The trial that has become a thorn.Read this and plz respond.

[One day at a time]

I know when I have done too much I start to sweat and tremble. The frustrating thing is it doesn't take much to do that. Some days just getting out of bed to make coffee, or take the dog out. Once in a while I can wash a few dishes or maybe cook a simple something if I can sit down. That is my guide. When we go to church, I have to walk in and make sure I don't stand too much and if someone wants to talk I have to find a chair. So I have that down pretty well--as far as limits go. But don't you feel like you just don't do enough? That you are disappointing people/spouse/family? I was used to being a "supermom" so to speak and I think that is what my family wishes I still was. But when I try---I regret it afterward. I also know when I push myself too much (which I have)---I can't help but cry.
Sorry that I am so back and forth....it must be one of those weeks. I find that I have them after we have been busy and pushing more than I should.
I have found that I have learned things---about God, about myself, about others....now it is what do I do with it? So does/have God brought others into your life to minister to....through all of this? (Besides talking to me of course) I have found that I have several on here that I talk to and seem to need some guidance (young people in their 20's)--which I never thought that I would have an impact on or help at least. I'm trying to take this from a downer to an encouragement.

 

[pumanator]

I learned this week at mens study that my questioning and comments from the gut with no punches pulled has actually been used by God in one way or another depending on the person and what we were studying (thought I was just fussing and complaining >.<).
I found out this week that I am not alone in my struggle with physical pain...guys are particularly tough nuts to crack...soooo...we both are seeking meaning and purpose on this plain of suffering...it's no coincidence we are at the same place asking the same question...it gets back to the op. I am seriously thinking about looking into starting a group using a program that Joni Erickson has established. The church down the hill my wife like to attend has a monthly Bible study that is geared towards ppl with chronic illness and pain/disabilities. You and I "get it"...who better to pull ppl out of the shadows and to or back to church to "comfort other with the comfort God has given us".

As to doing...been doing since I was 10, always worked and even when it came to hobbies and rec I was type A. I am learning that God wants me to be and let Him do through me if I am willing to surrender...mans thats a tough word.

Gonna post a daily from my wifes church...she/we go there sunday morning and I go local mtn calvary for wednesday and mens study...yea, I know, that's messed up...whole nether painful story.

 

[pumanator]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]This is cut and paste from my daily devotion from our church.
Friday, September 11, 2009

A Full Life[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]&#8212; Philippians 3:8[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Today people are thinking about what to do to prolong their lives, whether it is through stem cell research, cloning, cryonics, or the latest potion or lotion. I find myself laughing at some of the things I see advertised with the implication they will help me live longer. I realize that people can eat all the tofu and wheat germ they want, but their lives will end when they are going to end.

Yet some people become obsessed with the concept of living longer. According to a LIFE magazine cover story, there are some scientists who suggest that we can and will stop aging. But the article went on to ask whether we would really want to stop aging. In other words, do we really want to live forever? I guess it comes down to what kind of life you are living. Medical science can seek to add years to your life, but only God can add life to your years and give you a life that is worth living.

Our objective as Christians should not be to merely live long lives; our objective should be to live full lives, meaningful lives, and purposeful lives.

Jim Eliot is one example of a Christian who did this. As a young man, he felt God was calling him to take the gospel to a tribe in Ecuador then known as the Auca. Tragically, Jim was martyred along with four other missionaries in their attempt to share the gospel. Jim once wrote in his journal, "I seek not a long life, but a full one, like you, Lord Jesus." That is a good thought: Life is not a matter of years; it is a matter of what we do with them. What are you doing with the years God has given you? [/FONT]



[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Have Pastor Greg's devotions blessed you? Write and tell him!
Greg@harvest.org[/FONT]

 

[One day at a time]

Thanks for putting that little devotional in here. We were once in a mission conference with one of Jim Eliot's co-missionary's wife. Her husband had been one of the men that were killed (and for the life of me I can't remember her name!---ugh...that is frustrating.) She had written a book called something about yellow bird....I will find it somewhere....anyway.....it is amazing how God used them. Also one of our mission director friends has the spear that the Indian used and had met the man and Jim Eliot's son in a conference. (Sorry for the sidetrack)

So this is what I read this morning in my devotions. Taken from My Utmost for His Highest.
"There are times in spiritual life when there is confusion and it is no way out to say that there ought not to be confusion. It is not a question of right and wrong, but a question of God taking you by a way which in the meantime you do not understand, and it is only by going through the confusion that you will get at what God wants."

"Stand off in faith believing that what Jesus said is true, though in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you ask."

Thought that was pretty good....at least for me since I feel like that is part of the problem. I am going to have to go and check out Joni's site!

