Spiritual Gifts?

[Hopes]

Hi sorry for the second post in two days. I guess I am sort of trying to take inventory of my life and deciding what to keep and what to dismiss as bipolar disorder. I would have posted this in the forum for spiritual gifts but I don't seem to have privileges there. I am not sure if I did something wrong or what happened.

Anyway I started reading that forum and I started thinking I am not sure if I really even have any spiritual gifts or not. The only thing I could think of is a kind of strange and I am not even sure if it would even be considered a spiritual gift. It also just could be bipolar disorder so I am left kind of confused about it.

I will try to explain this. Ok the way I see people is there are some very good people and some very bad people (thieves, violent people etc.) but the vast majority of people are some where in the middle of these two extremes. All of these types of people I consider normal people and they make up probably 99.999% of the people out there. Then there are these other ones.

I will give you an example. Also this happened before I ever had a manic episode as my mania didn't start until my 30s. Before then they thought I had major depression. Anyway this is going to sound weird but here goes.

One time when we lived in a major city out west. I was at the grocery store with the kids. We were about to leave the store and I was bent down dealing with the kids (they were little then) when someone walked in the door of the store. I felt this guy walk in before I ever saw him. It was like instant fear and a overwhelming feeling.

I looked up at him and quickly gathered up my kids and backed away from him. Something just wasn't right about that guy. It was like feeling pure evil walking right by me. I don't know if he was just an evil person or had a demon or what but something wasn't right about that guy. I grabbed the kids and got out of there as quickly as I could.

Now this does not happen very often. I think running into people like that has only happened less than 5 times in my entire life. I am not even sure what I am dealing with. Whatever it is its like an instant fear and I really have to grab ahold of myself to keep it from showing.

Now I will admit I do have anxiety but that usually revolves around me being worried that I will say the wrong thing or do something embarrassing around other people. Its not like this though, this is more like a terrifying fear.

I will also admit I am not really good with people, I am probably too sensitive, have anxiety and since I have bipolar disorder I don't really let people into my life. I don't want anyone to be in my life, then go manic, and have to loose them as a friend because it would be too embarrassing and would hurt me too much. So for these reasons I pretty much keep to myself.

So do you think something like that could even be a spiritual gift? If that's not one then I am pretty sure I don't have one.

Thanks

 

[Stillicidia]

Everyone has a gift, whether it is baking, making something, painting.
It would be whatever you happen to love to do the most, naturally.

I felt a dark presence around some peoples too, but I don't tolerate darkness, I tend to keep away from them. Their dark presence I might assume is them also, not any sort of dark entity, because I don't tolerate that the entities be near me.

Try and destroy anxiety, don't tolerate it. Have some aggression against it. Courage is what a child of God needs, be angry at it, and ask God to loose it from you on a daily basis, loose anxiety daily, and all other evils and junk. What you loose on Earth is loosed in Heaven. Daily, say I loose all evil and junk from my soul, and it will not manifest its self in your mind. Loose as soon as you see that which you do not tolerate, and it will not (just) pop up in your mind again.

 

[Greg J.]

Hi sorry for the second post in two days.

It is fine to post a lot more than that.

I would have posted this in the forum for spiritual gifts but I don't seem to have privileges there. I am not sure if I did something wrong or what happened.

If you did something wrong, it would have been explained to you by a moderator. There may be a technical problem that one of them could look into for you. I think you could ask about it in the Member Services forum.

Anyway I started reading that forum and I started thinking I am not sure if I really even have any spiritual gifts or not. The only thing I could think of is a kind of strange and I am not even sure if it would even be considered a spiritual gift. It also just could be bipolar disorder so I am left kind of confused about it.

God may have given you the gift of having world-class talent in playing bocce, but you probably wouldn't know before God leads you to it. Even then you wouldn't be world-class without good instruction and years of practice. Who knows what your spiritual gifts may be?

IMO, sometimes people do not find their supernatural spiritual gifts because they are not in an environment which will nurture and help them with it. It can be a harmful, devastating experience for spiritual gifts to start manifesting without at least somewhat knowledgeable people to support you. It can be pretty awful at a church where they don't believe in the spiritual gifts (you'd probably need to change churches if this is the case). In the short-term, you can study 1 Corinthians chapters 12 and 14.

