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Featured The Negative Impact of Purity Culture

Discussion in 'Christian Philosophy & Ethics' started by Tetra, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. JackRT

    JackRT I'm on the left.

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    In Canada a common law relationship is recognized after three years as a de facto marriage.
     
  2. ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat

    ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat Active Member

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    I think in general in this secular society we live in its more common for those who decide to go the purity route to face oppression than those who have sex with new partners each week. You are thought of as strange especially if you are a man to go the route of purity. I personally think as paul said its best for people to stay pure but like he said if they can't control themselves then yes marriage is correct. But mainstream wise purity is dead as far as I see and I don't think that is a good thing. That is mainly because most people conform to the pattern of this world instead of following christ.
     
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  3. Tallguy88

    Tallguy88 Cubs win! Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    Only two or three states still allow it in the US. The trend is against it. It served a purpose in frontier America when there often weren't preachers or judges for 100 miles or more that could marry people. But modern day, that need is largely gone.
     
  4. Tallguy88

    Tallguy88 Cubs win! Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    A girl who saves herself for marriage is definitely the more attractive prospect. They're hard to find though. Church is your best bet, but good girls go fast and get married young it seems.
     
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  5. Tetra

    Tetra Active Member

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    I'd like to clarify though, in your opinion, are girls less good if they made a mistake and had premarital sex? I just noticed you said good girls go fast.
     
  6. Tallguy88

    Tallguy88 Cubs win! Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    There's more to it than that. But generally a girl who saves herself is a good girl, but one who's made a mistake isn't necessarily not a good girl.

    Now if it's a lifestyle not a mistake, that's a disqualifier, in the absence of a conversion of heart and an amending of their life.

    This is true for guys, too. But I'm not interested in guys, so I don't pay them much mind in that regard.
     
  7. Tetra

    Tetra Active Member

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    I understand too it was just a quick post over a forum thread... my eye tends to catch things like that though.

    As I'm raising my daughter, I've tried to be careful in my words because if I said something similar, I'd fear she may get the impression that maybe if she messed up, she wouldn't be as "good" anymore. You know what I mean?
     
  8. ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat

    ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat Active Member

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    Amazing an administrator shows a lack of maturity by not being able to talk about purity for men because of his lack of interest in them. You don't need to have an interest in men romantically to be able to talk about why they should or shouldn't stay pure. But it is the world we live in and why christians are thought of as hypocrites.
     
  9. Tetra

    Tetra Active Member

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    This is a story from a documentary for anyone interested.

    I find Jessica's story particularly heartbreaking, it starts half way through the documentary at her part :
     
  10. ~Anastasia~

    ~Anastasia~ † Servant of God † Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    Frankly, it sounds like walking a tightrope, trying to instill a sense of valuing virginity in a young woman (or man) without also risking their regret if they do otherwise?

    I don't have an answer about how best to do that. Does anyone else?

    I'm freshly looking at it from within the context of Orthodoxy, and just briefly I would say that we acknowledge God's ideal in this (chastity until marriage) but alongside that we are also made very aware that in our various attempts to follow Christ, we may fall down in this or that. To assume we won't is pride. But we are expected to do our best, and when we happen to fail, we repent and seek forgiveness (and know it is granted) and try harder next time, if we can.

    But I'm speaking in general terms. Perhaps the same principles apply, but I think chastity is a "bigger deal" than something like maybe telling a minor lie or gossiping or any other number of possible failings. So I tend to think it ought to be more strongly emphasized.

    I'm not sure of a good answer - just thinking on this a bit.
     
  11. Tallguy88

    Tallguy88 Cubs win! Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    Hey look, goading me over my staff position. Not the first time, not the last time.

    And he didn't even understand my post to boot.

    I said I don't consider them in day to day appraisals. Why would I? "Ooo, he's a good guy, maybe someday..."

    If I didn't think it mattered for men to be pure, I wouldn't have said "the same applies to men"! But I'm not on the market for them, so it's not my problem. You want a playboy, have at 'em.
     
  12. Widlast

    Widlast Well-Known Member

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    Yes. There is no doubt that a person with strict morals will have a difficult time living in a society with lax or no morals.
    God's intent was that people remain celibate until their marriage. Do you see any virtue in whoring around before marriage?
    Sexually transmitted diseases would not be an issue if it weren't for sex OUTSIDE of marriage.
    What agenda are you pushing?
     
  13. Tetra

    Tetra Active Member

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    I suppose my agenda is to dismantle purity cultures negative effects. You didn't gather that from my OP?

    There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, my wife and I both waited till we got married.
     
  14. Tetra

    Tetra Active Member

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    I don't have an answer, but you're tightrope analogy seems very fitting.
     
  15. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    I believe in saving yourself physically for marriage and only sharing of each other physically (sex) to be only within marriage, but, "emotional purity"...? I prefer "emotional maturity"... But those two may be polar opposites... Why is that?

    People can't remain with the level of emotional maturity of a two year old as adults, but, all to often, this is what, to most people, emotional purity means... No loss of innocence, ect...

    Why do people have to go through some very deep emotional crap and lose their innocence, to be more mature (emotionally, as a person)...?

    Is that the purpose of evil, to grow us in emotional maturity, or as a person...? Some become damaged and scarred in the process, which affects how they emotionally act/react and who they are as a person... While some others, grow up to be very emotionally mature and stable, and better people because of it, and don't come out with permanent damage, or deep scars that affect who they are in a negative way... Some are able to take the negative and turn it into a positive who don't suffer any permanent damage, but went through some really serious crap, but, that made them that way ultimately...

    God Bless!
     
  16. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    I think the most negative impact about purity, is due to trying to save ones emotional purity, which is almost always associated with emotional immaturity, which is most of the negative aspect of purity, much more than the physical aspect, cause it makes for grown up toddlers basically...
     
  17. ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat

    ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat Active Member

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    If anyone regrets obeying God then why are they a christian? In the end whether you instill a value of purity in a person they will do what they want. There may be some extreme cases where people have sexual hangups because a parent was too hard on them about sex but in the end we all have choices to make and there are rewards and consequences for those choices.

    What are the regrets someone has for staying pure even for their whole life? Jesus did it and he set the bar. Who cares what the world thinks who cares about the pressures of society to conform. We are told not to conform to this world. Christ didn't die for fun if this is an issue of someone regretting not losing their virginity earlier because of lost opportunity or fun what did you really gain by losing your virginity? We just have no values anymore as a society. We don't care about what the bible says we only care about fitting in and following men and not God.
     
  18. ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat

    ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat Active Member

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    So christ was a grown up toddler? There is 0 connection between emotional maturity and purity. I'm sorry but there isn't. Unless I misunderstood you I don't see how having lots of sex is going to make you more mature. I know virgins are thought of as being clueless like tim tebow but I can attest that not all virgins are naive. Its just a stereotype.
     
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  19. Tetra

    Tetra Active Member

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    There is nothing wrong with being pure. However, purity culture is about the idolization of purity.

    I was a virgin till I got married, and purity culture negatively impacted my life.
     
  20. ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat

    ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat Active Member

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    If purity culture is about restricting freedom then I am against it. I believe in free choice to obey or disobey the word.