The Ethics of Child Free Couples

[Ave Maria]

What are the ethics of child free couples? I personally believe it is unethical to be "child free". I believe it is selfish and frankly quite sickening. What are your opinions on child free couples?

 

[Chie]

What are the ethics of child free couples? I personally believe it is unethical to be "child free". I believe it is selfish and frankly quite sickening. What are your opinions on child free couples?

Before I could honestly say an opinion on the matter , I would have to know why a couple would choose not to have a child.

 

[Piedpiper123]

What are the ethics of child free couples? I personally believe it is unethical to be "child free". I believe it is selfish and frankly quite sickening. What are your opinions on child free couples?

"Unethical", "selfish", "frankly quite sickening" yikes. Glad you're not judgmental!

We have had to travel so much and so frequently around the world that we decided not to have children. It seemed to us also that the humankind would not die out as there were plenty of other people having children. Sorry to learn that we are: "unethical", "selfish", "frankly quite sickening".

It has been much easier for us working in war zones without having children to worry about at home that suddenly might become orphaned.

 

[Celticflower]

Since you cannot know the history or reasons behind each couples' reasons for remaining childless you have no basis (or right) to judge their "ethics". Some may be childless due to age or medical reasons. It may have nothing to do with ethics or lack thereof. IMO your post sounds bitter, angry and judgemental. None of which are good Christian attitudes.

My sister and her husband are a "childless couple". Since they didn't get married until after my sister was past the safe age for child bearing they will remain childless (unless you count their dogs). Would it have been more "ethical" for my sister to have gotten pregnant before marriage?

Really, don't you have more worthwhile things to do than condemn people who, for whatever reason, do not have children??

 

[Neenie]

I'm married and don't have children. Our selfish justification for this unethical and sickening way of not having kids, is mostly because we aren't in the financial postistion for me not be working and to be living on one wage. Not only that, but having children is a big decision which needs to be taken seriously, and I'm not ready for that. Children need to be raised in a stable and loving environment, and I think it is selfish to have a child if you know you can't provide this.

 

[IamAdopted]

What are the ethics of child free couples? I personally believe it is unethical to be "child free". I believe it is selfish and frankly quite sickening. What are your opinions on child free couples?

well this would depend on what Gods calling was for this couples life.

 

[NHB_MMA]

Go talk to a social worker and she if everyone should have children.

The bottom line is that, in the grand scheme of things, we're facing an overpopulation problem at some point. That doesn't mean I would not like to have a couple kids myself if I were to ever marry. But it does mean I'm not about to condemn those that opt to not have children.

 

[ReformedChapin]

I don't want to have kids and it's simply because I wont have the time. Kids take a lot of time and responsibility and I wont have it. God has not given us anything more valuable than kids, if you can't raise them don't have them.

Also there is no biblical reference (that I'm aware of) about this, so why condem?

 

[Polycarp1]

I agree that judging the ethics of those couples who do not have children of their own is, like a lot of Christian judging, usually an attempt to arrogate to oneself what is the prerogative of your Master. "Who hast appointed thee judge over thy brethren and sisters?"

In our particular case, there were physiological issues that made our prospect of conceiving a child not impossible but highly unlikely. And for many years we tried, with prayer, but were not given biological children.

Then we realized that our freedom from child-rearing was God's gift, to be used for His purposes, and devoted ourselves, for a decade, to a variety of outreach work which most couples did not have time for.

Following which, we ended up as surrogate parents for some troubled neighborhood teens who were in rebellion from and ostracized from their birth families, and found great fulfillment in helping them past those troubled times into a relatively mature young adulthood and reconciliation with their birth families. And from it got the blessing of "grandkids" in the form of their children.

God's plan for each individual is different, tailored to who they are as individuals. The only one-size-fits-all plan in His Plan is His plan of salvation -- and that too varies with the individual, if you think about it.

 

[Pogue]

It's not selfish at all. My parents have 6 children, so I think childless couples are making up for that in a way. Overpopulation is a problem and it's better for all of us that some people choose not to have children. On a smaller scale, too, it's better not to have children if you can't afford to have them, or can't afford to give them a decent life, because this just increases poverty, which leads to all sorts of other problems.
Another point is that some couples just can't have children, or would seriously risk their health, physical or mental, if they had a child. And some people just don't want children. I'm not one of these people (I love ickle-wickle BABIES!) but surely it's better that people who don't want children don't have them? Otherwise we end up with a load of unwanted children, and this would lead to more social problems.

