Staying the night at my boyfriends house

DawnStar

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Sometimes people have a guilty conscience because others have raised them to believing certain behaviors are wrong when in fact they are not. It takes a while for people to discover that what they have been taught about being wrong is not in fact wrong but man created rules. Sounds like this is the case in this instance.
 
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John Davidson

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I know there have probably been many forums on this topic but I'm going to ask anyway. My boyfriend and I are in our twenties and have been together a year. Our faith is exremely important to us and we are waiting til marriage for any type of sexual relationship. My air conditioning broke the other night and it was 92 degrees in my home. It was too hot for me to sleep there so I crashed on his couch downstairs. He has a roommate who lives in the downstairs bedroom and he stays upstairs. All I did was sleep and I never saw him the whole night too he came downstairs fully dressed and so was I. Nothing happened. I left for work and that was it. Nothing like that has happened before. I just didn't want to stay in my home when it was so hot. However, my mother says that's wrong. I think that's just one opinion but she says its wrong no matter the circumstance. Can anyone else shed some light on this? Thank you!

Why don't you stay at your Mother's instead?
 
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turkle

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I know there have probably been many forums on this topic but I'm going to ask anyway. My boyfriend and I are in our twenties and have been together a year. Our faith is exremely important to us and we are waiting til marriage for any type of sexual relationship. My air conditioning broke the other night and it was 92 degrees in my home. It was too hot for me to sleep there so I crashed on his couch downstairs. He has a roommate who lives in the downstairs bedroom and he stays upstairs. All I did was sleep and I never saw him the whole night too he came downstairs fully dressed and so was I. Nothing happened. I left for work and that was it. Nothing like that has happened before. I just didn't want to stay in my home when it was so hot. However, my mother says that's wrong. I think that's just one opinion but she says its wrong no matter the circumstance. Can anyone else shed some light on this? Thank you!

While what you did was totally innocent, the Lord tells us to avoid all appearances of evil. Now you are explaining yourself, feeling the need to tell everybody that nothing happened. It really is no one's business, but you are now compelled to say it because you don't want anyone to think less of you. Because you have opened the door to the possibility of compromising your principles, people will wonder.

I'm sure that there were other options open to you, as others have said. Other friends, your family (if they are near), a motel. I would consider those options in the future.
 
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Mudinyeri

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... the Lord tells us to avoid all appearances of evil.

In whose opinion? I'd be willing to bet that I can find someone who sees an appearance of evil on either side of any alleged sin, including sex before state or church-sanctioned marriage.
 
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Dave-W

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While what you did was totally innocent, the Lord tells us to avoid all appearances of evil.
That does NOT mean to avoid something because it looks bad. (a quirk of English makes it read that way) If that were true the Lord Himself violated it over and over.

It means to avoid evil in every form in which it appears.
 
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Goodbook

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Fornication is sin, not a mothers principal.
The bible also tells us to flee youthful lusts. If i recall, OP is a christian.

This is what her mother is concerned about, as she should be. OP what you did was wrong but you can be forgiven just dont do it again. If ac isnt working we just endure it till it gets fixed. Its no big deal but a bigger deal would be if we constantly went and stayed the night at someone elses house whenever things arent working or cant sleep.
 
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Mudinyeri

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Fornication is sin, not a mothers principal.
The bible also tells us to flee youthful lusts. If i recall, OP is a christian.

This is what her mother is concerned about, as she should be. OP what you did was wrong but you can be forgiven just dont do it again. If ac isnt working we just endure it till it gets fixed. Its no big deal but a bigger deal would be if we constantly went and stayed the night at someone elses house whenever things arent working or cant sleep.

Have you done a word study on "fornication" in the Bible? To quote Inigo Montoya, from The Princess Bride, "... that word, I do not think it means what you think it means." In fact, pre-marital sex is specifically not mentioned among the other types of "fornication" in the Old Testament.

OP, based on what you described, you did nothing wrong. Don't let humans lay a guilt trip on your while wandering around blinded by their own sin and guilt. Instead, listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
 
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DawnStar

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OP what you did was wrong but you can be forgiven just dont do it again.
You either did not understand the OP or you do not know your bible like you think you do. She did NOTHING wrong so there is nothing to be forgiven for.
 
