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She Charged me as a CHILD!

Discussion in 'Depression Disorders' started by waving_palm_branches, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. waving_palm_branches

    waving_palm_branches Rev. 2:17

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    Noone ever seems to fully understand, so I figured, even if people don't understand on here, I'll give it a shot. I mean I have to talk to somebody about it, because though it may seem OCD and not that big of a deal to some it hurts me. So, my husband and I went to the movies a few weeks back. At this particular movie theatre they have 4 types of tickets. Adult, Student, Senior, and Child. The Student ticket can go to anyone who is a student, even college. Well, we go up to the thing to get our tickets and she asks how many and my husband says two, I am standing right beside him. The amount it came out to came out pretty cheap and she didn't ID either one of us, I figured in my mind okay she assumed we were students in our twenties, which we are college students, but we also are married with a child. I mean for goodness sake we were seeing a R rated movie.

    Well, I am a very short woman, always have been and unfortunately always will be. I am not even 5 feet tall. I am around the 4'10 mark. I am also one who according to some have "aged gracefully". Noone ever thinks I am old as I really am and for the most part it annoys me. I was even accused of being too young to have a baby when I was pregnant with my child, when I told the woman my age she said I was lying and was probably 16 or 17. It hurts my feelings alot and makes me really depressed. One thing that enters my mind is if I am constantly mistaken for a child, I can't possibly be a desirable woman. I know, I am married and he loves everything about me but that's how it feels. Well, long story short, that girl at the theatre charged me as a CHILD. The ticket is 11 and under. 16 Maybe I can pass for but 11??? I mean come on that's insulting. Now, I have fallen into a depression because I didn't realize she did it until we had left, so I didn't get to say anything like defend my honor you know? I know it sounds stupid but it hurts. There is one girl I know who people constantly mistaken me for her and vise-versa so she is the same height and we look similar to one another and we have a WOMAN'S BODY not that of a child, we have talked about it and she understands but we don't get to talk much because her husband was sent to Germany with the military and so she is there, I wish she was here, we could pass for sisters and right now she seems to be the only one who understands how deep this pierces me. My husband trys to comfort me but I don't think he realizes, how much this can hurt.
     
  2. loved33

    loved33 Newbie

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    not being seen or heard for who we are really does hurt.

    i hear you.

    sorry that happened to you.

    gosh aren't some people strange...fancy telling someone they are lying about their age when having a baby.....i can't believe the front of some people.


    essentially these people lack decent relating skills.

    that isn't within your power to change.


    also.....it's lousy that it happens but people don't tend to pay so much attention.

    the girl who charged you may have seen the back of your head and your height and just 'assumed'.

    gosh ...there is such a lot of painful assumption that goes on.


    i'm from uk and i had a friend from ireland. in the 80's here, it was very 'popular' to assume all irish people were stupid.....i have no idea where it came from...but ...so many comedians were doing jokes about it.

    my friend was so wounded by this stigma...seemingly just cast onto the irish...like some sort of scapegoat for society.


    the people who know you , wouldn't treat you that way.

    that's cos they have taken the time to know you.


    mind you, you were seeing a R rated film.....maybe the girl just wasn't too bright...it can happen.


    sorry your feelings got hurt.
     
  3. NoelAsa

    NoelAsa Senior Veteran

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    I am sorry. Maybe the person selling the tickets just had a very bad day and was not paying that close attention. If it was at night perhaps they just could not see that well. On the other hand if it was an R rated movie and they thought you were younger than 11 they must really not be paying any attention to what they were doing. They might also have just been new on the job and pushed the wrong key by accident. There could be all kinds of reasons for why this happened.

    I have always sounded young, especially on the phone. It was not until I got into my mid 40's that most people finally stopped asking me if my mother was home. I still get asked that question once in a while. People tend not to take you seriously if they think of you as young and that can hurt. Try not to make it personal about you. If you do it will only upset you more. Let go of it.
     
  4. Silver-winged Flyer

    Silver-winged Flyer I take the road less traveled

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    I'm sorry that happened to you. I think the woman didn't bother to look at you.
    People think I'm younger than I am, a few years ago people thought I was 18 and I was in my mid to late twenties.

    Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about your height, God made you that way for a purpose. i'm not sure what it is and I don't know if you'll ever know but you can rejoice in the fact that God made you just the way you are. I like the saying 'God never says oops' and its true, God never makes mistakes. Try to think of all the positive things there are to being short, I'm sure you can think of some.
     
  5. visionary

    visionary Your God is my God... Ruth said, so say I. Supporter

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    I stand 5'10" and at 22 was carded to prove I was over 12 years of age.. so height isn't the only measure that some people use to indicate age...

    Everyone is in their own little world, and view the rest of the world from that spot.. so don't be surprised or dismayed at their conclusions.. there are many strange ones out there.. Take things with a grain of salt, forgive them and move on.. your life is too short to be hurt by what others say or do...

    Separate yourself from comments and actions of others.. it will save you a whole lot of grief...
     
  6. plumsink

    plumsink Friend

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    I was carded for alcohol until I was 40. :) It rankled a bit at first, then as I got older I took it as a compliment. :) The ticket lady was probably oblivious, I wouldn't take it personally. My attitude would be, "hey, cheap tickets, awesome." ;)

    As Visionary said, if you can stop taking the thoughts and actions of others to heart, you can save yourself a lot of pain in this world. Forgive them and forget it.

    Peace
     
  7. Winter

    Winter Jesus, let it be ok

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    Oh my goodness ... I just read myself!

    You are not alone. I look so young its not even funny. When I was 23 everyone thought I was a teenager. I am 37 years old and I look like I'm in my early 20s. I am tiny too - 5 ft. and a face that looks young too! My hair is very coarse and thick which means I have to wear it simple. None of those funky stylish looks. I have to wear my hair in a ponytail or barette which makes me look even more young! It used to irritate me to no end because I worked a professional career during my 20s and noone took me seriously.

    I'll tell you what, though. Things changed after I turned 30. I started to enjoy the fact that most folks saw me as young person. Folks I know whined about looking and getting older, and told me HOW LUCKY I was to have the face and appearance of a 20 year old. When I tell my colleagues how I old I am today, they don't believe me. They are shocked. I kinda like it. :)

    It used to depress me too, though. Professionally especially. But as I got older I realized wow how different and unique that makes me. How much others wished they look like me. At work, they ask me to do some tasks that my colleagues cannot do because they are all middle aged. And although i am the youngest they do not know that at 37 one can start feeling the creaks in their bones and joints. Yet because they think I'm 25, they'll ask me if I can crawl under the desk to plug something in the computer. Or if I could run up the stairs to do something. They say, "your'e so young you can do it better than us." Then I'll have to explain to them that I'm not as young as they thing I am. Heh. I've become a master of disguise. It doesn't bother me though. I love it. Hated it at 27. Love it at 37.

    You'll see that too. Just wait a few years. You'll know what I mean. :hug:
     
  8. waving_palm_branches

    waving_palm_branches Rev. 2:17

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    So, you know as well too even if it isn't completely about height. I see that you are messianic and I think that is awesome! My mother's side of the family is Jewish but my Father's side is not. I chose to be a practicing Catholic for several reasons but I am trying very hard to contribute my Jewish roots to the Catholic side of my life. I won't debate on why I chose to be Catholic even with Jewish roots because I don't want to start "useless and foolish debates" but I can't get myself away from lighting the candles for the Shabbat or celebrating the Jewish holidays or wearing a star of David. I hope this doesn't offend you, me saying all this. Still, I feel very close to my Jewish roots. It's hard though to get people to understand, not within the Catholic faith because of what we believe about the correlations between the two but within others who live in my area. I am in the "Bible Belt" and everyone trys to argue with me all these things are done away with but it's clear Jesus came to fulfill the Old Covenant not to Abolish it. So, as someone with Jewish roots I want to stay true to that. That's another thing that is hard living in a place where most people are Baptist and having nothing but misconceptions about those who are Jewish, those who are Catholic, and apparently those who are short. (Ok that last one was a joke, maybe a bad one). :) Seriously though the gall of some people's comments or ideas ASTOUND me. Like the woman who told me I needed to be taking my vitamins. It's like I want to say the tongue is a two edged sword and yet you people have no problem letting it slice and dice with no regard to others feelings.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2011
  9. Winter

    Winter Jesus, let it be ok

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    I just wanted to add ..... then you can always look forward to the stupid and embarassed look that folks will give AFTER you tell them your real age. I get a guilty kick out of seeing that. :sorry: Lord forgive me. :crossrc:
     
  10. Shulamite

    Shulamite My Bridegroom suffered this for ME

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    Oh my am I with you!!!! Just reading your post, I nodded my head in total understanding. I am only 4ft 10 1/2 inches tall. If I wear heels to church, I might reach 5 ft;). People are cruel. I deal with the comments too. Always have and probably always will. The problem with most people is that they don't bother to "see" the inside of a person's heart, they judge by outside appearance. Many feel superior due to physical beauty or looks. It's just an illusion. According to the scripures, God does not see as "man" sees.

