Struggle For Acceptance In Church

[PropheticTimes]

I am an SRA survivor with a myriad of struggles, including PTSD, major depression, dissociation, flashbacks, addiction, anxiety (and more, but you get the point).

I have found over the years that the churches I have gone into are anything but welcoming. I have been viewed as an outsider and an outcast. Rather than "Welcome, sister, how may we help you?" it is the fake smiles, fake faces, fake people, interacting minimally and then herding into their respective cliques. I find this to be not only appalling in a human sense, but are Christians not supposed to be welcoming to all as Christ was? Has anyone else experienced this sort of "church snubbing"?

This video has been around a while, but I cannot put my feelings into words any better. I agree whole-heartedly.

 

[Press On]

Hello,

I'm so sorry you have had to experience this within the organized Christian church. Unfortunately it is all too common.

If you feel like you want to be a part of a local body, I believe it would be wise to be VERY mindful of what you say. Once a person or small group of people have earned your trust, proceed with caution. Things there are not as they seem. Be blessed.

 

[PropheticTimes]

Thank you, Press On, much appreciated.

 

[com7fy8]

be VERY mindful of what you say.

amen

I have tried to make Christian friends, by starting right in with telling them all my personal stuff. But now I understand that if I love God's people, I hope to spend all eternity with us. So, what's the hurry? Take your time to share with people and get to know each other. Test if and how someone is ready to be trusted.

If people are hiding in groups, you can simply come to church and sit still in one place; and whoever knows how to relate in love can come to you. And you can be still and pray.

But, yes, there are church groups who are institutionalized social clubs. So, in such a place there may be no Christians. But Jesus wants us to love anyone, wherever we go. So, it can help to pray and be ready to love anyone and everyone, even if they don't accept you.

I have told people about my evil past, and ones have blasted me, but others have known how to handle me very well, and they would give me very helpful example and advice for how to share.

So, there will always be ones who do not know how to love you!! But Jesus wants us to be ready to love those who reject us. We can be their example We need to be strong so we can forgive those who do not know how to love; have compassion, even, for them, considering they are missing out on so much.

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

In my church, there have been problem people, but I already knew the real ones; so I did not let the wrong ones control what I decided to do. It is wise not to let wrong people have power over us to determine what we do and where we go. I keep discovering how the problem people also had trouble getting along with the leadership and people in their personal lives; so if they can't handle you, they might be fleeing since they already can't handle the relationships and trouble they already have gotten themselves into.

And a real preacher will always say things which can help you deal with good things and problems. Somehow, every message will be relevant, helping you with details or with general things to help you grow in Jesus so you mature in learning how to take care of troubles. And any scripture, I offer, can help you somehow So, you can take in what is said or what you read, and pray for how it can help you.

 

[PropheticTimes]

thank you, com7fy8

I am just disappointed in the church as a whole. It is no longer what it was meant to be and that makes me very sad.

 

[com7fy8]

You are welcome Prophetic Times Work in Progress

I keep hearing and reading how people can have deep troubles and people claiming to be Christian can be critical of them, or afraid of them. But if we have problems, so do other people. Possibly, they would be like us if the same things happened to them. If people do not have the ability to be secure and compassionate with you, this could mean they do not know how to love, and they are deeply weak if they are not in God's love; so they fear getting hurt; possibly, they fear what could be in them.

So, part of our recovery includes we become strong and able to care for others who can seem inexcusable . . . and impossible. I have taken a bashing or two, whether for something my fault or not. But with this I can pray and trust God to make me how He desires for me to be with wrong people.

If church people are wrong, this can be because they are indeed clueless. But I have shared with people who are for real, in places with ones who could be nasty and incorrigible and snotty and bratty. And pastors will be patient and kind with such people. In our church, it seems our for real ones adopt the ones who have problems; and the ones who can be nasty might keep on with it . . . while the for real ones keep with it, not giving up >

Love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7). Jesus never gave up on any of His disciples

So, I have been one to self-righteously criticize hypocrites and bratty snotty people. But prayer and examples have won, with me, I would say >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

 

[PropheticTimes]

^wonderful wisdom, thank you

 

[com7fy8]

^wonderful wisdom, thank you

You are welcome; I am learning Thank you for the appreciation and encouragement

 

[BeStill&Know]

I am an SRA survivor with a myriad of struggles, including PTSD, major depression, dissociation, flashbacks, addiction, anxiety (and more, but you get the point).One of my fav teachers. Yes I am also an outcast in church.
Use this passage in your life to draw closer to the Lord Jesus. You will not only find healing strength in Him, but at some point further down the road it won't matter how the church treats you. It will no longer be about you, but Him.

I have found over the years that the churches I have gone into are anything but welcoming. I have been viewed as an outsider and an outcast. Rather than "Welcome, sister, how may we help you?" it is the fake smiles, fake faces, fake people, interacting minimally and then herding into their respective cliques. I find this to be not only appalling in a human sense, but are Christians not supposed to be welcoming to all as Christ was? Has anyone else experienced this sort of "church snubbing"?

This video has been around a while, but I cannot put my feelings into words any better. I agree whole-heartedly.

 

[com7fy8]

In the video, what he means is right. He is talking about human and deceived and maybe copy-cat religion.

But the Bible does say >

"Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." (James 1:27)

So, there is religion which is Biblical. And it looks to me like ones can be so busy with criticizing wrong religion, that they don't even know about the scripture about God's way of religion. We need to not let our criticizing of what is wrong keep our attention away from all that is good in God's word.

