Rude Co-workers

[mystiquenigma]

Hey everyone,

A situation happened today at work. I am part of a 5 man group working on a special project which began in March. Two of the 5, a male and female, have grown close over the past month. Neither of them are christian but the female knows the bible pretty well (way better than I do actually). The male, on the other hand, does not know the bible but he is considering turning Christian. Both live lives which are not righteous e.g. constant cursing, partying, drinking, fornicating etc hence y they get along so well. But that's not what I focusing on.

I am a fairly new christian and I therefore do not know how to explain many things to non believers. However, today I walked into the room where they were talking about the Lord and christianity. The male seemed really confused and the female was trying to explain it to him. For example, the male doesnt understand how people can curse God, or how other faiths can worship other Gods. I knew the answers to some of his questions and the female was giving him the wrong information for some of them. So I, though being a very shy person, asked him if he was confused. However, the girl asked me what could he be confused about. I said: confused about what you are talking about i.e. Christianity. Then the male said, "Another thing I don't get is why christians always butt into conversations about God uninvited". Then he added "oh not u though", referring to me. So I got up and moved over to the other side because apparently that conversation was private, even though we were in a very public open place.

I was highly offended since like I mentioned I am a shy person and would normally never "butt" into conversations. I got really angry at his comment since I really don't get how he could say that. I was trying to help him even though I may not know much, but for 2 nonbelievers to be talking bout the Lord and not wanting my input as a Christian was too much to bare for me. I understand that I am to be an ambassador for Christ so I wanted to explain to them the truth. How dare they sit there and talk about our Lord and then push away one of his children who came to help them. How can you expect to get valid and righteous answers from someone who is not saved and doesn't live for Christ? Also, I realised that he wants to become a Christian but constantly looks down upon Christianity and the way we are supposed to live.

Other situations have occurred where they asked me questions but I couldn't give a good response due to my quiet nature and the fact that I really do suck at talking to people, e.g. they believe having sex before marriage is a MUST and of course I don't agree.

I was just so upset that I started to cry from frustration (not in front of them of course). Is this the right response? Am I overreacting? Should I avoid them unless work related? (sorry for the long post btw lol)

 

[Sketcher]

Well, a couple of things. First, you need to get answers before you can give them. Not that you did anything wrong here, but there are people who know about the Bible but do not know God, and if you don't know the Bible, talking about it with them is really biting off more than you can chew. Though I must say that the faith of a new Christian can be mightily used by God.

Second, I think you reacted in a right way. I mean, you could have acted a lot worse, like telling them off as I would be prone to doing. Besides, you might have been walking into a situation like I mentioned above.

What you should do is pray for them, and for God to lead you with witnessing and have daily devotions so that you will be ready. Study your daily Bible passages, find out the context and the grand scheme of things. Ask the Lord to guide you as you go. Don't be reluctant to let people know of your faith, but be ready. If you're regularly putting the Lord's word into your head, that's what's going to come out of your mouth.

 

[Peripatetic]

My advice would be to be careful about having too many conversations about religion and politics at work - especially if they are debates or controversial in nature. These topics often get heated and end up with strained relationships. You can always demonstrate your faith by how you live, work, and treat people. If someone seeks you out, or you find just the right time to share your faith... great! That will probably serve you better. I'm fairly private at work, but God does lead me to witness on occasion.

 

[Johnnz]

You did OK. It takes time to develop good answers to some questions.And you can expect some robust challenges. Just ride them out. It will be your attitude - not reactive, not judgemental, can admit when you don't know something - that can count as much as anything you say.

John
NZ

 

[sbbqb7n16]

I heard a long time ago, that when people overreact with some hostility to a normal everyday occurence - that there is something in them they are dealing with, and it has nothing to do with you.

It's a normal occurence to hear a conversation (taking place in a public place) and if it was an interesting conversation... well... people get interested! Pretty normal and not a big deal.

The fact that he responded that way says more about his attitude than anything.

If he ever brings it up, you can just say non-chalantly "oh well you seemed confused and I've been looking into that very topic recently - it's interesting. Just trying to help."

I don't see anything wrong with what you did.

