Should a virgin marry a non virgin?

[Miles]

Purity is a lifestyle. "Virgin" is a label. Purity means that you are saving yourself for your future spouse. Virgin just means that you have never had sex before. There is a difference. You can have sex, repent, be forgiven, and then live a sexually pure lifestyle from then on. Like Jesus said, "go and sin no more." It's unfortunate that some people would still rather divide potential mates into the categories of "virgin" and "nonvirgin" rather than "pure" and "unpure".

While don't particularly like the word 'pure' used to describe anyone (we're all sinners), I do hear where you're coming from.

Unfortunately, despite many genuine people (such as yourself), there are some who claim to be 'pure', and yet even their present actions don't live up to their words on the subject. It can be hard to spot the fakers. It follows that there are others who would still prefer to keep their dating within the 'virgin' sub-cagetory of 'pure', or at least look for that initially. Often those people fit into the same category themselves (no double-standards). One might argue that it would be good for some of them to leave this comfort zone, but there's still nothing inherently wrong with letting them continue on their merry way, as what they're looking for isn't sinful in and of itself.

 

[rhinoman22]

I would appreciate some who posted in this thread to read and contribute here:
Ethics & Morality - What is defined as sexual sin?

I would post the link, but I don't have high enough posts yet

 

[Stravinsk]

Blind post: These virgin/sex threads sure get alot of attention/responces, lol.

Edit: Ah, I see a necromancer has been at work...and here I thought 7 pages of responces had materialised in a mere 12 hours...

 

[MacFall]

 

[Blank123]

oh good. another thread resurrected from the abyss.

 

[DCN2]

At least they use the search option.

 

[Annie Mouse]

I think it's a personal choice.

From a biblical perspective, if you have sex with someone, you become one flesh with that person. That is serious, not something to treat casually. Saying, "oh, it's not a big deal" is inappropriate, I think.
Also, they say true love waits. I think there is something to it. If someone is not willing to save him or herself for a spouse, that does actually make a statement. Maybe that person didn't value virginity or his/her future spouse enough to stay away from premarital intercourse.

However, people do make mistakes, and God forgives.

So it's up to you. You can pray for guidance.

 

[Enxu]

I'm no where near that point, but I only date for possible marriage hookups. I'm a virgin and the person I'm considering dating isn't. She has been a Christian all her life she had a really bad year and had sex with a couple guys. She's changed now and has the Jesus action all over the place. I am very condident she is true and is back on track with Jesus. I think that God put her in my life for a purpose, I just don't know what that purpose is. She really can help and has helped me with my walk with God.

Anyways, should I just date someone who isn't a virgin. Or should I hold out to find someone that is? Is it really all that important? I know it is for me. If someone as horny as me has held out all this time, I really expect to marry a chick that has also kept pure. It seems impossible to find a chick that hasn't had sex before. Should I compromise this marry a virgin thing?

Oh yeah. This is not the same girl I posted about earlier. What do you guys think? Any help would be sweet. Thanks.

Personally if I were you, I wouldn't. Many people innocently think that as long as two people love each other and are committed to God, non-virginity shouldn't be an issue. Pure naivete in my opinion.

In the very first book of Genesis, God clearly showed the importance and sanctity of physical unity between a man and a woman. It signified a spiritual bond and is a symbolism of the relationship God has with His church. When this is wrongly used for pleasure or other reasons other than a proper union in a marriage, bad consequences follow: sexual diseases, emotional baggage, guilt etc. This often carries over to the next relationship and becomes a source of problem for future lovers. Such problems are not easily resolved and some are simply irreversible (such as contracting HIV).

You need to know therefore what you want and look for in a long term relationship. Weigh the costs and benefits of accepting a non-virgin and see whether there is potential for a better future despite what was done in the past. If you are confident that it is God's will, then by all means go ahead. If not, I would suggest you pray about it.

 

[MehGuy]

Wow, I was only 14 years old when this thread was made.

My, my, how time goes by fast..

 

[Saleena]

This thread is like a billion years old and has had several necros. Well done gaiz

 

[bluegreysky]

I WISH someone would love me THAT much.

 

[lozcin]

.

 

[dogs4thewin]

I'm no where near that point, but I only date for possible marriage hookups. I'm a virgin and the person I'm considering dating isn't. She has been a Christian all her life she had a really bad year and had sex with a couple guys. She's changed now and has the Jesus action all over the place. I am very condident she is true and is back on track with Jesus. I think that God put her in my life for a purpose, I just don't know what that purpose is. She really can help and has helped me with my walk with God.

Anyways, should I just date someone who isn't a virgin. Or should I hold out to find someone that is? Is it really all that important? I know it is for me. If someone as horny as me has held out all this time, I really expect to marry a chick that has also kept pure. It seems impossible to find a chick that hasn't had sex before. Should I compromise this marry a virgin thing?

Oh yeah. This is not the same girl I posted about earlier. What do you guys think? Any help would be sweet. Thanks.

I say no problem because one people make mistakes and two what about like stepparents my aunt was in that position. She was too old to safely have children had never been married her now husband had a child from an earlier marriage and G (my aunt) turned out to probably be a better mom than her real mom. I think she (her real mom) liked the idea of a child but was not ready when she came, so Uncle T (her father) raised S himself for about eight years NOT easy when you work at a blue-collar hourly job.

 

[lozcin]

I WISH someone would love me THAT much.

I'm sure there are plenty of virgins on this site that would love you and treat you right. The question is, how picky are you?

 

[hawkeyelovejs]

I think it can be dangerous to "label" our wants/needs from a partner. In this situation, the girl acknowledges she had a bad year, made some mistakes and has corrected herself. Why hold her past against her?

I understand the importance of abstinence until marriage, and I must admit this is a sensitive issue for me as I threw away my virginity during a "bad year" and made my own sexual mistakes that have since been corrected. One of my biggest fears is being rejected by someone I love for my past when I already regret those choices every single day.

There are always things on our lists that are deal breakers and only we can decide what those are, but just remember that unlike Burger King, you can't always have it "your way" with God. It's His plan, His timing. Don't cling so tight to the list of wants that you miss a need God is trying to fulfill. Pray about the person, not the thing.

Best of luck.

I'm no where near that point, but I only date for possible marriage hookups. I'm a virgin and the person I'm considering dating isn't. She has been a Christian all her life she had a really bad year and had sex with a couple guys. She's changed now and has the Jesus action all over the place. I am very condident she is true and is back on track with Jesus. I think that God put her in my life for a purpose, I just don't know what that purpose is. She really can help and has helped me with my walk with God.

Anyways, should I just date someone who isn't a virgin. Or should I hold out to find someone that is? Is it really all that important? I know it is for me. If someone as horny as me has held out all this time, I really expect to marry a chick that has also kept pure. It seems impossible to find a chick that hasn't had sex before. Should I compromise this marry a virgin thing?

Oh yeah. This is not the same girl I posted about earlier. What do you guys think? Any help would be sweet. Thanks.

 

[ParentofChildren]

Edited out because I am married.