In the video, he talks about what is good, as well as what is wrong, though; so this is good.

Another thing > James in chapter two does say we need works. But his examples in this chapter are works of love . . . including with personal communication with God and obeying His personal directions, and personally helping a needy person or a servant of God. So, the Bible plainly means, to me, how we need to have wholesome activities of love . . . like how a little child needs to have wholesome activities in order for the child to grow and develop right.

But people have gotten so into saying religious works are wrong, that we can neglect to feed on all the Bible says about what are good works.

So, feed on the Bible and the good example of Christian people, and do not feed only on how church culture and in-crowd folks are wrong. Have compassion, actually, for ones who are missing out and who do not know how to love. Be strong, so wrong ones can't have power over us to control our attention away from all God has for us. This is included in keeping "unspotted from the world." Hypocrites can be a temptation for us to be self-righteously criticizing and competing with them! Our own ego might not like their competition, then.

"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2)

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Have hope for yourself but also for any and all people > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7). Jesus on the cross so suffered and died because He has hope for any of us; He went through all that because of how convinced He is that there is hope for us to be delivered from our sin problems and torments (1 John 4:17-18), and instead to be with God and living in His own love ! ! ! And by His resurrection we have His own almighty power for succeeding in this.

 

[Dave-W]

PropheticTimes: have you been prayed over by someone who operates frequently in the charismatic gift of discerning of spirits? (1 Cor 12.10)

Those who have been involved in the occult (SRA certainly qualifies even though it was not your choice) almost always come away with certain demonic attachments. But those ties and attachments can be broken by the name and blood of Jesus.

 

[PropheticTimes]

I do have a friend who has prayed over me and some attachments have left. He has done so as they have surfaced so I am unsure if there are any more.

 

[Dave-W]

that is great! Keep up the prayer. If there are more, God will make that evident.

Have you seen progress in your life in the specific areas of the attachments that have been severed?

 

[PropheticTimes]

I have many dissociations so it is difficult to tell but in my opinion any of them gone is an improvement.

Thank you.

 

[teresa]

.

 

[saintmartha]

dear prophetic times,
your thread is what got me to join this community. I am healing from ptsd-given, so generously, to me by parents and church leaders. I CANNOT attend church, and I'm even a bit shy about posting on a Christian forum, since I have been shamed and belittled on other forums for not going to church, (Mass, as I am Catholic.)

But, I joined because I'm sitting around, trying to feel horrible feelings, and I have no support outside of my therapist. A have a recovery group for women abused in early childhood starting in the fall. But in the summer, no one seems to be around.

I do art therapy, pilates, (which is surprisingly therapeutic, depending on the "school") and am a writer and photographer who is not working right now. My life feels sort of on hold.

Thank you PT for posting such an honest topic. I will wrestle through this one for a long time to come, I am sure. Thanks for opening up a safe spot to begin...

 

[saintmartha]

P.S. I would really love it if people that respond to me, refrain from offering advice-however kindly meant. God has provided me with everything He wants me to have for my healing season. And, at my age, I have tried it all. Everything, that is, but sitting and feeling what I stuffed so long ago. I'm here to get support to allow the pain to wash through, over, and off me so I can, perhaps, for once, and finally, FEEL loved by God. Thanks!

 

[Farine]

Hello PropheticTimes. I want to especially greet whomever inside is reading this for your crew.
You have one massive advantage over nearly every other person on the planet. You absolutely know evil exists. That means you understand God is real from a very deep place in your being.

This means you're not playing church. You're really there for its intended purposes. God will use that for His Kingdom and Glory. We've only just met so I don't want to overload this one post with all kinds of activity. There are people who understand what you mean when you say SRA. I got it immediately. Most people are so involved in their lives that they barely register what is going on across the street let alone what happens in secret...

 

[Farine]

P.S. I would really love it if people that respond to me, refrain from offering advice-however kindly meant. God has provided me with everything He wants me to have for my healing season. And, at my age, I have tried it all. Everything, that is, but sitting and feeling what I stuffed so long ago. I'm here to get support to allow the pain to wash through, over, and off me so I can, perhaps, for once, and finally, FEEL loved by God. Thanks!

Saint Martha,
I truly love that you have picked that name for yourself. It's forward thinking and projecting the victory onto now. I find that really, really wonderful. I was typing to Prophetic Times first.. and then saw your P.S. HI! You're in the right place.

I DO have some insights that will help you. In rushing to offer them, there is the risk that I sound like a know-it-all, or worse--an person who loves to talk without listening. i hear you! Healing is some of the hardest work any of us will ever do. So write me back and we'll take it from there....

 

[saintmartha]

Thanks

Saint Martha,
I truly love that you have picked that name for yourself. It's forward thinking and projecting the victory onto now. I find that really, really wonderful. I was typing to Prophetic Times first.. and then saw your P.S. HI! You're in the right place.

I DO have some insights that will help you. In rushing to offer them, there is the risk that I sound like a know-it-all, or worse--an person who loves to talk without listening. i hear you! Healing is some of the hardest work any of us will ever do. So write me back and we'll take it from there....

thanks for your warm thoughts, farine. I will look forward to getting to know you better as I read your activity on the forum. i'm brand new and have learned, finally, to take it slow.

my real name is something different, btw. I have "taken" the name "marta" and "saintmartha" in honor of my favorite saint, Martha of Bethany. I am a housewife who uses workaholism to distract myself from the important work of being still.

blessings as you continue your journey!