Severe anxiety about a person

[123flower]

Hello everyone,

Since a few years I am dealing with anxiety about a person that's really dear to me. But since a few months my anxiety became really severe. I'm always worried something bad might happen to him, since he is so special to me. The anxiety goes to the extreme: I check news websites to see whether there's an accident, I check my whatsapp several times to see when it's the last time he was online, I'm afraid if he uses the car that an accident might happen, if I hear an ambulance I'm scared something happened to him etc. My heart really pounds and I tremble and I already thinking that something bad has happened to him. Every time I think something has happened he comes home happy and then I feel such a relief. Like today I had one of the worst hour of my life again when he did not came home while he already should be. I know this is not normal behavior and my mom was even mad at me one time for skipping church because I was worried that he did not came home that night. I do pray though if I feel anxious, but it's not always going away.

I have to mention that I have dealt with extreme OCD almost my whole life and that I got cured several times this year, but now the OCD symptoms are back again (checking things, make vows etc.)

I was wondering how to deal with this, because tonight when I had severe anxiety again till the point that I almost wanted to cry, cut myself and thinking about suicide, at that point I just knew this cannot be like this anymore and that I need help.

 

[Angelfrog]

Hon, you absolutely MUST speak to your doctor. I'm not sure what you mean by you were 'cured several times this year'. If you were cured it would be once- if it came back, (obviously also several times this year) you were never cured. Remission of sorts, maybe but not cured. Was it a professional medical practitioner who said that you were cured?

If your OCD symptoms are making things this bad for you, then you need to get some help, hon- maybe medication, even if temporarily. I couldn't possibly advise or give a responsible opinion on that, as I'm not a professional medic so have no place doing so- but, as someone who has a close family member with OCD, I would strongly advise you to see your doctor and discuss your anxiety.

Keep handing it to God as you do so, hon- ('Cast all your cares on him') - pray but seek advice:- seek advice and pray- both go hand in hand.

 

[123flower]

Thank you so much for responding so quickly. I'm really messed up now and I know this is not healthy behavior at all. But it was not my doctor who said I was cured (I did went to a psychologist though). I prayed a lot and I believed I was cured, the symptoms eventually were gone. But then they come back. And maybe you are right, I was not cured in the first place, because then I would behave normal. I actually am too afraid to use medicine, because of possible side effects, but come to think of it, maybe I just have to admit that medicines are not a bad idea. I always thought I could fight this illness without medicine, but I have OCD my whole life and living with it was always difficult. So I am taking into consideration whether I should get myself a treatment for my illness or not.

 

[Avniel]

Thank you so much for responding so quickly. I'm really messed up now and I know this is not healthy behavior at all. But it was not my doctor who said I was cured (I did went to a psychologist though). I prayed a lot and I believed I was cured, the symptoms eventually were gone. But then they come back. And maybe you are right, I was not cured in the first place, because then I would behave normal. I actually am too afraid to use medicine, because of possible side effects, but come to think of it, maybe I just have to admit that medicines are not a bad idea. I always thought I could fight this illness without medicine, but I have OCD my whole life and living with it was always difficult. So I am taking into consideration whether I should get myself a treatment for my illness or not.

Please do what's the worst that could happen if you do go?

 

[Angelfrog]

123flower, I have suffered from depression in my life. I used to believe that I could deal with it- that going to a doctor was somehow admitting that I was a failure. In the end I realised that that was, really, a silly way to think. I was letting some crazy stigma about 'mental illness' (shock horror!) colour my common sense.

I realised that if I have a really sore throat, intense pain when I swallow etc- I go to my doctor and get whatever medication is prescribed to sort it out. I don't hesitate. I certainly don't start thinking that I'm some sort of failure or that I should be able to cope without it. If I have a migraine- I take some ibuprofen or co-codamol if it's bad.

Why on earth should I think that my depression was any different? My body needed help to cope with something that wasn't working the way it should. That simple.

I've had a few different types of anti-depressants. Prozac- although many seem to sing its praises did squat for me. It had no effect on the depression whatsoever and I just had a feeling of nausea and other side effects that I didn't like- so I told my doctor, he took me off it and helped find something that did work and which gave me that help I needed.

Now, I know that OCD is not the same as depression, although that can be part of it- but the principal is the same.

