Telling You How to Live?

[redblue22]

Does anyone ever tell you what to do with your money?

Does it ever feel like someone else is trying to run your life?

Does anyone ever try to make you feel guilty/shame if you don't do what they say?

For example, you buy a burger and a beer. Someone might then say, "if you can afford a burger and beer, then you should never accept help."

 

[Razare]

It's true, but then on the other hand everyone needs help. People on drugs, addicted to drugs and spending 100% of their money on it, need help. Yes, if they didn't have a drug problem, maybe they could help themselves. But they do.

And as for beer and cigs, I guess why would we be asking for help if we're buying beer?

I knew one guy who was in an accident, and he requested we put up a tip jar for him in our gas station. We did. Then he would come into the store, take the money, and buy 24 pk of beer... he didn't need food, nor need to pay hospital bills, just needed to slug some cold ones!

I think it's fine he wants to drink beer, but it's a bit dishonest to go around saying you need X and you really go buy Y.

One guy I saw on the streets, he would ask for gas money. I gave him some change the first time and knew he was lying. The second time he came to me, God revealed it or something, but I knew he was just an alcoholic looking for beer money.

If you are looking for beer money, tell people, "Please give me money to buy beer." This is called honesty. If you are going to be a drunk, be an honest one.

That said, let's say you get a government check because you're disabled. And you buy some beer. It's really only the government's business what you do with it. If I don't like you buying beer with money borrowed from China, then I need to change my government, not come and condemn you for operating with a system that permits it. If you stop buying beer with government money, the next guy will be buying it... what's the difference? If it's legal, it's legal.

Now, if you're a Christian and out of a moral belief you want to "do better than that", I think that's a legit reason to try and do better. But why you would be automatically be obligated to be more just than the legal system giving you the funds? I do not know. Without bringing God into it, you wouldn't be.

 

[redblue22]

So it is ok to tell others what to do and shame them if they don't do what you say.

I never said anything about cigs or drunks. That is your statement, not mine.

 

[Razare]

Would the intro go better if I had said, "a burger and fries"? That really isn't the focus of the OP. What do you think my main question was about? (read the title and the three actual questions I asked.)

Or are you answering those questions by saying it is ok to control and shame people?

I never said anything about cigs or drunks. That is your statement, not mine.

Sorry, you said "burger and beer". So I thought the shame was about buying beer.

 

[redblue22]

I was asking more about what it is like to have mental illness and controlling people telling you what to do. The mentally ill have nothing to be ashamed of, but there are people who get mad if you disobey them. Many people will try to make you feel like trash and guilt for affording a burger and fries.

 

[Razare]

I was asking more about what it is like to have mental illness and controlling people telling you what to do. The mentally ill have nothing to be ashamed of, but there are people who get mad if you disobey them. Many people will try to make you feel like trash and guilt for affording a burger and fries.

Good verse for people like this: "Get thee behind me, satan!"

 

[redblue22]

My birthday is this week. I think I'll go out for a burger. (and maybe a beer)

 

[blackribbon]

Redblue...sorry you are having a rough time. Sadly, there are people who feel they have a vote in the lives of everyone they help (or more than likely, don't really help but pretend like they do). They don't have to help but if they do, that doesn't give them permission to make your decisions. God will not bless this type of giving anyway because they are not doing it to honor him.

Enjoy your beer and burger if you have the money for it.

Also, know this isn't just something the "disabled" suffer from. When my husband died, suddenly everyone felt they had a right to tell me how to live my life and spend my money based on how they thought they would respond in the same situation. I moved 1400 miles away to escape this behavior. Your illness doesn't not mean your brain is idled and that you need a babysitter in your life.