Talking to Young Adults about "alternative" things

[HalupkiMonster]

^^Sorry, I wasn't sure how to phrase the title for this thread!!!

At the young adult retreat that my diocese holds for area Orthodox 16 - 22 year olds, the Fathers speak to us about marriage. What to look for in a partner, habits to avoid, the importance of marrying Orthodox, etc.

One thing that is never mentioned is what to do when one feels attracted to the same sex, and not to the opposite. Another is what to do if we feel we are transgender, or perhaps find ourselves in another of the "alternative" situations we see today.

I really wish priests would talk about this. I do not know much about transgenderism or anything like that, however dealing with SSA, I'm always a bit disappointed. Same sex attraction is something that many Christians are struggling with, and it would be nice if young people who are just starting their journeys could be catered to just a little. Those of us that know we won't get married, but don't necessarily feel the call to monasticism. The Church tells us to struggle to carry our cross, but the world tells us to accept and indulge. It's difficult, and if we could be thrown a bone once in a while, it would sure help a lot.

So, my question is this: why isn't homosexuality addressed with Orthodox youth? Is it not seen as an issue?

As someone who works with Christian youth at school, I have had many frustrated Christians come to me and explain that they are disappointed that their struggle is never dealt with, as they are under extreme pressure to conform to society's standards, possibly more so than those struggling with other sins.

 

[rusmeister]

Well, I'd ask first of all, how do you know that "many" people are struggling with this particular passion? How many on the general background of the number of people in the Church? Certainly, some do, but as a particular passion it can't be much more than other of the rare disordered desires. We can look at those that desire children, or animals, and we'd have to admit that as a percentage they don't come close to the common opposite-sex sins in terms of "volume".

Such things are generally a matter for private pastoral care, and that is as it should be. We know that adultery and fornication are equally bad, and much more widely practiced, yet how much are these spoken about in homilies in the Church? It seems to me that the homilies that address sexual sin address all of them, and don't generally single out a particular passion, especially the rarer ones. It's only an issue insofar as sexual sin, sexual brokenness is an issue, and the desires are ALL broken, not just same-sex attraction.

Another reason the pastoral care should be private is that while all sin is and should be shameful, there is a peculiar power about sexual sin that the airing of titillates and infects others. The apostle Paul said that it is shameful even to speak of such things. It seems that sexual perversion spreads more readily when it IS talked about. That doesn't mean that there cannot be ANY discussion about it, but that any Christian discussion about it must be very careful to prevent this. Ideally, there ought to be no public discussion of the condition. The best way to stop the spread of same-sex attraction is to censor it utterly, and for the discussion of it to not leave the confessional; exactly what we DO do with the desires for children and animals. We have had enough problems with discussions of other sexual sins and unnatural desires here at TAW to know that this is so. Sexual sin is not generally helped by public airing of it.

(Edit) I'd add that the term "partner" is a terible one, an evil euphemism that enables the modern attacks on sexual morality, never mind that it is a business term and effectively puts the relationship in commercial terms. If we insist on "husband" and "wife" we can see how fast this cuts out other variations of justifying immoral sexual relations.

All of that said, I'd encourage you to seek that pastoral care and remain under it.

 

[ArmyMatt]

maybe you can be the one to start something, if you feel that ministry is lacking. approach your priest, and go from there.