God gave us doctors with medical knowledge and medical science for a reason. Seeking their advice and help is nothing to shy away from. You may not have any side effects at all - if medication ends up being the most appropriate course of action- and if you do- then it's fairly simple to talk to your doctor and get the dose changed or to try another type.

My Mum has a medical condition which she will always have and for which she will have to take tablets daily for the rest of her life. She was given a few different dosages until they got it just right- and it's so common place for her now that she just takes them and done with it. It's no biggie.

I also have the same condition. It's incurable but the medication I need is on an as and when basis. I have to go to hospital to undergo check ups and tests every few months- (17 vials of blood taken at a time is a real giggle when you're one of those whose veins burrow deeply away every time they try and take it!). It's part of my life and , again, no biggie. It's just what I do.

If you need medication, it's no biggie. If it's something that you may need to do permanently- then isn't that better than living with the results of your OCD at the moment? It may not be a miracle cure of your symptoms- but anything that just helps you to cope with the anxiety, that gives you a chance to live as you want- as a strong able person who is in better control of her condition- has to be worth trying, hasn't it?

If your doctor decides that medication isn't the way- then he or she can discuss a plan with you- another way of achieving that better control.

What have you got to lose by making an appointment and going along for a chat?

 

[ananda]

Is this person you care about a faithful believer?

What would be the absolute worse thing that would happen if something bad did happen to him? (Not that I wish that on him, but merely asking that to possibly help you reframe your thoughts and feelings about the issue).

 

[mandyangel]

Praying for you my sister. God bless. Anytime u wanna talk I'm here, no judgement, just someone to listenhugs, mandy

 

[iambren]

Medication--Yes! Why suffer when a little pill can relieve you?

You said "I'm always worried something bad might happen to him"

Are you sure that your worry is not a WISH?

 

[insurchoftruth]

God will either deliver you from suffering, or if not, will give you the strength and grace, to pass trough it and endure it.


Difficulties make you do some good things which you would not do otherwise.



Romans 15:13, Psalm 121:7, Psalm 46:1, Psalm 62:8, 68:19, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11, 4:16-18, 7:6, 12:8,9,10, Psalm 43:5, Psalm 119:50, Psalm 34, Psalm 42:5, Psalm 86, Job 29:3, Isaiah 25:8, 30:18,19,20, 40:1, 41:10,13,14, Psalm 69, Psalm 13, Psalm 94:19, Lamentations 3:1-66, Psalm 56:3,8, Psalm 59:10, Psalm 54:7, Psalm 112:7, 116:3-9, Psalm 30, Psalm 31, Psalm 22, Psalm 94:17-19, Psalm 25:16,17,18, Psalm 147:3, Psalm 22:24, Psalm 54:7

 

[123flower]

Sorry for not replying anymore. Thank you all so much for your advice. I still don't know whether I should go to the doctor or not though.

Today it happened again unfortunately. He has to work tomorrow and said he would go to a christmas party and will come home at 1 am, but now he's still not at home and I texted him and called him several times. He said I'm here still partying and will come a few hours later.. while he has to go to work tomorrow. I think this time though, it wasn't odd that I was worried because he never mentioned about coming home a few hours later and it's unusual because he never come home late during weekdays. Still though, it's the 100 time I am worried about him and texted or called him. His friends are probably laughing their buts off because I'm always this worried and he said he's also embarrassed of me always worrying about him in front of his friends.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Well look at it this way. If you don't go to the doctor wouldn't that mean you are turning this person into your idol by worrying about them 24/7?

I don't have OCD, well maybe just a small amount. But I used to worry about someone ALOT. I would sit on FB for hours. Check me emails every few minutes...etc. I made this person my idol to the point of I wouldn't even read my bible in the morning. First priority was getting on the computer to see if they were on. On top of that God would want us to have faith that the person we care about is doing alright.

Granted with OCD I know its even harder to do all this. So in my mind I think God has maybe a bit of understanding that you may not 100% be able to help yourself when thinking of this person. But he would still want you to go to a doctor.

As I type this I myself am missing my fiance. Where shes at theres no real wifi connection she can't contact me until probably after christmas. I have to try to live my life and not worry about her so much. I love her, but I know she is in Gods hands. Either way I'll be praying for you!