This happens to me a lot. I have something on my heart that I need to discuss, but I don't where where. So, I'm sticking this one here, and let the mods move it if they feel necessary.
About me: suffered a lot of emotional abuse and neglect growing up. Eventually I decided to get over it with God's help.
About this church: the same, except for the getting over it. It started out as a radical church all about discipleship and the Great Commission, but the leader fell hard into the sin of pride. The fish rotted from the head, and the whole church culture became deeply toxic. Hierarchical, bullying, and unwilling to listen.
This was many years ago. They're still traumatized. They've fallen into the worldly mentality of safe spaces and the Cult of Nice. This prevents any spiritual growth whatsoever. They're so concerned with avoiding feeling the pain of their wounds that their wounds cannot heal at all.
On the outside, this is a lukewarm church. It seems to serve no Biblical purpose. It is fully and deeply committed to mediocrity at all costs. On the inside, it is a church trapped in spiritual bondage. Most of its sins are sins of omission, and this let them decieve themselves that they have no great sins. The only time I've seen any fire in the belly in when people get defensive. They have no love, only fear. They have no courage, no rationality, no curiosity. Their idea of evangelism is to try bring back the fallaways by making whatever compromises are demanded. In the name of compassion, they refuse to anything that would lead to real healing. The wounds fester untreated. Time does not heal all wounds. Cowardice does not heal any wounds.
I've given up on church shopping. Every church is defective in some way. I want to try to grow where I am, to do God's work where I am. If I don't confront this problem, I'll just confront someother problem sonewhere else. Or the same problem. This church has become so much like the dead, angst-ridden churches out there that I can't tell the difference anymore. It makes me wonder how all these other churches got that way. Maybe they too once had zeal not based on knowledge.
Their idea of being loving is to avoid harshness. jesus was plenty harsh when it was called for, but they think harshness is bad because they got so much of it. I've tried to explain that was never the real issue, but they just can't hear it. Now everyone is afraid to say anything much, for fear of setting someone else off. They call this love. It's not love. It's fear. Fear is all they can feel. They just call it by other names. What they call discipleship is fear. What they call grace is fear. What they call compassion is fear. What they call maturiy is fear. What they call civility is fear. They fear each other, and they fear themselves, and they fear the world.
I'm disgusted with them. They are deeply neurotic, and enabling each other. I cannot grow through them, because they are everything I have labored mightily to rise above. I cannot help them grow, because they are not ready to repent of their cowardice.
On the assumption that it's not a coincidence that this church now closely resembles all the others, I'd like to air this out before a broader audience. I have decided to grow beyond what was done to me, to become someone who doesn't need lots of hugs and trigger warnings. I have decided to become stronger in the faith. I am willing to leave behind me those who won't grow with me. But it's lonely. Where is the body of Christ? Where are others who are at least trying to grow in the faith? Is there any organization that makes spiritual healing and growth a priority?
People are kiiling and dying in the world. People are cheating each other and ending up poor. Leaders don't know where they're going, followers don't know whom to trust. Politics these days is ranting demagogues versus an out-of-touch establishment. Religion these days is happy talk and gaslighting. Where is the light of the world? Where is the salt of the earth? The ones who are supposed to be the world's salvation are diseased themselves, and have chosen not to get better. If this is all there is, then there is no hope and the world is doomed. Christianity is comatose, if not dead. God is just a name they drop. Jesus is just someone they project on to.
Where is the resurrection? i see only death and decay.
I've had a bad day, which is why I'm posting this, but I feel the same even on good days.
About me: suffered a lot of emotional abuse and neglect growing up. Eventually I decided to get over it with God's help.
About this church: the same, except for the getting over it. It started out as a radical church all about discipleship and the Great Commission, but the leader fell hard into the sin of pride. The fish rotted from the head, and the whole church culture became deeply toxic. Hierarchical, bullying, and unwilling to listen.
This was many years ago. They're still traumatized. They've fallen into the worldly mentality of safe spaces and the Cult of Nice. This prevents any spiritual growth whatsoever. They're so concerned with avoiding feeling the pain of their wounds that their wounds cannot heal at all.
On the outside, this is a lukewarm church. It seems to serve no Biblical purpose. It is fully and deeply committed to mediocrity at all costs. On the inside, it is a church trapped in spiritual bondage. Most of its sins are sins of omission, and this let them decieve themselves that they have no great sins. The only time I've seen any fire in the belly in when people get defensive. They have no love, only fear. They have no courage, no rationality, no curiosity. Their idea of evangelism is to try bring back the fallaways by making whatever compromises are demanded. In the name of compassion, they refuse to anything that would lead to real healing. The wounds fester untreated. Time does not heal all wounds. Cowardice does not heal any wounds.
I've given up on church shopping. Every church is defective in some way. I want to try to grow where I am, to do God's work where I am. If I don't confront this problem, I'll just confront someother problem sonewhere else. Or the same problem. This church has become so much like the dead, angst-ridden churches out there that I can't tell the difference anymore. It makes me wonder how all these other churches got that way. Maybe they too once had zeal not based on knowledge.
Their idea of being loving is to avoid harshness. jesus was plenty harsh when it was called for, but they think harshness is bad because they got so much of it. I've tried to explain that was never the real issue, but they just can't hear it. Now everyone is afraid to say anything much, for fear of setting someone else off. They call this love. It's not love. It's fear. Fear is all they can feel. They just call it by other names. What they call discipleship is fear. What they call grace is fear. What they call compassion is fear. What they call maturiy is fear. What they call civility is fear. They fear each other, and they fear themselves, and they fear the world.
I'm disgusted with them. They are deeply neurotic, and enabling each other. I cannot grow through them, because they are everything I have labored mightily to rise above. I cannot help them grow, because they are not ready to repent of their cowardice.
On the assumption that it's not a coincidence that this church now closely resembles all the others, I'd like to air this out before a broader audience. I have decided to grow beyond what was done to me, to become someone who doesn't need lots of hugs and trigger warnings. I have decided to become stronger in the faith. I am willing to leave behind me those who won't grow with me. But it's lonely. Where is the body of Christ? Where are others who are at least trying to grow in the faith? Is there any organization that makes spiritual healing and growth a priority?
People are kiiling and dying in the world. People are cheating each other and ending up poor. Leaders don't know where they're going, followers don't know whom to trust. Politics these days is ranting demagogues versus an out-of-touch establishment. Religion these days is happy talk and gaslighting. Where is the light of the world? Where is the salt of the earth? The ones who are supposed to be the world's salvation are diseased themselves, and have chosen not to get better. If this is all there is, then there is no hope and the world is doomed. Christianity is comatose, if not dead. God is just a name they drop. Jesus is just someone they project on to.
Where is the resurrection? i see only death and decay.
I've had a bad day, which is why I'm posting this, but I feel the same even on good days.