I felt this guy walk in before I ever saw him. It was like instant fear and a overwhelming feeling. ... Something just wasn't right about that guy. It was like feeling pure evil walking right by me. I don't know if he was just an evil person or had a demon or what but something wasn't right about that guy. I grabbed the kids and got out of there as quickly as I could.

It could be either of the reasons you say. It could also be that Satan is trying to deceive you by oppressing you directly when you have contact with certain people to make you think they are somehow evil. All of these possibilities requires a degree of spiritual sensitivity. If you have never had psychotic episodes, then having that sensitivity is a reasonable possibility. More importantly, turn your heart and mind to Jesus and the fact that he will definitely help you with those situations. Ask him for what you want him to do (e.g., "please protect me and my kids," "should I leave, Lord?"). Mentally recite verses you know are true to bring His light to your thoughts and feelings when you perceive darkness. Your response to remove yourself from the situation is fine. Certainly behave wisely, but recognize that in Christ you have all you need to overcome evil. This is the sort of stuff you can learn at a church that is equipped to help people with supernatural spiritual gifts.

I will also admit I am not really good with people, I am probably too sensitive, have anxiety and since I have bipolar disorder I don't really let people into my life.

I suspect this is not uncommon with people with bipolar disorder, although I would generalize it to being driven to behave in ways that attempt to avoid and reduce pain. Have you ever been to a bipolar support group? You could ask the various mental services in town (e.g., your psychiatrist's office) if they know of any. However, if you have integrated, in your mind, your illness with the spiritual world, you may have to stick with meeting with Christians. Every church has people with mental illnesses, although that doesn't mean they are organized. A single spiritually mature person at your church who has had severe mental illness can be a treasure. Don't be shy in seeking to sit down and talk with them. It's probably their responsibility (in God's eyes) to do so.

So do you think something like that could even be a spiritual gift? If that's not one then I am pretty sure I don't have one.

One spiritual gift is the gift of spiritual discernment, which can be anything from what you describe to knowing whether a woman is pregnant with a boy or a girl. However, you don't really need to have any spiritual gift to have the experiences you describe. Spiritual sensitivity can allow that, too.

 

[bcbsr]

Hi sorry for the second post in two days. I guess I am sort of trying to take inventory of my life and deciding what to keep and what to dismiss as bipolar disorder. I would have posted this in the forum for spiritual gifts but I don't seem to have privileges there. I am not sure if I did something wrong or what happened.

Anyway I started reading that forum and I started thinking I am not sure if I really even have any spiritual gifts or not. The only thing I could think of is a kind of strange and I am not even sure if it would even be considered a spiritual gift. It also just could be bipolar disorder so I am left kind of confused about it.

I will try to explain this. Ok the way I see people is there are some very good people and some very bad people (thieves, violent people etc.) but the vast majority of people are some where in the middle of these two extremes. All of these types of people I consider normal people and they make up probably 99.999% of the people out there. Then there are these other ones.

I will give you an example. Also this happened before I ever had a manic episode as my mania didn't start until my 30s. Before then they thought I had major depression. Anyway this is going to sound weird but here goes.

One time when we lived in a major city out west. I was at the grocery store with the kids. We were about to leave the store and I was bent down dealing with the kids (they were little then) when someone walked in the door of the store. I felt this guy walk in before I ever saw him. It was like instant fear and a overwhelming feeling.

I looked up at him and quickly gathered up my kids and backed away from him. Something just wasn't right about that guy. It was like feeling pure evil walking right by me. I don't know if he was just an evil person or had a demon or what but something wasn't right about that guy. I grabbed the kids and got out of there as quickly as I could.

Now this does not happen very often. I think running into people like that has only happened less than 5 times in my entire life. I am not even sure what I am dealing with. Whatever it is its like an instant fear and I really have to grab ahold of myself to keep it from showing.

Now I will admit I do have anxiety but that usually revolves around me being worried that I will say the wrong thing or do something embarrassing around other people. Its not like this though, this is more like a terrifying fear.

