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Should Christians masturbate?

Discussion in 'Courting Couples' started by Ruby Beads, Jul 29, 2010.

  1. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

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    To me the issue isn't diminishing desires. God created us with those desires at puberty.
    In my mind if the desires go away they my not be back when one gets married. I've read of this happening and the new wife wasn't happening.

    I do believe its true use it or loss it. I for one wouldn't want to loss it.

    dayhiker
     
  2. Created2Write

    Created2Write His Pink Princess

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    I masturbate. My desire for my husband has NOT diminished in any way. My husband masturbated when we were dating. HIS desires didn't diminish or go away. If a person masturbates multiple times every day for a year, then yeah, they might loose feeling in their sexual organs, and orgasming may be difficult. But if it's done in moderation, like once or twice a week at most, it won't harm your desires or ability to orgasm.
     
  3. Windmill

    Windmill Legend Supporter

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    I think that it is extremely telling that individuals, especially males, become physically uncomfortable and experience physical pain when they don't.
     
  4. twins15

    twins15 Newbie

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    That is just simply not true.
     
  5. Windmill

    Windmill Legend Supporter

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    Oh but it is.

    There are always exceptions/minorities, but in general, this is the norm.

    Guys who don't masturbate get wet dreams. This is a result of vasocongrestion. It is caused by your sperm essentially building up inside of you and not being able to escape. So the body forces it to with wet dreams, if its not released manually. This is why people that don't masturbate tend to have more wet dreams.

    So if you don't masturbate, your body will do the job for you.
     
  6. The Nihilist

    The Nihilist Contributor

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    I think the rule is that you can masturbate as much as you want if you don't think about anything gay. Don't quote me on that.
     
  7. Created2Write

    Created2Write His Pink Princess

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    Windmill-

    My husband didn't ever ejaculate through any source of stimulation, wet dream or otherwise, until he was eighteen. In fact, he has never experienced a wet dream of any kind, and it isn't that his sperm takes a long time to build up. Some men don't experience wet dreams, and even if they did, it doesn't make masturbation wrong. Is it entirely necessary? Not in ever scenario. Some men want their first ejaculation to be with their wife on their wedding night, and I say props to them. But that's not the case with everyone.

    Masturbation can quench the need to orgasm in both men and women. I have had the equivalent to a wet dream before, and it did NOT help my desire to orgasm. In fact, it made it worse. And, as it was in the middle of the night and my husband was asleep, I used masturbation as a way to stifle that need for the moment. It helped. My husband is very similar. Sometimes he needs a release, and so he masturbates.

    Masturbation becomes an issue when lustful thoughts(if married, lustful thoughts including anyone other than ones spouse) enter the mind. If married, it becomes an issue when it takes the place of a spouse. But masturbation, in and of itself, is not wrong, and can be exceedingly helpful to a lot of people.

    Just because a man's body CAN take care of itself(not every man's body does), doesn't mean he's wrong for doing the job himself. As long as his intentions and thoughts are clean, there is nothing wrong with it.
     
  8. Windmill

    Windmill Legend Supporter

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    ^_^

    I know! Some guys don't. But this is the norm. I'm not saying everyone has to masturbate... ^_^ absolutely not. Heck I am the last person to ever say that people have to. But it causes many guys physical discomfort if they don't. This is why the vast majority of guys do. In academic surveys, the number of males not masturbating is ridiculously low, like 1-5%.

    I'm not saying anyone has to do everything, or all guys experience wet dreams... ^_^ :p I honestly don't care.

    But the fact is, going without ejaculation hurts many many guys. And I think its kinda cruel to deny them that. :p some, though less girls, have a similar thing.
     
  9. Greenling

    Greenling Member

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  10. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

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    lol .. what a funny thought. I sure hope noone believes that. But some times it seems people will beleive the strangest things!
     
  11. Created2Write

    Created2Write His Pink Princess

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    I am curious as to what the opening poster thinks, and if she and her boyfriend have resolved the masturbation issue.
     
  12. contango

    contango ...and you shall live...

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    I think the reason you get so many differing viewpoints is that the Bible doesn't explicitly say "thou shalt not rub thy bits".

    As far as I can tell the mere act of rubbing the appropriate areas to get the desired response isn't in and of itself sinful. The problem is what goes along with the rubbing. I'd find it very hard to believe that any man could get excited if he were masturbating while thinking of his day at work, or the shopping list, or the fact that the car needs an oil change. Chances are he's going to be thinking of some form of sexual situation, watching or thinking about porn or similar. In doing so he's almost certainly crossing the line into lust which we know is a sin.

