Struggle For Acceptance In Church

[Farine]

... my real name is something different, btw. I have "taken" the name "marta" and "saintmartha" in honor of my favorite saint, Martha of Bethany. I am a housewife who uses workaholism to distract myself from the important work of being still.

blessings as you continue your journey!

I wanted to make a quick observation from reading your signature block. People skim content. The text is really teeny-tiny. And it's long. And it's easy to miss. And it's really important. You're putting key information about how you would like to be responded to in that teeny-tiny, expanded format at the bottom of your messages. For example, i mentioned offering insight. There's my answer in your signature block. Thank you-but no thanks. Okay. Heard and received.

While we're talking about how best to respond to you, can you clarify what support you're hoping to receive that doesn't have a twinge of advice? I'm puzzled about that. Like are you hoping to have light-hearted conversations that aren't about the issues you're healing about? Stuff like that.

 

[PropheticTimes]

saintmartha - thank you for your kind words and thank you as well for speaking out and I pray for you and your recovery <3

Farine - amen...evil is very real and does often disguise itself as an angel of light (2 Cor 11:14). God is also very real, and wins this war ultimately (I read the back of the book lol) ... thank you for your kind words

 

[Farine]

...Farine - amen...evil is very real and does often disguise itself as an angel of light (2 Cor 11:14). God is also very real, and wins this war ultimately (I read the back of the book lol) ... thank you for your kind words

You are most welcome. This thread's goal was to discuss the responses of regular church attenders to others.. whether they have big needs or small needs. I've been in church my whole life. I can however tell you exactly WHEN my spirit became aware and alive and empowered.

I want to share with you a small tale of mine riding on a bus. This was a very fully populated Los Angeles Metro Bus where everyone is in everyone else's personal zone. Everybody hopes the other person showered. It isn't a question of whether or not people see one's physicality.. it's pressed into the skin in one way or another.

It was at this point when inspiration struck that not one of (75?) people realized I was a Child of the Most High God.. that I had unique giftings and a call.. or even that I was a nice person. The feedback I got from all these numb individuals was that I was ordinary and unremarkable. If I'm absorbing the feedback of the average person, factoring in their extreme lack of enthusiasm, then I will eventually discard the truth of the High Calling on my life. The majority are incorrect about what is truly important in life. The majority are not to be trusted in providing insight. The majority are blind.

So comes the obvious next question.. WHY are the majority blind? That may be a topic for a different thread.

 

[faroukfarouk]

You are most welcome. This thread's goal was to discuss the responses of regular church attenders to others.. whether they have big needs or small needs. I've been in church my whole life. I can however tell you exactly WHEN my spirit became aware and alive and empowered.

I want to share with you a small tale of mine riding on a bus. This was a very fully populated Los Angeles Metro Bus where everyone is in everyone else's personal zone. Everybody hopes the other person showered. It isn't a question of whether or not people see one's physicality.. it's pressed into the skin in one way or another.

It was at this point when inspiration struck that not one of (75?) people realized I was a Child of the Most High God.. that I had unique giftings and a call.. or even that I was a nice person. The feedback I got from all these numb individuals was that I was ordinary and unremarkable. If I'm absorbing the feedback of the average person, factoring in their extreme lack of enthusiasm, then I will eventually discard the truth of the High Calling on my life. The majority are incorrect about what is truly important in life. The majority are not to be trusted in providing insight. The majority are blind.

So comes the obvious next question.. WHY are the majority blind? That may be a topic for a different thread.

I think it can also be useful to stand back a bit and consider that Biblically church fellowship revolves around prayer and the Scriptures. When other things crowd in to obscure these basic activities, it's a pity.

 

[saintmartha]

While we're talking about how best to respond to you, can you clarify what support you're hoping to receive that doesn't have a twinge of advice? I'm puzzled about that. Like are you hoping to have light-hearted conversations that aren't about the issues you're healing about? Stuff like that.

great question...I'm trained in 12 step, and the rule of thumb always, share YOUR experience, strength, and hope, as it may relate to something someone else said. No advice, like, "have you tried?..." But, saying, "I really like reading the book of Psalms to aid in my recovery," is a vastly different statement.

Still, people can sound very preachy and "helpful" no matter what language they use. They can't help it. They are "fixers" at heart. I have been a fixer all my life. Now, I realize only God can fix me and others. So I just got out of the advice giving business and prayerful, respectfully ask others to not advise me on anything.