I will also admit I am not really good with people, I am probably too sensitive, have anxiety and since I have bipolar disorder I don't really let people into my life. I don't want anyone to be in my life, then go manic, and have to loose them as a friend because it would be too embarrassing and would hurt me too much. So for these reasons I pretty much keep to myself.

So do you think something like that could even be a spiritual gift? If that's not one then I am pretty sure I don't have one.

Thanks

Seeing as we are commanded, "Do not be anxious about anything" Php 4:6a, I don't think that fear and anxiety would characterize a spiritual gift.

 

[Hopes]

Everyone has a gift, whether it is baking, making something, painting.
It would be whatever you happen to love to do the most, naturally.

I felt a dark presence around some peoples too, but I don't tolerate darkness, I tend to keep away from them. Their dark presence I might assume is them also, not any sort of dark entity, because I don't tolerate that the entities be near me.

Try and destroy anxiety, don't tolerate it. Have some aggression against it. Courage is what a child of God needs, be angry at it, and ask God to loose it from you on a daily basis, loose anxiety daily, and all other evils and junk. What you loose on Earth is loosed in Heaven. Daily, say I loose all evil and junk from my soul, and it will not manifest its self in your mind. Loose as soon as you see that which you do not tolerate, and it will not (just) pop up in your mind again.

I think that's a good idea to pray when I have anxiety because I don't like taking the medication for it (its addictive) and it always seems to happen when I don't have any medication with me anyway. I am going to try it and see if it works.

 

[Hopes]

It is fine to post a lot more than that.

If you did something wrong, it would have been explained to you by a moderator. There may be a technical problem that one of them could look into for you. I think you could ask about it in the Member Services forum.

God may have given you the gift of having world-class talent in playing bocce, but you probably wouldn't know before God leads you to it. Even then you wouldn't be world-class without good instruction and years of practice. Who knows what your spiritual gifts may be?

IMO, sometimes people do not find their supernatural spiritual gifts because they are not in an environment which will nurture and help them with it. It can be a harmful, devastating experience for spiritual gifts to start manifesting without at least somewhat knowledgeable people to support you. It can be pretty awful at a church where they don't believe in the spiritual gifts (you'd probably need to change churches if this is the case). In the short-term, you can study 1 Corinthians chapters 12 and 14.

It could be either of the reasons you say. It could also be that Satan is trying to deceive you by oppressing you directly when you have contact with certain people to make you think they are somehow evil. All of these possibilities requires a degree of spiritual sensitivity. If you have never had psychotic episodes, then having that sensitivity is a reasonable possibility. More importantly, turn your heart and mind to Jesus and the fact that he will definitely help you with those situations. Ask him for what you want him to do (e.g., "please protect me and my kids," "should I leave, Lord?"). Mentally recite verses you know are true to bring His light to your thoughts and feelings when you perceive darkness. Your response to remove yourself from the situation is fine. Certainly behave wisely, but recognize that in Christ you have all you need to overcome evil. This is the sort of stuff you can learn at a church that is equipped to help people with supernatural spiritual gifts.

I suspect this is not uncommon with people with bipolar disorder, although I would generalize it to being driven to behave in ways that attempt to avoid and reduce pain. Have you ever been to a bipolar support group? You could ask the various mental services in town (e.g., your psychiatrist's office) if they know of any. However, if you have integrated, in your mind, your illness with the spiritual world, you may have to stick with meeting with Christians. Every church has people with mental illnesses, although that doesn't mean they are organized. A single spiritually mature person at your church who has had severe mental illness can be a treasure. Don't be shy in seeking to sit down and talk with them. It's probably their responsibility (in God's eyes) to do so.

One spiritual gift is the gift of spiritual discernment, which can be anything from what you describe to knowing whether a woman is pregnant with a boy or a girl. However, you don't really need to have any spiritual gift to have the experiences you describe. Spiritual sensitivity can allow that, too.

Thanks for your post. I really don't know if I have the gift of spiritual discernment or not. Thanks for the bible verses, I am going to look at that. Your right though, it really could be satan trying to deceive me so if anything I think I should approach the whole thing with caution. I almost don't want to have a gift like that. I really just want to be normal.