 

[mystiquenigma]

Well, a couple of things. First, you need to get answers before you can give them. Not that you did anything wrong here, but there are people who know about the Bible but do not know God, and if you don't know the Bible, talking about it with them is really biting off more than you can chew. Though I must say that the faith of a new Christian can be mightily used by God.

Second, I think you reacted in a right way. I mean, you could have acted a lot worse, like telling them off as I would be prone to doing. Besides, you might have been walking into a situation like I mentioned above.

What you should do is pray for them, and for God to lead you with witnessing and have daily devotions so that you will be ready. Study your daily Bible passages, find out the context and the grand scheme of things. Ask the Lord to guide you as you go. Don't be reluctant to let people know of your faith, but be ready. If you're regularly putting the Lord's word into your head, that's what's going to come out of your mouth.

I've been trying to study the bible but I get lost easily. I'm still hearing too many teachings that seem false. That's why i find it so difficult to talk to people about Christianity since I really don't want to be saying the wrong things. Since I am a new Christian and quiet, its not a very good thing for me when I am around non-believers. They ask me questions then I just don't know what to say out loud, yet in my head I can totally give the right answer. I'm looked down upon by some people. Even though I was expecting this when I gave my life to Christ, its extremely frustrating.

 

[mystiquenigma]

My advice would be to be careful about having too many conversations about religion and politics at work - especially if they are debates or controversial in nature. These topics often get heated and end up with strained relationships. You can always demonstrate your faith by how you live, work, and treat people. If someone seeks you out, or you find just the right time to share your faith... great! That will probably serve you better. I'm fairly private at work, but God does lead me to witness on occasion.

The conversation that was going on wasn't very heated. The male was just saying how confused he was about certain things, and I think he thinks it is better to speak to someone like him, i.e. someone who is not Christian and is still living in sin basically. Which makes absolutely no sense to me. He wants help but doesn't want help from someone who can actually help him.

 

[mystiquenigma]

I heard a long time ago, that when people overreact with some hostility to a normal everyday occurence - that there is something in them they are dealing with, and it has nothing to do with you.

It's a normal occurence to hear a conversation (taking place in a public place) and if it was an interesting conversation... well... people get interested! Pretty normal and not a big deal.

The fact that he responded that way says more about his attitude than anything.

If he ever brings it up, you can just say non-chalantly "oh well you seemed confused and I've been looking into that very topic recently - it's interesting. Just trying to help."

I don't see anything wrong with what you did.

I really doubt he's going to bring it up. Yea its very obvious to me that he has an attitude towards Christians.

 

[Johnnz]

If you enjoy thinking then these two sites have some great material available:
bethinking.org - Engage with Culture & www.vertitas.org

John
NZ

 

[Hakan101]

Ms. Mystique, I am thinking it was great that you reached out and attempted to help explain the word of God to those who did not understand it. I can tell you that I have myself run into similar times when I have tried to explain the word of God, but then I am suddenly unsure of what to say. But what I then do is educate myself in that topic so I will never again be unable to answer, and I pray that God helps you educate yourself in turn.

But I think that Mr. Vertigo has very wise words in that religious conversations can cause strained relations. I can tell you myself that on one time I heard my co-workers talking about a passage in the Bible, and they were saying that the Bible did not really mean that Jesus walked on the water. But they were not using scripture to support it, and they were only looking at one sentence, so I know they were not aware of the whole passage. I immediately explained to them with truth that the Bible says he walked on the water, however their reactions were quiet and angry, I feel they were upset at me for interrupting their conversation and telling them they were wrong. But I try to live in God's word, and by acting friendly and treating them kindly, I am sure they forgot about that moment (so it is just as Mr. Vertigo suggest). I hope the next time someone asks you a question about God you are able to help them.

