Is Spanking Teenagers for Discipline Appropriate?

[Blue Wren]

Spanking can be a sexual statement in the UK, however people in absence of dirty minds knows what spanking actually is.

I know what it is, yes. I had simply used, smacking, or beating, instead, as those are the words more often used, and someone, got upset. Spanking children, it's illegal entirely, in Sweden. We have still heard of it, of course. Normally, it has to do, with small children, perhaps age six, and under. It feels more strange, to talk about a father, spanking his grown daughter, as punishment.

 

[Blue Wren]

No. I was writing that about Jennae saying what ever she said (I did not go read the other posts) that has spread a bad reputation for her father.

But it is a general warning that what we say can spread like feathers on the wind. The internet makes that process almost instantaneous.

Thank-you, for explaining. I do not fault Jennae, for talking here, about her father. I do think, it would be better, to seek help, with such grave problems, in person, perhaps. On the internet, I think, it's more complicated, to help a person, in such a predicament.

 

[Jesus' Follower]

I know what it is, yes. I had simply used, smacking, or beating, instead, as those are the words more often used, and someone, got upset. Spanking children, it's illegal entirely, in Sweden. We have still heard of it, of course. Normally, it has to do, with small children, perhaps age six, and under. It feels more strange, to talk about a father, spanking his grown daughter, as punishment.

Agreed, well I never knew it was illegal in Sweden.
Thanks for that information.

 

[hedrick]

It feels more strange, to talk about a father, spanking his grown daughter, as punishment.

It is unusual. You're hearing stories here of things that have happened to people. That doesn't mean it's common. And some of the accounts you're seeing here would not actually be legal under today's standards.

 

[P. Gilles]

Sorry if I am not supposed to be posting in this forum, but I am interested in the opinions of those who parent teens.
Do you think that spanking teens is appropriate and effective?

No, I don't. The goal is to teach them responsibility and to love the Lord. We try to use natural consequences of their decisions, as well as rewarding them for certain things, etc.

For teenagers, you want to really build a great relationship with them.

 

[Blue Wren]

No, I don't. The goal is to teach them responsibility and to love the Lord. We try to use natural consequences of their decisions, as well as rewarding them for certain things, etc.

For teenagers, you want to really build a great relationship with them.

This makes far more sense, to me. Treating teens, like young children, I don't see how this is preparing them for adulthood.

 

[Blue Wren]

It is unusual. You're hearing stories here of things that have happened to people. That doesn't mean it's common. And some of the accounts you're seeing here would not actually be legal under today's standards.

Some of the posts, from grown women, about this punishment, given by their parents, they are recent. It's why, I was so shocked. The punishment, it is illegal, on that age. It's confusing, to me, why, a Christian parent, would deliberately break the law, while trying to teach their teen, to be obedient. In Europe, it's not been a common punishment, for many, many years. Teens in Europe, they rebel, act up, also. There are other ways, to correct this behaviour, that are legal.

 

[mommytobof3]

My daughter is 12 a tween or preteen. I do spank her if she's doing something that is very dangerous for her such as health in any aspect. Mentally, physically etc. Example: this is a hypothetical if I caught a boy in her room. Then yes a spanking

I use other forms of discipline as well grounding from tv, fun activities, going places. I only use spanking as a last resort. My children are to scared of me to draw back, I'm 6 ft 280. So yes I do spank but I don't think at 16 I would. Idk though. My kids don't have luxuries like other kids no cellphone, no personal computer. I teach my kids if you want something you work for it. Nothing in life is free.

 

[Butterfly99]

I don't even know what to make of this thread.

 

[Butterfly99]

Some of the posts, from grown women, about this punishment, given by their parents, they are recent. It's why, I was so shocked. The punishment, it is illegal, on that age. It's confusing, to me, why, a Christian parent, would deliberately break the law, while trying to teach their teen, to be obedient. In Europe, it's not been a common punishment, for many, many years. Teens in Europe, they rebel, act up, also. There are other ways, to correct this behaviour, that are legal.

Grown women have talked about being spanked here???!!!!!! This makes me real uncertain about this forum cause that's too cuckoo for cocoa pops for me.

 

[hedrick]

No, the people here are generally pretty moderate, even if they accept spanking as a tool to be used rarely. The references have more been to the experience of participants when they were growing up.

 

[Butterfly99]

She made it sound like a lady was talking about being spanked in the present. I'm confused. Creeped out & confused. I don't see that big of a difference between spanking a teen & spanking an adult tbh cause I know of a lotta teens who are bigger than adults already. There are a lotta kids at my school, girls too & not just boys, who are heavier and taller than teachers. Yeah it is different punishing teens than adults but still spanking a teen is about as creepy as putting them in a diaper or bathing them or something. Just totally not appropriate. I'm just real surprised this is on a Christian forum.

