Scrupulosity

[Sonicwhite]

It never ceases to amaze me of how long I can go thinking I'm living out the christian life but really it's all fueled by fear. I said yesterday I'm done with it. It I have to live in pain motivated by OCD and condemnation than I don't want to practice this faith anymore. I can go months and months without realizing that I'm fixed on the idea that hell is closer to me than others. What really gets me is those hell fire brimstone preachers who don't have a clue what scrupulosity is and set people on fire with their tongues. I'm just tired of this walk that goes no where.

 

[Boidae]

It never ceases to amaze me of how long I can go thinking I'm living out the christian life but really it's all fueled by fear. I said yesterday I'm done with it. It I have to live in pain motivated by OCD and condemnation than I don't want to practice this faith anymore. I can go months and months without realizing that I'm fixed on the idea that hell is closer to me than others. What really gets me is those hell fire brimstone preachers who don't have a clue what scrupulosity is and set people on fire with their tongues. I'm just tired of this walk that goes no where.

One thing that may help you is to remember that this is not a sprint, but rather an endurance race and our finish line is our physical death and our prize is eternal life with our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

 

[BryanW92]

I feel your pain. I've been there myself recently when I finally decided to leave the United Methodist Church. In my church, I could only see the failure of Christianity. Outside my church, I saw nothing Godly.

I'm far from being fully sanctified, but when people in my church would tell me that I'm the holiest person they know, all I could think was, "You need to find a better class of people to hang out with because I am a fraud as a holy person!" But I just smiled and thanked them and told them that we're all holy in our own way, or some other churchy platitude.

I came on CF and found myself surrounded by people who claim perfection. Some are sinless. Some live without money or jobs or material goods. Some don't do anything but pray and read the bible. Some work 24 hours a day for the poor.

Or so they claim.

But very few are honest. They're the same "Internet Heroes" you find on the gun forums, the car forums, the programming forums, the home repair forums, etc. They always do it perfectly and cheaper than you possibly can. They gain happiness by making people think that they do it better than you.

Get away from the internet if you have doubts. Find a church that seeks holiness and join in. Serve the church and serve the community. Don't worry about hell.

If you have doubts about your salvation, then you are right on track. Keep doubting and trust that Jesus will stand up for you at your judgment. Trust that he will say, "This is one of mine. I vouch for him."

 

[Andrea411]

It never ceases to amaze me of how long I can go thinking I'm living out the christian life but really it's all fueled by fear. I said yesterday I'm done with it. It I have to live in pain motivated by OCD and condemnation than I don't want to practice this faith anymore. I can go months and months without realizing that I'm fixed on the idea that hell is closer to me than others. What really gets me is those hell fire brimstone preachers who don't have a clue what scrupulosity is and set people on fire with their tongues. I'm just tired of this walk that goes no where.

I'm sorry your struggling but from my vantage it doesn't look like you have a relationship with Christ. It seems you have a fear of hell so you joined a religion that promises you won't go to hell.

If you truly knew your Savior, you would love him no matter what some numbskull says about you or hell. You love Jesus not just your bible or your denomination...

The Christian faith is about life today its not all about after you die... life and that life more abundantly. Somewhere you missed the most important part of being a Christian, faith in Christ. he who began a good work in you is faithful to keep you even while you are faithless as long as you are willing to stick to Him, He is willing to stick to you.

He doesn't just love the good part of you... he loves the entire you. Even the part that sins. He only asks that you repent and trust Him.
Eyes focused on sin or on hell are not focused on Jesus, the author and Finisher of our faith. That is not license to go freely sin, it is so that you turn toward Jesus and forget about yourself for awhile and allow Christ to do a good work in you.
God bless, andrea

if you'd like some Christian encouragement here is a blog I write with 3 other women who discuss our long walk of faith...
Pro 31 Women's Compendium | Writings from four Christian women to edify and encourage you!

 

[Sonicwhite]

I'm sorry your struggling but from my vantage it doesn't look like you have a relationship with Christ. It seems you have a fear of hell so you joined a religion that promises you won't go to hell.

If you truly knew your Savior, you would love him no matter what some numbskull says about you or hell. You love Jesus not just your bible or your denomination...

The Christian faith is about life today its not all about after you die... life and that life more abundantly. Somewhere you missed the most important part of being a Christian, faith in Christ. he who began a good work in you is faithful to keep you even while you are faithless as long as you are willing to stick to Him, He is willing to stick to you.

He doesn't just love the good part of you... he loves the entire you. Even the part that sins. He only asks that you repent and trust Him.
Eyes focused on sin or on hell are not focused on Jesus, the author and Finisher of our faith. That is not license to go freely sin, it is so that you turn toward Jesus and forget about yourself for awhile and allow Christ to do a good work in you.
God bless, andrea

if you'd like some Christian encouragement here is a blog I write with 3 other women who discuss our long walk of faith...
Pro 31 Women's Compendium | Writings from four Christian women to edify and encourage you!

