sex before marriage

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Inkachu

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Why has Sex become the norm within churches?

Why has sex before marriage lost its importances, in young and old individuals?

Like you'll meet a prayed up individual but once you put the ground rule of no sex before marriage. Ohhh then theres a problem.

What happened to following Gods word and laws?

The Bible explains it all. It says that in the last days, people will call evil good, and good evil. What was once good (sex being reserved for one-man-one-woman marriage) is now being called evil (we're "repressing" natural urges and "forcing" our beliefs onto others). And what is evil (fornication, adultery, impurity) is now being called good (it's "natural", God doesn't care, God accepts everyone as is, we're "born this way", etc).

Our culture is a mixture of sexual repression (people who think it's hush-hush or "dirty") and over-sexualization (everything is permissible, follow all your urges, there is no "off limits" behavior). It's turned us into a very confused, frustrated, and messed-up society when it comes to sex.

Despite all that, there ARE still many Christians who view sex in the proper way. It's natural, it's beautiful, it's wonderful, it's not shameful, but it needs to be respected and reserved for marriage, and we need to be responsible for our own thoughts and actions in showing self control. You just need to remain patient until you find a man who believes the same as you do. I promise, if you hold out for one, you WILL find him.
 
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Thank you for you're insight, I'm surely waiting. However, you're correct in saying evil being mixed up with good etc

When I speak to young girl telling them that their bodies are the temple of God and they shouldn't ruin it or abuse it. It's shocking responses I get.

The bible states in:

Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Than again because alot of individual have been exposed to sex or like you say they could do it but in hush hush it's fine to continue.

But what blow my mind and I had to research that:

Whenever two bodies engage in sex, their souls are also united....

That's deep! Now imagine if individual have slept with 20 guys thats 20 souls, different personalities within them.

Just a word of thought.....
 
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russianorth

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There are so many problems its hard to even begin. But what it boils down to is society does not require young marriages (preferable arranged marraiges) and divorce is permitted. Bible times did not have people getting married at 30 with women looking down on men with contempt and picking and choosing like a roman emperor. A "marriage" in the USA is not really a marriage at all because it can be dissolved so easily and there is no punishments for poor behavior within the marriage itself.

There is absolutely not legal accountability what so ever and its really the men who suffer from divorce the most so they are naturally going to want to have sex without that document because its not holy, its an evil concoction of feminism.

What marriage looked like in bible times and what we call marriage now are very different. That's just the way it goes, get used to more and more men not wanting to sign on to a abstract legal document. The more men that know other men who have their wives walk out on them and put them through hell with the legal system are going to think twice.
 
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Cearbhall

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The Bible explains it all. It says that in the last days, people will call evil good, and good evil. What was once good (sex being reserved for one-man-one-woman marriage) is now being called evil (we're "repressing" natural urges and "forcing" our beliefs onto others). And what is evil (fornication, adultery, impurity) is now being called good (it's "natural", God doesn't care, God accepts everyone as is, we're "born this way", etc).
But this isn't a new thing. It's never been a new or rare thing.
There are so many problems its hard to even begin. But what it boils down to is society does not require young marriages (preferable arranged marraiges) and divorce is permitted. Bible times did not have people getting married at 30 with women looking down on men with contempt and picking and choosing like a roman emperor.
I hope you aren't suggesting that there's no space between a woman being forced into an arranged marriage and acting like a despot...
 
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russianorth

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But this isn't a new thing. It's never been a new or rare thing.

I hope you aren't suggesting that there's no space between a woman being forced into an arranged marriage and acting like a despot...

The middle ground is when a divorce occurs you each take your own stuff and you walk away. If a woman was a stay at home mom then that just sucks to be her. You could try to establish fault to determine who gets how much but I can only imagine women would not like the expectation to what ever when ever in bed so if people don't like it you just part ways and that's it. If a woman wants to be stay at home then that should be her gamble not the guys.

No child support, no alimony, you each keep what you paid for and that's it. No women forced to an arranged marriage, no men are forced to be an ATM for a woman who is not putting out.

As it stands now there will be more and more violence and its going to get interesting. My dad and I are going to watch it on the news from a LONG ways away lol.

This will never happen though because women want the money and don't want to do anything for it. Pretty soon guys are going to start catching on that it just might be easier to get rid of her.
 
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Observer

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People have always had sex before marriage and often lied about it/kept it secret. People did it even when there was no birth control, people have always done it. Even if you're not Christian or don't see anything wrong with sex before marriage, there is still the issue of STIs, some which cannot be protected against even with condoms, so it's best not to sleep around no matter what your moral beliefs are.

My husband and I were engaged. We were engaged for years and were in separate countries. We also weren't ALLOWED or ABLE to get legally married for a certain time frame due to him not being a citizen of my country (visa issues), financial reasons. We were 100% committed to each other as much as if we were legally married and we would have been legally married if we could. So really I don't care if anyone saw anything wrong with us having sex before marriage. None of their business and our situation was a bit unique. We were married as much as we could be in our eyes and God knew us and our relationship. We had to spend years apart at a time, we were dedicated enough and proved our commitment more than most couples ever have to.