 

[Butterfly beautiful]

hia, i feel for you, ive had similar, some people are more thick skinned and can take cheeky remarks more than others!lol, im quite reserved and polite also- so when somone is rude to you it hurts, especially if its about god, because its so deep and close to your heart- dont worry, i find it helps, (although its somtimes difficult) to forgive the person who hurt you, and love your enemy.
just remember God loves you, and the fact that you felt strongly enough to speak up in the first place showed your allegiance to him!- so what if you dont know the bible all that well? knowlege of the bible can be learned and recited by anyone; even really bad people!! -
just speak from your heart!,

hope you feel better about this soon xx

 

[Peripatetic]

The male was just saying how confused he was about certain things, and I think he thinks it is better to speak to someone like him, i.e. someone who is not Christian and is still living in sin basically.

Yeah, it's interesting how many Christians are living a life "in the flesh" or "of the world". They still may be Christians, but just in a different point of their journey. Unfortunately, society today makes case that if you are generally a good person and believe in God, you will go to Heaven. They have it backwards though... it doesn't matter how good you are relative to others. What matters is your relationship with God, which brings out the best of you as a result (not of your own doing).

But I guess I'm preaching to the choir here.

 

[mystiquenigma]

Ms. Mystique, I am thinking it was great that you reached out and attempted to help explain the word of God to those who did not understand it. I can tell you that I have myself run into similar times when I have tried to explain the word of God, but then I am suddenly unsure of what to say. But what I then do is educate myself in that topic so I will never again be unable to answer, and I pray that God helps you educate yourself in turn.

But I think that Mr. Vertigo has very wise words in that religious conversations can cause strained relations. I can tell you myself that on one time I heard my co-workers talking about a passage in the Bible, and they were saying that the Bible did not really mean that Jesus walked on the water. But they were not using scripture to support it, and they were only looking at one sentence, so I know they were not aware of the whole passage. I immediately explained to them with truth that the Bible says he walked on the water, however their reactions were quiet and angry, I feel they were upset at me for interrupting their conversation and telling them they were wrong. But I try to live in God's word, and by acting friendly and treating them kindly, I am sure they forgot about that moment (so it is just as Mr. Vertigo suggest). I hope the next time someone asks you a question about God you are able to help them.

I'm trying my best to learn from the bible but I realise its really difficult for me to do so. I think people get upset because they think that Christians believe they know everything and are ever so holy i.e better than everybody else. When I saw them saying things like Jesus is no longer here with us and you only need faith in God to go to heaven, I really wanted to say something. I know I'm not supposed to enter into conversations about religion but it just annoys me to hear them talking utter nonsense like they have absolute authority over the topic.

 

[mystiquenigma]

Yeah, it's interesting how many Christians are living a life "in the flesh" or "of the world". They still may be Christians, but just in a different point of their journey. Unfortunately, society today makes case that if you are generally a good person and believe in God, you will go to Heaven. They have it backwards though... it doesn't matter how good you are relative to others. What matters is your relationship with God, which brings out the best of you as a result (not of your own doing).

But I guess I'm preaching to the choir here.

Yea I've quite a few friends who are Christian but identify more with nonbelievers, e.g. partying etc. Some of them are just so comfortable doing what they want that they think its okay with God since they are saved. But I think that when you are really saved you wouldn't want to live the way the world is living cuz you realise how twisted and ungodly it really is.

At work I am avoided by the persons my age since I dont really relate to what they are talking about, like the crude music and crude comedies. Certain conversations are tiptoed around when I am in the room and things like that. So I'm labelled as boring, in and out of the office.

 

[heymikey80]

The conversation that was going on wasn't very heated. The male was just saying how confused he was about certain things, and I think he thinks it is better to speak to someone like him, i.e. someone who is not Christian and is still living in sin basically. Which makes absolutely no sense to me. He wants help but doesn't want help from someone who can actually help him.

He wants help to remain in his lifestyle, it sounds like. He's having conceptual trouble living the life he's leading, but he considers Christianity implausible. So he's looking for credible people like him to help support his lifestyle.

That's what it sounds like to me. You can ask him if he wants to know the Christian viewpoint, but normally people will simply assume they already know what it is. They're also normally in error about it; but unless you're in the position to answer, they'll continue along that position of enforced ignorance.

That'd require even more-basic work: building credibility. Agree that there are crackpots who call themselves Christians -- just like there are, non-Christians. Share your trust in those credible sources you both consider authoritative -- Christian or not.

