struggling with inappropriate contentography

[Luiz11]

You need to keep in mind that each time you do it,you offend God. It took a while for me to get there,but now my sexual drive is sleeping like a rock.

Edit: You also should have in mind that sex was intended by God to be solely an expression of love,not a desire driven action. Humankind twisted it into something it is not.

 

[Peripatetic]

Recognize the fact that both inappropriate contentography and masturbation are homosexual acts, so direct your fantasies toward a normal love relationship with a woman.

No, it isn't homosexual. That is attraction or pursuit of someone else of the opposite sex. You could make the case that it is "self-love", but not homosexuality (unless you are looking at inappropriate content to see the opposite sex).

Find yourself a wife as soon as possible!

No offense, but this is very poor advice. First of all, not every guy can just "find a wife". Second of all, you don't want to rush into anything to ease an addiction! Marriage is a lifetime commitment that should be taken very seriously.

If it's the computer trash it. TV have your service disconnected.

Why? inappropriate content is very easy to block on TV - no need to shut down all of it. As for the Internet, you can also set up pretty effective filters there too. The key is to not make it easy to get to. The most important step is to find a trusted friend and confess this issue. Then, report in to him once per week. Of course, magazines and videos should be thrown away, but if you cancel TV and Internet, you will be very resentful and probably backslide within a week.

 

[Peripatetic]

Sorry about my tone in the last post... no offense intended. It just irritates me when people trivialize the steps it takes to manage addictive behavior. Saying "Just do this and that!" to an addict of any kind can be very discouraging and shows no empathy. Again... sorry if I was short...

 

[Sketcher]

Why? inappropriate content is very easy to block on TV - no need to shut down all of it. As for the Internet, you can also set up pretty effective filters there too. The key is to not make it easy to get to.

If you're the one doing the blocking, it will be that much easier to unblock when tempted. And filters can be gotten around fairly easily anyway. They're useful for keeping children from accidentally running into it in the first place, but for someone hooked on it, they're not an effective solution. They're a hassle, but they're not a barrier.

 

[YoDude]

inappropriate contentography, what is the deal, those people look so skanky doing the nasty on film. They are sad people, yes you may get stimulated, but ultimately it leaves you feeling gross.

There was a good thread on masturbation last week, but inappropriate contentograpy is definitely taboo, don't look at it. I am not afraid to tell the other guys I think it's gross; you know what, they aren't that quick to defend it - kinda makes you think even the fans think its gross and wrong on some level (maybe cause it is).

 

[Peripatetic]

If you're the one doing the blocking, it will be that much easier to unblock when tempted. And filters can be gotten around fairly easily anyway. They're useful for keeping children from accidentally running into it in the first place, but for someone hooked on it, they're not an effective solution. They're a hassle, but they're not a barrier.

Right, it won't work without the friend to answer to. Once you make it hard to access, you have to really think about what you are doing and realize that you'll have to tell your confidant about unblocking. If you're at the point that you'd lie to the friend, then you really aren't serious about recovery.

 

[Sketcher]

Right, it won't work without the friend to answer to. Once you make it hard to access, you have to really think about what you are doing and realize that you'll have to tell your confidant about unblocking. If you're at the point that you'd lie to the friend, then you really aren't serious about recovery.

As opposed to . . . not having to really think about it when it is "easy" to access? There's enough time to think about it no matter how you access it. Besides, any of these "home remedies" short of cutting off the Internet can be bypassed in less than 5 minutes if you know what you're doing.

 

[Johnnz]

I don't oppose external controls. But the fact remains a person is not truly 'free' until such controls are no longer necessary. The main problem with making real changes seems to me that a focus on external controls doesn't really get at the underlying reasons why inappropriate content has become such an attraction in the first place.

John
NZ

 

[Peripatetic]

All I am saying is that it's going to be difficult to function in today's society with no Internet in the home. Possible, of course, but not easy. My son researches his papers online. I do my taxes online. I pay bills online. We pick our daughter's dance pictures online. I look at job listings online. I check for announcements for Church functions online. On and on, and much of it is not frivolous.

Also, if you depend completely on isolation (rather than support and self-discipline using filters), what is to stop you from trying to do it at work or somewhere else?

 

[Illawarra_Christian]

inappropriate content is something that alot of men struggle with. I know that I've been there and struggled with it myself. Especially when I first became a Christian.

In our society inappropriate content is unfortunately everywhere - online, media, billboards - heck, you can't even watch music videos without viewing "Soft Core" inappropriate content. inappropriate content companies spend millions of dollars every year trying to get you in and hook you.

I think the biggest struggle is online though. What I did was download an accountability program (there's a few online). What they do is send an email re. any suspect websites you go to to a nominated friend. I asked my Pastor and another Christian friend to be my "Accountabilla-Buddy" for this and every month they get a report regarding suspect sites. Anything suss they talk about it. And a few friends use me for the same thing. Knowing that your going to get caught definately helps prevent you from going to some of these sites.