As for churches well this is going to sound awful. I know I need to do better with this. I guess the problem is two fold. Part of it is me, I really fear going to Church and having to either out myself as mentally ill or having a manic episode do it for me. People talk, and this is a small town. I am afraid that if I did tell them about this then everywhere I would go people would be talking bad about me. Stuff like there goes that crazy lady etc. I don't know if I could live with that.

The second part might sound equally bad but I am having a hard time finding a Church that I would want to go to. I will tell you some of the things that I saw when I tied two different Churches.

The first one I tried I actually liked it at first. They were playing kind of hip music which was a switch from what I ever saw in a Church before. I wasn't upset about it, it was just different. Then came down to the sermon, well, it was not what I would expect. It was something about Starbucks. It just didn't seem right to me.

I did go back there again just to see if I caught it on an off day and for some reason that day all they talked about was Church finances. The whole Sunday was about money. That didn't sit to well with me. The Church I grew up in, I never knew anything about the finances, and no way would they use up a Sunday sermon to talk about money. I guess they had a lot of money, that's all I got out of going to that place.

The second Church I tried, well right through the doors they had this big screen TV. On the screen they were playing this video and it was all military equipment. I am not anti military or anything like that, actually when I was young I was in the military for 6 years. All I could think was war machines inside a Church? I thought OK just sit down and listen to what the sermon is. Well I could hear these ladies gossiping and I thought what would they say about a person like me?

So anyway the sermon started. It didn't seem bad at first but then its like the guy got mean. The last thing he said before I got up and walked out was, some of you are not even saved. That did it for me, I mean the only one who knows if your saved or not is God Himself, not that guy. I just told my husband I would meet him in the car and walked out of that place. My husband went with me and so did a few other people.

So since then I have not went back out looking for a Church. I know that's wrong of me and I need to get up the courage to try again.

 

[Greg J.]

It's not wrong of you to walk out of a church no one should be at. If you think about it, a lot of sermons are about us, human nature, affirming our troubles, support, etc. They often include Bible verses. But what is most important is that when the sermon is over you know Jesus better. What does Jesus think about you. What does Jesus do for you. Talking about us doesn't do that. Explaining Scripture doesn't necessarily do that, either. (Is it explained so we will connect to God's perspective and know him better?) A pastor that has learned to stick to that is going to have a church with some people in who will be supportive of you no matter what your problems are. (Note that we are to encourage each other, too.)

Side notes:

A really good Sunday experience (or any Christian gathering) is for someone to talk about what God has done in their life when what is said is clearly supernatural. That builds faith.

Examine the lyrics to what is sung. Note the difference between lyrics that can be you worshiping God ("How great thou art") and an explanation or exhortation about God that someone might say to another person ("And when I think of God, His son not sparing"). Worship comes from the heart, not what the lyrics say, but it points out how difficult it is for people to keep their hearts focused on Jesus. It is a good practice to consider how you pray. Are you saying things to him like he was in the room or projecting wishful thinking "out there"? Wishful prayer isn't "wrong." I'm just trying to make a point about a perspective to adopt that allows one to examine their own heart. Are you worshiping God himself? Is the pastor preaching Jesus?

... When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church. (1 Corinthians 14:26b, 1984 NIV)

Does this describe your (whoever reads this) church?

 

[Greg J.]

I think that's a good idea to pray when I have anxiety because I don't like taking the medication for it (its addictive) and it always seems to happen when I don't have any medication with me anyway. I am going to try it and see if it works.

There are a number of non-addictive options, although I can't say they don't have a milder effect than what you're thinking of. Any help is better than none, though, for something like this.

 

[Hopes]

It's not wrong of you to walk out of a church no one should be at. If you think about it, a lot of sermons are about us, human nature, affirming our troubles, support, etc. They often include Bible verses. But what is most important is that when the sermon is over you know Jesus better. What does Jesus think about you. What does Jesus do for you. Talking about us doesn't do that. Explaining Scripture doesn't necessarily do that, either. (Is it explained so we will connect to God's perspective and know him better?) A pastor that has learned to stick to that is going to have a church with some people in who will be supportive of you no matter what your problems are. (Note that we are to encourage each other, too.)