 

[pumanator]

Confusion...mmm...where do I go from here is what I have been asking...the elders in the mens group seem to sense that God is getting ready to do something in me and through me...I have worked at dangerous jobs most of my life fearlessly, foolishly pressing the edge of the evelop...and paid, not once but 3 times being left with a body worn out before its time...and this...trusting God (and I know it would be for HIS glory) frightens me...no control...no more controlling the direction...just along for the ride...the passenger...not the driver...is it pride...stubborness...cowardice...little of all...

I think I am ready for my life to count for God (man thats one long dark tunnel ahead).

 

[pumanator]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Monday, September 14, 2009

Unlikely Instruments[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now Stephen, a man full of God's grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]&#8212; Acts 6:8[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Stephen, the first martyr of the church, died at an early age. Some might look at the way he died and think, What a waste! But in the words of Jim Elliot, another young martyr for the faith, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

What kind of person does God look for to use for His glory? What qualifies a person to be selected by God to be His instrument? Is it a towering intellect or how many PhDs a person has on the wall? Do you have to be physically attractive? Do you need to be a born leader? How about someone who is a little timid? What about the person who isn't the most physically attractive? What about people whom many would classify as ordinary? Is there a place for someone like that?

I would suggest to you there is. Because one of the things that stands out from the pages of Scripture is that God seems to go out of His way to use people whom you'd never imagine He would. And if my life is evidence of anything, it is evidence of that.

So why does God do this? We find the answer in 1 Corinthians 1:27&#8211;29:

Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.​

God is looking for unexpected people to use for His glory. Are you willing to be one of them? [/FONT]



[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Have Pastor Greg's devotions blessed you? Write and tell him![/FONT]

 

[pumanator]

Are we unlikely instruments? Does God want to use us?

 

[pumanator]

Gregory completed the quiz "Which US President are you?" with the result Harry Truman.
You are the epitome of a natural born leader. You likley come from simple beginnings and although you have excelled at most things you put your hand to, ...you have not forgotten your beginnings. You are a mature individual, enjoy the arts, appreciate family and are comfortable in your own skin. You're never afraid to say: "the buck stops here!"

Thought this was a little on the freaky side considering whats going on. This from my face book, one of the silly quizes...sep, its eerie how close to the mark it hits.

Well...do you facebook...if so I would be willing to send you a pm with my FB addy.

 

[One day at a time]

yeah...I facebook....go ahead and send it--thanks--I have a few friends from CF on there--a select few that is!

I have taken several of these quizzes and it is true how accurate they can be. I've not taken this one but it would be interesting one to take.
So being confused and not knowing what is next---it seems that this is usually the case. Well, maybe not so much confused but what is it You want me to do Lord? is more like it. At least it was when I was more mobile---and now....I'm still questioning, looking, seeking to do what He wants from a different level--the chair! My conclusion---this, writing, reading and sharing. My kids are growing up and asking my advice (now that they understand that I do know some things ) --I have been able to have some good spiritual "talks" with others on here. Some giving advice--some taking---some sharpening of my iron. I am helping my sister in law with some devotionals for her middle school group at church. And recently, am trying to venture out to a ladies Bible study as well....that maybe my 2 cents worth will be something. But I still feel like I need a bit more stretching----it is in the back of my mind and it will eventually make it's way out in God's timing.

I can understand about the control---especially for a man---even though a woman still has some of those issues too! But don't look at it as a long dark tunnel---think of it as a wild water ride--something adventurous....the surprises that splash up over the edge! Just hang on tight so you don't fall out when it happens!

(I was trying to find one with rafting or something but thought the rock climbing one would work too!)

I also read something this week about how we naturally want to think of things logically....but in the spiritual--logic can't be used---it just isn't logical! And I thought how true that is---all of this is illogical....but God knows and understands and that is all we need. Illogical and unlikely that is what we are!

Again, thanks for the words of encouragement that you are posting...from the devotionals--they are good!

 

[pumanator]

Logic...thats me to a tee...fix it, over think it, engineer perfection even though I keep telling myself "it's good enough, leave it be".
Didn't post yesterday due to epic fail...got into a heated argument with my son about not taking care of his responsibilities at home...did my imitation of Mt St Helens when he tried playing his mom/my wife for sympathy because she is the original soft touch...not good...have gotten into it with him before but this felt like failure on a grand scale..."if a man can not manage his home, how can he manage the things of God in the church" >.<

For you, sounds like God is using on multiple fronts. All I can say to your being faithful to what He has given you is BRAVISSIMO.

