Soul Ties?

Mudinyeri

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Spinning off from another thread and from exposure to the phrase "soul tie" at a men's group that I recently visited ....

What, exactly, is a "soul tie"? Where did the term originate? (I've found it mentioned in several 'Christian' marriage ministries.) Where is the Biblical foundation for the term?

Based on my exposure to the term at the men's group that I visited, it seems to be a man-made term created to exacerbate any pre-existing, continued guilt over sexual or romantic relationships prior to one's marriage. Is that pretty close?
 

mkgal1

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it seems to be a man-made term created to exacerbate any pre-existing, continued guilt over sexual or romantic relationships prior to one's marriage. Is that pretty close?

I need to look into it more, but the first time I'd heard it...it was in reference to my daughter and the younger sister of my daughter's boyfriend [at that time]. The details are a bit hazy now as it's been a long time, but our daughter had slept over at the parent's home due to a late night all out together at some church conference (sleeping in a bunk bed in the younger sister's room). The next morning, our daughter shared a dream she'd had the previous night with the younger sister in it. It was a completely innocuous dream (that's all I recall---just that it was your typical innocent dream) but the mother responded that it was due to the two of them having a "soul tie" that needs to be broken? The relationship soon fell apart and there was never a need for us to even figure out what that even meant....but I doubt (and hope) she wasn't inferring anything sexual about the girls.

In my perception....we all have a certain "soul tie" as humanity and creation....but "soul ties" needing to be broken? I don't understand that...at all.
 
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mkgal1

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Something I just found:

Article said:
Demonic spirits can also take advantage of ungodly soul ties, and use them to transfer spirits between one person to another. I remember one young man I led through a deliverance; he was facing severe demonic visitations and torment all thanks to an ungodly soul tie. I led him to broke the soul tie, and the attacks stopped completely!~http://www.ministeringdeliverance.com/soul_ties.php

Personally, I don't believe that's how the spiritual realm "works".
 
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Mudinyeri

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Was that a Pentecostal group that brought up the term? That's the only denomination that I've heard use the term.

It was a non-denominational men's group. The leader had a PowerPoint presentation that was obviously based on "professional" materials but I didn't catch the name of the individual or group that produced the materials.

The upshot of the presentation was along these lines (which would have offended me if I was easily offended):
1. All men are sex-crazed pigs
2. Looking at women is nothing more than lust, lust is evil, men are evil (See #1)
3. Having pre-marital sex or a deep relationship with a woman other than your wife creates a soul tie
4. Soul ties need to be broken or your marriage is doomed
5. Go find or name the individuals with whom you have soul ties and call upon the name of Jesus to break these ties
 
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mkgal1

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Huh....funny I never explored this further. From reading this, it looks as if what was being inferred was that our daughter was an "ungodly" influence on that younger sister: http://www.lifecoach321.com/daves-pages/soul-ties

Soul Ties Formed in an Ungodly Friendship, Relationship or Affiliation:“Do not be deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations_ corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character” 1 Cor. 15:33. God is aware we as people are influenced by our friends and associations. The fruit of soul ties that develop with sinful or evil companions, co-workers and organizations (even ministries!) produce behavior which is contrary to the Spirit of God. Ungodly soul ties created through close friendships with unbelievers are Satan’s counterfeit and are intended to bring curses and destruction.

....
that's ironic because their family pastor had scared/pressured our daughter early on by saying God told him she was the gal this guy was going to marry (he was wrong about that).
 
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mkgal1

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It was a non-denominational men's group. The leader had a PowerPoint presentation that was obviously based on "professional" materials but I didn't catch the name of the individual or group that produced the materials.

The upshot of the presentation was along these lines (which would have offended me if I was easily offended):
1. All men are sex-crazed pigs
2. Looking at women is nothing more than lust, lust is evil, men are evil (See #1)
3. Having pre-marital sex or a deep relationship with a woman other than your wife creates a soul tie
4. Soul ties need to be broken or your marriage is doomed
5. Go find or name the individuals with whom you have soul ties and call upon the name of Jesus to break these ties

That all sounds to be in line with the Pentecostal group this family was involved in---very much focused on the negative spirits and holds over people.

I'm not a fan (to put mildly) of the "all men are sex-crazed pigs" teaching.
 
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mkgal1

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One of my all time favorite blogs:

http://micahjmurray.com/sex-robot/

Micah J Murray said:
They say that men give love to get sex, and women give sex to get love.

If this is true, then marriage is nothing but a market exchange where we trade emotion for flesh in a desperate attempt to satisfy our own cravings. If this is true, I am simply a customer settling a invoice with flowers and kisses, a partner is just a deluxe call girl with a long-term contract, and love is a filthy currency.

But rather than rejecting the sex/love economy, Christian relationship advice just operates within it. Apparently talking about the profound differences between men and women is a good way to sell books and fill up marriage conferences. Women are painted as mysterious creatures that must be decrypted before they can be understood, and then the secret to understanding your spouse is promised between the covers of whatever book is popular this year. And it’s all fun and games until you’re a confused newlywed trying to figure out all the secrets to loving your wife with fear of failure hanging low and heavy above your head.
 
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Sabertooth

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Based on my exposure to the term at the men's group that I visited, it seems to be a man-made term created to exacerbate any pre-existing, continued guilt over sexual or romantic relationships prior to one's marriage. Is that pretty close?
If you are set on debunking the concept of soul-ties, I can't help you, but there are plenty of resources in that corner.