Andrea to be blunt did you read the topic? Scrupulosity NO! It's seems since no one can prove mental illness. christians are the first and worst at blinding giving what they learn....I no longer going to tell people I'm above them......

 

[Andrea411]

Andrea to be blunt did you read the topic? Scrupulosity NO! It's seems since no one can prove mental illness. christians are the first and worst at blinding giving what they learn....I no longer going to tell people I'm above them......

No. I didn't expect scrupulosity to be in non-denominational.

It belongs in mental health or deeper fellowship or prayer requests.... there are many people with OCDs that are Christians that can be supportive of you.

God bless, andrea

 

[Sonicwhite]

No. I didn't expect scrupulosity to be in non-denominational.

It belongs in mental health or deeper fellowship or prayer requests.... there are many people with OCDs that are Christians that can be supportive of you.

God bless, andrea

This was more to express the pain I go thru........and since OCD forums are a ghost forum might as well put it somewhere where it will be read.

 

[Andrea411]

This was more to express the pain I go thru........and since OCD forums are a ghost forum might as well put it somewhere where it will be read.

I understand that... often when we're in pain we don't want someone trying to fix us, we just want to know we're heard. With your particular OCD a regular forum might?? do more harm. I don't know you or how you process other people advice but if the tendency is to internalize it... this is not a good place for that. Anonymous forums can be very unpredictable... lol. Thats a nice way of saying cruel.

I will pray for you, I have an OCD that flairs up once in while. It just makes me wild when people explain what I can do about it... I'm 60 unless its very new, I've heard it, tried it and overcome it at least once. Now I learn to live within it.

 

[Sonicwhite]

Ya learning is hard.....I just want my old life back and I think where all like that. I'm sorry if I came off mean.....I am in pain............

 

[looking4joy]

sonicwhite,
I totally hear you. I had a great life until I set my mind on finding God. It's not that God wasn't ever found, he was, but I was diagnosed with OCD, form of scrupulosity, bipolar and schizophrenia not long after.

I wish I could go back to my old mind's worries... if you know what I mean. I worried about very little and stressed out hardly ever. Very laid back. Now I OCD out of fear the religion I thought I could find.

One thing I did cognitively figured out though, Jesus was a man/God who lived long ago, carried my burden with him to the cross, and died on it, and was raised to new life!! This excites me. Even if it's just all for the fact that Jesus didn't have to see corruption, his victory is historic. The awesome news is that I died with him and will recieve the crown of righteousness for what he did when he lived on earth. I can dig that much.

I struggle with so much in my mind because OCD and bipolar and schizophrenia don't mix well... But I know who won the war!

 

[FanthatSpark]

Good conscious,

There many verses on good conscious . 1 Tim.1:5 The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

With that said, those little voices inside all our heads whispers to a normal mind but screams at you. One is bad one is good . Because you feel pain in trying to "do" what is difficult, for all at times, in our sinful ways and we all fail. That bad voice is now trying to convince you that fellowship in God and faith in you are folly. At times we all feel the same for a sin we know we commit and refuse to give it up.

Lets talk of seasons in sin. For a young man it may be sex, obtaining money or vanity, rebellion of parents. Those are just examples of a, season in sin, when a young man grows out of these things (a believer) a true repentance comes about with fewer slip ups. It takes life experience for some to see that the road is bad for the vessel (or in other words beatdown in sin, body and mind). For you, a tiny discrepancy in righteousness of self makes you doubt in your OCD mindset and that bad voice is now heard and given some thought in your consciousness... Beatdown. Now comes depression of self, because self has a hold on self and we loose sight that self is of the devil, John 8:44 in all of us...= Bad voice and our following it. For you, it is much worse inside your head than a normal mindset in this season of discrepancy of self.

Because you feel pain of the mind , it is actually a good thing because spiritual warfare is commenced. You need building up in love . Joel Olsteen, You tube, will help build self and you may have to reside in those type teachings for a season to change self image from bad to good. Leave off (for a season) anything to do with strife to compare with self. Self, is foremost ... Why? Because self has Gods spirit inside and right now your spirit is suffocating under self beatdown/guilt or a # of other things going on in that mind of yours. Do not let that voice convince you that the sin in you makes you unworthy. Remember Rom 3:10 none is righteous, no not one. Furthermore, concentrate on above verse in love and build self up in said love. Praying for ya sonic.

Before you catch an attitude over some things written here in, know that there is only one reason for pain even in an OCD mindset and although a lot of what is written here in may not pertain to you. There is a truth for you here in. Learn to love self brother and then watch the floodgates of wisdom flow to you in love another as yourself. What is God? Love.1 John 4:16 & 4:8 go see Joel Olsteen and build my brother... Prayer be with you!!