Side notes:

A really good Sunday experience (or any Christian gathering) is for someone to talk about what God has done in their life when what is said is clearly supernatural. That builds faith.

Examine the lyrics to what is sung. Note the difference between lyrics that can be you worshiping God ("How great thou art") and an explanation or exhortation about God that someone might say to another person ("And when I think of God, His son not sparing"). Worship comes from the heart, not what the lyrics say, but it points out how difficult it is for people to keep their hearts focused on Jesus. It is a good practice to consider how you pray. Are you saying things to him like he was in the room or projecting wishful thinking "out there"? Wishful prayer isn't "wrong." I'm just trying to make a point about a perspective to adopt that allows one to examine their own heart. Are you worshiping God himself? Is the pastor preaching Jesus?

... When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church. (1 Corinthians 14:26b, 1984 NIV)

Does this describe your (whoever reads this) church?

For me a Church has to preach Jesus. I mean He is the reason we go to Church right? The most important things the Church does is feed the flock and bring the lost to Christ. There is some other things that either I have missed seeing or that I have questions about.

Daniel 11:37 Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.

What does it mean "nor the desire of women?" Does it mean he is a homosexual? A misogynist? I have heard some say it could be a woman but the verse clearly says he. I guess I want to know what I need to be looking for. I don't know when the end times comes but I think it is always a good idea to keep an eye out.

Then I have always wondered about this verse. Isaiah 17:1. When does this happen? Is it before or after the end times start? For some crazy reason I have been thinking a lot about that verse. I am not saying any of this means anything because sometimes I get bible verses stuck in my head. The last time it was a psalm when I was in the hospital.

As for supernatural stuff, well since I am bipolar I think my testimony is pretty much shot. I do see a lot of crazy stuff when I am manic but I can't tell if its actually from God or its just my illness. I don't want to go around saying something is from God when it might not be.

Plus if God really had anything important to say I think He could do a lot better than a crazy woman to say it. Look at all the preachers who studied their whole lives and know this stuff like the back of their hands. I would think that God would pick them over someone like me.

Luke 17:2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.

I take that verse very seriously. The last thing I want to do is make anyone stumble. Also I am not really qualified to teach anyone anything. I am just trying to learn myself.

As for the music, I do like the music a lot. I like music that praises the Lord and is uplifting. I need to get some new music, I do like my music but its getting really old now. Maybe I can afford to pick up some CDs in the next month or two.

As for prayer, I don't know if I am doing right or not but I first repent because what if I sinned and don't know it (like have a sinful thought). I feel like I need to "clean" myself up before approaching the Lord. Then if I don't have anything pressing I just pray the Lords prayer. If I do have something to say I just talk to Him. I am not sure if that's the right way to do it or not, its just how I have been doing it.

 

[Hopes]

For me a Church has to preach Jesus. I mean He is the reason we go to Church right? The most important things the Church does is feed the flock and bring the lost to Christ. There is some other things that either I have missed seeing or that I have questions about.

Daniel 11:37 Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.

What does it mean "nor the desire of women?" Does it mean he is a homosexual? A misogynist? I have heard some say it could be a woman but the verse clearly says he. I guess I want to know what I need to be looking for. I don't know when the end times comes but I think it is always a good idea to keep an eye out.

Then I have always wondered about this verse. Isaiah 17:1. When does this happen? Is it before or after the end times start? For some crazy reason I have been thinking a lot about that verse. I am not saying any of this means anything because sometimes I get bible verses stuck in my head. The last time it was a psalm when I was in the hospital.

As for supernatural stuff, well since I am bipolar I think my testimony is pretty much shot. I do see a lot of crazy stuff when I am manic but I can't tell if its actually from God or its just my illness. I don't want to go around saying something is from God when it might not be.

Plus if God really had anything important to say I think He could do a lot better than a crazy woman to say it. Look at all the preachers who studied their whole lives and know this stuff like the back of their hands. I would think that God would pick them over someone like me.