 

[keith99]

She made it sound like a lady was talking about being spanked in the present. I'm confused. Creeped out & confused. I don't see that big of a difference between spanking a teen & spanking an adult tbh cause I know of a lotta teens who are bigger than adults already. There are a lotta kids at my school, girls too & not just boys, who are heavier and taller than teachers. Yeah it is different punishing teens than adults but still spanking a teen is about as creepy as putting them in a diaper or bathing them or something. Just totally not appropriate. I'm just real surprised this is on a Christian forum.

The reason it is on a Christian forum is there are some sects of Christianity that do not just encourage it they actually consider not doing it sinful.

You are spot on about teens being bigger than their parents. At 16 I was as tall as my father and probably a little heavier. But when it came to strength it was no contest, dad would lose. But dad had almost never depended on strength and little on position by the time I was 12 to lead. So instead of a potential problem as I became big and strong dad got his just reward, an ally if needed.

 

[Butterfly99]

I've heard of spare the rod spoil the child. I didn't think folks still took that literally. I don't think of teens as being children. Idk. Cause Mary was prolly younger than me or my age when she had Jesus. Sorry if I stepped on toes with what I said b4, I'm just really confused & surprised. Cause to me spanking teens is pretty much like spanking adults & spanking adults well that's a ahem adult thing. Like that episode of Big Bang Theory where she's all excited about it. I just didn't expect something like that on here tbh.

 

[Teegan]

I was kinda surprised too when I first read this thread.
It feels wrong to me, but it's not the teens fault if their parent chooses that punishment.
I'm 16 and I couldn't imagine. However, I do know a teen who has been in that situation. It's terrible for her, but she is has so much grace for her parents. She honours them and loves them. I know her parents aren't creeps either but amazing people.

 

[Butterfly99]

I was kinda surprised too when I first read this thread.
It feels wrong to me, but it's not the teens fault if their parent chooses that punishment.
I'm 16 and I couldn't imagine. However, I do know a teen who has been in that situation. It's terrible for her, but she is has so much grace for her parents. She honours them and loves them. I know her parents aren't creeps either but amazing people.

Oh I know it's not the teens fault. God bless their hearts. I wasn't putting blame on any teens having to deal with that at all. No way. Can your friend talk to a trusted adult? If she's a Christian she could try talking to her minister about it. My mom's a minister. She would help a teen out for sure. Cause that's not right at all. I'm 16 too. That would feel like such a violation. I've never been spanked in my life. It's good she's got grace for them but it sure doesn't sound like they've got any grace for her. Idk how you can be an amazing parent and do that to your teen, in today's time. Now years ago when things were way different maybe OK. Tbh I haven't read this whole thread. I just saw it and it freaked me out so I reacted. I'm not trying to step on anybody's toes. Definitely not saying that any teen is at fault.

 

[Saricharity]

The most disturbing part of this thread is that there has been over 33,000 views.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

Several months ago I asked a moderator to please consider closing this thread, but never received a response. I know moderators generously give their time here and stay busy, so I'm not complaining. I do still wish this would be permanently closed, though, and will make the request again because I think it's a reasonable one. The OP was written nearly a decade ago, so the teen in question would be well into adulthood by now. The original poster hasn't logged onto Christian Forums since 2009. This thread is only ten pages long and yet it has amassed an extraordinary number of views that far exceeds what it typical of one this size. I think it's natural for newcomers to be alarmed when they stumble upon this thread for various reasons, from the modern fetish connotations with spanking that the bestselling book series and movie 50 Shades of Grey brought into mainstream pop culture knowledge, to the illegality of it in many countries users here are from, to it simply being a punishment most would view as wholly inappropriate for teens.

I do believe that the majority of people who have participated in this thread are genuine, but there's reason to be leery about the motives of some. I suspect a sizable percentage of the view counts is due to people having found this thread through internet searches for this topic, and that not everyone's interest in it has been wholesome and related exclusively to Christian parenting. Skimming through it you can see that the thread has grown dormant for long stretches of time over the years to then be reactivated by a new user who seemingly takes no interest in other topics on the forum. This might be innocent but it feels a bit odd.

If this thread does remain open I highly recommend that people, and especially teens, use caution in communicating privately about the subject matter with anyone who isn't already an established regular. By that I mean someone who has written numerous posts in a diversity of threads all over the board rather than on this isolated topic.

 

[Tallguy88]

ADMIN HAT ON

Thread closed because this thread is almost 10 years old, and some of the posts are quite questionable.