Suicide IS Near, Loss of Faith

[Wanderingaimlessly]

Here is a poem I just wrote. I seem to have no reason to live and I am becoming more and more sure that suicide is the only answer.


Today is the end of my tormented life.
I woke up and the raindrops were puttering on the roof.
I, thinking to myself, what do I have to live for?
Nothing I thought, raged with pain and guilt.
So I got up, deciding the end was today.
Determined it was all finally over.
I put on my emo music.
I knew those bands understood me.
Their angst ridden lyrics went straight to my heart.
If only the rest of the world could understand me.
I’m a tortured soul.
I do not belong in this ghostly world.
I took out the rope, tied the noose.
Screamed one last lyric.
And it was over, free, gone, understood.


PLEASE HELP ME< I CANT THINK STRAIGHT

 

[Radagast]

No, it's not the answer!

I suggest you post this in the Struggles & Recovery forum.

Praying for you

-- Radagast

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Give up the emo music and go hardcore.
Learn to rise above.

 

[TheMainException]

I can tell that you can't think straight....I know what that's like...I spent all of the past two and a half weeks like that...wasn't fun let me tell you....and I'm sure what you're dealing with is just junk too....I'd call it something worse, but I can't say that here....

My friend....music plays largely into our lives....it's how I spent my those last couple weeks....listening to music I knew was wrong for me....but at the same time....they said, "and I can't begin to let you know what I'm feeling....I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling." I was like...yeah...let's do that...that sounds like a good idea...thank the Lord I didn't...else you wouldn't be hearing from me at all.....and I wouldn't be able to stand knowing that....I know that there are so many people wishing to die and so many more who will want such a thing in days, weeks, months and years to come...and although you may be a "normal suicidal case" you aren't to me...you are something quite special and I love you so very much...you are important to me whether or not I even know your name or anything about you. You are so precious to me...I love you so dearly. I know pain well...both phsyical and inner (spiritual, emotional, mental...whatever and all three)....I spend lots of time rocking back and forth, beating myself over the head, punching walls...but I never draw blood...but I go until I'm ready to pass out...but I know it's not right...and let me let you in on a little secret....you may die and go to heaven...that may happen...I don't know if you are saved or not....but do you really want to see your father, your abba, the man/God who created you on those terms? Do you want to have just killed yourself and then be standing before the father in heaven and meeting him face to face after you ending your life on earth? Can you see the look on his face? The disappointment, the sadness....how he wanted you to go and save people from physical and spiritual death and not let them kill themselves....you are amazing to God...through you, like me...he can and will save soul after soul...and even if you only save one person....your life would be worth it.....just like Jesus' life....he lived to die...and to die for you.....YOU!! How insane is that? What kind of nutty God would do that for a lowly human??? He would! A freak of a God, I know!!! But then...who isn't? You may think that you're NORMAL!!! But no one is normal! It doesn't exist...and you aren't a common place thing...you are quite rare...priceless actually....and for you to die...it would cause so many people more pain than you are dealing with right now....I know that your pain seems bad...but it can get better....it can....please, do not end this like this....stay with us...stay with me....don't leave me... I don't want to see you go....you are too precious to me....you mean so much to me...no lie...I wouldn't lie to you....I promise...I wouldn't lie a single word to you....I love you so much and I know pain very well.....live on my dear friend...stay living...stay here on earth...struggle through the pain...Please, please, PM me and we can talk about this...just don't follow your poem...don't do that...please don't do that....it won't do much good for you to leave now....it really wouldn't....remember...as much as I love you....God loves you a crazy million billion times more....

With love, Lauren

 

[madison1101]

Go to the nearest emergency room NOW!. Run, don't walk. Suicide is not the answer. Get help NOW.
Madison

 

[perfection]

http://home.quicknet.nl/qn/prive/kes/cycle.pdf

This book saved me from suicide

The Cycle of the Soul

This book shows that however deep a human being has fallen, there will always be a way out.

This is what happens when you commit suicide , read this Near death experience and how this woman found God back in her life. http://www.near-death.com/experiences/suicide04.html

 

[Evie]

praying for you. It's the wrong choice,just lost my nephew to suicide.

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Wanderingaimlessly, I have been you. "The song that says that suicide is painless" lies. I know I've been there. And when I ran cold and screaming from the paws of death... I realized years later after years of fighting that life was worth living.

Nobody knows what you are going through. Your life is unique to you... but many people, including myself, know what it's like to feel that death is the only answer. But it's not. It's only the answer to perhaps one question: Do you want to die? Yes, death is the only answer. Maybe you don't feel like you have a lot of reasons to live... maybe you feel like God is not answering your prayers... maybe you have prayed so much your heart hurts. Maybe you want to just lay down and have the pain just go away.

My therapist has told me that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In view of the fact that we will spend an eternity in heaven and maybe 70-75 years on earth... these trials you face have other answers. Answers less fatal than death.

There is very little that I can tell you that will make you feel better. But I can be there for you in this lonely dark time. Your faith is faltering. My faith is big enough to share. The God we love hasn't forsaken you and neither will I. PM me if you need somebody to listen.

 

[Bluemoon]

Suicide is never the answer. You are going through hard struggles right now but it's for learning and for you to be closer with Christ. Open the Bible, start reading. That's exactly what I did when I had thoughts. The Lord is there when called upon, trust him, follow him, he will guide you. The Lord will never guide you to suicide. Praying for you to look at the Lord for the answers you need to battle what you are going through.

Matthew 11:28-30
28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light

 

[Evie]

Here is a poem I just wrote. I seem to have no reason to live and I am becoming more and more sure that suicide is the only answer.


Today is the end of my tormented life.
I woke up and the raindrops were puttering on the roof.
I, thinking to myself, what do I have to live for?
Nothing I thought, raged with pain and guilt.
So I got up, deciding the end was today.
Determined it was all finally over.
I put on my emo music.
I knew those bands understood me.
Their angst ridden lyrics went straight to my heart.
If only the rest of the world could understand me.
I’m a tortured soul.
I do not belong in this ghostly world.
I took out the rope, tied the noose.
Screamed one last lyric.
And it was over, free, gone, understood.


PLEASE HELP ME< I CANT THINK STRAIGHT

how ya doing Wanderingaimlessly? still praying for you. Lord give her strength to get through her struggles. In Jesus name.