The Past is Torturing My Heart

[Shadolus]

I posted this in the crush thread, and afterwards I thought "oh what the heck, I'll make it a thread." So hear goes...

My heart is tortured! I went all the way through high school having only one real crush and I was so shy around her and too nervous to ask her out. I don't think she was a Christian and even though I was back then she still made me go nuts inside. Ok so time goes by, and I saw her a few times after high school at a bowling alley she worked at and every time my heart would skip a beat. Well, I hadn't seen her for a few years... So me and my cousin are bored and decide to go bowling, and would you know it, she was working. For some reason I wasn't nervous anymore, I don't know maybe I just grew up and matured. When we were there I told my cousin about my crush on her... I didn't think much of it, but as we left I said have a goodnight to her and my cousin whispered maybe it was destiny for you guys to get together. I laughed at him, but now that I'm back home sitting here at my place... I can't stop thinking about it.... DANG IT!

 

[Fremdin]

Your cousin is mean

 

[Quoth]

I'd let it go as best I could. Find something else to distract yourself. Watch some TV or play a video game. Read a book. Listen to music. Watch a movie. Do anything and everything to keep your mind off it, and don't actively pursue the thought if it comes up.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Go bowling again another time and go have a chat with her.

 

[MehGuy]

Go bowling again another time and go have a chat with her.

Yeah you are a pretty good looking guy.. I mean seriously you shouldn't be having any girl problems... lol.. Gee wizz...

 

[Thunder Peel]

Just don't over-think it or psyche yourself out. If it's a door that God has opened you'll know it and if He's closed it then a better one will open.

 

[Blank123]

talk to her. maybe you're meant to be friends, maybe more, maybe just acquaintances. But you'll never know unless you actually talk to her

 

[Shadolus]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate it. This is a tough one man. I'm usually pretty confident with my decisions but boy.... this is a tough one.

I do agree talking to her can't hurt... so maybe I'll find out when she's working next.

Thanks MehGuy, Its just that I'm at a really busy time in my life and am not sure I could hold a relationship, it wouldn't be fair to her.

 

[Lord Herdsetk]

Just Do It
......./
....../
\..../
.\../
..\/

 

[Shadolus]

Just don't over-think it or psyche yourself out. If it's a door that God has opened you'll know it and if He's closed it then a better one will open.

This is excellent, simplistic advice! Biblical and sound

talk to her. maybe you're meant to be friends, maybe more, maybe just acquaintances. But you'll never know unless you actually talk to her

You'll never know unless you actually talk to her.... aint that the truth.

 

[Blank123]

just keep in mind. don't blow it up by thinking about destiny or anything. that'll be way too much pressure for you to feel comfortable trying to talk to her.

 

[Shadolus]

just keep in mind. don't blow it up by thinking about destiny or anything. that'll be way too much pressure for you to feel comfortable trying to talk to her.

RIGHT!... how do I do that? Lol just kidding, I'll definitely try. Thanks for the advice. If I do talk to her I'll update my CF peeps.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I posted this in the crush thread, and afterwards I thought "oh what the heck, I'll make it a thread." So hear goes...

My heart is tortured! I went all the way through high school having only one real crush and I was so shy around her and too nervous to ask her out. I don't think she was a Christian and even though I was back then she still made me go nuts inside. Ok so time goes by, and I saw her a few times after high school at a bowling alley she worked at and every time my heart would skip a beat. Well, I hadn't seen her for a few years... So me and my cousin are bored and decide to go bowling, and would you know it, she was working. For some reason I wasn't nervous anymore, I don't know maybe I just grew up and matured. When we were there I told my cousin about my crush on her... I didn't think much of it, but as we left I said have a goodnight to her and my cousin whispered maybe it was destiny for you guys to get together. I laughed at him, but now that I'm back home sitting here at my place... I can't stop thinking about it.... DANG IT!

I feel for you. I have a similar story.

 

[GQ Chris]

Just ask her out, who cares of the possibility of being rejected, its much better than being a wallflower.

 

[Blank123]

RIGHT!... how do I do that? Lol just kidding, I'll definitely try. Thanks for the advice. If I do talk to her I'll update my CF peeps.

just remember, she's only a person. like you and me. Approach her thinking about her like that, don't go in putting her on a pedestal.

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

So I think you know that the best thing to do in this situation is to make a firm decision one way or the other. Either drop the very thought of her for good or go talk to her.


However, a part of your story stood out to me. She got the job at the alley when she got out of high school. Assuming you're the same age... she's still working at a bowling alley 7 years later? Maybe my judgement is unduly harsh, so whack me with a stick if it is... but please tell me that she's aspiring to own said bowling alley, otherwise it worries me that she's still working the same menial job for seven years. Or maybe I'm just a jerk.

 

[Shadolus]

So I think you know that the best thing to do in this situation is to make a firm decision one way or the other. Either drop the very thought of her for good or go talk to her.


However, a part of your story stood out to me. She got the job at the alley when she got out of high school. Assuming you're the same age... she's still working at a bowling alley 7 years later? Maybe my judgement is unduly harsh, so whack me with a stick if it is... but please tell me that she's aspiring to own said bowling alley, otherwise it worries me that she's still working the same menial job for seven years. Or maybe I'm just a jerk.

Nope, that is a good point and one I thought about. I wouldn't hold it against her without knowing more soooo.... yeah lol

Just dropping the idea or talking to her are really my only options. I freaking don't want to dwell over this. I have a good friend thats visiting tomorrow and I'm gona see what he thinks and make a firm decision then.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Nope, that is a good point and one I thought about. I wouldn't hold it against her without knowing more soooo.... yeah lol

Just dropping the idea or talking to her are really my only options. I freaking don't want to dwell over this. I have a good friend thats visiting tomorrow and I'm gona see what he thinks and make a firm decision then.

You're only going to talk to her, calm down, it's not like a date

Just talk to her and find out what she's been up to in her life...

If things don't turn out, then just leave it, you've got nothing to lose.

 

[Shadolus]

You're only going to talk to her, calm down, it's not like a date

Just talk to her and find out what she's been up to in her life...

If things don't turn out, then just leave it, you've got nothing to lose.

It's not that big of a deal to me, I always over rationalize things lol.

 

[tapi]

Haha good luck man I'm not a dating/people stuff expert but I'd say just be genuine and transparent and the rest will sort itself out