure that my creator, God would also set me free if I tried it. I started my first fasting at prayer centre, where service was held 5 times a day everyday, but I got skeptical on the first day of fasting because I was too weak to pray. I thought only fasting was nothing without prayer and petition so that I decided to quit. Till then, I had never heard God’s voice and regarded that kind of experience as something supernatural for only a few special and spiritual people. But I was wrong. ‘God tells the poor in heart who is desperate and humble.’ I heard the voice of God in my chest soon after I gave up fasting. ‘You do not believe me about this!’ The voice inside me, but it was not my voice. I had never heard auditory hallucinations nor another voice from my heart. Except OCD, I was the kind of person who was rational and cool-headed. I was amazed and asked “Is it God?”, “I don’t believe you about this? Are you saying about fasting?”. Then, God assured me three times in different ways that I had to fast and pray and I resumed fasting and prayer. On the third day, I vomited violently over and over again so that I could not attend services at all and I was afraid if I would end up in the hospital, but, I did not give up for it was God’s will. I repented for pride and foolishness. And I couldn’t help but confess that I was the one who crucified Jesus and mocked him, neither the chief priests nor the Roman soldiers. During the break between services, I flicked open the Bible with inattention and Mark5:34 came into sight. “Your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Right at that moment, I realized that the Lord Jesus completely healed me so that my lifelong suffering was over at last. Early childhood onset, long history, no social life, ……. There was no hope, but God had mercy on me just like he led Israel out of bondage of Egypt. Hallelujah! I didn’t know what it means exactly whenever Christians cried "Hallelujah!". But now I also can shout “Hallelujah! My God is the only true God and Jesus Christ is my LORD!” with all my heart.
My dear brothers and sisters, please take note of this:
Jesus wants to heal you. That's why he was cruicified.
"the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.(Isaiah 53:5b) "
Jesus wants to set you free. That's why he came to this world.
" He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, (Luke 4:18b)"
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)"
'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. (Jeremiah 33:3) '