Build credibility. Then people will listen credulously.

As for understanding the Bible, I've found Romans and "the Roman Road" path of verses to be fairly solid on what it says. I realize that doesn't help with a specific question or practice. Learning what the Bible says can take years. Still, you can always say, "You know, I don't know. I never had that question. Let me get back with you after asking some people I trust about it." I know it took me a long time to trust that the Bible would say the right thing, too. It's hard to defend what I don't know, for sure. I wish we could learn some of this by osmosis. "Bring on the Matrix-style of learning!"

 

[heymikey80]

At work I am avoided by the persons my age since I dont really relate to what they are talking about, like the crude music and crude comedies. Certain conversations are tiptoed around when I am in the room and things like that. So I'm labelled as boring, in and out of the office.

I loved Pippert's response to this, in "Out of the Salt Shaker". Someone said Christians were boring and didn't cuss, and they were such prudes. She responded much like this:

"Well, I'm a Christian, and so I'm opposed to murder."

The questioner responded -- "Wha ... what does that have to do with cursing and crudeness?" Predictably! I had the same reaction when I read it.

She then went into a description of how cursing is regularly just treating someone as an object, not a person -- spiritually killing them. People are something more than flesh & blood. They're souls and spirits, they're lives and wills and emotions. To attack people with cursing or bad conversation kills them -- just in a different way than shooting or stabbing. People who actually enjoy crudeness are simply engaged in bringing people out of their spiritual lives. They're engaged in spiritual murder.

That was a confrontational, but very explosive little interchange for me when I read it.

 

[mystiquenigma]

I loved Pippert's response to this, in "Out of the Salt Shaker". Someone said Christians were boring and didn't cuss, and they were such prudes. She responded much like this:

"Well, I'm a Christian, and so I'm opposed to murder."

The questioner responded -- "Wha ... what does that have to do with cursing and crudeness?" Predictably! I had the same reaction when I read it.

She then went into a description of how cursing is regularly just treating someone as an object, not a person -- spiritually killing them. People are something more than flesh & blood. They're souls and spirits, they're lives and wills and emotions. To attack people with cursing or bad conversation kills them -- just in a different way than shooting or stabbing. People who actually enjoy crudeness are simply engaged in bringing people out of their spiritual lives. They're engaged in spiritual murder.

That was a confrontational, but very explosive little interchange for me when I read it.

Oh wow, that's definitely an interesting response. If I had said that to the male or female I am talking about, I would get cursed and labeled as an idiot. They'd probably look at each other in silent understanding first though.

 

[Johnnz]

A negative reaction does not always mean disrespect, If, over time you are not angry, but confront with a reasonable amount of commonsense and logic, and don't 'rubbish' their views, but merely present a confident counter statement then quite often you will earn some respect from others.

John
NZ

 

[heron]

He wants help but doesn't want help from someone who can actually help him.

Most people just want to rant. Giving an answer shifts his conversation from a dominant position to a vulnerable position. He did not plan to be vulnerable. I think that's why he was abrasive.

If people know you are a believer, then eventually they will come to you with questions. But it will be different -- they will honestly want to know if they come to you.

 

[savedbygracebre]

Remember God will "get your back". God says " vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I will repay". I don't know about you but I think having God on my side makes me feel comfortable when it comes to dealing with the pagan world we live in. You can take your anger towards them and give it to God-He WILL take card IF you let Him. As far as trying to help, you did no wrong, you were just trying to help-enough said, not your fault and I applaud you for having the courage to stand up for the Lord. What to do now:
sharpen your sword! You must study the scriptures( in particular the New Testament). Strenghthen your knowledge of Christ(The Word). Find some good source of apologetic materials(Ravi Zaccharias is excellent). " Study to show thyself approved" . Prepare yourself for the time when God needs you to speak. And please don't belittle yourself on how" little" you know or how you feel inadequate-Listen you are a CHILD OF GOD, there is none like you, you were created unique and special. God made you the way He wanted you; it's up to you to take the gifts He has given you and to make them strong enough to help further His kingdom. God Bless.