She broke up with me because she "loved me more than Jesus"

Rodite

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We need to take a break. I've been finding my joy in you instead of in Christ.

That's what she said 2+ weeks ago.

She was looking to me to fulfill her in every way. I don't think it was mutual. She's easily the 'most important part of my life,' I would do anything for her, but I wasn't expecting her to be my only source of joy, etc.

Didn't tell me this or hint at it until 'moment-of.'

She has spent the past 3+ weeks, maybe more, doing a lot of praying and reading the Bible. All under extremely 'modern' evangelical pretenses. The type of Christianity that believes
  • God has an exact plan for us
  • That we have to try really hard to seek him and then everything will be literally clear
  • Sort of seems to believe you can "achieve" something
  • Doesn't seem to believe that God usually works subtly
  • Just pray and listen, no need for any theology or critical thinking

It seems that our differing beliefs in touchy details about Christianity is going to end our 1-year-of-dating relationship.

Help? Advice? Please.. Probably only have a few weeks to influence this in a positive way before she really 'exits.'
 

Angeleyes7715

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Not sure what else to tell you besides try to respect her decision. If she's doing it to try an get closer to God and work out her own problems then it's not really a bad thing....

Sorry for your loss of a relationship though. It's rough I just lost my boyfriend a few days ago and have been pretty down about it so I empathize.

You could always offer to pray with her and grow in Christ together.
 
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Rodite

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Not sure what else to tell you besides try to respect her decision. If she's doing it to try an get closer to God and work out her own problems then it's not really a bad thing....

Sorry for your loss of a relationship though. It's rough I just lost my boyfriend a few days ago and have been pretty down about it so I empathize.

Yeah, I'm respecting her decision. I haven't communicated except 3 quick times. It sucks. I'm going to have the opportunity to talk with her for a longer time sometime next week...

The bullet points are generally things that I don't quite fully understand... for instance:
  • God has an exact plan for us
I think God works through us, and that seeking an 'exact plan' doesn't make much sense. I'm not sure if I should try to re-explain the reason for my views early on when we meet, or approach this differently... idk..
 
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Angeleyes7715

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Interesting. Kind of a Christian spin on "It's not you, it's me".

I don't think that's necessarily what that is. I've actually broke up with guys over God before and had it done to me before as well. The way she said it sounds like she is worried about her relationship with God and becoming distracted. But you can tell if she's just using it as an excuse if she isn't dedicated to Christ in other areas of her life. Paul even said something similar to what she said in the Bible. I know you guys aren't married but it still relates....But he said the married woman worries about pleasing her husband whereas the unmarried is more focused on pleasing God. And yes he does say he feels the latter is better, but to avoid lust it's good to marry.

And my faith is the same in that I believe God has a plan for our lives. I know God still gives us free will and choices, but God says I know the thoughts I think toward u thoughts of peace and not of evil to give u an expected end.
Also, prophecies kind of indicate it as well. Prophets of old time even told people and nations what God planned for them. I think God can change his mind on things though and our actions influence our lives as well. Example, jacob and esau. Jacob wrestled with an Angel to get Gods approval. Cause the birthright wasnt even originally for him. He wrestled with an Angel before God would bless him. Clearly God changed his mind here. Also, that time (I think it was Lot) when Lot haggled with God over the amount of righteous people there needed to be for him not to destroy a city. And the times where God was going to destroy people but they humbled themselves and put on sack cloth. God has changed his mind about outcomes a lot. So, I think although God does have a plan for our lives things aren't set in stone.

Things can change based on what we ask God or our decisions but I think God does have an end goal in mind for each of us and he has given us all set gifts he wants us to use for specific purposes.
 
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Angeleyes7715

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We need to take a break. I've been finding my joy in you instead of in Christ.

That's what she said 2+ weeks ago.

She was looking to me to fulfill her in every way. I don't think it was mutual. She's easily the 'most important part of my life,' I would do anything for her, but I wasn't expecting her to be my only source of joy, etc.

Didn't tell me this or hint at it until 'moment-of.'