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Dave-W

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Have you done a word study on "fornication" in the Bible? .... pre-marital sex is specifically not mentioned among the other types of "fornication" in the Old Testament.
The Greek word in the NT that Gentiles are forbidden to do (Acts 15) is inappropriate contentia. How that word was used in the first century among the Greek speaking Diaspora Jews definitely INCLUDED premarital sex.

What do you think "playing the harlot" means? It is NOT prostitution.

Ya know - I find that whole argument very similar in nature to the one the LGBT community uses to say the Bible does not condemn homosexuality when it clearly does.

Both are just efforts trying to get around the biblical command for holy living.
 
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Goodbook

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Yes i know what it means and i dont quote fantasy stories either.
You do not place yourself in the path of tempation and that is what her mother is concerned about.

Otherwise she wouldnt have said anything. Dont try and justify sin because maybe you did it.
I have been there too and know how men can be, even professed christian men.

We are not here to argue, the OP asked for biblical advice, not princess bride fantasies.
 
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St_Worm2

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Our faith is extremely important to us and we are waiting til marriage for any type of sexual relationship.

Hi C-Girl, first off, I think it is extremely cool that the two of you have decided to wait until you're married :oldthumbsup: It's the right thing to do (difficult as that may be in our world today) and I know that your lives (and your marriage) will be specially blessed because of it :) It's also the right thing to do to honor God and stay strong in your faith, and what a 'wonderful' thing for others to see (your steadfast commitment to each other, to your principles, and to God .. 1 Corinthians 15:58), both to those of us who are in the faith, and to those outside of it, as well!

As a parent (and as someone who actually was your age once .. believe it or not :D), I would have had the same concerns that your Mom did if you were my daughter. On the one hand, there is an inherent danger in putting two young, healthy adults (especially when they are in love with each other) in close, unsupervised proximity to one another, especially at night (even when they are committed Christians with the best of intentions ;)).

On the other hand, as committed Christians, we always have to be aware that people are watching everything we do closely, because the peculiar way that we chose to live our lives speaks volumes to those who are living in the world. In fact, it just confirms what their consciences have been trying so hard to tell them, that there really 'is' something wrong with the way that they're choosing to live their lives!!

Far and away, the Bible's main purpose in the life of a non-Christian is to show them what they're really like in comparison to God's righteous standard, and in doing so, cause them to turn to Christ that they may be justified by faith (Galatians 3:24). And as Christians (and therefore God's witnesses .. Isaiah 43:10; Matthew 4:19; Acts 1:8), what we say and (especially) what we do around those in the world may be the only "Bible" they ever get to "read" :preach:

Did you 'commit' a sin when you spent the night at your boyfriend's house? No. Was it the right thing to do? I think you're perfectly capable of deciding that one for yourself ;)

Your commitment to abstinence means that you two are much more of a blessing to others than you probably realize! Keep up the great work in His wonderful name :amen:

Yours in Christ,
David


"You are already of consequence in the world if you are known
as a man or a woman of strict integrity"

Grenville Klesier
 
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Mudinyeri

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Both are just efforts trying to get around the biblical command for holy living.

You'll get no argument from me on the "holy living" thing. Of course, we are only made holy through Christ and cannot be holy on our own.

Based on my Survey of New Testament History (and other) classes, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you on the whole "Greek speaking Diaspora Jews" and "forbidden for Gentiles" thing, though.
 
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Mudinyeri

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Yes i know what it means and i dont quote fantasy stories either.
You do not place yourself in the path of tempation and that is what her mother is concerned about.

Otherwise she wouldnt have said anything. Dont try and justify sin because maybe you did it.
I have been there too and know how men can be, even professed christian men.

We are not here to argue, the OP asked for biblical advice, not princess bride fantasies.

What's wrong with quoting fantasy stories if the quote is appropriate to the situation? Is that a sin too? I'm going to have to go back and read Leviticus.

I literally chuckled out loud when you blamed men. Talk about fantasy stories.

It seems that you are here to argue and judge and assume facts not in evidence.
 
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St_Worm2

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sunshine456

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If nothing happened, nothing happened and you needed a place to be comfortable until AC issue is resolved. The question I have is why didn't you stay with MOM or another friend? Perhaps a girlfriend? Or a cheap motel?

Scenarios can put us at risk that may create temptation to 'act' out, but if you are telling the truth then 'nothing' happened and all is well. So NO fret.

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
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