Luke 17:2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.

I take that verse very seriously. The last thing I want to do is make anyone stumble. Also I am not really qualified to teach anyone anything. I am just trying to learn myself.

As for the music, I do like the music a lot. I like music that praises the Lord and is uplifting. I need to get some new music, I do like my music but its getting really old now. Maybe I can afford to pick up some CDs in the next month or two.

As for prayer, I don't know if I am doing right or not but I first repent because what if I sinned and don't know it (like have a sinful thought). I feel like I need to "clean" myself up before approaching the Lord. Then if I don't have anything pressing I just pray the Lords prayer. If I do have something to say I just talk to Him. I am not sure if that's the right way to do it or not, its just how I have been doing it.

Anyway thanks for talking to me but I am going to go now. Its just to hard for me to be here because I don't want to cause problems for anyone ever. I am always worried what if I say the wrong thing and somebody takes it the wrong way. I just don't think I am meant to socialize with other people. It's just too hard for me. It would be nice to have friends but I don't think that's possible for me. I am just too messed up in the head for that.

Plus I am worried that I am going manic again. I have been taking the PRN pills my Dr. gave me for two days now. I have been having trouble sleeping and my husband called my Dr. today. I hope I don't wind up in the hospital again but it's better than being crazy at home and upsetting my family.

Anyway I am going to go and try to get my head to calm down. I just wish so bad that God would just make me normal. Sometimes I feel like I can't do nothing right.

Anyway thanks again and goodbye

 

[sheamiao]

Spiritual gift can only be developed through practice, like bible Teaching, encouraging, prophecy ...but love triumph over all. I recommend you to go to a small group bible study and try to speak for others' benefit, God will reward you.

Love &grace

 

[Hopes]

Spiritual gift can only be developed through practice, like bible Teaching, encouraging, prophecy ...but love triumph over all. I recommend you to go to a small group bible study and try to speak for others' benefit, God will reward you.

Love &grace

Thanks, right now I am not up to speaking to others about my bipolar disorder or if I have any spiritual gifts or not. I am still fighting the delusions. The last few days I have had "people" talking in my head. Sometimes they talk to me, other times its like listening in on a phone conversation between two people and I am the topic of the conversation. I know crazy right?

I have been praying and praising the Lord almost non stop to settle my head and playing my Christian music because it settles me down. I am sleeping a little bit which is different than my other manic episodes (I usually don't sleep at all). Hopefully I just don't get any worse. I am handling it right now though.

 

[Greg J.]

You haven't discussed your past treatment, but based on what I'm reading, you should be pressing your psychiatrist for certain meds. There is at least one that is very effective against insomnia, and if you aren't getting enough sleep, your potential for getting better is being hindered. What you are describing is not spiritual oppression alone. It includes psychoses which there are also non-addictive meds for.

It sounds like you are keeping your problems too secret. My experience was that when the suffering got bad enough, I was forced to seek the help of others. God may let things get worse so you will start to rely more on other people, which is a first of many steps to coming to rely on God which sometimes he requires before healing you. Sometimes delaying this magnifies the time it will take for you to heal by years.

Best of luck working these things out.

 

[Hopes]

You haven't discussed your past treatment, but based on what I'm reading, you should be pressing your psychiatrist for certain meds. There is at least one that is very effective against insomnia, and if you aren't getting enough sleep, your potential for getting better is being hindered. What you are describing is not spiritual oppression alone. It includes psychoses which there are also non-addictive meds for.

It sounds like you are keeping your problems too secret. My experience was that when the suffering got bad enough, I was forced to seek the help of others. God may let things get worse so you will start to rely more on other people, which is a first of many steps to coming to rely on God which sometimes he requires before healing you. Sometimes delaying this magnifies the time it will take for you to heal by years.

Best of luck working these things out.

Yeah we are going to be calling my Dr. again today for sleeping meds. I have been avoiding taking them because I take so many meds already. Two are for the bipolar and the rest for physical ailments. Anyway I didn't want yet another pill I have to take.