 

[£amb]

There are some great people in this forum designed specifically for child-free people:

http://www.christianforums.com/f669-childfree-couples.html

I think it would suit you better to pose your question to them and see what you find out why they have no children. There are many other reasons why people do not want children other than "selfish" ones.

 

[UberLutheran]

I don't want to have kids and it's simply because I wont have the time. Kids take a lot of time and responsibility and I wont have it. God has not given us anything more valuable than kids, if you can't raise them don't have them.

Also there is no biblical reference (that I'm aware of) about this, so why condem?

What about contributing to your wife's salvation?

P. A reading from Timothy, Chapter 2, verses 13-15:

1 Timothy 2:13-15
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 Adam wasn’t deceived, but the woman, being deceived, has fallen into disobedience; 15 but she will be saved through her childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and sanctification with sobriety.

P. The Word of the Lord.
C. Thanks be to God.

God's Word is quite clear about this: no babies = no salvation.

 

[snoochface]

There are some great people in this forum designed specifically for child-free people:

http://www.christianforums.com/f669-childfree-couples.html

I think it would suit you better to pose your question to them and see what you find out why they have no children. There are many other reasons why people do not want children other than "selfish" ones.

As an active member of the Child Free forum, I think I can speak for all of us when I say we would welcome a civilized, respectful discussion of the reasons we have for being child-free, with anyone who has a genuine curiosity or desire to learn more about an alternate viewpoint.

But, if someone comes in there and starts telling us how unethical, selfish, and sickening we are for our choice to remain child-free, that person will not only be in violation of the rules of our forum, but will also not get very far in that kind of discussion with us. That's a safe-haven forum where we can fellowship with each other and with those who respect our choice. It's not a place for people to dump their judgemental attitudes on us.

Just FYI

 

[fuzzymel]

What about contributing to your wife's salvation?

P. A reading from Timothy, Chapter 2, verses 13-15:

1 Timothy 2:13-15
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 Adam wasn’t deceived, but the woman, being deceived, has fallen into disobedience; 15 but she will be saved through her childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and sanctification with sobriety.

P. The Word of the Lord.
C. Thanks be to God.

God's Word is quite clear about this: no babies = no salvation.

Oh great all the childless couples of the world are going to hell then.

Its nice to see the OP is not very judgemental isnt it?

Selfish? Ok so its selfish if Gods calling is for the couple not to have children?

I am not perfect and I am sorry for that. I fall short of all the perfect Christians on here.

Its a shame that I will go to hell for not having a child but even if I wanted one I would struggle without medical help so I guess I have always been destined for hell. Why did I even become a Christian then? What was the point because God obviously wanted me to go to hell because he gave me no desire for a child, PCOS and a heart condition.

Maybe I should leave these boards because UberLutheran says I am going to hell anyway so really what is the point I cannot be a Christian .

 

[UberLutheran]

Oh great all the childless couples of the world are going to hell then.

Its nice to see the OP is not very judgemental isnt it?

Selfish? Ok so its selfish if Gods calling is for the couple not to have children?

I am not perfect and I am sorry for that. I fall short of all the perfect Christians on here.

Its a shame that I will go to hell for not having a child but even if I wanted one I would struggle without medical help so I guess I have always been destined for hell. Why did I even become a Christian then? What was the point because God obviously wanted me to go to hell because he gave me no desire for a child, PCOS and a heart condition.

Maybe I should leave these boards because UberLutheran says I am going to hell anyway so really what is the point I cannot be a Christian .

Read my PM response to you.

 

[billwald]

Since youy asked, it is obvious that some people are not suited to be parents because of temperment and lack of common sense and morals.

 

[snoochface]

Since youy asked, it is obvious that some people are not suited to be parents because of temperment and lack of common sense and morals.

Yeah, it's my lack of morals that makes me not suited to be a parent.

I'm amazed at how judgemental some Christians are toward each other. I'm sure Jesus would be proud.

 

[UberLutheran]

Yeah, it's my lack of morals that makes me not suited to be a parent.

I'm amazed at how judgemental some Christians are toward each other. I'm sure Jesus would be proud.

Understand, these folks are not "judging" you.

They're merely "loving the sinner and hating the sin."

Doesn't all that "love" make you feel all warm and tingly inside after they do that?

Me, neither.

 

[fuzzymel]

What sin?

 

[LoveAlways]

Understand, these folks are not "judging" you.

They're merely "loving the sinner and hating the sin."

Doesn't all that "love" make you feel all warm and tingly inside after they do that?

Me, neither.

I lurves you extra lots