    God hand-crafted each of us and NEVER makes mistakes. I am 42 years old and even girls in high school look physically more mature than I do. I have 3 sons (20, 18 and 12) and I get comments that I am my oldest son's sister, not his mother! LOL.

    I get comments from perfect strangers in the grocery store, church, or even in family. I used to let it hurt me, but I now realize (with the Lord's help) that their rudeness and lack of personal security should not affect me. Neither you nor I would walk up to someone if they were too fat or too tall or too skinny and say something. That's because we have manners and will treat others as we want to be treated. When others behave this way, it reveals the lack of manners and insecurity IN THEM.

    I substitute for the school system in my area and I have even had 1st graders that ask me, "Why are you so small?" and the whole class will chuckle. A few weeks ago I subbed in a middle school classroom and every 6th-8th grade student towered over me. I had to ask the Lord's strength for that day, let me tell ya! ;) But.... what it all boils down to is this: Did we make ourselves? No. . God fashioned and forms each of us according to His will. He does not make errors.

    Hey, guess what? When people at church make comments at me (which they do a lot!) I answer and say, "Well, yes, I am small, but that just means that I will fit better in Jesus's arms one day!"

    I know the frustrations. I live with them a lot... but remember, when people behave this way, what is it REALLY revealing about THEM?
     
  11. visionary

    visionary Your God is my God... Ruth said, so say I. Supporter

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    By the way, there is not a drop of jewish blood in me... just a passion for see the King of the Jews as my savior, He is the great I am, and the Holy One of Israel.. I follow His commands including those from Mount Sinai.. cause He gave them to us via the keepers of His Oracles.
     
  12. waving_palm_branches

    waving_palm_branches Rev. 2:17

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    Any Rabbi will tell you it's not about all about the blood but the soul, if your soul is Jewish than you are a Jew, no matter what your genetic make-up is. Being Jewish is more about a way of life than a genetic make-up. Of course this is a deep subject with much detail but in short it is about the soul and most Rabbis believe that some gentiles are really a Jewish soul in the wrong body, that is why their soul longs for the Torah way of life, when they immerse themselves in the Mikvah that Jewish part of their soul comes out and they are transformed into the Jew that was just waiting to come out. It's More about the covenant that was made with the people and the acceptance of that covenant just like Ruth said "Where thou goest I will go and thy people shall be my people". Your passion for the King of the Jews and the Commands G-d gave us on Mt. Sinai is just a perfect fulfillment of being a follower of the Covenant of the one true G-d. If you ask me. As a Catholic I find I don't abandon the Old Covenant I instead weave it into the New Covenant like a beautiful sweater to be worn with pride. It's a beautiful thing. Being Catholic enhanced my Jewish roots instead of wiping them out.
     
  13. sk8Joyful

    sk8Joyful Well-Known Member

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    Kewl! :D How fortunate :thumbsup: you are!! - Now just keep
    the Beautiful-innocence :angel: of a child's :clap:heart, and in heaven ;) you live....... :wave:
     
  14. waving_palm_branches

    waving_palm_branches Rev. 2:17

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    Thank you. I am constantly hearing comments from people about how my daughter is going to outgrow me and be bigger than me soon. She's just a little over a year now. She probably will outgrow me when it comes to height but her Daddy is very tall so no surprise there if she does. Still, there is a chance she will be small like me and I want her to realize that it's OK. I find small people very attractive myself, maybe because I am small as well, but when I saw another woman small like me one day, I thought she was very attractive and couldn't see why we (no pun intended) get the short end of the stick from people all the time. After much reflection, people's stupidity toward us says a lot more about them than it does us, so who really is the one with a problem here you know? On top of that, jealousy could be a main contributing factor to people being so rude.
     
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