theology related jokes

[brinny]

Roflolol!!!!!!

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

Do ya know what the early churches favorite car was?

A Honda.


The Bible says several times that they were all in one Accord.

Reminds me of this movie scene

Lethal Pie Fight - Killer klowns from outer space - YouTube


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[brinny]

ROFLOLOLOL!!!! that's nutz!!!!

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

Three pastors were sitting around talking about a problem they all shared with bats in their belfry's.

The first pastor sighed, "I went up there with a can of spray and only managed to fumigate myself".

The second pastor said, "I went up there with a shotgun and only succeeded in blasting a hole in the side of the building."

The third pastor said, "I went up there and baptized them and I haven't seen them since!"

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[from scratch]

Being raised a Southern Baptist, I once noted a slight change in one verse of the Bible. Matthew 18:20 reads, Where ever two or more are gathered in my name, they will form four committees.

Once noted over the door to the church nursery: First Corinthians 15:51b
We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed

Not limited to the SoBaps, I know of a single woman's group who used Romans 1:3a as their motto:
I would not have you ignorant brethren

Love the last one!

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

He lifted the bread into the air just when one of His disciples burst into the room.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" the disciple apologized, "But thanks be to God I made it in time."

Then he received, with the others, pieces of the bread, and they gave thanks.

"Praise be to God for this wondrous bread," the late disciple said, "Which symbolizes Jesus Christ!"

"...Jesus?" said He, "I am Brian."

In the Upper Room, Jesus lifted the bread into the air just when one of His disciples burst into the Upper Room.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" the disciple apologized, "But thanks be to God I made it in time."

Then he received, with the others, pieces of the bread, and they gave thanks.

"Praise be to God for this wondrous bread," the late disciple said, "Which symbolizes Jesus Christ!"

"...Symbolizes?" said He, "I think you're in the wrong room. You want Brian."

Must be a RC joke


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[LittleLambofJesus]

One day in heaven, there was a huge party. Everywhere there were Jews, Muslims, Christians, Mormons, JWs, and SDAs
The party was grand! A child noticed a huge partition off to the side and tugged on Jesus' sleeve and asked: "Jesus, what's behind that large partition?"
"Oh," responded Jesus, "that's the Catholics. They think they're the only ones here."


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[LittleLambofJesus]

Three pastors were sitting around talking about a problem they all shared with bats in their belfry's.

The first pastor sighed, "I went up there with a can of spray and only managed to fumigate myself".

The second pastor said, "I went up there with a shotgun and only succeeded in blasting a hole in the side of the building."

The third pastor said, "I went up there and baptized them and I haven't seen them since!"

Sounds like the first pastor was a Catholic, the 2nd one was an SDA, and the 3rd one was a Mormon, who probably held them down too long ehehe......

Nightwing (1979) trailer - YouTube


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[LittleLambofJesus]

Originally Posted by Archie the Preacher

Being raised a Southern Baptist, I once noted a slight change in one verse of the Bible. Matthew 18:20 reads, Where ever two or more are gathered in my name, they will form four committees.

Once noted over the door to the church nursery: First Corinthians 15:51b
We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed

Not limited to the SoBaps, I know of a single woman's group who used Romans 1:3a as their motto:
I would not have you ignorant brethren
​

Love the last one!

Me too.

Chivalry isn't dead yet



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[LittleLambofJesus]

A good thread to lighten up GT a bit.......

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!"
A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'"
The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam."
The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish.
The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way."
He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish.
He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the dam potatoes!"

 

[brinny]

A good thread to lighten up GT a bit.......

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!"
A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'"
The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam."
The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish.
The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way."
He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish.
He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the dam potatoes!"

ROFLOLOLOL!!!!!! Oh hep meeee i cain't breeeeathe

 

[brinny]

A man who was from a rather rough background was recently converted. His pastor asks him to get up before the church to give his testimony. This man was a man of few words, so he gives a brief account of his conversion. Then he says Well that's what happened, what the h*** else do ya' want me to say?

(it's a true story).