    So if your boyfriend can truly masturbate without lusting then perhaps he's not sinning, but I'd be surprised if he can achieve that.
     
  13. Created2Write

    Created2Write His Pink Princess

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    *sigh* You are not her boyfriend. Unless you are, you can't say whether or not he could achieve that. GOD is the only one who knows a persons heart, and their abilities. Some people, men and women, COULDN'T masturbate without lusting, so they shouldn't do it. Some people CAN masturbate without lusting. And, even if a person DID lust while masturbating, masturbation wouldn't be the sin, the LUST would be.

    And, for the record, it is ENTIRELY possible to masturbate without lusting. I have done it. So has my husband.(Before we ever dated.) It was difficult for him, but the ability to ejaculate/orgasm is not contingent upon whether or not a guy is lusting. It IS possible to masturbate without sinning, ever. Granted, it's probably more difficult, but it is possible. An erection is possible without lusting. An ejaculation/orgasm is possible without lusting. Masturbation is possible without lusting.
     
  14. ponderingnwandering

    ponderingnwandering Newbie

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    My two cents.

    Why bother?

    To me it seems like a slippery slope. You might be able to masturbate one night and not think of someone, but the next you may find yourself thinking about you met that day or saw in a lingerie ad. Now you're very well teetering on an addiction if you continue to pursue the mentality of "okay to masturbate if i don't think of anyone, just don't do it again." It just seems like a natural lead up to lusting as its getting your sexual gears going. Masturbation is very hard to stop once you do it; it is, however, fully possible to stop masturbating if you withhold from it for a while. You gain more self control abstaining from it than giving in to prevent you from lusting, imo.

    Kind of reminds me how in India, parents will masturbate their children to put them to sleep. There is no sexual connotation in the parents masturbating their children(up until the age of 6), they aren't doing it to molest them, its simply to put them to sleep. Is this wrong? I would argue no, actually. Is it nasty? Imo, heck yes its nasty, but i don't consider it a sin if done to lull the kid to sleep.

    I will end with this

    "No longer spend the rest of your natural life living by your human appetite and desires, but live for what God wills." 1 Peter 4:12

    If you can honor God by not lusting after another person and masturbating by not thinking of anyone (save for your spouse if you're married), go for it. If you are not honoring God, don't do it.

    Personally, I'd be lying to myself if i said i could masturbate without lusting.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2010
  15. contango

    contango ...and you shall live...

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    ... which is why I said "I'd be surprised if he can..."

    I'm not her boyfriend but as a man who knows lots of other men one recurring theme is that we do struggle with this sort of thing.

    I already said that in theory it's possible to masturbate without lust, and also said it's difficult for a man to do it (that's from my own experience and that of many other men I know) but not impossible.


    I honestly have to wonder whether you actually read my post before writing this.
     
  16. Windmill

    Windmill Legend Supporter

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    This is an awkward thread! :p ;) but I think a good one, its important to hit these issues head-on.
     
  17. ponderingnwandering

    ponderingnwandering Newbie

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    To prove my point further, let me offer an example.

    Let's say I was confronting you(to whom this may concern) about masturbating over this person you find attractive. I tell you, "Don't think of anyone when you masturbate tonight. Just try to keep your mind focused on something else, and don't think of anyone."

    What's the first thing you'll do when you start to masturbate? Probably try to fight not thinking about someone while you do it.

    I think, in theory, yes its possible to masturbate without lusting. But you also have to take into consideration the human factor. Your boyfriend is human.

    I'm just saying you might not want him to get addicted to masturbating prior to marriage as if he slips up and thinks of someone, its going to be that much more hard for him not to think of that girl or any other attractive girl while he masturbates the next time. It can become an addiction so easily, I'm just saying its better to steer clear of that road altogether until the two of you are married(assuming you will be married.)
     
  18. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

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    Where does the Bible say thinking of someone while masturbating is a sin?

    If your just going to quote Mat.5:28 you need to explain it as while the word looking is there I don't see that as the main point. The context is adultery and looking isn't adultery or even thinking about adultery.
     
  19. ponderingnwandering

    ponderingnwandering Newbie

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    It point blank says that whoever looks at another woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.....how do you interpret that?
     
  20. The Nihilist

    The Nihilist Contributor

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    Hyperbole.
    Otherwise, it makes adultery no worse than checking someone out.