Reliance on people to make me happy

[boywonder123]

Hey Guys,

Basically I've had this issue,it may sound really stupid and funny to some buto well,I've always had this issue of sort "wanting to have notifications" as in,people texting me,ringing me,emailing me facebooking me etc! I get depressed if I don't see a notoifcation on my phone lol, & I get really depressed that I always have to start conversation with people on Facebook etc.

I'm always on twitter,Facebook etc! Just "looking for something" I think it started from when I saw other popels Facebook messages,I'd tbink "wow this person is popular" and I would want to be that! So k got this habit of ignroing conversations,making conversations on websites like Facebook and twitter to seem or fe popular or even wanted.

I know I shouldn't care about this,this void is what jesus should be replacing! I constantly check my phone even if there's no anything there etc! ..


What shoudlkd I do,I'm thinking of fasting my phone or even in fact just only using it when I receive a call or text?

Anyone else have any advice for this?what should I do with this,because I'm actually always hooked on my phone,looking for attention Lol.I'm a guy as well.

.also because I've left college I don't have as many friends,I have some j see from time to time and I'm jealous of people who have friends they're with 24/7,anyone else went through this?


Christ is all I need,in this life.

 

[Znex]

I know this feel all too well.

I myself have in the recent past been on the net - although not necessarily looking for people to talk or reply to recently, I have been like that in the further past - for long periods of time just looking for other stuff to look at and do, often at the expense of study and work I'm supposed to be doing.

Needless to say, it has been unhealthy for me, and it really sounds like what you're going through is being quite unhelpful to you, especially if it does hamper anything you need to do like it has for me, and especially if it is causing you stress.

I'm also not new to the friendless situation. In fact, even though I'm at uni/college, I'm finding it hard at the moment because there aren't many friends that I can meet up with more than once during the week and not for study-related reasons. It is genuinely sucky.

I reckon the internet is easily a substitute for the friendship we can often lack, and at times that can be good. However it is not a perfect substitute, and it does not fill the gap in our lives - it does not satisfy us and we need more and more each time. So we can be easily addicted to the internet, as if it solved all our friendship problems with a few clicks.

This sort of addiction I think is not far off the mark of idolatry, if it is any distance away at all. We have to post this thing so other people will find it funny, we have to thumb up this so we get noticed, we have to offer our daily sacrifice of reposts for the internet god so we are granted out of its graceful benevolence a friend who'll maybe respond to one of our posts!

....

Brother, the internet is good, but God is better. Where we pray, God will reply always. Sometimes the answer is no, sometimes it is maybe later. But whatever he decides, we know he chooses for the benefit of his people.

We both have a genuine need - wanting friendship is not something to be ashamed of! Indeed, God himself notes in Genesis 2:18a: "It is not good for the man to be alone." Relationship with God is at the top of our priority list, but relationship with other humans is not something to be neglected, for as the two great commandments are: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands." (Matt 22:37-40 HSCB)

We may be lonely for the time being, and in time he will decide what is best for us. It may be we are not entirely aware of what he is doing for us. Nonetheless, in the meantime, we must repent of our sins to God, and walk on the right path in the light of his revelation of the Son. An imperfect creation of man will not and cannot supply for us what God can: pure satisfaction and fulfillment.

So I suggest you definitely limit your phone access, and if you can have someone or something - like a blocking program - help you on that agenda, it will be extra-helpful for you and much less stressful when you want to use your phone again.

Make effort to replace the time where you would normally use your phone with productive and useful stuff. Read your Bible and pray where you can. Prepare for work, if you have it. Explore your hobbies, eg. you might like to write stories, in which case, begin to write an awesome epic/emotional tale of intrigue/whatever else you might want to write!

Also, see if you can meet up with friends and/or make new friends. (I probably should have suggested this earlier!) Church is often a good place to meet fellow Christians who can be friends, wherever you go to church.

If there aren't many you connect with there, it might not be a bad idea to consider visiting other churches, although don't do it at the expense of not listening to God's thoughts on the matter. Definitely pray before you even think about setting a date for going out to visit churches.

 

[boywonder123]

Wow thanks man! I know I'm not going to write as much as you did but I truly appreciate that u took you're time to read it! Yeah I find that if its not Jesus is not gonna fill me up! From now I'm only using my phone when I need to,etc!

Thanks and I'll be praying for you! By e

 

[Shiranui117]

I know the feeling of seeking and craving approval and acceptance and love from others. In my case, it's because I haven't entirely accepted and learned to love myself. I thrive on praise and acceptance from others because I'm unable to give myself these things.

So what I've started to do is turn inward and see what's inside of me, asking Jesus and the Holy Spirit to shine light on my heart and illuminate the darkness and sin and pain within that keeps me unconfident, insecure and unable to truly embrace myself as being beautifully and specially and uniquely made by God in His image. And then I deal with those things in my heart and in my mind, with God's help, repenting where I need to, and letting go of things that I shouldn't be holding on to. Maybe this is something you can do too. If you can accept yourself, then you don't need the acceptance from others nearly as much.

As for the friends issue, Znex already hit it on the head.

 

[Shiranui117]

I know the feeling of seeking and craving approval and acceptance and love from others. In my case, it's because I haven't entirely accepted and learned to love myself. I thrive on praise and acceptance from others because I'm unable to give myself these things.

So what I've started to do is turn inward and see what's inside of me, asking Jesus and the Holy Spirit to shine light on my heart and illuminate the darkness and sin and pain within that keeps me unconfident, insecure and unable to truly embrace myself as being beautifully and specially and uniquely made by God in His image. Maybe this is something you can do too. If you can accept yourself, then you don't need the acceptance from others nearly as much.

As for the friends issue, Znex already hit it on the head.