Spanking my twin 7 year olds

[Katherine C]

I guess this is not the place to ask this, after doing a bit of research this forum seems pretty anti-spanking.

I'll ask on a different forum, thanks for your time!

 

[JAM2b]

I'm opposite from you. I'm a single mom who used to be a spanker, but quit years ago. I won't get into why because I don't believe a debate is what you are after. But, as a mom who used to spank I will address your questions.

I would never, ever spank on a bare bottom. It is degrading, and can later be seen as a sexual invasion as they grow older and become more sexual.

I have used a wooden spoon in the past, but if I were to still spank, then I would not use anything at all. The risk of bruising, welts and broken skin is too much for me to want to consider it now.

I would not put a standard length or time on spanking a child with the exception of putting a limit regardless of perceived effect. I don't think I ever struck them more than 3 times in a single spanking. If three isn't enough, then spanking isn't very likely to be effective. The more strikes you give, the more likely damage will be done. If they were to become in distress because real damage is being done, then you might not notice that because you are focused on meeting your pre-set goal.

If you leave bruises, you've spanked too hard. If there are welts, you've spanked too hard. If skin is broken you've spanked too hard. If your child legitimately can't sit, you've spanked too hard. Unfortunately, this is something you can't know until after you have done it.

 

[JAM2b]

Finally, how do I bring up that they're getting their first spanking? They both don't know what a spanking is, so how should I tell them?

Quite frankly this is concerning. This could turn out to be emotionally traumatic and confusing for them. Pro-spanking or not, this should give any parent reason to question the decision you have made.

I have absolutely no idea how you would navigate this without freaking them out.

 

[Katherine C]

Quite frankly this is concerning. This could turn out to be emotionally traumatic and confusing for them. Pro-spanking or not, this should give any parent reason to question the decision you have made.

I have absolutely no idea how you would navigate this without freaking them out.

Someone else suggested sitting them down, and telling them the changes in discipline at our house. I'm not sure how this would freak them out. Did I word the question wrong?

 

[Katherine C]

I'm opposite from you. I'm a single mom who used to be a spanker, but quit years ago. I won't get into why because I don't believe a debate is what you are after. But, as a mom who used to spank I will address your questions.

I would never, ever spank on a bare bottom. It is degrading, and can later be seen as a sexual invasion as they grow older and become more sexual.

I have used a wooden spoon in the past, but if I were to still spank, then I would not use anything at all. The risk of bruising, welts and broken skin is too much for me to want to consider it now.

I would not put a standard length or time on spanking a child with the exception of putting a limit regardless of perceived effect. I don't think I ever struck them more than 3 times in a single spanking. If three isn't enough, then spanking isn't very likely to be effective. The more strikes you give, the more likely damage will be done. If they were to become in distress because real damage is being done, then you might not notice that because you are focused on meeting your pre-set goal.

If you leave bruises, you've spanked too hard. If there are whelps, you've spanked too hard. If skin is broken you've spanked too hard. If your child legitimately can't sit, you've spanked too hard. Unfortunately, this is something you can't know until after you have done it.

I wouldn't spank in any position that is embarrassing or degrading. When I did in the past, usually they were just standing with their back facing me, or turned sideways facing the wall beside me. They do need to be able to remain stable so that they don't loose their balance and fall. If they are flinching or lunging forward, then you probably should have them bend over something or put their hands against something to brace themselves.

I am not planning on spanking so hard that I've broken the skin, or leave bruises. In this, we seem to agree. That is child abuse. About whelps, I'm not sure what you mean. Obviously she will be crying, not sure what you mean by whelps.
Also, about hitting more than 3 times, it depends on how hard you spank. Some of my friends spank their kids for a while, but they spank softly. Others spank harder so the spanking is done in a minute or 2.

About spanking bare bottom, I get what you're saying if I was talking about teenagers, maybe 14 or 15, but I'm talking about 7 year olds.

Anyway, the great thing about forums is we can express our opinions, but respectfully move on. You are right, I am not after a debate.
Thanks for your opinion.

 

[JAM2b]

I guess this is not the place to ask this, after doing a bit of research this forum seems pretty anti-spanking.

I'm not sure why you are even asking these questions on any forum at all because you seem to already be well informed about spanking and have friends who spank you can ask questions to. As you said in your first post before you edited, you already know what you want to do. I think the honest thing would be for you to just say what you want to do and ask people for approval. That's all you're really after.

I'm not sure if responding to your question about freaking them out is something I should do if you are going to do it anyway, and you seem oblivious to the emotional and psychological impact that such a sudden and drastic change would make for a child who has gone through a fairly recent family break up. You are closed to any constructive opinions.

Good luck.

 

[JAM2b]

Whelp was a typo. I meant welt. It is red, swollen skin from being hit.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I guess this is not the place to ask this, after doing a bit of research this forum seems pretty anti-spanking.

I'll ask on a different forum, thanks for your time!

You should have left your post. You could have got better results. As far as I know. Spanking is considered a physical assault. So that's a tough one. Most people I know spank their kids. Kids are not perfect, they still act up. Some don't. Have you tried no TV, toys or anything, until home work is done. I have issues with one kids. His mom has spanked him in the past, but it's very light. It didn't work. But she's not consistent. Most of the time she talks, complains or nothing.

 

[JAM2b]

Crazy-Cat-woman,

She didn't want results. She only wanted confirmation. Her original post was a numbered list of very detailed questions about spanking techniques. She specified that she only wanted responses from pro-spankers. However, it had been two days and no one had responded, so I did. She didn't get the affirmation that she wanted, so she is moving on.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Crazy-Cat-woman,

She didn't want results. She only wanted confirmation. Her original post was a numbered list of very detailed questions about spanking techniques. She specified that she only wanted responses from pro-spankers. However, it had been two days and no one had responded, so I did. She didn't get the affirmation that she wanted, so she is moving on.

I didn't remember reading,that she only wanted info from pro-spankers. I just went back to read her post again and it was gone. I'm sure there are spankers on this forum.