I don't think divorce should be the way russianorth explained, because 1 person has to sacrifice time/money to raise the children in most situations. Whether the man or woman takes that on, they shouldn't be left with nothing in the divorce because the children belong to them both and it has been a joint effort - one working a job and one raising the children. Neither of them would have been able to get through it without the other, so I do thing the stay at home parent deserves something in the divorce. If they just walk away with nothing, it's kind of like the person earning the money had a free babysitter for 10 years. I'm not saying a parent is equal to a babysitter but that's the only way I can think to get my point across. It was a joint effort, so the house/cars etc shouldn't just remain with the person who had the full time job outside of the house. However there are obvious limitations and problems - obviously there's something wrong if a woman cheats on her husband, divorces him and says she wants the house, the car and half of his money.. but there are also situations where the spouse is warranted to receive their fair share.
 
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Inkachu

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But this isn't a new thing. It's never been a new or rare thing.

Just quoting the Bible, Cearbhall. The actions aren't new, but what IS new is the swapping of moralities. Fornication and adultery were once pretty much universally thought of as bad and wrong; now they're the norm, they're OK, they're even considered good and healthy. That's what's new.
 
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TheYearOftheLady

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This world is just getting worst as the days go by and out of experience, I wished I had waited for marriage.

A lot of people will say how sex makes a healthy relationship. However be me, a born again Christian or anyone who is born again, would know it's for Husband and Wife, not girlfriend and boyfriend.

I'm not condemning anyone that had sex outside of a marriage by the way.

If there is anything I remember that is in the Bible being a Bible noob is God saying how the Husband and Wife must become one flesh.

People would think how it's just sex when it's not. You're sharing YOUR body with someone else. However I'm only 19 and still have lots to learn, because in my opinion, it's not just your body you are giving.

Sex is taking quite lightly for some in this world not all though.
 
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Inkachu

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TYOFTL, you have great wisdom and a good outlook for someone so young. Keep it up and hold onto your convictions! As you get older, the world will get harsher and more critical of your choices to be godly, even from those who profess to be Christians.
 
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Cearbhall

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Choosing to be a stay at home mom entails risks, it would be like gambling in penny stocks. Why should someone else have to pay for the gamble that she takes?
It's a gamble you take as a family, and your kids still exist if you get divorced. What about this is confusing to you?

Again, I'm not sure what you want here. If you don't pay, your kids will.
 
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Armoured

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Choosing to be a stay at home mom entails risks, it would be like gambling in penny stocks. Why should someone else have to pay for the gamble that she takes?

Because women who are stay at home mums don't add any value to the household, right?
 
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Cearbhall

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So the question is then why cant mom suck it up with the decision she made to the guy she decided to have kids with?
Who are you even talking about? Why are you always so focused on this idea that divorces happen because women want to have sex with new guys?

You haven't been here long, but it's been clear from the start that your view of relationships, gender politics, and fatherhood is very skewed. I'm not really sure what else to say to you.
 
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russianorth

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Who are you even talking about? Why are you always so focused on this idea that divorces happen because women want to have sex with new guys?

You haven't been here long, but it's been clear from the start that your view of relationships, gender politics, and fatherhood is very skewed. I'm not really sure what else to say to you.

Im not saying its the only reason it happens but 70% of women initiate divorce. Granted some probably have good reason but with a 50% divorce rate and 70% of the women filing them I cant imagine all of them are filing because they were good little wives and their men beat them or cheated on them. That would be highly statistically improbable.

So that means a good number of women are initiating divorces for frivolus reasons. OF course there is no way to know because of the advent of no fault divorce causes are no longer public record.
 
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Inkachu

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First of all, no, they weren't, and that was part of my point. Mistresses were the norm for most of history. Marriages were nothing more than political or economical arrangements. Moral decay is a myth.

We allow people to live their lives by their own moral codes without shaming them out of town. Sounds like an improvement to me.

Obviously you're looking at this from the moral compass of an agnostic, and I'm looking at it from the angle of the Bible and God's words. Not likely we're going to see this anywhere near the same way lol.
 
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Kitty.

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I think sex before marriage is more common than it was in Biblical days is because people get married much later then they did back then. Individuals start having sexual desires around puberty, but the average age for marriage now is late 20s. The saturation of sex in the media is probably another reason that sex is so prevalent.

None of these things justify it (it's still a sin), but those are some reasons.
 
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russianorth

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I think sex before marriage is more common than it was in Biblical days is because people get married much later then they did back then. Individuals start having sexual desires around puberty, but the average age for marriage now is late 20s. The saturation of sex in the media is probably another reason that sex is so prevalent.

None of these things justify it (it's still a sin), but those are some reasons.

Puberty is enough reason to drive people to sex. I think we try to place too much blame (and power) on the media. I don't need the media to tell me that im really horny.
 
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Kitty.

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Puberty is enough reason to drive people to sex. I think we try to place too much blame (and power) on the media. I don't need the media to tell me that im really horny.

I'm saying that the media normalizes pre-martial sex and makes it look like its not a big deal and that it doesn't have consequences.
 
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