My sleep has been messed up for so long that I can not remember the last time I got a solid 8 hours of sleep. Usually its a couple hours here and a couple hours there. One time I got 6 hours at once but that's rare.

As far as past treatments, well I have been on a lot of pills over the years, some of them I can't take no more because of the diabetes. Its too bad too because those are the ones that worked best for me. My Dr. just switched me to Geodon probably around six months ago. I also take tegretol too). Anyway It (the geodon) don't work as well as what I was on. I had to stop taking the old stuff because he was worried about extrapyramidal side effects since I was on it so long and it was a first gen AP.

I am a little worried about psychosis but so far I still know whats real and whats not. I know people are not really talking to me in my head and its just my brain malfunctioning. I already told my husband if I get to the point where I can't tell the difference to just take me to the hospital. He already knows where to take me and everything.

Looks like I got a lot to talk about at my next psych dr appointment. He might have to just switch my meds again.

 

[Greg J.]

My psychiatrist didn't want to give me yet another med for one of my symptoms because I was on "enough" already. I defaulted to his wisdom.

The anti-insomnia med that has worked for me for more than a decade is Trazodone. It has unpleasant side effects (as it seems everything does), but they are nothing compared with not being able to sleep. Without the med, I didn't get tired enough to fall asleep until I was exhausted (like 8 a.m. the next day), then I could get a restless two hours of sleep. I basically ended up being on the verge of a dream state all my waking hours. If I closed my eyes, I started dreaming. It was a nightmare.

It would be nice if rectifying this made your voices and such go away.

 

[Hopes]

My psychiatrist didn't want to give me yet another med for one of my symptoms because I was on "enough" already. I defaulted to his wisdom.

The anti-insomnia med that has worked for me for more than a decade is Trazodone. It has unpleasant side effects (as it seems everything does), but they are nothing compared with not being able to sleep. Without the med, I didn't get tired enough to fall asleep until I was exhausted (like 8 a.m. the next day), then I could get a restless two hours of sleep. I basically ended up being on the verge of a dream state all my waking hours. If I closed my eyes, I started dreaming. It was a nightmare.

It would be nice if rectifying this made your voices and such go away.

Mine didn't either so he wouldn't prescribe the sleeping pills. I had thought he would, but it might be because of the kidney thing I have going on. My GP says its hard to treat me for anything, its like a balancing act because of all the stuff that's wrong with me.

I think that's why she keeps referring me to different Drs. So far I am up to four Drs and one eye guy, who I dread seeing this year. I am afraid this is going to be the year for the cataract surgery.

I did a lot of praying last night that the delusions and people in my head would go away. It really did help me a lot. I am feeling much better today. I also did a lot of thinking about those Bible verses that I asked questions about. I don't know if I am right (I am no theologian at all) but I was wondering about this.

Daniel 11:37 Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.

Could it be because of this verse?

Genesis 3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

I know what they mean by her seed I think that is talking about Jesus but it does say "enmity between thee and the woman" first though. What do you think? Am I way off?

 

[Greg J.]

The Daniel verse is about someone evil who has rejected God and is against God. The Genesis verse has a lot of breadth and depth of meaning, so I'm not sure what to say—I do not understand what you are asking about.

 

[Hopes]

Oh Ok I guess I have a lot to learn then. I have just wondered what that verse was about.

 

[Greg J.]

The Daniel verse? A good start is just to start reading at v. 36 and compare the attributes of that person with Jesus as revealed in the New Testament.

It is always an excellent study for anyone/everyone to investigate why Jesus or the Father is referred to by various names. (He has a lot more attributes than are revealed by names given to him, though.) In the New Testament here is one web site's list. Here's a different list from the Old Testament.

 

[Hopes]

I am going to read it all again. See somebody (I don't remember which preacher) said the Daniel verse was referring to satan or the anti christ, so dummy me thought that's what it was about. I am still learning and this stuff especially prophecy stuff has me really confused. For example the whole book of revelation. I have listened to lots of preachers explain it and they all say something different, so I go away from it all more confused than ever.

I half way wonder if we can't understand that book till its happening or something. Anyway thanks I am going to read it and pray about it and hopefully I will get some real understanding about this stuff.