I want to read other people stories and experience. I don't want them to suggest how I might carry out my journey.

Thanks for caring enough to clarify. I hope this helps!

 

[Farine]

...I want to read other people stories and experience. I don't want them to suggest how I might carry out my journey...Thanks for caring enough to clarify. I hope this helps!

Yup! I feel clarified. It's interesting the differences coming from my background and then yours from training from the 12 step environment. You might get more questions privately as ideas condense.

 

[Mea_kākau]

I am an SRA survivor with a myriad of struggles, including PTSD, major depression, dissociation, flashbacks, addiction, anxiety (and more, but you get the point).

I have found over the years that the churches I have gone into are anything but welcoming. I have been viewed as an outsider and an outcast. Rather than "Welcome, sister, how may we help you?" it is the fake smiles, fake faces, fake people, interacting minimally and then herding into their respective cliques. I find this to be not only appalling in a human sense, but are Christians not supposed to be welcoming to all as Christ was? Has anyone else experienced this sort of "church snubbing"?

Wow! I could've written this myself. Thank you for writing this. Your post confirmed my experiences.

One in particular was difficult to take. A pastor told me I couldn't participate in any church ministry until I was fully healed from my abuse. I left that church immediately hearing that and never returned.

After that I learned to share nothing with other Christians. Along the way I found one Christian friend outside of church who I confided in. Eventually she couldn't tolerate my sharing due to the content.

I too am an SRA survivor. Though I would say now I am an SRA thriver as I no longer focus on healing from it as part of my daily life.

 

[Farine]

Hello Mea_kākau, it's good to know that more survivors are on Christian Forums. I do remember that when I respond. Many more read these words than take up typing to give their reactions,. Welcome to the discussion.

There are those who could handle on an ongoing basis the pure, raw power of what you experienced. To discard the truth that the church holds along with the lackluster performance of its occupants is unwise. Jesus is still active--I'm hoping that your thriving status is because you are still hanging out with Jesus.

I agree most people aren't prepared to see the results of evil that Satan's worshipers do. Nor are they as equipped to love as unconditionally as this needs. Nor are they able to demonstrate the power that being a Child of God includes. There are those among us who are equipped, who do love and do have access to the power which Jesus promised. It's not as bleak as one supposes..

 

[PropheticTimes]

Thank you for your words, Mea_kākau. I once had a pastor call me and yell at me for making "one of his sheep" uncomfortable and was told that he was the shepherd of his sheep (yes, he used those words) and he was going to protect them. My heart broke. Was not I also a "sheep"? No, I was an outsider. I have not been to a church since.

Farine, I have been lucky enough to find someone who displays those qualities to me. Unfortunately he is on the other side of the globe, but I am blessed to be able to talk with him, and be 100% authentic with him, and know that his love and caring is unconditional and non-judgmental. He is the only person I have ever met who truly lives in 'Christ-likeness'.

 

[Farine]

Jesus is a better Savior than people are at sinning. Thank God, or none of us could hope.

It's a mystery what wounds and burdens Jesus resolves in our time on earth and which Jesus chooses to resolve after death. I can testify that many of the issues that I used to have are fully healed. Some healing was directly from God. Some people were involved in other parts. Having and raising children helped me overcome other things. Life itself with its demands and requirements pushed me to grow. All of these things together, I believe, was orchestrated for my benefit.

Prophetic, you are Jesus' sheep. No human can deny your right to the Kingdom of Heaven's citizenship. They don't have the authority. Make the distinction between what God says and does and what fallible human beings say and do. God loves you!

 

[PropheticTimes]

Thank you, Farine, very much.

 

[Mea_kākau]

Hello Mea_kākau, it's good to know that more survivors are on Christian Forums. I do remember that when I respond. Many more read these words than take up typing to give their reactions,. Welcome to the discussion.

There are those who could handle on an ongoing basis the pure, raw power of what you experienced. To discard the truth that the church holds along with the lackluster performance of its occupants is unwise. Jesus is still active--I'm hoping that your thriving status is because you are still hanging out with Jesus.

OOPS!
I meant to say, I have not discarded the truth of God. I never stopped hanging out with Jesus. He's who helped me through my darkest days and nights. Many times I prayed, "Lord heal me in Your way and in Your time," as that was all I could pray at the time, and I felt the presence of God in the midst of my darkness.