 

[One day at a time]

Ah....but it's not me.....I can't take credit for anything. God has to show me that all the time. Pride is an issue with me...so I have to toss it aside all the time---failing constantly. I'm one of those goody two shoes type persons....which my family thinks is hilarious for some odd reason! So I have to watch myself all the time in that way. Not saying that I'm always good.....but my personality runs along the lines of follow the rules and stay on the line type of thing.
I say all of that--but know too about being a St. Helen myself (once in a great while)--at least when my daughter was living at home and knew how to push my buttons like no other could! But you got God's grace and mercy......

Ok so I have some more quotes for you from the other day. Not sure which book I took this out of since I'm reading like 4 or 5 of them all at the same time...and I didn't mark it.
"Being thankful in the midst of chaos is always a challenge." "But as you discipline your heart to the truth and choose to be thankful for what He has done--your obedience will kick up a breeze of the Spirit's breath in your life."
"A thankful heart is your best first step, a step that begins to give your sanity back as you wait for God's work to be done."

I like the part where it says it will kick up a breeze of the Spirit's breath in your life.....that is an encouragement in and of itself.

Keep plugging along is all I can say!

 

[pumanator]

...funny...you should touch on thankfulness...have to be reminded daily to be thankful and to take warning not to be ungrateful. This week has been a little piece of hell at home, work and physically...but there are things in that to be thankful for. Getting ready to go to mens study and really don't want to but know I need too. This weekend is my folks...we are 100 &#37; diametrical to each other on the topics of, what else, religion and politics and looks as though I will have to take some time off to watch over my mom while my step dad recovers from knee surgery...prayers appreciated.

same bat channel...just a little later

 

[One day at a time]

Will be praying for you......I know it is not always easy to take care of someone you don't always agree with!

So I read this statement in a book and I didn't want to go back and read over all our posts...but the person wrote..... "I choose joy." Another one of those things that has stuck in my head. I try and make it a priority to say every day....that and thankfulness and praise.

Hope all will be well in your bat cave!! OH which reminds me---we found out that we have bats (like over 100) in our attic!! So I guess I am the one living in a bat cave!

 

[pumanator]

Oh man, thats just wrong, I've heard of infestations of various critters but that's really out there. Have been killin' widows in my house and they are not suppose to be up at this altitude...I hate spiders...actually, fear is more like it...not afraid of doing jobs that could and in some incidences nearly killed me but show me a black widow, brown recluse and I'm so gone there's little but a vapor of where I was standin'.

Thanx for prayer...gettin' beat real good..."do not become weary in doing good for if stay the course you will be rewarded in due season"...quitin's easy, onward and upward takes grit.

 

[One day at a time]

Now down here--to find a black widow is not that uncommon. My nephew collects them....don't know why!! He ended up having a jar of one that laid an egg sac and then little ones crawling all over in the jar--my girls had a fit! So he took it out and put it in his truck. But he is so used to working around them--he did air/heat conditioners so he would have to crawl under houses. Anyway....you can survive a bite if it ever came to that. A teacher in our school got bit when she was out at recess--she ended up in the hospital for a couple of days but she was fine! That was all said for your encouragement!!
We could hear scratching but we thought it was squirrels--then one night they were outside and saw them leaving out house--so they counted! So now we have to figure out how to get rid of them.......

You're Welcome for the prayers.....I have plenty of time! Keep on keeping on and you will be blessed!

 

[One day at a time]

Hope all is going well! It's been a little while since we have written!! So this past week has been about the mountain tops and the valleys. How we can't stay up on the mountain but have to live in the valleys....it was just what I needed for the week!

 

[pumanator]

...crash and burn...got past over for an office job...didn't even get an interview within my dist. Winter is upon me and there is so much I have yet to do...just so overwhelmed...just want to quit...how much longer Lord till we get to come home....

 

[One day at a time]

Sorry that you got passed over. But don't give up!! Remember He never gives us more than we can handle.....I don't say that flippantly either. It has been a pretty tough month for us too and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Keep praising

I will pray that God gives you grace. His grace is sufficient!!

Oh, I found this smiley and thought it funny!

It's title is pimp my wheelchair! Hahaha....this is what I ride in!!

 

[pumanator]

hmm..lol. better today...only 24hrs to get over disappointment this outing...thats a record considering how big it was...but now I am ready I think to trust Him to move us, change my job, take care of us...the ppl on our access road have drug their feet all summer again and we still do not have a new snow blower to do the road with...I am more afraid of what the snow will bring than the changes the Lord wants to do.

 

[One day at a time]

Well, I guess we will pray that the Lord will bring someone along to plow your road and take care of that for you!! He can do it!
I'm glad that you are getting over your disappointment....I guess we will just wait and see what God is going to be doing and bringing into your life!