She has spent the past 3+ weeks, maybe more, doing a lot of praying and reading the Bible. All under extremely 'modern' evangelical pretenses. The type of Christianity that believes
  • God has an exact plan for us
  • That we have to try really hard to seek him and then everything will be literally clear
  • Sort of seems to believe you can "achieve" something
  • Doesn't seem to believe that God usually works subtly
  • Just pray and listen, no need for any theology or critical thinking

It seems that our differing beliefs in touchy details about Christianity is going to end our 1-year-of-dating relationship.

Help? Advice? Please.. Probably only have a few weeks to influence this in a positive way before she really 'exits.'
We need to take a break. I've been finding my joy in you instead of in Christ.

That's what she said 2+ weeks ago.

She was looking to me to fulfill her in every way. I don't think it was mutual. She's easily the 'most important part of my life,' I would do anything for her, but I wasn't expecting her to be my only source of joy, etc.

Didn't tell me this or hint at it until 'moment-of.'

She has spent the past 3+ weeks, maybe more, doing a lot of praying and reading the Bible. All under extremely 'modern' evangelical pretenses. The type of Christianity that believes
  • God has an exact plan for us
  • That we have to try really hard to seek him and then everything will be literally clear
  • Sort of seems to believe you can "achieve" something
  • Doesn't seem to believe that God usually works subtly
  • Just pray and listen, no need for any theology or critical thinking

It seems that our differing beliefs in touchy details about Christianity is going to end our 1-year-of-dating relationship.

Help? Advice? Please.. Probably only have a few weeks to influence this in a positive way before she really 'exits.'

Hey also, why don't you follow her example and seek what God wants for your life.... Maybe he'll tell u if you and that girl are meant to be married or if he has someone else for you that lines up with his plan. Also I suggest reading this book called crazy love. My cousin read it to my youth group when I was 14, 11 years ago lol... I'll never forget it. It impacted my heart extremely. A girl that was a very young age who died very young was used by God in a tremendous way and touched many lives in just a short time. I believe God had that plan for her life.... the book also describes setting yourself apart to really have a relationship with God. Thats who God is coming back for is those people he has a relationship with, people he knows and that know him. So God tells us to be zealous. We are supposed to seek him with All our hearts and no one is supposed to come before him. So even if she had to cut you off to get to Christ it's worth it for her. She intends to save her soul and felt she needed to move out distractions to get closer to Christ. Our lives are short and God will come back soon God says seek him while he may be found. She's prioritizing, doesn't mean you'll never get back together just she wants to put God first.
 
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~Anastasia~

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Just a bit of wondering ...

I wonder if some folks (depending on their Theology) see a contradiction in a God who respects our free will in choosing to follow Him, yet at the same time has a single pre-arranged partner for us and our place is to find and recognize that person ... ?
 
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~Anastasia~

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We need to take a break. I've been finding my joy in you instead of in Christ.

That's what she said 2+ weeks ago.

She was looking to me to fulfill her in every way. I don't think it was mutual. She's easily the 'most important part of my life,' I would do anything for her, but I wasn't expecting her to be my only source of joy, etc.

Didn't tell me this or hint at it until 'moment-of.'

She has spent the past 3+ weeks, maybe more, doing a lot of praying and reading the Bible. All under extremely 'modern' evangelical pretenses. The type of Christianity that believes
  • God has an exact plan for us
  • That we have to try really hard to seek him and then everything will be literally clear
  • Sort of seems to believe you can "achieve" something
  • Doesn't seem to believe that God usually works subtly
  • Just pray and listen, no need for any theology or critical thinking

It seems that our differing beliefs in touchy details about Christianity is going to end our 1-year-of-dating relationship.

Help? Advice? Please.. Probably only have a few weeks to influence this in a positive way before she really 'exits.'

Honestly, this may or may not be helpful, but if you see yourselves as being very different in your Christian beliefs, it would be my desire to want to talk about those things before deepening the relationship.

I DO respect the idea that a relationship can prove too much of a selfish distraction, and if that causes a bit of a twinge in our spiritual senses, then that should be given consideration.

But if both partners seek God, and neither is planning to remain celibate for life, then there should be ways to strengthen one another and see that both hold the other up spiritually, rather than pulling the other away from God.

If it's a matter of influence by her particular beliefs, that's going to be hard to deal with in the short term, and would need dealing with in the long term for an ideal partnership anyway.

I doubt my words are really helping though? :( You have my prayers.
 
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