If you want to know about it in the context that it's used in, PM me, but you must be willing to suspend disbelief for anything I say to be worthwhile.
 
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ValleyGal

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Freedom Session talks about ungodly soul ties, and I have always felt uncomfortable with that one session. Although the author of the program makes it make sense, I am not totally convinced that sexual activity always results in demonic stuff to be broken and cast out. I believe that sex outside of marriage is the result of our own hormones and inability to say "no" prior to marriage, and that it is something which requires repentance and the "changing of our mind" to align our own will with God's. I do not believe that sex creates a bond that joins the souls of two people together forever. In fact, even for married couples, I do not believe sex creates a bond that is forever that divorce cannot break.

I think we give the demons too much credit for some things.
 
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mkgal1

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I do not believe that sex creates a bond that joins the souls of two people together forever. In fact, even for married couples, I do not believe sex creates a bond that is forever that divorce cannot break.

I think we give the demons too much credit for some things.
Totally agree. Look at threads around here (for just ONE place to look) and you'll see that married couples still struggle with forming "emotional ties" and maintaining a connection with one another. Since that's so.....it makes sense to me that any eternal bond isn't formed just by the physical act.

I don't see sex--in itself--as a "tie"....but rather, when done out of genuine love, to be an expression of that love. Otherwise (if there's no genuine love)....it's merely a physical act that's more "in the moment" and "for the moment". IOW....our "heart" and "soul" has to be engaged in order for there to be a tie. But.....genuine love is eternal....right?

**I apologize if that comes off as disrespectful to those that believe in soul ties.
 
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Dave-W

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I did some research on the term back in the day (1980s) and decided it was somewhat of a misnomer.

There certainly is an on-going non-physical linkage between 2 people who have sex (physical linkage). Paul warns us of this:

1 Corinthians 6:16 Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.”

Clearly thru scripture the husband and wife "oneness" continues on beyond just the physical act of sex, here Paul said the same thing happens with the most non-commital sex there is: prostitution. We of Trinitarian belief understand that there is one God but there are Father Son and Spirit. We often look at man made in that image as Body Soul and Spirit. But just as OT Judaism did not see God divided that way, they also did not see man divided that way either. "Body" or "soul" often indicated the WHOLE PERSON.

That being so, then the physical coupling in sex produces an ongoing linkage in both the spirit and soul realms. (not JUST the soul)

Beyond the statements of "one flesh" that can be understood to include both soul and spirit, the bible has little else to say on this subject.

But when you look at the prohibitions against non marital sex from the perspective of this ongoing linkage, it makes sense. God wants us to have linkage; but only according to how He designed us. We were not meant to have that kind of links to people we are not married to, or with people of the same gender or with animals. (or in the case of the guys who visited Lot - with angels)

IOW, it may not be the sex per se, but the linkage that results from that sex that is the real problem.
 
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Dave-W

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I have a couple of examples of that marital oneness in an on-going sense:

My father in law worked the line as a welder at GM back in the 1950s. During a couple of their pregnancies, HE got the morning sickness, not my MIL. He had to call home and tell her to eat some crackers or something so he could get back to work.

My older half-sister went thru a very hurtful breakup with her husband in the 1980s. He was a college prof. She said he left for work fine one day and came back that evening a totally different person. He started bedding high school and college girls and she could feel in her own body EVERY TIME he was having sex with someone else. It freaked her out.

I really have no scientific reason those things happen, or why we do not see it happen more often.
 
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ValleyGal

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Dave, while that can happen with some people, it does not happen with everyone who has sex. Additionally, that kind of connection can happen even with those who do not have sex. Examples - I had a very strong connection with my first husband like you mentioned with your FIL and with your half-sister. But I also had that kind of connection with a boyfriend (he died from brain cancer), as well as a pastor and his wife from years ago - and I never had sex with any of them. So I am still not convinced that sex creates ungodly soul ties.
 
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DZoolander

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The there's the other end of the spectrum. I've had people that I had sex with years back that I have zero connection to/zero interest in. I look back at the memory with all the nostalgia/feeling of how I look back at going to a 7/11 at some time or other. It's simply an event that occurred.
 
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Mudinyeri

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If you are set on debunking the concept of soul-ties, I can't help you, but there are plenty of resources in that corner.

If you want to know about it in the context that it's used in, PM me, but you must be willing to suspend disbelief for anything I say to be worthwhile.

I'm not "set on debunking" the concept of soul ties, but I must admit ... so far, it seems like bunk.

Nevertheless, I can suspend disbelief. I see no reason not to discuss it publicly, however.
 
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Mudinyeri

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The there's the other end of the spectrum. I've had people that I had sex with years back that I have zero connection to/zero interest in. I look back at the memory with all the nostalgia/feeling of how I look back at going to a 7/11 at some time or other. It's simply an event that occurred.

^This

Given the difficulty of maintaining a "soul tie" to one's spouse over the course of years, I find it extremely difficult to believe that I still have a soul tie to a woman I haven't even spoken to in 30 years.

In the men's group that I visited, it was all about guilt. Guess what. I asked forgiveness and repented. I no longer have guilt. I'll thank you not to manufacture any for me.
 
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