Another good thing to do is to confess when you do sin to a brother and pray about it. That definately helps.

Hope that was helpful.

Illawarra_Christian

 

[Sketcher]

Also, if you depend completely on isolation (rather than support and self-discipline using filters), what is to stop you from trying to do it at work or somewhere else?

A fair point, but if you have to be in public to go get it, it's going to be more of an obstacle. Temptation really hits people if they're alone, bored, lonely, frustrated in their relationships, etc. If you can be alone at home and are 5 minutes or less from accessing it, that's very dangerous. And I'm not talking about depending completely on isolation; the first thing you need to do if you're serious about recovery is cut off your supply. If you're 5 minutes away from your supply, as opposed to a longer journey out of your house, I wouldn't call that cutting it off, especially if you have a lot of privacy at home. Cutting it off completely is just my opinion of how to get the first step right. Because less than that is ineffective.

 

[jkryle]

i'll admit i really struggle with this.. it is so readily available that i get tempted with it really easily and touch over it around 3 times a week.. i dont know, i know it sounds bad but i sometimes do it as a 'release' when i feel down about things INSTEAD of asking God for help... i know this is wrong but i continually do it, and when i finish masterbating i feel so guilty and shameful... don't really know why i posted this... could do with a few words of encouragement. Thanks.

Keep asking God to change your heart concerning that. Don't let the devil talk to you into doing it either.

 

[jennyblckrckr]

3 times a week is nothing my x did it 3 times a night

 

[banish'd]

3 times a week is nothing my x did it 3 times a night

jennyblckrckr,

If that is your picture in your avatar, you sure are an attractive young lady. If you could get back together with your X maybe it would be different this time? Maybe, he learned his lesson?

My wife and I tried it both ways, sometimes with mood enhancement Internet videos and other times by simply kissing like teenagers do, while looking one another in the eyes.

The teenager method is at least 1,000 times better. Like the old saying goes, "three is a crowd".



-

 

[clixmaster]

Hi,

I want to help, just pm me

 

[GrahamR]

i am trying to set myself goals, like not looking at inappropriate content for a week, then if i do it don't look at it for 8 days and so on... i got to about 9 days without it then i gave into the temptation and did it about 4 days in a row. I know this probably isn't the solution... but surely doing it once a week or less is better than doing it 3 or 4 times every week? i'm praying to god, and asking for forgiveness every time i fail... it is hard though.

Thankyou all for your words

I'm 20 by the way

 

[Jpark]

Never mind.

 

[karenrose]

combatinginappropriate contentography is a website--check it out (two t's or one in combating? hmmm)... and lightedcandle has some helps... Go for help, because you can not lick that alone... I have watched a loved one wrestle with it and not getting help made it worse and I won't go into that.... but do not let self-hatred or embarassment keep you from seeking help. There are many resources--and now is the time before it escalates and becomes much harder... There is a book Out of Bondage by Colleen Harrison, I think that's the title... And look up Cory Reid's book, I don't recall title, but whatever you do, go get help. Go somewhere--physically and get help. An addiction counselor will refer you or one of the sites will refer you to someone. God can get you out, you are desirous and that seed is all He needs to help you... Please don't put this off.
Prayers.... God loves you brother.

 

[Enginseer]

This site is disgusting, Masturbation is NATURAL. As natural as the desire to pro-create.

We gain pleasure from sex, obviously. Masturbation is self-induced pleasure from sex. There are serious mental affects of repressing these feelings. I only have to point to the Catholic church to show you what a life of celibacy does to you.

I touch often with the aid of hetro-sexual inappropriate contentography. I have never felt shameful of it, all humans [at least male] do it. Is it that all males are defying God or does it just happen to be natural? Besides do you really think the creator of the universe cares if you play with yourself? you have to be pretty arrogant to believe that, There are matters in this world far more important that God would be paying more attention to.

God doesn't say it's wrong, the church does.

 

[MechChicken]

This site is disgusting, Masturbation is NATURAL. As natural as the desire to pro-create.

We gain pleasure from sex, obviously. Masturbation is self-induced pleasure from sex. There are serious mental affects of repressing these feelings. I only have to point to the Catholic church to show you what a life of celibacy does to you.

I touch often with the aid of hetro-sexual inappropriate contentography. I have never felt shameful of it, all humans [at least male] do it. Is it that all males are defying God or does it just happen to be natural? Besides do you really think the creator of the universe cares if you play with yourself? you have to be pretty arrogant to believe that, There are matters in this world far more important that God would be paying more attention to.

God doesn't say it's wrong, the church does.

I never did understand what the big deal about masturbation was. I wholeheartedly agree.